What do you need?

Graphic novels. Weekly rags. The @$$holes.

What do you need?

Postby CrazySlasher on Fri Mar 03, 2006 2:18 am

What kind of gear would an everyday joe need to fight crime in the streets?

Let's make a list, I'll start:

Bulletproof Vest
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Postby tapehead on Fri Mar 03, 2006 2:19 am

a goddamn jet pack!
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Postby Chairman Kaga on Fri Mar 03, 2006 2:21 am

AIDS Juice.
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Postby Fievel on Fri Mar 03, 2006 2:32 am

Scariest...... thread....... yet
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Postby El Scorcho on Fri Mar 03, 2006 2:34 am

Shotgun
Running shoes
A HUGE penis
David Hasselhoff
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Postby Chairman Kaga on Fri Mar 03, 2006 2:45 am

Your last two entries are redundant Scorcho...
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Postby Seppuku on Fri Mar 03, 2006 2:47 am

    An acme-brand grappling hook

    A voicebox because your throat got ripped out in that battle-to-the-death with The Salamander.

    A hat with gorgeous flowing blonde locks stuck to the sides to make you look like a surfer gal if you find yourself cornered.

    A de-molecularizer pistol (grafted onto your left hand).

    A music system thingamebob that can play over a thousand songs from its harddrive!

    A magic cane imbued with the soul of Richard Pryor: "Man, whitey's always gotta be leanin on me all the time".
Dale Tremont Presents...

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Postby tapehead on Fri Mar 03, 2006 3:34 am

a big electric cattle prodder
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Postby Pudie on Fri Mar 03, 2006 4:13 am

K Y Jelly
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Postby Lady Sheridan on Fri Mar 03, 2006 4:13 am

A bulletproof vest, some good shoes and two Desert Eagles, with plenty of ammo.

A knife, just in case you run out of ammo.

And a cell phone, to call the morgue.

A car with bulletproof windows.
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Postby Pudie on Fri Mar 03, 2006 4:14 am

A butler
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Postby colonel_lugz on Fri Mar 03, 2006 4:21 am

A comical sidekick
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Postby Nachokoolaid on Fri Mar 03, 2006 4:54 am

A cape.
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Postby Leckomaniac on Fri Mar 03, 2006 4:57 am

A tragic past to motivate him/her.
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Postby Pacino86845 on Fri Mar 03, 2006 8:16 am

A snazzy pink costume, to better confuse the world's villainy!
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Postby Al Shut on Fri Mar 03, 2006 8:21 am

Hey I Have all of that. My crimefighting career can start tonight.

Criminals be afraid!
Note to myself: Fix this image shit!
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Postby Leckomaniac on Fri Mar 03, 2006 8:26 am

Well I have all the necessary requirements for a super-villain...so be prepared Al_Shut...you may have just met your match.
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Postby Al Shut on Fri Mar 03, 2006 8:34 am

Leckomaniac wrote:Well I have all the necessary requirements for a super-villain...so be prepared Al_Shut...you may have just met your match.


Your the first super villain I met. This means from now on your are my archenemy. I hope you are up for the job.
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Postby Leckomaniac on Fri Mar 03, 2006 8:38 am

I am so up for the job...consider it on like donkey kong. You sir, are going down.
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Postby havocSchultz on Fri Mar 03, 2006 9:38 am

i would need to find this guy: Image

because he has stolen my "Quilt of Eternal Warmth" and is now using it for his evil ways...
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Postby so sorry on Fri Mar 03, 2006 9:40 am

you also need impossibly cut muscles (for the gents) or rediculously perfect breasts (for the ladies).


and a guttenpackage (for either)
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Oh Yeah

Postby tstreet on Fri Mar 03, 2006 9:44 am

A cape of course. Everyone needs one of those to fight crime properly.
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Postby colonel_lugz on Fri Mar 03, 2006 12:17 pm

A Nemesis
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Postby tfactor on Fri Mar 03, 2006 12:24 pm

You'll need some aluminum foil, an ice pick and a snorkel

and this is just to get stoned enough to go out in public wearing tights
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Postby AtomicHyperbole on Fri Mar 03, 2006 12:26 pm

havocSchultz wrote:i would need to find this guy: Image

because he has stolen my "Quilt of Eternal Warmth" and is now using it for his evil ways...


