What Would Movie Makers Think If They Read The Phantom Zone?

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Re: What Would Movie Makers Think If They Read The Phantom Z

Postby Nachokoolaid on Thu Jan 24, 2013 12:19 am

Who the hell awakened this thread from the dead?

Reading over it, I got all nostalgic for those days when Kirk and I would go at it.

VERBALLY, you sickos!
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Re: What Would Movie Makers Think If They Read The Phantom Z

Postby Al Shut on Thu Jan 24, 2013 5:07 am

Nachokoolaid wrote:VERBALLY, you sickos!


I think you protest too much.

And another legend is born.
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Re: What Would Movie Makers Think If They Read The Phantom Z

Postby King Of Nowhere on Thu Jan 24, 2013 6:00 pm

Al Shut wrote:
Nachokoolaid wrote:VERBALLY, you sickos!


I think you protest too much.

And another legend is born.


Kirk's arsehole is already a thing of legend.

Some say it always faces magnetic north...

Some say it was present for the assassination of Julius Caesar...

Some say it was speaker for the House of Commons for a brief period during the 1980's...

Some say if you look directly at it, you'll turn to stone...

Some say it's machine washable...

Some say the catholic church have banned it on grounds of blasphemy...

Some say it has been home to a small family of gerbils...

Some say it used a false-flag operation on the Reichstag in order to invade Poland...

Some say the zaptruder footage clearly shows it going back and to the left...

Some say it holds a Kenyan passport...

Some classify it as one of the seven trumpets spoken of in John's Revelation...

Some say David Icke is writing a book about it...

Some say it was "rosebud"...

Some people call it the space cowboy...

Some call it the gangster of love...

Some people call it "Maurice"...

Some say it fits like a glove...

What Would Movie Makers Think If They Read The Phantom Zone?

"WHAT THE FUCK HAVE I JUST CLICKED ON?", I imagine.
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Re: What Would Movie Makers Think If They Read The Phantom Z

Postby travis-dane on Thu Jan 24, 2013 7:01 pm

All we know is, he's called the Stig.
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Re: What Would Movie Makers Think If They Read The Phantom Z

Postby TheBaxter on Fri Jan 25, 2013 10:40 am

if movie makers read the zone, they'd realize that they're wrong about everything and that we're right about everything. every currently active director would retire from directing forever, and the heads of all the movie studios would resign their posts. those movie studios would then hire, respectively, Cpt Kirks 2Pay, Peven, and the entire OLEG crew to preside over their studios, giving them all the decision-making power to make whatever movies they see fit, in whatever manner they choose. within 3 years, 2 of those studios would be bankrupt and one (oddly, the one headed by Kirks) would be barely breaking even, only to go under when Kirks announces his decision to retire from filmmaking in order to live among the otters as one of them for his remaining years on this earth. shortly thereafter, the entire film industry collapses. this results in a worldwide epic of depression and suicide, decimating the human population of the earth, which within a generation will be reduced to a mere 10% of it's current population. Kirks will then return with his otter army to overthrow and enslave the human race, leading to the inevitable Rise of the Planet of the Otters. one brave human soul (code name: TheBaxter) who was sent to space shortly before the Otterpocalypse, as it comes to be known, will return after having been frozen in space for a millenium as the result of a lover's dispute with his sentient computer companion, HALMA Sayek 9000, that causes her to turn the space capsule into a giant refrigerator. upon returning, he will wander the planet for several years, unaware he has returned to his home planet of earth until he stumbles upon an unmistakably recognizable artifact of human history, the Giant Ball of Yarn in Cawker City, Kansas. this discovery causes him to mutter, "hmm. maniacs. they did it. meh." as he turns around to walk away, suddenly the film stops rolling and M Night Shyamalan jumps out into frame and looks at the audience and exclaims "HAHA! I GOT YOU!!!! and they said i didn't have any brilliant films left in me anymore! guess i proved them wrong!"

so, in other words, do not allow filmmakers to read this forum, or reality will turn into a really bad M Night twist ending.
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Re: What Would Movie Makers Think If They Read The Phantom Z

Postby Spandau Belly on Fri Jan 25, 2013 11:26 am

TheBaxter wrote:those movie studios would then hire, respectively, Cpt Kirks 2Pay, Peven, and the entire OLEG crew to preside over their studios, giving them all the decision-making power to make whatever movies they see fit, in whatever manner they choose.


