What is your LEAST favorite Kevin Smith film?

Which director made the best films, made the best visuals, or smelled the best? This is the forum to find out.

What is your LEAST favorite Kevin Smith film?

clerks
2
3%
mallrats
12
20%
chasing amy
13
21%
dogma
7
11%
jay and silent bob strike back
13
21%
jersey girl
10
16%
clerks 2
4
7%
 
Total votes : 61

What is your LEAST favorite Kevin Smith film?

Postby so sorry on Thu Aug 11, 2005 12:52 pm

Just to throw a little twist to the normal 'best-of' polls, I'd like to hear your opinions on your LEAST favorite Kevin Smith flick.
(incidentally, I'm choking Kevin Smith in my avatar).
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Postby DinoDeLaurentiis on Thu Aug 11, 2005 1:10 pm

What... no Jersey Girl??

(The Dino, he hadda to do it... someone, they always a complain about a the missed choice, eh?)
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Postby so sorry on Thu Aug 11, 2005 1:26 pm

sorry dino, i did have jersey girl as the last choice, but it didn't take for some reason. and you can't edit polls.
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Postby MasterWhedon on Thu Aug 11, 2005 1:29 pm

DinoDeLaurentiis wrote:What... no Jersey Girl??

(The Dino, he hadda to do it... someone, they always a complain about a the missed choice, eh?)


Yeah, but Dino, you picked the right one. Jersey Girl is easily his weakest movie. I'd rank them, favorite to least:

Chasing Amy
Mallrats
Dogma
Clerks
Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back
Jersey Girl
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Postby so sorry on Thu Aug 11, 2005 1:31 pm

ah shit, I how could i forget Jay and Silent Bob too!!!! I fucking hated that piece of shit!
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Postby WinslowLeach on Thu Aug 11, 2005 1:32 pm

I'm not a Smith fan really but my least favorite is Mallrats. Oh I forgot Jay and Silent Slob Suck Ass too. That was really lame.

So Sorry, on the polls for some reason you have to put an extra option space at the end for it to show the last option. So after you write Jersey Girl, hit the Option button one more time.
Last edited by WinslowLeach on Thu Aug 11, 2005 1:36 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Postby MasterWhedon on Thu Aug 11, 2005 1:33 pm

so sorry wrote:ah shit, I how could i forget Jay and Silent Bob too!!!! I fucking hated that piece of shit!


so sorry, it's the Arse Spasms that make you hate pieces of shit. Moments of levity actually cause you pain.
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Postby so sorry on Thu Aug 11, 2005 1:41 pm

you got it backwords oh master of the whedon... its these pieces of shit that GIVES me arse spasms!
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Postby burlivesleftnut on Thu Aug 11, 2005 2:54 pm

How come there's no choice for ALL OF THEM?
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Postby wonkabar on Thu Aug 11, 2005 2:59 pm

Yeah , I kept endlessly clicking all the buttons as fast as could to no avail.
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Postby so sorry on Thu Aug 11, 2005 3:02 pm

wow, are there fellow Smith-haters here? I thought i was the only one...
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Postby burlivesleftnut on Thu Aug 11, 2005 3:05 pm

so sorry wrote:wow, are there fellow Smith-haters here? I thought i was the only one...

Well I never liked him, but I have noticed the tide has turned for that unfunny, studly fuck.
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Postby so sorry on Thu Aug 11, 2005 3:08 pm

i loved clerks many many years ago, but it didn't age well (with me). every movie he's made since has become more obnoxious and self-gratifying. i loathe him and his studly pompous ass and all his little croanies.
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Postby burlivesleftnut on Thu Aug 11, 2005 3:11 pm

I am just posting to agree with you because I am tired of being lyra's bitch... but good thoughts anyway. Although I never even liked Clerks.
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Postby wonkabar on Thu Aug 11, 2005 3:14 pm

He's funny in person. But goddamn, even when Clerks came out, all my friends were telling me how great it was, and I was like...this is the dumbest dialogue ever, what the fuck is wrong with you people?
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Postby so sorry on Thu Aug 11, 2005 3:29 pm

i guess clerks bothers me the least because i can forgive the bad acting because he had nonactors in it. but to keep using the same lame-o's in his 'real' movies is what made them stink even more.
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Postby MasterWhedon on Thu Aug 11, 2005 3:31 pm

Whoa, whoa, let's not kill the guy here...

