Alternate reality actors

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Alternate reality actors

Postby judderman on Sun Mar 08, 2009 9:24 am

If the dice had rolled differently...

If Rip Torn had won Jack Nicholson's role in Easy Rider, would Torn have gone from Five Easy Pieces to headlining for Scorsese while Nicholson ended up on Larry Sanders?

If Melanie Lynsky had gone from Heavenly Creatures to securing 6 Oscar noms by the age of 33 and starring in the biggest blockbuster of all time, would Kate Winslet be playing second fiddle to Charlie Sheen in a tasteless sitcom?

If Lawrence Fishburne had agreed to play the role that Quentin Terantino wrote for him in Pulp Fiction, or managed to snag the sidekick role in Die Hard With a Vengeance he was initially offered, would Samuel L Jackson have been Morpheus?

If Emily Watson had won the role of Elizabeth I in Elizabeth, would Cate Blanchett now be trying to seduce Phillip Seymour Hoffman in Synechdoche New York? Or if she had secured the role that Jean-pierre Jeunet wrote and named for her, would Audrey Tautou have fallen for Adam Sandler in Punch Drunk Love?

If Tom Selleck had played Indiana Jones, would Harrison Ford have been Magnum? Or if Christopher Walken had played Han Solo, would it have been Ford attempting to brutally murder Michelle Pfieffer? Oh, never mind.
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Re: Alternate reality actors

Postby Cpt Kirks 2pay on Sun Mar 08, 2009 10:19 am

If Kurt Russel did get the role to play the 80s Flash Gordon would he be trying to earn a crummy living signing autographs for that farking overrated movie and trying to live down wearing a farking woman's leotard throughout that movie?

If Andy Garcia or Alec Baldwin had played Harrison Ford's Richard Kimble in The Fugitive would ANY OF THE AFORE MENTIONED ACTORS actually be doing ANY successful acting these days!?!?

if Roy Scheider got out of his contractual obligation to do Jaws 2 and not let that stop him from playing Michael in The Deer Hunter, would he now be a studly bastard actor sleepwalking through his movies after he kicked in all the fighters in the world, his wife, his brother, his kids, even his goldfish, his director and even all the people in the world who voted his Best Actor Oscar and who even SAW Raging Bull? Or would Robert De Niro now be dead from cancer or heart attack from having repeated nightmares about that Great White Shark and having to work with it on so many countless sequels/prequels that you guys pretend to despise but still lap up at any given moment like a dog being fed it's own shit? Star Trek Prequel anyone!?

IF ONLY ELLEN PAGE FARKING DID THAT LESBIAN VAMPIRE FLICK CALLED JACK AND DIANE AND ALSO DID DRAG ME TO HELL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Re: Alternate reality actors

Postby Cpt Kirks 2pay on Sun Mar 08, 2009 10:24 am

judderman wrote:
If Lawrence Fishburne had agreed to play the role that Quentin Terantino wrote for him in Pulp Fiction, or managed to snag the sidekick role in Die Hard With a Vengeance he was initially offered, would Samuel L Jackson have been Morpheus?


All I know is that Laurence Fishburne RUINED the SW prequels with his Mace Windu and bullying Steven Spielberg into letting him apparently kick in a skinny Anthony Hopkins as The Emporer.
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Re: Alternate reality actors

Postby minstrel on Sun Mar 08, 2009 2:55 pm

judderman wrote:If Tom Selleck had played Indiana Jones, would Harrison Ford have been Magnum? Or if Christopher Walken had played Han Solo, would it have been Ford attempting to brutally murder Michelle Pfieffer? Oh, never mind.


If Tom Selleck had played Indiana Jones, we would have been spared a couple of embarrassing sequels. If Christopher Walken had played Han Solo, Harrison Ford would be making his living as a carpenter while attempting to brutally murder Christopher Walken.
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Re: Alternate reality actors

Postby Nachokoolaid on Sun Mar 08, 2009 6:11 pm

Cpt Kirks 2pay wrote:
If Andy Garcia or Alec Baldwin had played Harrison Ford's Richard Kimble in The Fugitive would ANY OF THE AFORE MENTIONED ACTORS actually be doing ANY successful acting these days!?!?



