by Tonay on Mon Jan 30, 2006 10:22 am
(This topic was one I posted on some other forum last month)
(I'm Kace)
(This topic is dedicated to Graham S who is about to embark on a vogage of fantasticness). A Vogage is what we in the Buffy Community call a 'full-watch'.
Dude, DO NOT watch Buffy from the beginning. "But why, sire?" I hear you cry?
Because of this:
KACE'S SEXY LIST OF WHICH BUFFY EPISODES TO WATCH IF YOU'VE NEVER SEEN IT BEFORE, MOTHER:
Begineth Your Vogage with
1. Once More With Feeling. (Season 6, Episode 6, you'll be able to find torrents for just this episode so you won't have to download the whole season 6 first)
Once More With Feeling will make little sense to you. But you'll still love it. Although this episode will grossly spoil the entire Buffy series to you (as in which characters are recurring, which only turn up in one episode, or turn out to be regulars), it's vital to watch this episode since this is the Do or Die episode. Basically, if you don't like Once More With Feeling, you don't deserve to watch Buffy. We don't want your kind. But 95% of people love OMWF more than their undersized genitalia, so it's highly unlikely that you won't like the musical. Oh, thats right. It's a musical. But don't let that put you off, nig.
Episode 2: School Hard (Season 2, Episode 3) (Download the entire Season 2 torrent though)
Now, certain hardcore Buffy fanatics consider the pilot to THE episode for welcome member of the Zone to watch first, since it explains the shows mythology and explains all the characters lives. But I beg to differ. Some might even call me a 'renegade' in this respect. I don't think Buffy really requires the viewer to know the mythology and back-story to understand it. You'll understand it as you watch it. Tis because of this that I believe School Hard is the episode you need to watch next. It's a classic, this one, right up there with Casablanca and Schindlers List (although, lets be honest – even the Less Great episodes of Buffy are more entertaining, thematically intriguing, well-made and excellently written than your ‘Citizen Kane’). It's gonna be useful to you, love, because it shows up another critical character: Spike. If you come out of this episode hating Spike, then YOU'RE NOT WELCOME TO WATCH BUFFY. There, just fuck off. I've seen enough Spike-haters in my time to know that they simply do not deserve to watch this magnificent show. All they do is complain about the character. If you want to join them, go ahead, why are you wasting my time for? Just get out.
Next:
Episode 3: Halloween (Season 2, Ep 6)
Episode 4: Lie To Me (Season 2, Ep 7)
These two eps are from Season 2, which as you can see is the first season you should watch. If you're the risky, dangerous, brooding type, you may just want to watch Season 2 from the beginning, but I would advise against that, since you might be put off by the berry-ordinaryness of When She Was Bad (Season 2 Premiere) - it's not memorable and hardly a classic. Still, it's far superior to even the best episodes of Alias or whatever nonsense these kids watch these days. Anywho, rather than explain the greatness of these 2 GREAT episodes (although not OMWF, Fool For Love, or The Gift-esque Learn-The-Script Great, just Regular, Rewatch 5 Times Or So Great (with buffy episodes theres sort of a heirarchy of Greatness)), I choose to explain why you should choose to miss out episodes 1, 2, 4 and 5 of Season 2. Basically, they're only sufficiently great as to make you enjoy yourself for 84 minutes and 30 seconds (I’m assuming of course that you’ll immediately rewatch each episode once after you see it: Buffy is a such a bubbling, vibrating cacophony of excellence that watching an episode once is tantamount to watching only the first ten minutes of any other show). These episodes won't make you a Buffy fanatic and they won't drive you to make a Buffy fansite (which, suffice to say, you should have already been designing after watching OMWF).
There are some out there who would be so outlandish and brash to even call 'Inca Mummy Girl' and 'Reptile Boy' bad episodes. Do not be frightened off by these chavs, my sweet childe. Those people are fucking idiots.
Next: watch the rest of Season 2.
Then: Watch Seasons 3, then 4, then 5, then 6, then 7, then 2 again, then 1, then 8.
Oh yuss: Season 8 can be found on the web. It was never filmed (you can only read it - and it's in screenplay format to boot), and written by idiotic fans with nothing better to do, but it's a tangible Season 8 which we still love. Yes, it's shit, and yes it's not funny or scary or emotionally involving, but it's SOMETHING.
And in these dark days of the 21st Century, where the 'best' TV show around is Lost (pfft), these few episodes are all we have left to cling on to, my boy.
Note: If I were you, put a notch on your bedpost for every time you’ve seen Once More With Feeling. I insist on this because in ‘Ive seen the buffy musical more times than you’ arguments, I require physical wooden proof from all my opponents. Tip: make you notches small. (I’m onto my third bed)
I hope to hear from you in 144 days time. Till then, my love...