Smith's stuff is pretty sophomoric and crude, but often in very, very clever ways. He's smart "dumb", in all the best ways and a few of the worst.

He's a very intelligent guy and funny as hell in person (check out the Evening with Kevin Smith DVD if you've never seen him). He's a weak director, though he's getting marginally stronger, and his writing is very precise. Sure, his characters are mouthpieces for uniform Kevin Smith-speak, but he's written some of my favorite dialogue bits of all time.

His films have taken a slight nose dive in terms of quality, but I do look forward to Clerks 2.

Chasing Amy is a beautiful little film, filled with heart and substance. There are deep, strong conversations in there about love and life, plus the occasional comic book reference. Good stuff.

Anyway, you're all welcome to hate the guy, I just happen to disagree.
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Postby burlivesleftnut on Thu Aug 11, 2005 3:34 pm

MasterWhedon wrote:Whoa, whoa, let's not kill the guy here...

Smith's stuff is pretty sophomoric and crude, but often in very, very clever ways. He's smart "dumb", in all the best ways and a few of the worst.

He's a very intelligent guy and funny as hell in person (check out the Evening with Kevin Smith DVD if you've never seen him). He's a weak director, though he's getting marginally stronger, and his writing is very precise. Sure, his characters are mouthpieces for uniform Kevin Smith-speak, but he's written some of my favorite dialogue bits of all time.

His films have taken a slight nose dive in terms of quality, but I do look forward to Clerks 2.

Chasing Amy is a beautiful little film, filled with heart and substance. There are deep, strong conversations in there about love and life, plus the occasional comic book reference. Good stuff.

Anyway, you're all welcome to hate the guy, I just happen to disagree.


NO! We will not rest until you hate him too! :P
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Postby so sorry on Thu Aug 11, 2005 3:37 pm

i think the 'deepest strongest conversations about love and life' came from chasing amy where Holden tells his girl and banky that he has to have a three way in order to get thru there problems. brilliant. just genious. I also blame kevin smith for Ben Affleck.
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Postby MasterWhedon on Thu Aug 11, 2005 3:41 pm

burlivesleftnut wrote:NO! We will not rest until you hate him too! :P


Burl, after being Lyra's Bitch for a week or so, I'm kinda scared to know where that tongue's been...
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Postby burlivesleftnut on Thu Aug 11, 2005 3:44 pm

You just made me vomit a little. THX
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Postby wonkabar on Thu Aug 11, 2005 3:45 pm

Yeah, I can see why some people would dig his lines. It's just too unrealistic-sounding to me. Some of the SW and comic references are cool, he even points his finger at us, but I just wish he wouldn't go so over the top. He just gets a little too cute for his own good. He IS funny and smart and has some great ideas, but he needs some restraint. He's actually kinda like Lucas himself in that way. Good ideas....half-assed execution. I AM a ball-licker!
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Postby MasterWhedon on Thu Aug 11, 2005 3:51 pm

wonkabar wrote:Yeah, I can see why some people would dig his lines. It's just too unrealistic-sounding to me. Some of the SW and comic references are cool, he even points his finger at us, but I just wish he wouldn't go so over the top. He just gets a little too cute for his own good. He IS funny and smart and has some great ideas, but he needs some restraint. He's actually kinda like Lucas himself in that way. Good ideas....half-assed execution. I AM a ball-licker!


I very much agree, though not necessarily about Lucas or the ball-licking.
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Postby burlivesleftnut on Thu Aug 11, 2005 3:54 pm

One of my big beefs with Smith is that even if the dialogue is good, which I don't think it is, he is a SHIT director and so whoever he casts just delivers the dialogue the way they want. It comes across and stilted, unrealistic and even humorous set ups fall flat. He needs a better way to communicate with his actors to get more out of them.

Also, has one of his scripts ever been produced for another director? Just curious.
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Postby Keepcoolbutcare on Thu Aug 11, 2005 3:58 pm

so sorry wrote:i loved clerks many many years ago, but it didn't age well (with me). every movie he's made since has become more obnoxious and self-gratifying. i loathe him and his studly pompous ass and all his little croanies.


