Raping Kubrick's Corpse

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Raping Kubrick's Corpse

Postby Brocktune on Fri Aug 26, 2005 11:19 pm

you know, i love zombie movies. i guess one of the reasons is that the fear of the dead somehow reanimating and coming back to life to seek revenge on the living is, in the back of my mind, somewhat plausible. (i know, im a moron). but if there was ever a time that i wished a corpse would come back to life and seek revenge on the living, that time is now. I had to post about this immediately, as i was super pissed off to see it.
What i am referring to is a commercial i just saw that uses cgi and digital editing to basically turn the "I'm Spartacus" sequence of Kubrick's immortal "Spartacus" into a fucking pepsi commercial. Maybe i am alone here in my obsession with kubrick and my loathing of advertising in general, but my offense at the raping of a classic is off the fucking richter right now. Why not just dig up the rotting remains of Kirk Douglas and Kubrick himself and stuff pepsi cans into their cold dead hands. As if hollywood doesnt churn out enough garbage that catches on with the fickle masses that they could use to sling their crap. maybe they figured: well, all hollywood movies are just all giant commercials nowadays anyway, how can we desecrate movies that are (gasp) advertising free. Kubrick is dead right? good, then nobody will care. whoever is responsible for this advertising campaign, i hope you fucking drop the fuck dead! to whatever cocksucker sold pepsi the rights to do this, i hope you live to see your children die slowly and painfully. what next? Kikuchiyo and Gorobei in ads for Yoshinoya or Panda Express? Perhaps Brando and Caan for the Olive Garden. why stop there? why dont you just go to paris and take a fucking dump on the Mona Lisa while you are at it? Advertising is way out of fucking hand these days, particularly where movies are concerned. hollywoods approach to advertising is more blatant than G.W.B.'s hackneyed WMDs scheme. i may never drink another pepsi again. Lord, please strike me down if i have to sit through another episode of "The Twenty". sorry to vent, but i figured if there is anybody on this planet nerdy enough to actually give a shit (in addition to me) that this was the place. also, if my rage seems a little disjointed, or unfocused, i am sorry too, its just....well... im choking on my own rage here. i just get so fucking angry when people and things i give a shit about are maligned, and sabotaged because some c.u.n.t. in a suit thinks that there arent enough people in the world who know what the fuck pepsi is.
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Postby wonkabar on Fri Aug 26, 2005 11:26 pm

Kirk Douglas is dead?
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Re: Raping Kubrick's Corpse

Postby Adam Balm on Fri Aug 26, 2005 11:29 pm

Brocktune wrote: Maybe i am alone here in my obsession with kubrick


I think it's safe to say that if previous threads are any indicator, half the board is obsessed with Kubrick.
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Postby wonkabar on Fri Aug 26, 2005 11:31 pm

I want to dig him up and fuck his bones.
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Postby Adam Balm on Fri Aug 26, 2005 11:33 pm

What do you think, if Kubrick were alive today, Mac or PC?
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Postby wonkabar on Fri Aug 26, 2005 11:45 pm

Something tells me he would go Mac.
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Postby Adam Balm on Fri Aug 26, 2005 11:53 pm

I was thinking the same thing...
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Postby TheBaxter on Sat Aug 27, 2005 12:01 am

wonkabar wrote:I want to dig him up and fuck his bones.


sounds fun. where do i sign up?
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Postby Brocktune on Sat Aug 27, 2005 12:33 am

wonkabar wrote:Kirk Douglas is dead?

well, if hes not, he might as well be. besides, people automatically have more reverence for dead people, so it helps my argument out if hes dead.
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Postby Brocktune on Sat Aug 27, 2005 12:34 am

wonkabar wrote:I want to dig him up and fuck his bones.

im going to get my band to cover Ween's "booze me up and get me high" and im changing the lyrics to "dig me up and fuck my bones"
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Postby wonkabar on Sat Aug 27, 2005 12:38 am

Brocktune wrote:
wonkabar wrote:I want to dig him up and fuck his bones.