I resent being lumped in with Peven. Come on man, what did I ever do to you?

But I agree that if I (and the other OLEG guys) were given funding and complete creative control to make movies, I doubt any of them would be profitable.
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Re: What Would Movie Makers Think If They Read The Phantom Z

Postby Bloo on Fri Jan 25, 2013 12:27 pm

Spandau Belly wrote:
TheBaxter wrote:those movie studios would then hire, respectively, Cpt Kirks 2Pay, Peven, and the entire OLEG crew to preside over their studios, giving them all the decision-making power to make whatever movies they see fit, in whatever manner they choose.


I resent being lumped in with Peven. Come on man, what did I ever do to you?

But I agree that if I (and the other OLEG guys) were given funding and complete creative control to make movies, I doubt any of them would be profitable.


But they would be AWESOME
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Re: What Would Movie Makers Think If They Read The Phantom Z

Postby Spandau Belly on Fri Jan 25, 2013 12:43 pm

Yeah, Golan Globus went bankrupt, but they left us with so many great memories.
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Re: What Would Movie Makers Think If They Read The Phantom Z

Postby Al Shut on Fri Jan 25, 2013 12:49 pm

Spandau Belly wrote:But I agree that if I (and the other OLEG guys) were given funding and complete creative control to make movies, I doubt any of them would be profitable.


Admit it, you'd make a movie out of Baxters post.
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Re: What Would Movie Makers Think If They Read The Phantom Z

Postby TheBaxter on Fri Jan 25, 2013 12:53 pm

Al Shut wrote:
Spandau Belly wrote:But I agree that if I (and the other OLEG guys) were given funding and complete creative control to make movies, I doubt any of them would be profitable.


Admit it, you'd make a movie out of Baxters post.


only if Dolph Lundgren played TheBaxter. which, actually, would be some pretty spot-on casting.
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Re: What Would Movie Makers Think If They Read The Phantom Z

Postby Spandau Belly on Fri Jan 25, 2013 2:14 pm

Al Shut wrote:
Spandau Belly wrote:But I agree that if I (and the other OLEG guys) were given funding and complete creative control to make movies, I doubt any of them would be profitable.


Admit it, you'd make a movie out of Baxters post.


I would greenlight that in a second. But no CGI otters. All practical effects.
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Re: What Would Movie Makers Think If They Read The Phantom Z

Postby travis-dane on Fri Jan 25, 2013 2:43 pm

TheBaxter wrote:
Al Shut wrote:
Spandau Belly wrote:But I agree that if I (and the other OLEG guys) were given funding and complete creative control to make movies, I doubt any of them would be profitable.


Admit it, you'd make a movie out of Baxters post.


only if Dolph Lundgren played TheBaxter. which, actually, would be some pretty spot-on casting.

8-)
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Re: What Would Movie Makers Think If They Read The Phantom Z

Postby TheBaxter on Fri Jan 25, 2013 3:13 pm

Spandau Belly wrote:
TheBaxter wrote:those movie studios would then hire, respectively, Cpt Kirks 2Pay, Peven, and the entire OLEG crew to preside over their studios, giving them all the decision-making power to make whatever movies they see fit, in whatever manner they choose.


I resent being lumped in with Peven. Come on man, what did I ever do to you?