Yeah, after Clerks it was all downhill.

But to all you Clerks haters...any of you work in the service industry? I know Burl said he was a waiter for a while, but I can figure his hatred (ugly, ugly actors...some poor camerawork, just no fabulousness too it) what's the deal with the rest of you? I can understand the movie not aging well with you So Sorry because the jokes will become played after a while, but aren't they still great jokes?

I'm just dissappointed that he never reached the brilliance of Clerks again. He still writes good jokes, but he seems like a one-trick pony.

But some of you are making it out like he's anally raped your mother while pouring sugar down your gas tank.
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Postby Lord Voldemoo on Thu Aug 11, 2005 4:01 pm

The definitive ranking (as it applies to myself):

1) Clerks
2) Chasing Amy
3) Dogma
4) Mallrats
5) Jersey Girl
6) Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back
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Postby burlivesleftnut on Thu Aug 11, 2005 4:03 pm

But some of you are making it out like he's anally raped your mother while pouring sugar down your gas tank.

Perhaps he did... thanks for opening up old wounds. Thanks alot.

And I didn't like clerks because it was fabulously underwhelming. I think it was overhyped, and while some of it was "cute", I basically sat there with a blank expression on my face for the running time.
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Postby Adam Balm on Thu Aug 11, 2005 4:08 pm

Jersey Girl was like eating vanilla icecream. It's nothing special but it's not openly fucking hostile to your tastebuds.

Jay and Silent Bob, for me, was like eating vanilla icecream with a big orange turd in it.
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Postby Lord Voldemoo on Thu Aug 11, 2005 4:10 pm

burlivesleftnut wrote:And I didn't like clerks because it was fabulously underwhelming. I think it was overhyped, and while some of it was "cute", I basically sat there with a blank expression on my face for the running time.


Agreed that Clerks is overhyped, I love the film despite all of its problems but many people make it out to be genius and I don't think it lives up to that, nor, do I think, was it intended to. It was intended to be cute and funny and tasteless and it succeeds in that where many films that make the same attempt do not.

If I'd seen the film after hearing all the hype I'd probably be disappointed too, but I'd heard virtually nothing about it when I saw it, so luckily I didn't suffer from the "Blair Witch" effect.
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Postby DinoDeLaurentiis on Thu Aug 11, 2005 4:11 pm

I did a love that part inna Chasing Amy where Banky tries a to justify his a job to a the fanboys...

Kevin Smith wrote:Fanboy: What’s a that mean - you ink it?

Banky: Well. She means that a the Holden, he draws a the pictures inna pencil, anna then a he gives it to a me to go over inna ink

Fanboy: So you just a trace, eh?

Banky: It’s not a tracing. I add a the depth anna the shading to give the image mere definition. Only then does the drawing, she really take a the shape.

Fanboy: You go over what a he draws with a the pen – that’s a the tracing!


You gotta admit, that's a pretty funny stuff! Hehehe
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Postby bluebottle on Thu Aug 11, 2005 4:12 pm

his dialogue is horrible and he doesn't know where to point a camera or direct actors.

the guy's a total hack.

NONE of his movies are even remotely entertaining.

the biggest overrated "indie" director EVER.

and because i'm in Canada, i had the pleasure of seeing him on the New Degrassi episodes (which i tuned in just to see KS, cuz i was curious) and HE. WAS. HORRIBLE.

flush that shit down the toilet, i say!

DOWN THE TOIDY!

heh. this feels like a TB.
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Postby wonkabar on Thu Aug 11, 2005 4:12 pm

I always wondered who he posted as on the outlander boards (you know he did). I wanted to ask at Comi-con, but this year he was in the big hall, it was like trying to address the fucking pope or some shit. Wait in line to say, "hey did you post as TKOTTB?" Most of the audience would be like, "huh" and he'd be "fuck you, tell me who the fuck you post as first bitch!" Then we'd both find out be like, "YOU!" and jump in the air and start flying at each other Big-trouble-in-little-china-style and screaming "DIE MOTHER-FUCKER DIE!"
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Postby wonkabar on Thu Aug 11, 2005 4:15 pm

Wow, that almost sounded like a scene from one of his movies.
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Postby TonyWilson on Thu Aug 11, 2005 4:49 pm

YOU ARE THE ONES WHO ARE THE BALL-LICKERS!!