im going to get my band to cover Ween's "booze me up and get me high" and im changing the lyrics to "dig me up and fuck my bones"

good call
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Postby Brocktune on Sat Aug 27, 2005 12:41 am

do you think his corpse was preserved well? i mean do you think it will be only his bones left, or will you be able to grope his decaying man boobs, because his carcass is in such good shape?
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Postby wonkabar on Sat Aug 27, 2005 12:43 am

He probably looks better than Mick Jagger
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Postby Brocktune on Sat Aug 27, 2005 12:46 am

you know...narcotics are the only thing keeping both Mick Jagger and Keith Richards alive. if we were to cut off thier supply somehow, we could then fuck their bones as well.
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Postby Agent Alonzo on Sat Aug 27, 2005 12:53 am

You people are sick...
I am going to go back to making sculptures from freshly slaughtered hobos...
alonzo..... my apologies you ho-bag! - banthafodderUK

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Postby Tyrone_Shoelaces on Sat Aug 27, 2005 12:53 am

Adam Balm wrote:What do you think, if Kubrick were alive today, Mac or PC?


Manual typewriter.
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Postby WinslowLeach on Sat Aug 27, 2005 8:11 am

Im not offended by that Spartacus commercial at all. I thought it was pretty funny. Im not a huge Kubrick fan, I like some of his films, but at this point I could care less what they do with his movies. They can take 2001 and turn it into a commercial for Sunny D, I dont give a fluke.
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Postby DennisMM on Sat Aug 27, 2005 12:48 pm

I'm not a huge Kubrick fan, but I respect him greatly.

What I find disturbing is the overall trend to manipulate classic movie images. Fred Astaire dances with an "electric broom," Gene Kelly turns backflips and breakdances. I've seen more, but I'm only half-awake, so they won't come. There was something with John Wayne, wasn't there?

Although I don't have a favorite director, I can imagine other images that would upset me. Think of Richard Dreyfus sculpting a giant can of PepsiZero in his demolished living room or the heroes of "Easy Rider" getting off their bikes, climbing onto the latest Honda scooters and tearing away.

Winslow, no disrepect intended, but it could happen to the directors you greatly admire, too. How about John Travolta and Samuel Jackson talking about how they should have brought beer and walking into a suprise party featuring Michelob instead of the showdown with the punks? Give it enough time and I can imagine some advertising genius wanting that.

They all would piss me off equally, as do the current crop. It's disrespectful to the actors, directors, cinematographers and others who created the originalfilms and demonstrates just how much the studios actually care about the work they claim to lionize.
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Postby Brocktune on Sat Aug 27, 2005 2:09 pm

i couldnt have put it better myself.
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Postby WinslowLeach on Sat Aug 27, 2005 2:16 pm

Theyve already parodied Dogs, Pulp, Kill Bill and several other films I like on TV shows. I dont really have problems with using films for commercial parodies, but I do have a problem with hacks remaking classic films. I actually find that more disrespectful than the commercials.
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Postby bluebottle on Sat Aug 27, 2005 2:24 pm

Agent Alonzo wrote:You people are sick...
I am going to go back to making sculptures from freshly slaughtered hobos...


Oh, Alonzo... I was going to say, "Hey! Those were my hobos!" but, then i realized, there are enough hobo's for everyone!

enjoy!
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Postby Brocktune on Sat Aug 27, 2005 2:27 pm

you have hobos in canada? so it isnt the utopian paradise that i had hoped? damn.
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Postby Adam Balm on Sat Aug 27, 2005 2:32 pm

DennisMM wrote:I'm not a huge Kubrick fan, but I respect him greatly.

What I find disturbing is the overall trend to manipulate classic movie images. Fred Astaire dances with an "electric broom," Gene Kelly turns backflips and breakdances. I've seen more, but I'm only half-awake, so they won't come. There was something with John Wayne, wasn't there?



Yet we laugh our asses off at photoshopped images for the same reason. I don't see the problem in it, it's for shits and giggles. It's a joke. I'd be mad at them seriously fucking with the actual movie itself, recutting Spartacus and not releasing the original. But can we all just lighten up on this?
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Postby lyra belacqua on Sat Aug 27, 2005 2:32 pm

Brocktune wrote:you have hobos in canada? so it isnt the utopian paradise that i had hoped? damn.


