What have you been watching? (DVD or Films on TV)

[Cpt Kirks 2pay]

The whole ending was just fucked backwards.

See that bad guy - yes, that's the one, the guy we've spent 90 minutes gearing you towards hating - we're going to give him a halfway noble way out. Oh shit, hang on a minute, we've still got a story to resolve and now the audience don't hate the evil dude. Hangonaminute - you know that cowering simp? The one that we portrayed, halfway sympathetically, as mistrusting the main bad guy? Let's give his character a quick 180 reversal - now he's the bad guy! GENIUS!

Now tell casting to get those ENT rejects from LOTR, as well as the Poseidon that made Harryhausen weep, and let's roll those cameras!

Is that what happened? So unmemorable I can't... remember.

Not to mention the 'press the red button for an instant win whenever you feel like it' clause, and 'get out of Jail Free card' by simply asking Aslan to sort shit out whenever the good guys are losing. So you know, even when the good guys get beaten, they still are gonna win just like that anyway.

How's THAT for tension!!!!?????

I imagine him standing at the other side of that bridge, whispering aside

"Watch this shit - I picked it up from some elven chick I met at the Prancing Pony"

Then, as the minions charge shouting "For Frodo!", him shouting at them "That's 'ASLAN', you Struggling Background Artists....."

Oh dear.

Um.. I don't get it! Sorry, Doc!

[Doc Holliday]

No wonder the remaining novels might not make it t screen.

Voyage of the Dawn Treader is still going to be made,I think.
Just not by Disney.
Fox bought the rights if I recall.

Yeah that's right. Though the present movies sure have fumbled the potential for these movies to last out, eh? In short, Superman Returns, this IS!

What's that? A franchise destined to fail? James Marsden is reaching for his 'phone as we type....

[BuckyO'harre]

Yeah I kinda doubt we'll see A Horse and His Boy, or The Magician's Nephew anytime soon, but maybe Dawn Treader will make enough for Fox to do The Silver Chair.

If they don't then I'll just have to make do with the Dr. Who marshwiggle.

[Doc Holliday]

The whole ending was just fucked backwards.

See that bad guy - yes, that's the one, the guy we've spent 90 minutes gearing you towards hating - we're going to give him a halfway noble way out. Oh shit, hang on a minute, we've still got a story to resolve and now the audience don't hate the evil dude. Hangonaminute - you know that cowering simp? The one that we portrayed, halfway sympathetically, as mistrusting the main bad guy? Let's give his character a quick 180 reversal - now he's the bad guy! GENIUS!

Now tell casting to get those ENT rejects from LOTR, as well as the Poseidon that made Harryhausen weep, and let's roll those cameras!

Is that what happened? So unmemorable I can't... remember.

Not to mention the 'press the red button for an instant win whenever you feel like it' clause, and 'get out of Jail Free card' by simply asking Aslan to sort shit out whenever the good guys are losing. So you know, even when the good guys get beaten, they still are gonna win just like that anyway.

How's THAT for tension!!!!?????

I imagine him standing at the other side of that bridge, whispering aside

"Watch this shit - I picked it up from some elven chick I met at the Prancing Pony"

Then, as the minions charge shouting "For Frodo!", him shouting at them "That's 'ASLAN', you Struggling Background Artists....."

Oh dear.

Um.. I don't get it! Sorry, Doc!

My bad - put less obliquely, there were too many 'poor man echoes' of LOTR throughout the film. Including several moments, during the climactic battle, of everyone yelling "For Aslan". Which just felt like the "For Frodo!" moment in ROTK all over again.

I still haven't watched Apocalypto - bad form.

[Cpt Kirks 2pay]

Aaah I get it now. Yeah, trying to remember such echoes now.

You seen those Malick movies yet, Doc?

As for future Chronicles movies and the kids being responsible for the lack of distance the film can run for, do you ever feel that the kids were so snobby and unlikeable that when it comes to awards shows for such fantasy movies and these actors always get subbed, that they act and feel like the kids in school that no one liked and didn't like back as well?

I just can imagine things like MTV Awards where these kids just keep on returning empty handed all the time. I seem to remember the BAFTAS or something when Harry Potter won, etc, and when all the nominees were being read out, the Chronicles kids got hardly any applause at all and when Potter or whoever DID win, there was a reaction shot of the actress that played the elder Pensenvie sister, who was sitting there quite bitterly looking pissed off. Not happy. Not, one, bit.

I can imagine them bitterly taking up their weapons for real and starting an all out war with the Potter/LOTR cast outside in an alley at an after show party.

[papalazeru]

Just seen Yes man.

Actually, very entertaining film. Certainly made me smile and laugh in more than just a few places. Some great comedic moments from Jim Carey and the relationship between him and Alison really worked. Thoroughly enjoyable.

[papalazeru]

Just caught The Wire on TV tonight. Thoroughly enjoyable. Looking forward to the rest.