But I agree that if I (and the other OLEG guys) were given funding and complete creative control to make movies, I doubt any of them would be profitable.


sorry but if it's any consolation, the 20th Century OLEG movie studio would outlast Pevenmount Pictures by at least a year.... largely due to Peven's decision to sink every last dime of the company's money into his pet project, Superman: A Life Kryptonic, directed by Wes Anderson, and starring Owen Wilson as a middle-aged, yuppie man of steel, bill murray in a quirky cameo as Jor-El, and Jason Schwarzmann as a hyper, hipster Lex Luthor. despite going on to win every single Oscar in every single category of the 2019 Academy Awards, it would end up grossing a mere $34 at the box office and becoming the biggest flop in film history since John Carter.
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Re: What Would Movie Makers Think If They Read The Phantom Z

Postby travis-dane on Fri Jan 25, 2013 4:53 pm

TheBaxter wrote:
Spandau Belly wrote:
TheBaxter wrote:those movie studios would then hire, respectively, Cpt Kirks 2Pay, Peven, and the entire OLEG crew to preside over their studios, giving them all the decision-making power to make whatever movies they see fit, in whatever manner they choose.


I resent being lumped in with Peven. Come on man, what did I ever do to you?

But I agree that if I (and the other OLEG guys) were given funding and complete creative control to make movies, I doubt any of them would be profitable.


sorry but if it's any consolation, the 20th Century OLEG movie studio would outlast Pevenmount Pictures by at least a year.... largely due to Peven's decision to sink every last dime of the company's money into his pet project, Superman: A Life Kryptonic, directed by Wes Anderson, and starring Owen Wilson as a middle-aged, yuppie man of steel, bill murray in a quirky cameo as Jor-El, and Jason Schwarzmann as a hyper, hipster Lex Luthor. despite going on to win every single Oscar in every single category of the 2019 Academy Awards, it would end up grossing a mere $34 at the box office and becoming the biggest flop in film history since John Carter.


We on the other hand would make a good RoboCop sequel. and of course The Warsaw Symphony.
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Re: What Would Movie Makers Think If They Read The Phantom Z

Postby Peven on Sat Jan 26, 2013 8:35 am

TheBaxter wrote:
Spandau Belly wrote:
TheBaxter wrote:those movie studios would then hire, respectively, Cpt Kirks 2Pay, Peven, and the entire OLEG crew to preside over their studios, giving them all the decision-making power to make whatever movies they see fit, in whatever manner they choose.


I resent being lumped in with Peven. Come on man, what did I ever do to you?

But I agree that if I (and the other OLEG guys) were given funding and complete creative control to make movies, I doubt any of them would be profitable.


sorry but if it's any consolation, the 20th Century OLEG movie studio would outlast Pevenmount Pictures by at least a year.... largely due to Peven's decision to sink every last dime of the company's money into his pet project, Superman: A Life Kryptonic, directed by Wes Anderson, and starring Owen Wilson as a middle-aged, yuppie man of steel, bill murray in a quirky cameo as Jor-El, and Jason Schwarzmann as a hyper, hipster Lex Luthor. despite going on to win every single Oscar in every single category of the 2019 Academy Awards, it would end up grossing a mere $34 at the box office and becoming the biggest flop in film history since John Carter.


WRONG. I would make a DD movie, with Ben Affleck directing this time, Mila Kunis as Elektra, Karl Urban as DD/Matt Murdock, Rutger Hauer as Stick, and have them shoot the whole movie over in Hong Kong........





.......and then I would have Wes Anderson direct "X-Men:The Last Origins Class"
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Re: What Would Movie Makers Think If They Read The Phantom Z

Postby minstrel on Sat Jan 26, 2013 12:32 pm

I'd make a movie in which my Insquirrelgency would fend of Kirks' Otterpocalypse ...
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Re: What Would Movie Makers Think If They Read The Phantom Z

Postby TheButcher on Wed Jan 30, 2013 10:37 am

minstrel wrote:I'd make a movie in which my Insquirrelgency would fend of Kirks' Otterpocalypse ...

Otterpopalypse 2013!
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