Hollywood has OFFICIALLY run out of ideas

[Cpt Kirks 2pay]

WTF!??!?!?!?!

Get the Fuck outta here!!!!! You're joking mate. Thought John Woo had gone back to Hong Kong movie college to learn how to make films again anyway.

Terminator 4 I can do with. Only that it should have been Terminator 2 or 3 really. The War of The Machines would make a great film and you would have thought they would have made this ages ago. Instead they just rehashed the first film again and again.

Austin Powers is an unfunny gentleman and should now die, just like all the prats in the street doing crappy impersonations of him, that ceased to be funny ever since.... that ceased to be funny when people had... that ceased to be funny since the day that.... Face it Austin Powers and all the idiots that impersonated him was NEVER that funny in the first place. Sometimes I wish Mike Myers would just Fuck Off!!!!

[Eric G]

Unfortunatley not......

I just posted another news item at Fi-Sci.net about John Woo taking on the video game "Spy Hunters" and adapting that to film.....which will star Doom's own, Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson! That's headed for Summer 2006 and He-man is still in the "Announced" stage, but should start happening sometime in 2006.

I fully agree with you on Austin Powers....Mike Myers needs to crawl under some decrepit rock and never show his face again. Did you hear he will be playing The Who's drummer, in a biopic on the band? Could you imagine it? Mike Myers playing a serious role? again!? You might of thought he learnt from that FUCKING CRAP movie 52...or 54....or whatever the hell it was!

[Cpt Kirks 2pay]

Why hasn't The Rock become the Action Star that he's surely destined to be yet?

Mike Myers might be better in a serious role rather than a comic one, considering his tendency to be quite annoying a good deal of the time in his comedies, and if he milks his Scottish accent one more time I'll stick a Braveheart axe through him. But maybe I'm being too much of a miserable old git too much.

Hardly anything in Austin Powers was that funny though, just OK light entertainment. But I don't blame my mate for walking out of it half way through.

He was OK in 54. Nearly as good as Salma Hayek and her great fit dancing bod and lovely breasts. Salma Hayek Mmmmmmmmmmm, Salma Hayek, Google search, Salma Hayek Freeones search, Salma Hayek Celebritywonder search, Mmmmmmmmmmmm.

MUST!!!


FIGHT!!!!!!

THE


TEMP

TATION!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Eric G]

I just don't find Myers to be funny at all. I think I may have only watched 30 minutes....possibly 45 minutes of the first Austin Powers movie before I tried to dig my eyes out of my skull with a blunt spoon.


.....Now Salma Hayek....Oh yes. A very well put together woman. Body like BLAM, and titties like POW, and an ass like BAM!


Must.....

fight.....

the urge.....

[Flumm]

*...in a Peter Cook / Devil from Bedazzled type voice...*

Ohh but kirk! Who could blame you?

She is so aaaaawwwfully... what's the word..?






...bendy?

[Eric G]

GREAT BEARD OF THOR!

[Cpt Kirks 2pay]

How many Salma Hayek Freeones Galleries did you go through to find that geezer? Thousands me thinks. Bet you had a great time looking though.

It looks like she's a Living Doll that the blokes putting together limb by limb, doesn't she?

Pic 1. Snap Left leg in from behind. Crank it backwards till you here a clicking sound. If you hear a snapping sound, discard doll into the ocean and let the Sharks have her. Return Proof of Purchase for a Carla Gugino Doll.

Pic 2. Push back Left Leg as far as it can go to ensure maximum flexibility until you hear a screaming sound, or a bone bursting through the under thigh is visible.

Pic 3. Don't do this. Just don't do it. If you do this, then you must be a few ships short of a fleet. What practical reason would you do this for? You've paid 25 bucks for this doll, why are you trying to break it? Why are you still looking at this picture? Move on you Bumbrain.

Pic 4. Your Doll is now complete and ready to pleasure you. When you are finished playing, don't forget to invite your friends to join in for multiplayer fun.

For ages 10 and Up.

[Flumm]

ROFL

Yeah, bendy is most definately teh word.