[TK-421]

I saw the first two Narnia films this weekend. More or less succesful, they manage to entertain while keeping interesting enough for fans of the novels. I did more complete reviews in my film journal, but figured I'd write it in here as well to set up the question: Anyone know what the current plans are for the series? Back when FOX grabbed the rights, I read somewhere they planned to end it with the third film, is this still the case? I'd love a complete adaptation of the series, so far they've kept remarkably good.

[John-Locke]

I just watched a pretty damn good German Movie called Die Welle (The Wave).

It's about this teacher who for Project week (whatever that is) has to teach a class about Autocracy, he really wanted to teach the Anarchy class but an older more senior teacher got the gig so he's pissed off but soon changes his mood when he realises that his students are willing to make him their dictator for the week as they partake in a little experiment with their own little movement. Outside of the class things start to get a little out of hand and the teacher doesn't realise how committed his students are to the cause. Social, racial, political, hell all barriers between students are lowered as they adopt a uniform, a name and a sign to unify themselves, those who do not comply are ostracised from the group and soon Die Welle isn't just confined to the classroom pupils, it starts to take over some of the school.

It's a pretty predictable film but it's still well worth watching as it's an effective reminder of just how dangerous a unified group/dictatorship can be. It's also just rather well made, some of the acting could be better from the young cast but nothing thats going to spoil it, the cinematography, editing and score are as professional as the screenplay.

Not really shocking as like I mentioned it's rather predictable and things do happen a little too quickly but as a study of a microcosm it works all the same.

8 out of 10

[Bloo]

I saw the first two Narnia films this weekend. More or less succesful, they manage to entertain while keeping interesting enough for fans of the novels. I did more complete reviews in my film journal, but figured I'd write it in here as well to set up the question: Anyone know what the current plans are for the series? Back when FOX grabbed the rights, I read somewhere they planned to end it with the third film, is this still the case? I'd love a complete adaptation of the series, so far they've kept remarkably good.

I know Fox is prepping DAWN TREADER (which is my favorite) and I think to try and "wrap" up the Penveise kids storyline--IF it's successful THEN we can expect I'm guessing Silver Chair and Last Battle--I can't imagine them taking the chance with Magican's Nephew or The Horse and His Boy as much as I'd love to see them

I still say that Joe Johnston would have been great for this series

[Bloo]

I just watched a pretty damn good German Movie called Die Welle (The Wave).

It's about this teacher who for Project week (whatever that is) has to teach a class about Autocracy, he really wanted to teach the Anarchy class but an older more senior teacher got the gig so he's pissed off but soon changes his mood when he realises that his students are willing to make him their dictator for the week as they partake in a little experiment with their own little movement. Outside of the class things start to get a little out of hand and the teacher doesn't realise how committed his students are to the cause. Social, racial, political, hell all barriers between students are lowered as they adopt a uniform, a name and a sign to unify themselves, those who do not comply are ostracised from the group and soon Die Welle isn't just confined to the classroom pupils, it starts to take over some of the school.

It's a pretty predictable film but it's still well worth watching as it's an effective reminder of just how dangerous a unified group/dictatorship can be. It's also just rather well made, some of the acting could be better from the young cast but nothing thats going to spoil it, the cinematography, editing and score are as professional as the screenplay.

Not really shocking as like I mentioned it's rather predictable and things do happen a little too quickly but as a study of a microcosm it works all the same.

8 out of 10

interesting may just have to check it out

[DerLanghaarige]

I just watched a pretty damn good German Movie called Die Welle (The Wave).

I love Jürgen Vogel (the guy who plays the teacher) and heard lots of good things about the movie, but I refuse to watch it, because in school I was forced to read the book and watch the first movie adaptation over and over. It was like everytime our teachers got bored, they decided to teach "Die Welle", not listening to us students when we told them, that another teacher taught us about it already last year.

Anyway, I just watched Paul W. S. Anderson's Death Race and I pretty much enjoyed it.
I never hated this Paul Anderson as much as many others do (especially on the internet). He's not on my list of favourite directors, but I'm not ashamed of admitting that I liked Event Horizon, Soldier and even to some degree Resident Evil. And I have some fond childhood memories of Mortal Kombat. Well, his take on Death Race wasn't really on my list of movies to watch, because it sounded to me that he sucked out all of the fun of Paul Bartel's original and made more a movie for the Fast & Furious audience. I was kinda right, but while his remake is tamer and more serious, it's still pretty over the top, in some parts goofy on purpose (I hope) and has some pretty spectacular stunts.
The problem was that he seemed to be ashamed of getting too much over the top and making things too goofy. So everytime I was sitting in front of my TV and yelled: "Yeah! Fuck yeah!" in anticipation of the fucked up shit that I was about to see, he stepped on the brakes (Pun!) and decided to make everything "cool" again.
Another big flaw was that he suddenly decided to jump on the Bourne bandwagon and didn't let us see what the fuck was going on during the races. Okay, it wasn't as bad as in the Bourne movies. I gotta say it was even still pretty good to see the most important things, but damn, when will modern filmmakers learn, that shaking the camera and zooming in and out without a plan is destracting and amateurish!
One more thing: I seriously laughed at the Hip Hop song that was playing when they introduced the prison to the audience. I don't know what it was, but it's a frontrunner for the award of the most cliched Hip Hop track EVER!