I'd argue that Alec Baldwin is in a better place at this point in his career than Ford.
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Re: Alternate reality actors

Postby Fievel on Sun Mar 08, 2009 6:54 pm

If John Belushi had co-starred in Spies Like Us, would Chevy Chase have died of a speedball overdose?
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Re: Alternate reality actors

Postby Fried Gold on Sun Mar 08, 2009 7:22 pm

If Dustin Hoffman had played Deckard in Blade Runner, would he also gone on to portray the President of the United States of Action in Air Force One?
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Re: Alternate reality actors

Postby Cpt Kirks 2pay on Sun Mar 08, 2009 7:51 pm

Fried Gold wrote:If Dustin Hoffman had played Deckard in Blade Runner, would he also gone on to portray the President of the United States of Action in Air Force One?


Even if he did, For reversed things back t normal when he turned down Colonels Daniel's part in Outbreak and let Hoffman play him instead.

If John Belushi were alive, would Bill Murray have a career? Apparently he was Belushi's replacement for a few or couple of films when John died.

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Re: Alternate reality actors

Postby Bayouwolf on Sun Mar 08, 2009 7:57 pm

If Will Ferrell had actually put his head through a car window in "Night at the Roxbury" giving himself a massive concussion, lapsing into a coma and awaking 10 years later, would we have been subjected to "Elf", starring Darrell Hammond?

And once awoken, would he actually make a funny flick?
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Re: Alternate reality actors

Postby Fried Gold on Sun Mar 08, 2009 7:59 pm

If Jon Finch had played Kane, would the famous chest-burster scene in Alien become one of the most memorable in cinematic history, and propelled Finch to a career of detailed character roles?
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Re: Alternate reality actors

Postby Cpt Kirks 2pay on Sun Mar 08, 2009 8:19 pm

If Peter O Toole had played Tron (just paid £4 for it and just watched it), would it actually be a good film and not need to be remade?
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Re: Alternate reality actors

Postby Seppuku on Sun Mar 08, 2009 8:29 pm

Cpt Kirks 2pay wrote:If Peter O Toole had played Tron (just paid £4 for it and just watched it), would it actually be a good film and not need to be remade?


If Peter O'Toole were cloned a 1000 times and made to star in every otherwise shit movie that's ever been released, it would be considered sacrilege to even think about remaking any of them. Especially if he were allowed to get blind drunk on set (when the clone's liver caves in, you just send out another clone in its place).
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Re: Alternate reality actors

Postby Seppuku on Sun Mar 08, 2009 8:40 pm

Here's five near-misses that would have changed pop culture irrevocably:

Michael Madsen as Vincent Vega.
Sean Connery as Gandalf.
Steve McQueen as Sundance (The Sting Film Festival doesn't quite have the same ring to it)
Will Smith as Neo
And Cary Grant as James Bond (this one would probably have changed the world for the better!)
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Re: Alternate reality actors

Postby Cpt Kirks 2pay on Sun Mar 08, 2009 9:06 pm

OOOoooooohh they're goooooddd!

The repercussions would be disastrous!

Though John Travolta can just fuck OFF in anything he does!

Also Ewan McGregor was approached to be Neo too. Perhaps Star Wars and Matrix and their fans could be friends, and live in peace? But then there would be no Star Wars and Matrix if peace existed? I just can't win at war.

What if Leonardo DecaIamanuntimidatingbabyfacedactor was to be Patrick Bateman in American Psycho? Would he still be alive and not killed by all of us before we killed ourselves like Pyschos?

Or if he got to be Anakin like he said he wanted to?


On another not so relate note, Colonel Lugz wants Shia Le Bouf to play The Gunslinger in a film adaptation of The Dark Tower.


What a WANKER!!!
Last edited by Cpt Kirks 2pay on Sun Mar 08, 2009 9:11 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Alternate reality actors

Postby Cpt Kirks 2pay on Sun Mar 08, 2009 9:09 pm

judderman wrote:
If Lawrence Fishburne had agreed to play the role that Quentin Terantino wrote for him in Pulp Fiction, or managed to snag the sidekick role in Die Hard With a Vengeance he was initially offered, would Samuel L Jackson have been Morpheus?