I clicked a piccy from the first/second google image search... and it was in the same gallery... and it was so laboriousy boring tbh. One gets over so sick of perfect examples of the female form, we are so over drenched with that stuff from the media, it is all commercialist propaganda really....

ahem ...am I fooling anybody?

Anyway, there was me thinking you had seen the picture, and "retired for the night" Kirk. Turns out you were typing out a long humorous reply... oh how I have underestimate you young Cpt Kirks 2pay. Forgive me.

[Cpt Kirks 2pay]

there was me thinking you had seen the picture, and "retired for the night" Kirk.

Refer to Night Night Zoners. Thanks for the present dude.

[ThisIsTheGirl]

There's an hysterical, probably apocryphal, from the '80s about a rising young writer who manages to get a meeting with a fairly big producer. He's told the producer that his new idea should go huge, because the public is familiar with the background story.

Okay, the producer says, give it to me.

We'll do "The Wiz," says the writer, but white!

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

That is brilliant, dennis - and I bet it's true!

[Man-in-the-Box]

No body has mentioned John Woo's "He-Man" ...... because the first one was such a great success, they just had to make a second one! *ahem*

ummm...how about Terminator 4? Or True Lies 2? Or Austin Powers 4? What's next!? Hellboy 2, DareDevil 2? Gimmie a break!

A remake huh? Now there's an idea. http://tinyurl.com/996lh

[Pacino86845]

"Welcome to the Gimme A Break Online, devoted to the classic 1981-1987 NBC sitcom starring Nell Carter, Dolph Sweet, Kari Michaelson, Lauri Hendler, Lara Jill Miller, Howard Morton, John Hoyt, Jane Dulo, Pete Schrum, Joey Lawrence, Telma Hopkins, Jonathan Silverman, Matthew Lawrence, Paul Sand, Rosetta LeNoire, and Rosie O'Donnell.

Gimme A Break Online - all Gimme A Break, all the time... "

[vicious_bastard]

NOOOO!!! I just heard that they are remaking The Warriors. Even Tony Scott directing doesn't lessen my horror.

[ThisIsTheGirl]

It does seem totally pointless, eh? I think there are more valid reasons for remaking <i>Oldboy</i>, than <i>Warriors</i> - and that is saying something.

[burlivesleftnut]

DinoDeLaurentiis Are you situated in Italy at the moment? My sister is there....has been for months now. She's doing a 3 year round trip of Europe.
My home island is not far from yours that little bit that broke off of Sicily... they call Malta? Do you know it?

You call it Malta... we call it Monster Island.

[DinoDeLaurentiis]

DinoDeLaurentiis Are you situated in Italy at the moment? My sister is there....has been for months now. She's doing a 3 year round trip of Europe.

HOLY CRAPPA! I dinna even a make a the connection before... Erica G? She's a your sister?? That coked-out whore inna Dave Duchovny's cabana? I swear onna my childrens' eyes, I dinna know she was a your sister...

[DinoDeLaurentiis]

You call it Malta... we call it Monster Island.

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHHAAHA!!!!

IPAMPI-FREAKING-LASH!!!!!

[burlivesleftnut]

Thanks! I'll be here all day!

[DinoDeLaurentiis]

Okay okay.... a bit of a the clarification here, eh?

So it turns out... Erica G, she is a NOT Eric G's sister, eh? It's a just a the coincidence inna the names. I donna know Eric G's sister, I've a never met Eric G's sister, anna she's a never been to a the villa. The Erica G inna Duchovny's cabana, she IS a the coked-out whore, but she seems like a the nice kid otherwise...

...Duchovny onna the other hand, he's inna to a some sick shizzle, iffa you know what I mean, eh? Hehehe... you like a the "shizzle?" I picked that uppa from a the Snoop Dogg when he was a here last month, eh? Holy crappa I could not understand a the goddamn thing that boy was a saying, eh? But I like a what I was a hearing...heheh...

Come a to think about it, I think it was a the Snoop Dogg who brought Erica G to a the villa, eh? After he left, she stay around unna 'til Duchovny, he show up anna move inna to a her cabana...