7,5/10

And I watched the 4th Futurama movie 'Into The Wild Green Yonder'. I loved pretty much every moment of it, which makes it as good as the first two and much, much, much better than the 3rd one. Again, I praise the creativity of the Futurama writers. It seems that only them can come up with truly imaginative Science Fiction these days.

8,75/10

[caruso_stalker217]

Thought I'd try a little double feature action and watched HALLOWEEN '78 and HALLOWEEN '07 back-to-back, something I'd been meaning to do for awhile. It was an interesting experience.

I know this guarantees my complete and utter damnation for all eternity in Movie Geek Hell, but... I prefer Zombie's version.

I'm also looking forward to whatever he's doing for the sequel which I sincerely hope is a straight-up remake of HALLOWEEN II, since I would love to see a good version of that piece of shit.

[The Todd]

Just watched Martin Scorsese's The Age of Innocence for the second time in the past 3 days or so. Daniel Day-Lewis kicks ass, like always, and both Michelle Pfeiffer and Winona Ryder give strong performances. Excellent film.

But curse you, Edith Wharton for not having Newland go upstairs at the end!

[DaleTremont]

A couple weeks ago I saw this French movie called Tell No One that was excellent. I only knew the director Guillaume Canet as an actor and apparently this was his first major effort at directing a film. The man has some serious talent. I hadn't been this into a movie in a while. Normally I wander away after an hour, get a snack, and then come back and finish it at my leisure, but this movie has you from the very start. There are twists and turns, and as thrillers go I wouldn't say story-wise this is particularly extraordinary, but it transcends the genre almost completely thanks to Canet. It is so unbelievably well crafted. Pardon me the pretentiousness for saying so, but it reaches Hitchcockian levels of awesomeness and intrigue. Also, you really get the sense it takes you through a top-down tour of France from the creme de la creme insidious aristocracy to the La Haine-like thugs of the banlieue, all seen from the perspective of a man who's gotten caught up in something much, much bigger than him but is forced to rise to the occasion.

Anyway, I won't write a long, boring review because I'm not very good at them but I highly highly recommend this film. Best movie I've seen in ages.

[Pacino86845]

Ne le dit a personne!!!!

[DerLanghaarige]

I finally watched Madagascar today. It's a funny, little movie about nothing, that overegged the popculture pudding from time to time. (Especially in the middle part, where they are referencing Hawaii 5-0, Planet Of The Apes, Chariots Of Fire and American Beauty within less than five minutes or so!)
But yeah, I liked it for what it tried to be (Not an epic Pixar-ish tale, but a simple comedy) and cosinder to rent the sequel next week. (And watch the TV show about the Penguins, which hits German TV tomorrow and happened to be the Nickelodeon debut of the brillant Bob Schooley and Mark McCorkle!)

[Spandau Belly]

Thought I'd try a little double feature action and watched HALLOWEEN '78 and HALLOWEEN '07 back-to-back, something I'd been meaning to do for awhile. It was an interesting experience.

I know this guarantees my complete and utter damnation for all eternity in Movie Geek Hell, but... I prefer Zombie's version.

I'm also looking forward to whatever he's doing for the sequel which I sincerely hope is a straight-up remake of HALLOWEEN II, since I would love to see a good version of that piece of shit.

I can't wait for what Zombie will do with the next one. Zombie's Halloween was fucking insane. I hope he goes all Highlander 2 on this shit and sets it after the apocalypse or something totally absurd. I'd love to see a Mad Max style movie only with Michael Meyers driving around killing people. It would be like Death Proof meets Mad Max = Gold!

[travis-dane]

Thought I'd try a little double feature action and watched HALLOWEEN '78 and HALLOWEEN '07 back-to-back, something I'd been meaning to do for awhile. It was an interesting experience.

I know this guarantees my complete and utter damnation for all eternity in Movie Geek Hell, but... I prefer Zombie's version.

I'm also looking forward to whatever he's doing for the sequel which I sincerely hope is a straight-up remake of HALLOWEEN II, since I would love to see a good version of that piece of shit.

I can't wait for what Zombie will do with the next one. Zombie's Halloween was fucking insane. I hope he goes all Highlander 2 on this shit and sets it after the apocalypse or something totally absurd. I'd love to see a Mad Max style movie only with Michael Meyers driving around killing people. It would be like Death Proof meets Mad Max = Gold!

Dude!
We need THAT! Post Apocalypse Michael Myers.

[caruso_stalker217]

With Danny Trejo returning as Ishmael Cruz, Jr. and driving some sort of souped-up ATV.