Since when does having a surplus of hobo's to practice deviant acts upon not equal utopian paradise?

I'm moving tomorrow.
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Postby WinslowLeach on Sat Aug 27, 2005 2:45 pm

Adam Balm: Exactly. Its like when we mess around with movie posters (see Bluebottles movie topic). Its one thing to make a parody clip from a classic film that everyone knows (how many times has The Godfather been parodied on commercials?) but studios editing the actual film itself in a serious manner or remaking it into a fecal fest is the worst.
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Postby DennisMM on Sat Aug 27, 2005 2:46 pm

Adam Balm wrote:
DennisMM wrote:I'm not a huge Kubrick fan, but I respect him greatly.

What I find disturbing is the overall trend to manipulate classic movie images. Fred Astaire dances with an "electric broom," Gene Kelly turns backflips and breakdances. I've seen more, but I'm only half-awake, so they won't come. There was something with John Wayne, wasn't there?



Yet we laugh our asses off at photoshopped images for the same reason. I don't see the problem in it, it's for shits and giggles. It's a joke. I'd be mad at them seriously fucking with the actual movie itself, recutting Spartacus and not releasing the original. But can we all just lighten up on this?


Gotta disagree, Adam, primarily because the studios are making serious green by licensing the rights to the bent movies. But I'll leave it there.
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Postby Brocktune on Sat Aug 27, 2005 4:40 pm

lyra belacqua wrote:Since when does having a surplus of hobo's to practice deviant acts upon not equal utopian paradise?


i stand corrected.

Adam Balm wrote:Yet we laugh our asses off at photoshopped images for the same reason. I don't see the problem in it, it's for shits and giggles. It's a joke. I'd be mad at them seriously fucking with the actual movie itself, recutting Spartacus and not releasing the original. But can we all just lighten up on this?



perhaps i do overeact. but an intense emotional reaction is always immediate for me. i take that shit way too seriously. but i cant help it. photoshopping an image to make your buddies laugh is totaly different (to me) than corrupting somebody elses art exclusively for the purpose of making money. this is worse than those DeNiro american express ads. at least deniro is alive to make the conscious decision "hey, i want to shill for money"
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Postby WinslowLeach on Sat Aug 27, 2005 4:53 pm

Say 30 years from now Francis Ford Coppola had died and someone took Apocalypse Now and made a Pepsi commercial out of a 20 second clip of it, I think Id be happy that someone was showing the film to a new generation who may have not seen it. To me its all about pop culture. If Kubricks films are popular enough to be used for an advertisement for a pop culture product, shouldnt we be happy? Dont you think people who see that commercial say: What movie is that? Im gonna try to find out. Then they end up watching a Kubrick classic cuz of a Pepsi commercial. Theres alot of ways you can look at this kind of thing. You can be positive or negative. Either way, Kubrick is dead and hes not coming back to protest.
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Postby Brocktune on Sat Aug 27, 2005 4:55 pm

WinslowLeach wrote:Say 30 years from now Francis Ford Coppola had died and someone took Apocalypse Now and made a Pepsi commercial out of a 20 second clip of it, I think Id be happy that someone was showing the film to a new generation who may have not seen it. To me its all about pop culture. If Kubricks films are popular enough to be used for an advertisement for a pop culture product, shouldnt we be happy? Dont you think people who see that commercial say: What movie is that? Im gonna try to find out. Then they end up watching a Kubrick classic cuz of a Pepsi commercial. Theres alot of ways you can look at this kind of thing. You can be positive or negative. Either way, Kubrick is dead and hes not coming back to protest.


touche...i guess
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Postby Keepcoolbutcare on Sat Aug 27, 2005 5:15 pm

Couple of thoughts...

1. You don't like the "raping" of the classics by advertising companies and the networks that pay them...cut your cable, dash your dish. Just don't watch T.V. I haven't had cable for years. Keeps me a bit more even keel 'cuz it was stuff like this that was part of my decision.