Holy crappa I gotta pay more attention to a the security tapes, eh? I got people coming anna going anna I donna even a know what else...

[ThisIsTheGirl]

Okay okay.... a bit of a the clarification here, eh?

So it turns out... Erica G, she is a NOT Eric G's sister, eh? It's a just a the coincidence inna the names. I donna know Eric G's sister, I've a never met Eric G's sister, anna she's a never been to a the villa. The Erica G inna Duchovny's cabana, she IS a the coked-out whore, but she seems like a the nice kid otherwise...

...Duchovny onna the other hand, he's inna to a some sick shizzle, iffa you know what I mean, eh? Hehehe... you like a the "shizzle?" I picked that uppa from a the Snoop Dogg when he was a here last month, eh? Holy crappa I could not understand a the goddamn thing that boy was a saying, eh? But I like a what I was a hearing...heheh...

Come a to think about it, I think it was a the Snoop Dogg who brought Erica G to a the villa, eh? After he left, she stay around unna 'til Duchovny, he show up anna move inna to a her cabana...

Holy crappa I gotta pay more attention to a the security tapes, eh? I got people coming anna going anna I donna even a know what else...

I'm pampilashing, as ever.

Your use of "shizzle" is almost amusing as your use of "prolly"......

[Pacino86845]

Dino's setting things right in the Zone. Order has been restored, bitches! Baby got back, unnnnggghh! I'm still reeling from the Jenna Von Oy pic.

[DinoDeLaurentiis]

I'm still reeling from the Jenna Von Oy pic.

Waitaminnit... what did a the Dino miss, eh?

[Pacino86845]

Alonzo got banned from the main site:
http://wooderson.aintitcool.com/viewtop ... highlight=

EDIT: Made a small correction... Herc's- no, actually, it was Jenna Von Oy's fault this time.

[ThisIsTheGirl]

Can we please stop talking about her????? I hated her wonky-conked face 10 years ago - all I feel for her now is utter contempt!

[vicious_bastard]

Can we please stop talking about her????? I hated her wonky-conked face 10 years ago - all I feel for her now is utter contempt!

No way, asswipe. She still works - clearly deserves her own thread.

[Pacino86845]

Can we please stop talking about her????? I hated her wonky-conked face 10 years ago - all I feel for her now is utter contempt!

Ah, yet another "But 'er face" gets hated on.

[Eric G]

Because there isn't enough insperation elsewhere, some genius thought it would be a great idea to adapt the XBOX game "Hitman" .

Keeping with this trend, FOX has recently added a couple new members to their crew for the adaptation of the best-selling PC game Hitman.

Hitman Crew Grows
According to Variety, Fox has picked up Skip Woods (Swordfish) to adapt its feature version of the video game Hitman. But who to play the bald-headed specialist? Hmm... decisions. What actor is known for action/adventure films and is bald like the character in the video game? Decisions, decisions. Wait a sec! How about Vin Diesel!

That is correct, Vin Diesel is on the top of a short list to play the international assassin, known as Agent 47, who works for a mysterious org dubbed the Agency.


Fox's move for Hitman has further confirmed that video game adaptations may be the next big thing behind comic books and novels, with the studio already throwing support for another video game adaptation title, Halo. Joining up with Universal, Fox has already received media attention for the project by picking up Peter Jackson [Lord of the Rings, King Kong] to step in as executive producer; a move that could mean he is in a position to direct as well.

The first three games in the Hitman gaming franchise have sold more than 5 million units. Therefore, Fox will attempt to follow suit by creating an entire film franchise on the series.

[Eric G]

Yet another comic book adaption....this one I've never heard of, but the only thing goin for it, is a hotty in tight skimpy leather! On the other hand....she is a devout christian....eh...what you gonna do!?

Magdalena: A New Sci Fi for Bad Ass Christians? Aeon Flux hasn't even bombed yet and there thinking of doing this!? Great. More shit to look forward to.
Check out the story: http://www.fi-sci.net/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=425&Itemid=44

[Brocktune]

Because there isn't enough insperation elsewhere, some genius thought it would be a great idea to adapt the XBOX game "Hitman" .