"Yo, Michael Myers! I'm gonna fuck you up for crushing my dad's head, fuckin' puta!"

[DerLanghaarige]

Didn't know that Super Size Me was supposed to be on TV today, but since I had nothing better to do, I watched it.
It's a good documentary. Entertaining, but makes you think, even if it's unclear how accurate everything in it is. But this applies to every documentary. Especially since we got every year at least 3 new anti-Michael Moore docs, that accuse him of being a liar and a cheater, but do this by using all the techniques that they accusing him of. I even stopped watching the Discovery Channel, because I realized that Lions maybe don't eat zebras in reality and it all might be negative propaganda from pro-zebra groups. But even if everything in this movie was made up. it was entertaining.

[travis-dane]

Didn't know that Super Size Me was supposed to be on TV today, but since I had nothing better to do, I watched it.
It's a good documentary. Entertaining, but makes you think, even if it's unclear how accurate everything in it is. But this applies to every documentary. Especially since we got every year at least 3 new anti-Michael Moore docs, that accuse him of being a liar and a cheater, but do this by using all the techniques that they accusing him of. I even stopped watching the Discovery Channel, because I realized that Lions maybe don't eat zebras in reality and it all might be negative propaganda from pro-zebra groups. But even if everything in this movie was made up. it was entertaining.

I watched SuperSize Me today too, I think the best part is when his Doctors freak out and tell him he will never recover and after six weeks all his vitals are back to normal.

[DerLanghaarige]

So first I watched The Condemned, which was some kind of a downer. I expected silly action (Hey, it's a WWE production starring Stone Cold Steve Austin and Vinnie Jones!), but unfortunately it was pretty dark and took itself very serious. Not many funny oneliners, no over the top action (just some standard fistfights and shootouts, filmed with unwatchable shaky cam) and especially in the last 15 minutes lots of preachiness about violence in our society and the media.
But I gotta say that it was at least not bad for what it was. It even had some smart thoughts, like the scene were Stone Cold's wife and some friends are watching the live broadcast. Of course they just wanna watch to see if he makes it through, but then you suddenly hear his wife say: "Kill this bastard!", while he is beating up Vinnie Jones. Not sure if this was intended, but I think that means that in our society everybody has a little bloodthirst inside. You just have to give them a good reason. Unfortunately all that goes overboard in the last 15 minutes, when they not just ignore what they were critizising, but also seem to glorify it! And it all starts when they let a reporter shove a corny and laughable message into our throats. ("Maybe we are...the condemned!") And I seriously got no idea if they tried to be satirical when Vinnie Jones kills the broadcast crew or if they were just dumb. Because first we see that these people made a highlight video, where a pop rock song plays in the background while they show the best killings of the game and then a few minutes later Vinnie Jones runs amok while The Prodigy's 'Firestarter' is playing! Post-modernism or idotism? We will probably never know...
Anyway, it's an okay movie. Not a must-see, but it has some qualities.

And I finally got around to watch The Chronicles Of Riddick. Not sure what to think of it. It wasn't really bad, but it dragged and had a muddled dramaturgy. But Riddick is an interesting character, the movie has an awesome art direction, the score is probably Graeme Revell's best work and I agree with the millions of people who love the ending. I hope that now, that Fast & Furious made the big cash, they allow Diesel to go again for some bigger scale Riddick movie.

[instant_karma]

I watched Commando all the way through for the first time a couple of days ago. Up until then, I'd only ever seen bits of it whilst flicking channels.

It's shit. Not even entertaining on a cheesy 80's action movie level.

[so sorry]

I watched Commando all the way through for the first time a couple of days ago. Up until then, I'd only ever seen bits of it whilst flicking channels.

It's shit. Not even entertaining on a cheesy 80's action movie level.

You sir, are dead to me now.

[instant_karma]

I watched Commando all the way through for the first time a couple of days ago. Up until then, I'd only ever seen bits of it whilst flicking channels.

It's shit. Not even entertaining on a cheesy 80's action movie level.

You sir, are dead to me now.

I really did try to watch it in a positive light, but I just couldn't overcome it's flaws. The only way I can only really imagine people enjoying this is either due to having seen it when they were yound and getting a nostalgic buzz, or in 'so bad it's good' kind of way.

And I guess I can kind of see how that could work if it's for the later reason. There is some high camp in that movie, mainly from the least threatening bad guy ever, but also with scenes like Arnie rowing his little dinghy ashore wearing nothing but a thong for no other reason than to I guess appeal to woman/ Dumbledore guys.

There is also the matter of a truly annoying sidekick, who the writers don't seem to feel the need to assign any motivation for her to want to help him out and stick around and continually have her life in danger.

Oh, and the montage at the start of the movie with Arnie and his daughter has the terrifying spectacle of him pretending to laugh when she puts ice cream on his nose. It looks like he's gonna bite her head off or something. Made me think of this -



See also the thumb war scene at the end of True Lies for more Arnold looking like a psycho maniac when trying to act happy.

