The Italian Stallion Wants YOU!

Discuss all the finest actors, living or dead -- their films, their talents, and their weird, drug-related escapades.

The Italian Stallion Wants YOU!

Postby Seppuku on Sat Nov 25, 2006 12:35 am

Apparently Sly Stallone must have REALLY hit the bottom of the barrel if he's resorted to an AICN TALKBACKER Q&A SESSION. Can anyone say Scratching a hole in your herpes and filling it up with Mongolian War Ants? But MUCH MUCH more painful...

Here's the article on the main page. I want to see as many Zoners making the final 200 Questions as possible!
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Postby havocSchultz on Sat Nov 25, 2006 12:37 am

PL4NT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!





































Fucking Weed Whacker.
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Postby Lady Sheridan on Sat Nov 25, 2006 12:37 am

I can only think of one. "Why couldn't this be the movie where Rocky fights the Iraqi?"
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Postby buster00 on Sat Nov 25, 2006 12:51 am

Iraqi Balboa?

Is that, like, the Bizzaro Rocky?
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Postby Fievel on Sat Nov 25, 2006 2:03 am

Every question needs to be about Rhinestone.
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Postby buster00 on Sat Nov 25, 2006 2:14 am

I wanna ask when he's gonna fight Estelle Getty again.
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Postby Tyrone_Shoelaces on Sat Nov 25, 2006 2:25 am

"Will there ever be a special edition of Oscar?"
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Postby Fievel on Sat Nov 25, 2006 2:32 am

Why no Over The Top 2?!?!?
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Postby buster00 on Sat Nov 25, 2006 5:14 am

Fievel wrote:Why no Over The Top 2?!?!?


That is actually a legitimate question. Over the Top 2 would rawk so hawrd!!1!!!!1!!ELEVEN!!!!

No, wait, I've got it...a Judge Dredd sequel in which Dredd has to win the big arm-wrestling tourney in order to gain his son's respect. Cuz I heard that's how he wanted the first Dredd to be written.
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Postby Torpedo Launching Putin on Sat Nov 25, 2006 5:21 am

Last year for Halloween, I once went as Ivan Drago and won costume contest! I would ask Stallone, maybe Ivan deserve to die in film? I did not think so, but maybe Rocky feel this way.
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Postby Flumm on Thu Nov 30, 2006 6:20 am

Sigh, this could be cold. Really cold.

Like a pre-muffin Dino, cryogenically cold, type cold.



And he has 20 days of it.

:o

It's like some post-post-modernist, interwebs spawned, narcissim-steroid injected training montage from Hollywood's remake of the deleted scenes from Sly Stallone's pre-fame, economy porn and pasta-carbs fuelled Hellmares. Part V.

"Dear Sly....

What are you thoughts on the iminent damnation of Micheal Bay? And the subsequent effects among his fellow artists and the creative community in general?

Yours Forever Ever

Flummage"

Sigh.

My thoughts originally were, who of us is brave enough amid the tussle for unwittiest coated subversi-wit, would submit the spiffiest "real" question, and cloak it suffuciantly to get it under the radar and for it to be Dear Sly'ed?

But then, even through the ridulousness of the situation, and it's manifold ironical heaving lat muscles, does not evade my gaze, I do really kind of like Sly.

Quite a bit actually.

I am torn.

*...throws be-mittened hands up in the air..."


"AAAAA-I-CCCEEEEE-ENNNNNN!!!111"


OK, perhaps not that torn.

Should be an interesting read though, no?

From what I can tell, I imagine Harry will strike a nice balance with the questions...

It's still up for submissions I'm guessing, also.

Has anyone entered, as yet?

If not, a little bump for those that thinks they get the chops to be a contender with Rocko...
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Postby Chilli on Thu Nov 30, 2006 6:23 am

My question:

Copland is (arguably) your best performance, but you followed it up (live-action wise) with Get Carter. Why would you do this?
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Postby Flumm on Thu Nov 30, 2006 7:12 am

Did you pound the meatloaf, Chilli?

Or did you merely sizzle it on the surface with sarcastical buttersweat?

-^

I don't know, maybe it's a little childish, but I would genuinely smile if I we could get zome Zoners up there...
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Postby Chilli on Thu Nov 30, 2006 7:13 am

I think Cop Land rocked, Stallone was great in it, but then he doesn't have a starring role for two years and it's in Get 'fucking' Carter?!? That's Star Wars Prequel logic.
Bison: [to his architect] The temple above us was the wonder of the ancient world. Bisonopolis shall be the wonder of my world. But I think the food court should be larger. All the big franchises will want in.
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Postby Flumm on Thu Nov 30, 2006 7:24 am

:lol:

I don't disagree, matey. I'm just not sure if you subimted the question...