Keeping with this trend, FOX has recently added a couple new members to their crew for the adaptation of the best-selling PC game Hitman.

Hitman Crew Grows
According to Variety, Fox has picked up Skip Woods (Swordfish) to adapt its feature version of the video game Hitman. But who to play the bald-headed specialist? Hmm... decisions. What actor is known for action/adventure films and is bald like the character in the video game? Decisions, decisions. Wait a sec! How about Vin Diesel!

That is correct, Vin Diesel is on the top of a short list to play the international assassin, known as Agent 47, who works for a mysterious org dubbed the Agency.


Fox's move for Hitman has further confirmed that video game adaptations may be the next big thing behind comic books and novels, with the studio already throwing support for another video game adaptation title, Halo. Joining up with Universal, Fox has already received media attention for the project by picking up Peter Jackson [Lord of the Rings, King Kong] to step in as executive producer; a move that could mean he is in a position to direct as well.

The first three games in the Hitman gaming franchise have sold more than 5 million units. Therefore, Fox will attempt to follow suit by creating an entire film franchise on the series.

why dont they just have some kid who works at the theater just play hitman on the big screen for 2 hours, and charge us 10 bucks to see it. it may be unconventional, but it cant be worse than watching vin diesel.

[Eric G]

why dont they just have some kid who works at the theater just play hitman on the big screen for 2 hours, and charge us 10 bucks to see it. it may be unconventional, but it cant be worse than watching vin diesel.

I take it you didn't enjoy Pitch Black & Chronicles then?

[Brocktune]

am i that transparent?
vin diesel reminds me of a bald rocky balboa, still groggy from the knockout.

[TheButcher]

From MTV:
Fourth 'Austin Powers' Movie Will Go 'Somewhere You Haven't Thought Of,' Jay Roach Says

[Seppuku]

Fourth 'Austin Powers' Movie Will Go 'Somewhere You Haven't Thought Of,' Jay Roach Says

Straight to DVD?

[Fievel]

From MTV:
Fourth 'Austin Powers' Movie Will Go 'Somewhere You Haven't Though Of,' Jay Roach Says

I laughed watching all three of those movies. A fourth couldn't hurt.
Although I'd rather see Myers return to less outrageous roles. I think his best work was in 54, Mystery Alaska, and Inglorious Basterds.

[The Vicar]

Fourth 'Austin Powers' Movie Will Go 'Somewhere You Haven't Thought Of,' Jay Roach Says

Straight to DVD?

Straight into a dumpster?

Four Austin Powers and four Shreks and two Wayne's Worlds.......honestly, dude, diversify.
Basterds was a nice turn, but Meyer's resume is heavily weighted towards repetition.

[Peven]

Fourth 'Austin Powers' Movie Will Go 'Somewhere You Haven't Thought Of,' Jay Roach Says

Straight to DVD?

Straight into a dumpster?

Four Austin Powers and four Shreks and two Wayne's Worlds.......honestly, dude, diversify.
Basterds was a nice turn, but Meyer's resume is heavily weighted towards repetition.

who wouldn't keep repeating if they kept getting paid what Meyer's pulls down for those Shrek and Powers movies, i can just see someone now, "no thank you, i'd rather not bank that $30 million, and get to have a lot of say in how things are done, no, i think i'd rather go work on a film where i get paid much less along with having much less control".

then again, i don't think the world is being cheated out of any kind of special acting performances with him tied up with those flicks anyway

[TheBaxter]

Fourth 'Austin Powers' Movie Will Go 'Somewhere You Haven't Thought Of,' Jay Roach Says

Straight to DVD?

Straight into a dumpster?

the last one already went there. or maybe i'm thinking of the toilet.

[Tyrone_Shoelaces]

Nice non-answer there Jay, may as well have said, "Fuck if I know, Mike hasn't said shit to me."

[Cpt Kirks 2pay]

Fourth 'Austin Powers' Movie Will Go 'Somewhere You Haven't Thought Of,' Jay Roach Says

Straight to DVD?