[Cpt Kirks 2pay]

You sir, can put that dog face o my own as the last 3 lines of your post have got me guffawing just like that dog!! I know exactly what you mean, dude! I know EXACTLY what you mean.

Cue the Best Arnie moment thread again!!!

[Cpt Kirks 2pay]

I watched Commando all the way through for the first time a couple of days ago. Up until then, I'd only ever seen bits of it whilst flicking channels.

It's shit. Not even entertaining on a cheesy 80's action movie level.

Somehow my post to this earlier got deleted, so here goes again.

Commando is a skinny version of Rambo as it is just a copycat. Then Arnie made a career out of this. Shame.

[caruso_stalker217]

What the fuck am I watching here? People shitting on COMMANDO left and right?

But, hey, it gives me a chance to self-promote a little:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=flEDIyvp ... annel_page

[travis-dane]

What the fuck am I watching here? People shitting on COMMANDO left and right?

But, hey, it gives me a chance to self-promote a little:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=flEDIyvp ... annel_page

Fucking Frenchmen.....

One dude in the comments section noticed:
"The subs are all wrong."

[SilentBobX]

FINALLY got to see Gonzo. The Hunter Thompson doc. Loved it. A little short but a true documentary covering Hunter's impact would undoubtedly be a box set of dvds. Depp is cool in it but sadly he's not in it enough. The extras are damn fine especially Steadman's art(the crazy skunkfucker)

Mahalo

[instant_karma]

You sir, can put that dog face o my own as the last 3 lines of your post have got me guffawing just like that dog!! I know exactly what you mean, dude! I know EXACTLY what you mean.

Cue the Best Arnie moment thread again!!!

I went looking on youtube for the thumb war scene and found this little gem

[Cpt Kirks 2pay]

You sir, can put that dog face o my own as the last 3 lines of your post have got me guffawing just like that dog!! I know exactly what you mean, dude! I know EXACTLY what you mean.

Cue the Best Arnie moment thread again!!!

I went looking on youtube for the thumb war scene and found this little gem

GAAAHAHAHHAHAHAAHAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Cue me with Arnie's face in that clip as I laugh my head off!!! Gaahahahaaaa!!!!!!! Man, do genius film editors NOT have anything better to do with their lives? Thank God they don't!

I'm well gonna give that to Lugz, he does a brilliant Arnie and will GAAHAHAHAAAA even better and louder than me at that!

[BuckyO'harre]

You sir, can put that dog face o my own as the last 3 lines of your post have got me guffawing just like that dog!! I know exactly what you mean, dude! I know EXACTLY what you mean.

Cue the Best Arnie moment thread again!!!

I went looking on youtube for the thumb war scene and found this little gem

Oh dear...

I seem to be bleeding from my ears.

[caruso_stalker217]

Sweet Jesus, that's hilarious.

[Cpt Kirks 2pay]

Where was I anyway?

WILL THAT gentleman WHO KEEPS ON PLAYING AKON IN HIS CAR AS HE DRIVES PAST MY OPEN WINDOW, PLEASE CRASH AND DIE AND KILL AKON WHILE YOU'RE AT IT?

Ah yes, the wonders of peace, goodwill and love for another human in the movie, Peter Pan, which I saw yesterday on TV. OK, I missed the first half of the movie and only picked it up from the forest scene in which Peter and Wendy are floating in the sky and Hook is watching them.

But aside from Peter Pan himself - who I actually wanted to DIE - and maybe I'm basing it on the fact that film was a flop and I was expecting it be rather dull, but I thought the film was actually pretty darn good. What made it work the most was a delightful Wendy and a Hook that was played so relishly well and charmingly by my ol' mate, Jason Isaacs, that I actually wanted him to WIN! I was a bit disappointed with an IMDB search that the actress Rachel Ann Hurd or whatever her name was (didn't she produce Aliens? Not as in produce a litter of Aliens herself, literally, as in give birth, Good Heavens! But produce the MOVIE, dummy! Heh, if Peter Pan is all about living your present age forever and choosing when to grow up or stay the same age, Rachel GOOD have DONE this! Adult then, child now? The aboves posts already proved that sci-fi, strange double existences and me turning into Elizabeth Shue CAN happen, so why now?) that she didn't do many more acting credits, film or otherwise when that fucking WANKER, Peter Pan actor did.

I also liked how the story got the theme across about love being what makes us embrace growing up or that if you DO decide to grow up without it, you're doomed, and that is why we see Hook and Peter Pan as the same person in many ways. One has to Grow Up, and reject Youth if he accepts Love, but instead rejects Love as he prefers Youth, whilst the other has avoided or rejects Love AND Youth, but is going to remain alone and be 'Done For'. So they've both rejected it, both are alone, both think they can survive without it even though maybe they DON'T, but one can, PHYSICALLY at least, afford the luxury of it's absence as he has time on his side, whilst the other is ultimately doomed as he DOESN'T have time on his side. Maybe that's what the ticking clock associated with the Crocodile is all about.