Mmm, I get the feeling this is gonna be a Bart/Zoner VS Martin/TalkBacker for Class President / AICN come Real-Life Stallone-Based Reality-Melting Moment Of Glory types o' situation...

Sigh.

Where's Alonzo when you need him, eh?
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Postby Chilli on Thu Nov 30, 2006 7:30 am

I didn't submit it. Just throwing it out there as the type of question that should be asked.

The questions that WILL be asked:

Q: Hey Sly - ever watch the adult movie you made while high on crack?
A: hehehe. No, I never asked to work with Spielberg.

Sorry, drifted.
Bison: [to his architect] The temple above us was the wonder of the ancient world. Bisonopolis shall be the wonder of my world. But I think the food court should be larger. All the big franchises will want in.
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Postby Doc Holliday on Thu Nov 30, 2006 7:33 am

I wonder what he hopes the long-term future to hold in store for himself, now he's revisited his two flagship titles for the last time. Will he be seeking the sort of character role he did so well with in Copland...or will he become increasingly more involved behind the camera as either writer, producer or director?
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Postby ThisIsTheGirl on Thu Nov 30, 2006 7:55 am

Perhaps you should send that in as a question, Doc.

I'm going to ask "does your mother have any plans to return to British reality TV?"
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Postby Chilli on Thu Nov 30, 2006 7:57 am

His response would be pretty comical.
Bison: [to his architect] The temple above us was the wonder of the ancient world. Bisonopolis shall be the wonder of my world. But I think the food court should be larger. All the big franchises will want in.
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Postby Doc Holliday on Thu Nov 30, 2006 8:00 am

ThisIsTheGirl wrote:Perhaps you should send that in as a question, Doc.

I'm going to ask "does your mother have any plans to return to British reality TV?"


Done it.

I resisted the urge to ask - "Did you fail to get in to BNAT as well?".

One fuck-up with senior AICN staff is quite enough for today... :D
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Postby Cpt Kirks 2pay on Thu Nov 30, 2006 8:22 am

Doc Holliday wrote:I wonder what he hopes the long-term future to hold in store for himself, now he's revisited his two flagship titles for the last time. Will he be seeking the sort of character role he did so well with in Copland...or will he become increasingly more involved behind the camera as either writer, producer or director?


Pretty much the question I had in mind. Will he do more Copland stuff. I mean, he's been pretty shit at anything else.
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Postby Doc Holliday on Thu Nov 30, 2006 8:33 am

Cpt Kirks 2pay wrote:
Doc Holliday wrote:I wonder what he hopes the long-term future to hold in store for himself, now he's revisited his two flagship titles for the last time. Will he be seeking the sort of character role he did so well with in Copland...or will he become increasingly more involved behind the camera as either writer, producer or director?


Pretty much the question I had in mind. Will he do more Copland stuff. I mean, he's been pretty shit at anything else.


Sadly true...and in the old days of the Arnie/Bruce/Sly triumvirate I always backed Sly as the one with longevity because he a) always seems the most grounded, the most real in any interview that he gives, b) always struck me as the most intelligent too - unlike the others he had a fledgling career behind the camera before he moved in front of it

Then he went and did that Reality-Rocky show - what was it called again...The Contender? Come on Sly - you're better than that! Way better!
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Postby Cpt Kirks 2pay on Thu Nov 30, 2006 8:40 am

It's when he started playing the Arnie game that he ceased to be special in anyway.

Before that he was an independent star. His characters belonged to him and no one else, and he should have stayed doing that more often.
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Postby colonel_lugz on Thu Nov 30, 2006 8:44 am

Doc Holliday wrote:
Cpt Kirks 2pay wrote:
Doc Holliday wrote:I wonder what he hopes the long-term future to hold in store for himself, now he's revisited his two flagship titles for the last time. Will he be seeking the sort of character role he did so well with in Copland...or will he become increasingly more involved behind the camera as either writer, producer or director?


Pretty much the question I had in mind. Will he do more Copland stuff. I mean, he's been pretty shit at anything else.


Sadly true...and in the old days of the Arnie/Bruce/Sly triumvirate I always backed Sly as the one with longevity because he a) always seems the most grounded, the most real in any interview that he gives, b) always struck me as the most intelligent too - unlike the others he had a fledgling career behind the camera before he moved in front of it

Then he went and did that Reality-Rocky show - what was it called again...The Contender? Come on Sly - you're better than that! Way better!