Straight into a dumpster?

Four Austin Powers and four Shreks and two Wayne's Worlds.......honestly, dude, diversify.
Basterds was a nice turn, but Meyer's resume is heavily weighted towards repetition.

who wouldn't keep repeating if they kept getting paid what Meyer's pulls down for those Shrek and Powers movies, i can just see someone now, "no thank you, i'd rather not bank that $30 million, and get to have a lot of say in how things are done, no, i think i'd rather go work on a film where i get paid much less along with having much less control".

Yeah well that comment pretty much sums up the whole world of unoriginality in Hollywood and their cloning of previous material over and over. Yeah there's a certain rationale to WHY THOSE people keep doing it and I see the reason - from THEIR point of view.

But the flipside to making movies is that it's not the POV of the movie makers WE are concerned about, we're the other side, the movie WATCHERS and we have our own POV that is actually MORE important, as we're the consumers who pay those guys.

And OUR POV is that we think those rehashed unoriginal movies are crap and represent artistic unintegrity or no matter how good they are they still shouldn't be done as we've seen it all before and we simply don't wanna see them anymore 'cos of these reasons and therefore we won't and we'll never give them huge audiences creating millions of dollars of profit for them every time they release these mov...... oh I see your point now as to why these movies make so much money and why these guys earn so much - it's cos US guys fall for the same trick every time despite our complaints.

YOU WIN! PEVEN!!! As your prize a copy of the Award Winning Walter and the Tigers is on it's way in the post to you RIGHT NOW!!!

[TheBaxter]

YOU WIN! PEVEN!!! As your prize a copy of the Award Winning Walter and the Tigers is on it's way in the post to you RIGHT NOW!!!

personally, i'd wait for the remake.

[TheButcher]

The 'Wayne's World' SNL Reunion Has Us Craving Another Sequel

[Cpt Kirks 2pay]

The 'Wayne's World' SNL Reunion Has Us Craving Another Sequel

And we'd all watch, and pay to make it profit. I love the title of this thread. We may complain about it, but we'll still see it.

[TheButcher]

Hollywood's toy chest - TV, pix key to biz for Hasbro, Mattel

Don't expect toymakers to pack up their playthings and leave Hollywood any time soon.

Hasbro on Monday hyped the growth of its kids TV network the Hub, upcoming summer sequel "Transformers: Dark of the Moon" and tie-ins to "Thor" and "Captain America: The First Avenger" as key drivers to its bottom line this year after the lack of new movie-related product dragged down earnings in 2010.

Mattel also heralded film properties -- including licenses to "Cars 2" and "Green Lantern" -- as a bright spot to its year as the world's largest toy company reported earnings last week.

Company said it may produce a live-action musical feature adaptation of its Monster High toy line for 2012. The Monster High dolls, which bowed last summer, are the kids or other relatives of such classic Universal monsters as Dracula, Frankenstein and the Wolfman. Mattel also has pics based on Barbie and Major Matt Mason set up at U.

Although Hasbro's profits were up 6% to $375 million last year, sales fell slightly to $4 billion from $4.07 billion.

During the fourth quarter -- the peak holiday shopping period, when more than a third of toymakers' sales are typically generated -- sales were off by 7% to $1.28 billion, which caused profits to drop 15% to $140 million.

About 40% of its sales are earned in North America, but the fourth quarter was the first time Hasbro saw international revenue top sales in the U.S. and Canada.

Either way, sales in the boys category fell 34% to $239 million during the quarter, compared to 2009, when pics like the Hasbro-produced "Transformers" and "G.I. Joe" played at the box office or on homevideo and spun off a line of action figures that filled store shelves.

The girls' side, behind such brands as My Little Pony, held steady at $133 million. Games and puzzles (including Monopoly, Battleship, Scrabble and Life) rose 22% to $262 million, while the preschool category climbed 32% to nearly $104 million.

Hasbro chief Brian Goldner was upbeat on the Hub's growth this year, its first full year on the air as a co-venture with Discovery Communications. Channel bowed in October with 50 advertisers; it now has 80. Ratings are also up month-to-month. "We understand we have ratings that are building over time," Goldner said.