HEH, don't call me an idiot for only just working all this out! I never read the story as a kid, I was only a baby, I couldn't read! I never watched Disney as Disney is Dumbledore! Hook was crap about from the blue lit/lens filtered London in the snow with John Williams ambience and I only watch movies about WAR and Bloodshed and Guns as I'm such a spastic but at least I'm a (fully grown AND adult), Macho MAN!!!! Okaayyy!?!?!

Anyway at the end of the movie, we're left wondering how Happy Peter Pan is in NeverNeverLand as he flies off. I just wished he DIED though. Which is where the movie fails from being a successfully enchanting one, as the actor who plays Peter Pan is just about as bad as one can be. Don't give me all that crap about how hard it is to play a role about a cocky kid, this guy fails fails fails. It's not that he just can't act, it's that he plays it with such an 'I'm Mr Cool' approach that he just comes across as a Wanker. I'm sorry, but this sums him up the best, I'm not gonna list all the more specific descriptives that make up this image, I don't wanna indulge in negativity here. But again, when you end up with a 'Hero' 'Good Guy' character that you end up cheering when he gets his ass kicked and you want to die, then once more as I said in another thread, you've completely failed as an actor. You know? I really hated this guy.

Just as shame that the rest of the movie seemed to do everything right. Once more Wendy and Hook were the best things about the movie, and when they both had scenes of just them 2 together, that was the best thing IN the movie. From what I saw anyway. Would like to have seen more of the beginning, just to see what Isaacs was like as Wendy's father. Roll on more regular guy rolls for him, not just baddies.

Oh well, and now I must get back into the nightmare of re-editing the voice overs for my Tiger Shark fucking movie again. Shame my voice is just as bad a poorformance as Peter Pan's. Otherwise I'd be living it up with Elizabeth Shue!!! Then when she asked me where did I film my Shark movie, I could tell her "In the WATER, bummybrains!!'. Then she'd look at me blankly, then I'd probably have to explain the joke to her.

[Doc Holliday]

Oh well, and now I must get back into the nightmare of re-editing the voice overs for my Tiger Shark fucking movie again. Shame my voice is just as bad a poorformance as Peter Pan's. Otherwise I'd be living it up with Elizabeth Shue!!! Then when she asked me where did I film my Shark movie, I could tell her "In the WATER, bummybrains!!'. Then she'd look at me blankly, then I'd probably have to explain the joke to her.

Just make sure you do, mister - sort the voiceover out and you have genuine material for hawking around Discovery, Nat Geographic et al. I'm going to show that film to my Year 9's at the end of the next term (I'm teaching them how to review film via multiple screenings of JAWS).

As for the voiceover, why not allay those 'stage nerves' by doing a comedy dry run? Narrate it first in the style of Mij, restricting yourself to various intonations of WUAD. Once that's done, you should be in good shape to attack it with a fresh mind, free of doubt and self-loathing

I've finally got around to watching APOCALYPTO - a solid, enjoyable film. Nothing special - perhaps I cheated myself by not catching the visuals on the big screen - but solid. I liked how at the end, having hated on the evil trobe for 2 hours, suddenly they seemed sympathetic and misunderstood with the arrival of the conquistadors; how, as savage and brutal as they had been, they nonetheless paled in comarison to what we know must follow in the name of civilisation and Christianity.

[bastard_robo]

I watched Dana Goulds LET ME PUT MY THOUGHTS IN YOU..


PISSED MY PANTS LAUGHING!

[DennisMM]

Did a Nicolas Cage double over the weekend, Ghost Rider and World Trade Center.

Ghost Rider, of which I'd experienced just a little, killed me. The first half of the film is hilarious, deliberately. Mark Steven Johnson obviously is playing the setup for laughs. There's no other way to read such sights as Nic Cage drinking coffee out of a pot hot off the warmer or his laughing madly at a video of a chimp karate-kicking his owner. Even Peter Fonda as Mephistopheles plays it for laughs, early on. Unfortunately, at some point the fun ends and the grinding predictability begins. We know Johnny Blaze will defeat the fallen angels, that he will face down Mephisto and either be lifted of his curse (not likely) or somehow control it. We know he'll get the girl - sort of. Why? Because this is a Mark Steven Johnson film and a lower-end Marvel production, and there are conventions to be observed. Cage is great in the comedy, not very good in the stereotyped superhero and horror material. Eva Mendes handled the comedy well, also, and the straight material not as well. Donal Logue can't give a bad performance, that I've seen, though he wasn't great. Not a bad way to kill a couple of hours, so long as you know what you're getting into. 6/10