Did you actually watch that show, Doc?

It was extremely well put together and thoroughly entertaining. It wasn't just some bottom feeding vacuos reality show. It had heart and made you actually care for the journey these young boxers were taking. Sly made a damn good move with that show.
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Postby ThisIsTheGirl on Thu Nov 30, 2006 8:45 am

Until that guy topped himself
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Postby Doc Holliday on Thu Nov 30, 2006 8:49 am

colonel_lugz wrote:Did you actually watch that show, Doc?

It was extremely well put together and thoroughly entertaining. It wasn't just some bottom feeding vacuos reality show. It had heart and made you actually care for the journey these young boxers were taking. Sly made a damn good move with that show.


I watched the first one and thought the exact opposite of what you've just said.
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Postby Chilli on Thu Nov 30, 2006 8:55 am

I dug the show, but it didn't need Sly... and if anything, gave him an excuse not to try something different with his acting.
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Postby DinoDeLaurentiis on Thu Nov 30, 2006 10:14 am

Flumm wrote:Sigh, this could be cold. Really cold.

Like a pre-muffin Dino, cryogenically cold, type cold.



Goddamn Sly, eh? The putz, he come out to a the villa for a little, how you say? "R anna the R," eh? This was a like, back inna the days when a he marry that blonde muscle chick, no? Anna the whole time, alla he do was a like military press her over his a head, eh?

After about a the week, he still there... the goddamn putz, he dinna wanna to leave. A so's a get my driver to pack the both of a them uppa inna the car anna we drive a them out inna to a the Greek countryside, eh? I tella the putzes we gonna to go look atta the goddamn Acropolis or a something, a 'cos a they need a to see the sights, eh?

So we drive anna drive unna 'til we find a some ruins (I donna even a know what they were, eh? hehehe) anna as a soon as a we alla get out of a the car, the Dino, eh jumps back in anna I say through a the crack inna the window "Sly, you a the goddamn disease anna the Dino, he's a the cure, no? BWAHAHAHAHA!!!" anna I tell a the driver to punch it, eh? Anna I left a the goddamn putz standing there inna the middle of a the goddamn East Bumbleopolis with a the goddamn blonde she-hulk bench-pressed over his a goddamn head.
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Postby Doc Holliday on Thu Nov 30, 2006 10:25 am

DinoDeLaurentiis wrote:
Flumm wrote:Sigh, this could be cold. Really cold.

Like a pre-muffin Dino, cryogenically cold, type cold.



Goddamn Sly, eh? The putz, he come out to a the villa for a little, how you say? "R anna the R," eh? This was a like, back inna the days when a he marry that blonde muscle chick, no? Anna the whole time, alla he do was a like military press her over his a head, eh?

After about a the week, he still there... the goddamn putz, he dinna wanna to leave. A so's a get my driver to pack the both of a them uppa inna the car anna we drive a them out inna to a the Greek countryside, eh? I tella the putzes we gonna to go look atta the goddamn Acropolis or a something, a 'cos a they need a to see the sights, eh?

So we drive anna drive unna 'til we find a some ruins (I donna even a know what they were, eh? hehehe) anna as a soon as a we alla get out of a the car, the Dino, eh jumps back in anna I say through a the crack inna the window "Sly, you a the goddamn disease anna the Dino, he's a the cure, no? BWAHAHAHAHA!!!" anna I tell a the driver to punch it, eh? Anna I left a the goddamn putz standing there inna the middle of a the goddamn East Bumbleopolis with a the goddamn blonde she-hulk bench-pressed over his a goddamn head.


IPAMPILASH of the highest order, you crazy Italian... :D
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Postby Cpt Kirks 2pay on Sat Dec 02, 2006 2:47 am

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Postby Lady Sheridan on Sat Dec 02, 2006 7:30 pm

I was quite impressed with this answer. I would not have expected Stallone to be more up on geopolitics than your average college student.