Costs to launch the channel, however, dragged down profits.

Overall, Mattel's earnings during its end-of-the-year quarter dipped 1% to $325 million. Revenue was up 9% to $2.1 billion. For 2010, Mattel reported a nearly 30% boost in profits of $685 million from an 8% increase in sales of nearly $5.9 billion.

Mattel's Barbie, American Girl and Monster High doll lines were key sellers, as was Fisher-Price and its license with World Wrestling Entertainment. Barbie's Ken turns 50 this year and is the focus of the new reality series, "Genuine Ken: The Search for the Great American Boyfriend."

Mattel will pony up considerable coin to continue battling an ongoing copyright infringement case against MGA over ownership of the Bratz doll brand.

[TheButcher]

Keck's Exclusives:
James Franco as Jack Tripper?

After having fun at the Sundance Film Fest with a Three's Company-themed art installation, unpredictable Oscar host and Lead Actor nominee James Franco is getting more serious about plans for his favorite '70s sitcom.

"When we were accepted to Sundance, we didn't have the series rights, but then the Three's Company estate contacted us," James reports. "At first they were opposed to it, but then they saw what we did (a startling dramatic take) and loved it. So they are now talking to us about developing a Three's Company feature film and an off-Broadway play."

While Franco's art project cast his assistant as Janet and a bearded man as Chrissy, I'm picturing Zooey Deschanel as Janet and SNL's Kristen Wiig as Chrissy jiggling it up alongside James' Jack Tripper.

[TheBaxter]

Keck's Exclusives:
James Franco as Jack Tripper?

After having fun at the Sundance Film Fest with a Three's Company-themed art installation, unpredictable Oscar host and Lead Actor nominee James Franco is getting more serious about plans for his favorite '70s sitcom.

"When we were accepted to Sundance, we didn't have the series rights, but then the Three's Company estate contacted us," James reports. "At first they were opposed to it, but then they saw what we did (a startling dramatic take) and loved it. So they are now talking to us about developing a Three's Company feature film and an off-Broadway play."

While Franco's art project cast his assistant as Janet and a bearded man as Chrissy, I'm picturing Zooey Deschanel as Janet and SNL's Kristen Wiig as Chrissy jiggling it up alongside James' Jack Tripper.

a startling dramatic take? on three's company? shirley you can't be serious.

[Peven]

I'm still waiting for my copy of "Walter and the Tigers" to arrive in the mail......I am guessing Kirk's tried to use tiny pictures of himself as stamps.....again

[avp]

80's He-Man was teerrrrible,

All I can find is fake trailers for the new one. Anyone have anything solid I can watch?

[Hermanator X]

80's He-Man was teerrrrible,

All I can find is fake trailers for the new one. Anyone have anything solid I can watch?

Certainly!

[so sorry]

Keck's Exclusives:
James Franco as Jack Tripper?

After having fun at the Sundance Film Fest with a Three's Company-themed art installation, unpredictable Oscar host and Lead Actor nominee James Franco is getting more serious about plans for his favorite '70s sitcom.

"When we were accepted to Sundance, we didn't have the series rights, but then the Three's Company estate contacted us," James reports. "At first they were opposed to it, but then they saw what we did (a startling dramatic take) and loved it. So they are now talking to us about developing a Three's Company feature film and an off-Broadway play."

While Franco's art project cast his assistant as Janet and a bearded man as Chrissy, I'm picturing Zooey Deschanel as Janet and SNL's Kristen Wiig as Chrissy jiggling it up alongside James' Jack Tripper.

a startling dramatic take? on three's company? shirley you can't be serious.

Kristin Wiig as Chrissy? No offense, but not nearly pretty enough.

[Cpt Kirks 2pay]

I'm still waiting for my copy of "Walter and the Tigers" to arrive in the mail......I am guessing Kirk's tried to use tiny pictures of himself as stamps.....again

Didn't we discuss this and I sent it? It not turn up yet?