2. Brock, I'm guessing your a fan of Bill Hicks? (and if not, you will be)
Well, when he came up with the anyone who's in advertising...kill yourself; when he said anyone who does a commercial is a sucker of satans cock...I was down. Not only was it funny, but I was kind of in agreeement for aren't you selling a bit of your soul (ie. your art) just to further the cycle of consumerism?
But then some musicians who I like started to sell their songs for ads. What was I supposed to do, just start hating them? The line gets further blurred when I found out that some of these bands were doing this just so they can pay the fucking rent. So the choice for them was to either make some cash or break up the band. Tough choice, no?

Oh and "The 20"...I flat out will not go to the multiplex that plays that putrid piece of product placement until I damn well know the previews have started. Nothing, I mean nothing will ruin a good high for me like being forced to watch/listen (yeah, I've tried to not look at the screen when it's on, but you can't tune out the sound) to that shitstorm.
Personally, I'm an atheist in the voting booth and a theist in the movie theatre. I separate the morality of religion with the spirituality and solace of it. There is something boring about atheism.
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Postby Brocktune on Sat Aug 27, 2005 5:42 pm

i totally grok what you are saying. particularly about that band shit. i guess where i draw the line for a band is, if they sell their song to a company to be used in a commercial, its ok, but if they write the song specifically to endorse a product, thats fucked. but then Ween (whom i love) wrote that "Where'd the Cheese Go" for pizza hut, and that was cool. so i am wrong. it sucks, because the older i get, the more complex every issue that i thought was black and white becomes. believe me, i am well aware of my own retardedness on this issue, i just dont know how to control my childish emotions.
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Postby Adam Balm on Sat Aug 27, 2005 5:46 pm

Here's a relevant question: Does anyone know whether or not Kirk Douglas or anyone else in the film is getting paid, as with songs used in commercials? At first I would think no, but I'd be interested in finding out anyway because to me that makes a world of difference.
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Postby Keepcoolbutcare on Sat Aug 27, 2005 5:53 pm

Brocktune wrote: believe me, i am well aware of my own retardedness on this issue, i just dont know how to control my childish emotions.


That's being way too harsh on yourself. When I was f@*cked up last night I had written a rambling rant on how right you were, how fuck 'em all, they all suck satan's cock, Kubrick would never have allowed it, how satan himself won't even take the credit for the 20.

Glad I didn't post it, but I'm down with what your point is.

And Balmy, that's an excellent question.
Personally, I'm an atheist in the voting booth and a theist in the movie theatre. I separate the morality of religion with the spirituality and solace of it. There is something boring about atheism.
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Postby bluebottle on Sat Aug 27, 2005 6:21 pm

i bult my coffee table out of the remains of a hobo... my pillow is stuffed with hobo hair.

jeeze, canada was founded on the backs of the hobos.

i'm surprised you guys didn't know that.

seriously, come to canada, pull up a hobo, and have a beer... brewed by hobos.
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Postby WinslowLeach on Sat Aug 27, 2005 6:26 pm

Id like to see a new commercial for Fanta made with scenes from Citizen Kane next. :)
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Postby TonyWilson on Sat Aug 27, 2005 6:31 pm

I have to say I am a puritan compared to some of you guys. I think it is awful when a art is used out of context for commercial advancement. Actors in adverts or okish I suppose but when a bands music is used in an advert I weep.

A somewhat hardline view I suppose but there you go.
Elitism is positing that your taste is equivalent to quality, you hate "Hamlet" does it make it "bad"? If you think so, you're one elite motherfucker.
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Postby Keepcoolbutcare on Sat Aug 27, 2005 6:48 pm

TonyWilson wrote:I have to say I am a puritan compared to some of you guys. I think it is awful when a art is used out of context for commercial advancement. Actors in adverts or okish I suppose but when a bands music is used in an advert I weep.

A somewhat hardline view I suppose but there you go.


I hear you Tony, but look at this example. The Apples in Stereo (not a great band but a lot of people like them) sold a song JUST SO THEY COULD PAY THE RENT. I mean, should they have folded up as a band or "sold out"? And what does selling out mean nowadays anyways? I used to be a die-hard who only support bands who are on indie labels but I realized how much quality stuff I was missing on the majors.