Even better than that, what if Ricahrd Gere DIDN'T turn down John McClane as he didn't think the script was too violent? Would Bruce WIllis have a gerbil up his ass too?
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Re: Alternate reality actors

Postby Spandau Belly on Sun Mar 08, 2009 10:23 pm

If Harvey Keitel had finished the shoot on Eyes Wide Shut would he have died and Sydney Pollack have lived and who's wang would we have seen?
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Re: Alternate reality actors

Postby DennisMM on Sun Mar 08, 2009 11:29 pm

If Martin Sheen's heart attack had truly sidelined him, would Coppola have re-hired Harvey Keitel to play Captain Willard? And would Brando have consented to complete his role? If not, would Robert Redford have ceded to pressure and grudgingly flown to the Philippines to take over the role of Kurtz? And, given this, would Keitel have gone on to do voice-overs for car commercials and Sheen died in a Manila hospital raving about his destiny as President of the United States?
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Re: Alternate reality actors

Postby DerLanghaarige on Mon Mar 09, 2009 12:04 pm

If Ryan Reynolds would have been the new cast member in 'Two Guys, A Girl And A Pizza Place' somewhere in Season 2 or 3 and not Nathan Fillion, would have Fillion been Hollywood's new hyped superstar for one or two years and meanwhile mostly forgotten although he is about to co-star in the new Wolverine-movie, while Reynolds would be the unfortunately commercial unsuccessful Fanboy favourite from Firefly and Slither?

And if Christy Carlson-Romano and not her 'Even Steven's Co-star Shia LaBeouf would be the new superstar and Spielberg-favourite, would she have played Megan Fox' character in 'Transformers' or would it be a movie about a girl and her first car? And would Indy have a daughter instead of a son?
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Re: Alternate reality actors

Postby Fried Gold on Mon Mar 09, 2009 3:46 pm

What if Morgan Freeman had not been cast as Red in The Shawshank Redemption? Would Clint Eastwood have gone to become the voice of authority in 58 further films?
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Re: Alternate reality actors

Postby DennisMM on Mon Mar 09, 2009 5:20 pm

Fried Gold wrote:What if Morgan Freeman had not been cast as Red in The Shawshank Redemption? Would Clint Eastwood have gone to become the voice of authority in 58 further films?


Ridiculous. How could Eastwood have played Red? He's not Irish.
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Re: Alternate reality actors

Postby minstrel on Wed Mar 11, 2009 1:48 am

DennisMM wrote:
Fried Gold wrote:What if Morgan Freeman had not been cast as Red in The Shawshank Redemption? Would Clint Eastwood have gone to become the voice of authority in 58 further films?


Ridiculous. How could Eastwood have played Red? He's not Irish.


And Eastwood would have escaped, bringing the whole damn prison down as he leaves, while growling "Man's gotta know his limitations."

Or "Go ahead. Dig my escape tunnel."

Or "There are two kinds of men in the world. Those with loaded guns, and those who dig. You ... dig."
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Re: Alternate reality actors

Postby Cpt Kirks 2pay on Wed Mar 11, 2009 7:37 pm

If Ellen Page had done Drag Me To Hell instead of Alison Lohman would the Devil now be dead and all life as I knew it would be one big shrieking farking orgas.......offarkit - ELLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEENNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Re: Alternate reality actors

Postby havocSchultz on Wed Mar 11, 2009 7:46 pm

Cpt Kirks 2pay wrote:If Ellen Page had done Drag Me To Hell instead of Alison Lohman would the Devil now be dead and all life as I knew it would be one big shrieking farking orgas.......offarkit - ELLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEENNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Well...I know the film wouldn't be as nice to look at...
That's for fuck sure!
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Re: Alternate reality actors

Postby Cpt Kirks 2pay on Wed Mar 11, 2009 7:53 pm

havocSchultz wrote:
Cpt Kirks 2pay wrote:If Ellen Page had done Drag Me To Hell instead of Alison Lohman would the Devil now be dead and all life as I knew it would be one big shrieking farking orgas.......offarkit - ELLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEENNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Well...I know the film wouldn't be as nice to look at...
That's for fuck sure!


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