Hah, my Throw of Infinite Hotness has a +1 on extra bonus comfort.
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Postby havocSchultz on Fri Mar 03, 2006 12:29 pm

AtomicHyperbole wrote:
havocSchultz wrote:i would need to find this guy: Image

because he has stolen my "Quilt of Eternal Warmth" and is now using it for his evil ways...


Hah, my Throw of Infinite Hotness has a +1 on extra bonus comfort.


ahhh - but mine was made by the "Grandmother of Forever Shadow" - as opposed to yours - which was purchased (only slightly used) by some dude in a Seedy Movie theatre...
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Postby AtomicHyperbole on Fri Mar 03, 2006 12:32 pm

AH! THAT would explain the Shiny Stains of Enjoyment. I knew something was up with that.

Still, got a +10 on STD's with mine.
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Postby havocSchultz on Fri Mar 03, 2006 12:34 pm

AtomicHyperbole wrote:
Still, got a +10 on STD's with mine.


that's what the doctor said about me after my last physical...
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Postby AtomicHyperbole on Fri Mar 03, 2006 12:36 pm

... you sure that's not what he said TO you after touching you in places most women only have nightmares about?

ZING!
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Postby havocSchultz on Fri Mar 03, 2006 12:37 pm

AtomicHyperbole wrote:
ZING!


that's what your mom said when she touched me in places most women only have day-mares about...

i also think you need a good dry-cool wit in order to be a superhero...
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Postby AtomicHyperbole on Fri Mar 03, 2006 12:39 pm

You also need a really good local dry-cleaner, and a good sewing kit. A thermos for those long lonely nights, maybe a magazine, y'know the kind... some extra kleenex... maybe a thick scarf for when it gets cold...
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Postby AtomicHyperbole on Fri Mar 03, 2006 12:53 pm

Based on that, here's what a Superhero may actually look like in real life. Kinda like a bulky trainspotter/pervert.

Image

Note thick gloves, bobble hat, umbrella in case of rain. This guy doesn't have super vision so he uses binoculars. Quilt just out of shot.

So next time you assault a homeless tramp, think again. You may be doing society a disservice.
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Postby tfactor on Fri Mar 03, 2006 12:55 pm

lightsaber
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Postby havocSchultz on Fri Mar 03, 2006 1:02 pm

And a real cool theme/entrance song - that you can have your buddy blasting off your old ghetto blaster - he'l always be "hidden" only a couple of steps behind you - holding the blaster like that cusack dude in that movie where he held up that ghetto blaster...

something that begs the question: "Who you gonna call?" or something to that effect...
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Postby MiltonWaddams on Fri Mar 03, 2006 1:25 pm

I've always wanted to use the hook on a crowbar to go in through a zombie's eye, down through the roof of his mouth, then I'd pull and all of the bone would break and his insides would pour out.

This does not work with your average hobo. I found that out the hard way.

Reguardless, crowbar always gets my vote. I love you, crowbar.
Urer yvrf Z.J.
Xvyyrq ol ungr naq vafvqr wbxrf.
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Postby Al Shut on Sat Mar 04, 2006 10:03 am

Of course you need a cool secret hideout.

I have to find one myself, my parents' basement definetly isn't cool enough.
Note to myself: Fix this image shit!
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Postby Leckomaniac on Sat Mar 04, 2006 10:10 am

Hey Atomic that was a heck of a drawing...you must rock the animation world.

Can you give us any hints as to where we might have seen your work?
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Postby AtomicHyperbole on Sat Mar 04, 2006 10:17 am

It's not a great drawing at all, but hey! It was done and scanned in ten minutes. I doubt you've seen my work, though. I work in the little known world British television animation, but I've done stuff for Cosgrove Hall, a bit of Nick, Telemagination, Cartoon Network, BBC et al.
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Postby Leckomaniac on Sat Mar 04, 2006 10:19 am

Well trust me it is a better drawing then I can do...

wait...so um...the British...they have TV??? and animation???

Who knew?
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Postby AtomicHyperbole on Sat Mar 04, 2006 10:28 am

Yes. We also have milk and lots of chives. :P
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