It was just a coincidence that both these films came out at a time when Russia and America were reaching a cross roads in their relationships. What made the film work is that it really wasn't the soldier or the fighters that were the enemies, but the unseen government leaders and yes the climate at that time was very responsible for the successful box office receipts of these movies, but by no means do I think the simplistic approach of both these films had an effect on the collapse of the Soviet Union and the Cold War, but thanks for making me feel important.
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Postby DennisMM on Sat Dec 02, 2006 7:52 pm

Stallone is a very intelligent and canny man. He had to be, to get Rocky made with himself in the lead. His presence in so much trash cinema shouldn't lead us into the false conclusion that he is a bit of a dullard or uninformed. He's not Van Damme, after all.
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Postby Cpt Kirks 2pay on Sat Dec 02, 2006 9:12 pm

Thing is, he's done far too much cruddy action films with dire performances, that it's so hard for us to remember stuff like Rocky, and heh, even Copland (nearly 10 years ago now wasn't it? See.) that it feels like living in the past to say that Stallone has any noble qualities, and especially talent, and so it does feel harder to say good things about this guy.

I've tried to maintain, like you said Dennis, that you can't be a dumbass to not only get yourself in the lead as Rocky, but to write and direct those films to a good enough standard that you've created a hero that people love so much, to stand up shouting and cheering when they see the guy onscreen at the cinema. What Oscar winning actor or performance has managed to do that?

It's just a shame that he has done so much formulaic or commercial action crap along the lines of a Renny Harlin, and other films that misfire, let alone career straight to video lows such as Get Carter. All this time he should have let his credibility create more stuff like Copland. Fuck the massive blockbuster paychecks and all this excuse about keeping a huge movie star career going, we're the audience, we can complain and advise as much as we want, we pay for the films - but if he is gonna insist on doing $30 million whatever paycheck big films, at least try to choose them better. At least that way he'll be offered better.
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Postby TheBaxter on Sat Dec 02, 2006 11:53 pm

ok i just read the newest q&a.

what the fuck are the 3 seashells he's talking about?
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Postby thebostonlocksmith on Sat Dec 02, 2006 11:55 pm

They're in demolition man... in the future you wipe your ass with the three shells, and just as i'd perfected my own 'swoop and grab' technique which not only cleans the dirty area but will also alleviate your hoop area of 'nuggets'.
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Postby TheBaxter on Sat Dec 02, 2006 11:58 pm

i never saw that piece of shit. what do they do with the seashells that is so grotesque? please don't make me watch that crappy movie to find out.
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Postby thebostonlocksmith on Sun Dec 03, 2006 12:02 am

You don't see anything at all, it's just implied that everyone finds it funny that sly can't work out how to use them... It's genius.... You don't even get to see them...

Although the film is worth watching for the... no,no, i was right before it's terrible...


Someone ask about the contender, that's a show i quite like...
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Postby TheBaxter on Sun Dec 03, 2006 12:07 am

thebostonlocksmith wrote:They're in demolition man... in the future you wipe your ass with the three shells, and just as i'd perfected my own 'swoop and grab' technique which not only cleans the dirty area but will also alleviate your hoop area of 'nuggets'.


that seems kinda dumb. i mean, wouldn't the shells clog the toilet when you flush?
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Postby thebostonlocksmith on Sun Dec 03, 2006 12:11 am

I think the shells were a fixed appliance...

I don't believe they were meant to be flushed...

although there is a nomination for the worst acting thread from that film that you just reminded me of, where good ol' sly is trying to talk about sex and he refers to it as (in his voice please...)

"The wild mambo, the hunk chunka..."
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Postby Keepcoolbutcare on Sun Dec 03, 2006 1:16 pm

TheBaxter wrote:i never saw that piece of shit.


what, Demolition Man?

haven't seen it in years, but it wasn't all that bad.

and I thought you loved crappy cinema, didn't you just review a Uwe Boll film?
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Postby DennisMM on Sun Dec 03, 2006 7:52 pm

Demolition Man was silly, not awful. It certainly was better than Judge Dredd. The three shells were never explained because the mild amusement would have been killed, I guess. They really existed to combine with another running gag, the language violation robot. Whenever Stallone cursed it printed out a ticket. Since he couldn't use the shells, Stallone cursed repeatedly and took the tickets with him to the bathroom. Guffaws, I say.
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Postby Cpt Kirks 2pay on Sun Dec 10, 2006 9:57 pm

Who else is going to these Q&A sessions over at AICN!??!? Man these are fantastic!! I love these sessions (no not in that way! Don't start Havoc! I know what you'r gonna say!) There are so honest, brilliantly interesting with his behind the scenes stories and not just does he answer with terrific integrity, but is so ery very cleverly funny at the same time. Seriously, this guy is so hilarious in his writing.

Like when he compared getting hit in the chest by Dolph Lungdren to having a car crash. 'I guess you could say I was hit by A Streetcar Named Dolph'HAHAHAHAHAAAA!!!!!!!