WTC is a bit flat, partly because of the claustrophobic nature of the story (literally) and the utter earnestness of the way it's played. I suppose there is no alternative to the latter so long as one shows respect for the situation, but grim is not the word to describe the tone. I'm not sure I have a word. I teared up a good deal, as I do with most anything involving emergency personnel on September 11, but I could feel Oliver Stone playing me more than occasionally. At times the film was laughably earnest, as in most of the scenes featuring the former Marine reservist who found the buried Port Authority cops. This was one point where some underplaying would have helped, because Sgt. Karnes was scary. Cage's performance is rather flat, but his character is in a situation where he can barely speak some of the time. Michael Peña has a bit more to say and his youthful enthusiasm comes through the harshness of the situation. Overall a success but with some serious missed opportunities. 6.5/10

[caruso_stalker217]

So I got off work earlier and I must've spent too much time in the sun because I ended up buying BATMAN FOREVER and BATMAN & ROBIN.

I hadn't seen it since I was a kid outside of a few hilarious YouTube clips and I was feeling a bit reckless so I decided to give BATMAN & ROBIN a spin.

Holy shit, this movie is terrible.

Holy shit, this movie is wonderful.

The acting is fucking ass all the way across the board. Uma Thurman is especially lousy. She is also especially hot. Her whole death/resurrection thing is some weaksauce BATMAN RETURNS Catwoman shit, though, and she ain't no Michelle Pfeiffer. Still, I had to give her points for keeping me at half-mast for most of the movie. On the opposite end of that spectrum is the doughy Alicia Silverstone with her fucked up mouth that looks like a prolapsed anus. I really fucking look down on hating on chubby girls and I feel like a jerk for this, but for Christ's sake if you're gonna be in a Batman movie and have to kick people and shit could you maybe lose a couple pounds, get in shape? And I don't want to say that Drew Barrymore has let herself go cuz she's a goddamn chunker now, but I miss the '90s Drew who was worth banging. Anyway, nothing against the chunky girls. More cushion, etc. I just don't want them on my cinema screen.

So, yeah, not a lot of Oscar caliber work in this thing. I had to laugh at Clooney's acting method in this movie which amounts to little more than smiling like a jerk through every scene. Alfred says stuff like "I'm not going to be around forever" and there's Bruce standing there with a smirk on his face and his head bobbing around. There is actually one scene that looks like it could be from a real movie and that's the scene where Alfred is on his deathbed or whatever and he and Bruce are talking about their feelings and Bruce says "I love you, old man" and Alfred says "I love you, too" and it's actually a nice little tender moment and also Bruce keeps seeing his home movies in the wall. I'm a Clooney supporter, I think the guy does good work and his smugness works in a lot of movies, but his Bruce Wayne is just too goddamn smug. With his fucking turtlenecks and shit. I mean the guy looks good, he knows how to dress, I'll give him that. Smug fuck.

Anyway, there is such a large amount of fucking diarrhea in this film it's goddamn unbelievable. Mr. Freeze sitting in his jail cell whittling a fucking icicle into an ice ballerina and makes a fuckin' music box out of it or some shit. Also, there are the puns. The fucking puns. And what kind of villain goes from "Dr." to "Mr."? It's supposed to be the other way around. When Dr. Doom became a supervillain did he change his fucking name to Mr. Doom? Fuck no.

So why the hell does everybody hate this movie? I mean, okay, I get the hate for this movie. It's well-founded. This thing pisses on the Batman legacy and is a complete pile of shit. But on the other hand I was entertained, never got bored, laughed at the goddamn thing the whole time, Uma Thurman is hot as fuck, and shockingly I didn't roll my eyes once or groan or anything. So this thing isn't even on a Uwe Boll level of lousiness. Plus, you gotta respect Shumacher for throwing in some Batgirl cameltoe. I know it was just a crease in the material of the Batpanties, but I think it still counts.

Oh yeah and how awesome is it that Nicky Katt is in BATMAN & ROBIN and THE DARK KNIGHT? I thought he was better in this, though, cuz he wasn't running his fucking mouth for ten minutes.

Anyway, I shit you not, I'm giving this thing a 10/10.

[Bloo]

So I got off work earlier and I must've spent too much time in the sun because I ended up buying BATMAN FOREVER and BATMAN & ROBIN.

I hadn't seen it since I was a kid outside of a few hilarious YouTube clips and I was feeling a bit reckless so I decided to give BATMAN & ROBIN a spin.

Holy shit, this movie is terrible.

Holy shit, this movie is wonderful.

The acting is fucking ass all the way across the board. Uma Thurman is especially lousy. She is also especially hot. Her whole death/resurrection thing is some weaksauce BATMAN RETURNS Catwoman shit, though, and she ain't no Michelle Pfeiffer. Still, I had to give her points for keeping me at half-mast for most of the movie. On the opposite end of that spectrum is the doughy Alicia Silverstone with her fucked up mouth that looks like a prolapsed anus. I really fucking look down on hating on chubby girls and I feel like a jerk for this, but for Christ's sake if you're gonna be in a Batman movie and have to kick people and shit could you maybe lose a couple pounds, get in shape? And I don't want to say that Drew Barrymore has let herself go cuz she's a goddamn chunker now, but I miss the '90s Drew who was worth banging. Anyway, nothing against the chunky girls. More cushion, etc. I just don't want them on my cinema screen.