With age I've realized, like Brocktune, that it is not a simple black/white, good/evil debate. Damn loss of idealism.
Personally, I'm an atheist in the voting booth and a theist in the movie theatre. I separate the morality of religion with the spirituality and solace of it. There is something boring about atheism.
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Postby TonyWilson on Sat Aug 27, 2005 7:29 pm

I don't mind if a band lets a track be used when they are starting out and need the money, but an established band simply doesn't need the money and I do feel that if you respect your art and talent then you shouldn't prostitute yourself for a few EXTRA bucks.
I know there is compromises to be made, but I feel there is a trend towards "selling out" even when you make it.
Elitism is positing that your taste is equivalent to quality, you hate "Hamlet" does it make it "bad"? If you think so, you're one elite motherfucker.
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Postby Brocktune on Sat Aug 27, 2005 8:00 pm

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"yes, i am responsible for rape, corpse rape, murder, veal, spartacus pepsi commercials, g.w. bush, and hillary duff. but The Twenty... come on. thats a little harsh wouldnt you say?"
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Postby John-Locke on Sat Aug 27, 2005 8:03 pm

Ah, so Thats what Herc looks like.
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Postby TonyWilson on Sat Aug 27, 2005 8:05 pm

^ IPAMPILASH x 100
Elitism is positing that your taste is equivalent to quality, you hate "Hamlet" does it make it "bad"? If you think so, you're one elite motherfucker.
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Postby ONeillSG1 on Sat Aug 27, 2005 10:19 pm

You want to talk about raping Kubrick? Let's talk Spielburg's molesting of his ideas for "A.I." and making it into a craptastic conglomeration of chaos.

Steven Spielburg raped Kubrick's idea of the depth of emotional torture the robot was sustaining in "A.I." and put a truly unnecessary, trite and damn near pathetic chase scene in the middle of the film. WTF? Why? I guess the emotional journey of the character wasn't enough of a tribulation. He had to add the express physical "escape" from danger. Obviously, Spielburg felt his audience wasn't sophisticated enough to understand the idea of an internal struggle and felt it completely necessary to show a physical manistfestation of it on film.

God, I wish we could have seen Kubrick's full vision on film.

(looks around)

That is what we are talking about right?
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Postby DinoDeLaurentiis on Mon Aug 29, 2005 9:20 am

Iffa you gonna blame anyone, I suppose a you could a blame a the Kirk Douglas, eh? Not only is a he not a dead yet, he is a the Executive Producer of a the movie, anna it was a produced by a his own company, eh? He controls a the rights anna whatever happens a with it...

To be fair, as a much as a we like a the movie, Kubrik, he disavowed, no? It was a his most hated film, anna he was only a brought on as a the, how you say, "hired gun" as a the director, anna inna those days, the director, he took a the orders from a the boss, the producer. I donna think that Stan ever took a the view that it was a HIS film when a he was alive.
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Postby Pacino86845 on Mon Aug 29, 2005 9:22 am

Dino, why isn't there an Army of Darkness sequel? Aren't you an all-powerful producer, couldn't you make it happen?
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Postby DinoDeLaurentiis on Mon Aug 29, 2005 9:28 am

Everyone a know, I'm good a to go onna the project, Sam, he wanna do it... everythings a ready.

It's a the CHIN who's a holding things uppa, the goddamn prima donna putz! It's alla 'cos of a the Campbell anna his outrageous demands, eh?
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Postby DennisMM on Tue Aug 30, 2005 3:43 pm

DinoDeLaurentiis wrote:Everyone a know, I'm good a to go onna the project, Sam, he wanna do it... everythings a ready.

It's a the CHIN who's a holding things uppa, the goddamn prima donna putz! It's alla 'cos of a the Campbell anna his outrageous demands, eh?


I hear he wants to do "Man With the Screaming Brain" first, and that's not even chin-involved!
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Postby ONeillSG1 on Tue Aug 30, 2005 5:18 pm

DennisMM wrote:I hear he wants to do "Man With the Screaming Brain" first, and that's not even chin-involved!


Premieres on the Sci-Fi Channel this Saturday or Next (9/3 or 9/10).
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