CHECK IT OUT GUYS HERE!!

Also, below is a quote that Harry said about Rocky Balboa! YOU WILL HAVE SOME ENTHUSIASM FOR THIS FILM YOU HEARTLESS, ONLY INTERESTED IN COMIC MOVIES, LOST, UWE BOLL, BRUCE CAMPBELL, CHAN FOOK PARK, ORANGE HAMSTER BOOTS, BASTARDS!!!!


Harry Knowles wrote:HOLY SHIT! ROCKY BALBOA IS POSSIBLY MY FAVORITE FILM EXPERIENCE OF THE YEAR. The Audience Chanting Rocky... people pumping arms in the air in the theater, sceaming "ROCKY ROCKY ROCKY!" Stallone looking like Edgar Rick Burrough's MUCKER or John Ford's Gypo Nolan. I love ROCKY BALBOA so much. I simply HAVE to see it multiple times to see if that emotion and reaction from the audience works on me again and again. AB KING - Prepare for both your heads to explode like a testosterone fountain at George Cukor's mansion back in the day.
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Postby Peven on Sun Dec 10, 2006 10:05 pm

i am with you, Kirk, i really enjoy the down-to-earth way he is answering the questions, with the occasional self-depricating remark thrown in here and there. while reading it you really get the feeling you are getting a true look into who he is, what he is like.
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Postby WinslowLeach on Sun Dec 10, 2006 10:05 pm

I think its awesome that Sly is doing these Q & A things. I dont see it as a hitting the bottom of the barrel type deal, hes just communicating with all his fans. I think more big actors/directors should do that on AICN. I love hearing all his stories about working in the biz and I cant wait to see Rocky Balboa!
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Postby Peven on Sun Dec 10, 2006 10:07 pm

i think i may even take my kids to see Rocky Balboa for Christmas, especially if LS and JL give it high marks.
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Postby Cpt Kirks 2pay on Sun Dec 10, 2006 10:15 pm

Yeah guys, I've heard the usual stories about him on set like firing his Judge Dredd stand in on the set of the movie, Judge Dredd, 'cos he was chatting up Stallone's chick and was bigger than him etc., but here we are getting not just Stallone's point of view and side of the story of the movie life, but it is also showing him to be a real good guy, overall. He seems to have a lot of dignity through his cynical view of things throughout. Sometimes it's too good to be true and you wonder if it's made up. You know, Harry doing a Supershadow and making up those George Lucas interviews, and all the other SW stars interviews too.


I've heard Stallone can be a bit of a Wanker, but here he seems like a cool guy you can hang out with. Just on this alone, he is once again put himself above the likes of Arnie and Bruce Willis, etc. He also reminds you of how cool he was in the early days of his career.

- And damn, how do some of this one liners have me LOLing! 'Punched Briggite Neillsen and married Ivan Drago'! Oh, and in putting the actors in the order of who would win a fight he said, 'Dolph, me, Mr T, Paulie, Apollo'. Paulie over ApolloAHAHAHAHAAA!!!!!!!!!!

Another link of encouragement to go and check it out again. It lists all the earlier Q&A rounds too! It ain't too late to submit a question too gang! I did a couple.
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Postby Peven on Sun Dec 10, 2006 10:22 pm

the line about punching Bridgette Nielsen and marrying Drago had me laughing my ass off.
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Postby colonel_lugz on Mon Dec 11, 2006 5:35 am

All of these Stallone Q and As have been enlightening, though provoking anf hilarious. Sly comes across as such a cool, rounded guy who isn't affraid to admit he has made mistakes and that he has learnt from them. This has been a tremendously cool thing for AICN to do and I hope it's a trend we will see with other big names in the future.
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Postby Doc Holliday on Mon Dec 11, 2006 9:12 am

I'm really enjoying the Q&A's.

I've submitted 9 questions so far and none of them have made it - though two of them went up as asked by some other fan using similar words.

If I don't get any answered, then my last question will be "Do you want a slap?" - but I hope to spare his blushes and for things not to come to that....

(though I guess his retort would simply be 'couldn't you think up anything interesting to ask?')
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Postby WinslowLeach on Mon Dec 11, 2006 10:10 am

Sly does have a great sense of humor. I was laffing when he was talking about when he was shooting Lords of Flatbush Richard Gere had that piece of greasy chicken with the mustard and was being a jerk.

I dont know if anyone saw when Sly hosted SNL a few years back. It was hilarious.
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