So, yeah, not a lot of Oscar caliber work in this thing. I had to laugh at Clooney's acting method in this movie which amounts to little more than smiling like a jerk through every scene. Alfred says stuff like "I'm not going to be around forever" and there's Bruce standing there with a smirk on his face and his head bobbing around. There is actually one scene that looks like it could be from a real movie and that's the scene where Alfred is on his deathbed or whatever and he and Bruce are talking about their feelings and Bruce says "I love you, old man" and Alfred says "I love you, too" and it's actually a nice little tender moment and also Bruce keeps seeing his home movies in the wall. I'm a Clooney supporter, I think the guy does good work and his smugness works in a lot of movies, but his Bruce Wayne is just too goddamn smug. With his fucking turtlenecks and shit. I mean the guy looks good, he knows how to dress, I'll give him that. Smug fuck.

Anyway, there is such a large amount of fucking diarrhea in this film it's goddamn unbelievable. Mr. Freeze sitting in his jail cell whittling a fucking icicle into an ice ballerina and makes a fuckin' music box out of it or some shit. Also, there are the puns. The fucking puns. And what kind of villain goes from "Dr." to "Mr."? It's supposed to be the other way around. When Dr. Doom became a supervillain did he change his fucking name to Mr. Doom? Fuck no.

So why the hell does everybody hate this movie? I mean, okay, I get the hate for this movie. It's well-founded. This thing pisses on the Batman legacy and is a complete pile of shit. But on the other hand I was entertained, never got bored, laughed at the goddamn thing the whole time, Uma Thurman is hot as fuck, and shockingly I didn't roll my eyes once or groan or anything. So this thing isn't even on a Uwe Boll level of lousiness. Plus, you gotta respect Shumacher for throwing in some Batgirl cameltoe. I know it was just a crease in the material of the Batpanties, but I think it still counts.

Oh yeah and how awesome is it that Nicky Katt is in BATMAN & ROBIN and THE DARK KNIGHT? I thought he was better in this, though, cuz he wasn't running his fucking mouth for ten minutes.

Anyway, I shit you not, I'm giving this thing a 10/10.

I can see all your points buddy...except for the Alicia Silverstone chunky buisness...granted it's been awhile since I've seen that movie, but I seem to remember her being in pretty good shape for that...I don't think she was at Aerosmith making out with Liv Tyler video/Clueless hotness but still pretty good though

Drew, while still cute and hell yes I'd bang her, has gotten a little...plumper lately which is again cool with me...I saw her promoting her HBO special thingy and didn't hardly recognize her

[caruso_stalker217]

Okay, the chunky thing, that was fucked up. I admit it. Maybe I was comparing her unfairly to Uma. Silverstone ain't too shabby. Aside from the ass-mouth thing I mentioned.

[Bloo]

Okay, the chunky thing, that was fucked up. I admit it. Maybe I was comparing her unfairly to Uma. Silverstone ain't too shabby. Aside from the ass-mouth thing I mentioned.

yeah Uma is inspiring in that film, she didn't need no magic phermone plant powers...even if she does have some f'd up Princess Leia/Padma Star Wars hairstyles

[caruso_stalker217]

Even as a magenta gorilla she's smokin'!

[DerLanghaarige]

1.) I became a Batman & Robin supporter years ago, after a little voice in my head suddenly told me to view this as a big screen adaptation of the Adam West incarnation. (Although the same voice still regrets that they didn't include the "POW" and "BAM" speech balloons during the action scenes)

2) Uma Thurman never was and never will be hot. Fact.

[Cpt Kirks 2pay]

I find Uma Thurman totally bland and unsexy. Average actress too. Bland Blonde. Was the unsexiest thing in Beautiful Girls.

[DennisMM]

I first saw Uma Thurman in The Adventures of Baron Munchausen, when she emerges from the surf in a clam, nude, and her bountiful breasts come spilling out. Been a fan ever since, even if I don't like the movies she's in.

[Doc Holliday]

I first saw Uma Thurman in The Adventures of Baron Munchausen, when she emerges from the surf in a clam, nude, and her bountiful breasts come spilling out. Been a fan ever since, even if I don't like the movies she's in.

She made a similar first impression on me in Jennifer 8. Like her or loathe her, the woman's got wabs to die for...(and if you piss her off, she'll throw a goddamned Great White at yer, so caution is advised)

[DerLanghaarige]

and if you piss her off, she'll throw a goddamned Great White at yer, so caution is advised

That was for me one of the main flaws of 'Super-Ex': They seriously tried to sell the fugly Uma as hot superchick!

[caruso_stalker217]

2) Uma Thurman never was and never will be hot. Fact.

LIEEEESS!