Hell, maybe it's just me, I love Kevin Smith.

1.Dogma
2.Chasing Amy
3.Clerks
4.Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back
5.Mallrats

Although I think all of them are great.
Ok so they are visually boring and some dodgy acting. BUT, funny funny dumb ass dialogue, Jay Mewes is just a gift from the god of comedy. And heck any religious person who can understand and lampoon the problems with his faith in such a heartfelt yet acidic way must get some credit.

Umm I'm ready for the hate here people.
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Postby bluebottle on Thu Aug 11, 2005 4:51 pm

TonyWilson wrote:Umm I'm ready for the hate here people.


boo.

hate you.
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Postby MasterWhedon on Thu Aug 11, 2005 5:05 pm

Adam Balm wrote:Jersey Girl was like eating vanilla icecream. It's nothing special but it's not openly fucking hostile to your tastebuds.

Jay and Silent Bob, for me, was like eating vanilla icecream with a big orange turd in it.


Vanilla is actually my favorite flavor of ice cream.
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Postby bluebottle on Thu Aug 11, 2005 5:08 pm

MasterWhedon wrote:
Adam Balm wrote:Jersey Girl was like eating vanilla icecream. It's nothing special but it's not openly fucking hostile to your tastebuds.

Jay and Silent Bob, for me, was like eating vanilla icecream with a big orange turd in it.


Vanilla is actually my favorite flavor of ice cream.


but with a turd in it?

he did say it had a turd in it.

and an orange one... so i don't know if that's meant to be confusing, like, "hey what's that orange thing? maybe an orange! mmm, *bite* oh no! it's a turd! well, i'm taking this back... that's for sure."
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Postby MasterWhedon on Thu Aug 11, 2005 5:09 pm

Yeah, I don't know, I still really love the guy, much as I agree with some of your (collective) complaints. I just think back to the first time I saw Dogma and Jay and Silent Bob in the theater and how hard I laughed. I don't laugh that hard at most "comdies." Jay and Silent Bob is Smith's weakest upon repeat viewings, but I fondly remember those first belly laughs.
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Postby bluebottle on Thu Aug 11, 2005 5:25 pm

you know that he hates joss whedon, right?

once, i heard him say, "joss whedon thinks he's all that. but he's not. i'm kevin smith. my beard is itchy."

the SCUM.
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Postby MasterWhedon on Thu Aug 11, 2005 5:28 pm

He doesn't hate Joss. He actually really digs the Astonishing run, said so in a conversation with Joe Quesada. Except he calls Joss "Buffy" because he can't remember his name.
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Postby The Ginger Man on Thu Aug 11, 2005 8:52 pm

DinoDeLaurentiis wrote:I did a love that part inna Chasing Amy where Banky tries a to justify his a job to a the fanboys...

Kevin Smith wrote:Fanboy: What’s a that mean - you ink it?

Banky: Well. She means that a the Holden, he draws a the pictures inna pencil, anna then a he gives it to a me to go over inna ink

Fanboy: So you just a trace, eh?

Banky: It’s not a tracing. I add a the depth anna the shading to give the image mere definition. Only then does the drawing, she really take a the shape.

Fanboy: You go over what a he draws with a the pen – that’s a the tracing!


You gotta admit, that's a pretty funny stuff! Hehehe


I actually like the Kevin Smith. But even I must admit his films would be funnier if written in Dino-speak. Bra-fucking-vo.
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Postby kookook on Tue Aug 16, 2005 2:36 am

It's a really tough call between Clerks and Chasing Amy, but I voted for Chasing Amy because it has alot of relevance in my life. No repressed homosexuality or lesbians in my life, but I have played Banky a few times, getting all upset when my friends get or nearly get girlfriends and start spending too much time on them...

Very emotional movie.
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Postby Brocktune on Tue Aug 16, 2005 4:48 am

yeah, im glad to find out that im not the only one who generally dislikes all of Kevin Smiths work. I had heard about Clerks like everybody else, and felt it did not live up to the hype. i kind of feel the same way about all of his stuff. i feel like his dialogue is always trying to be flashy and witty, but lacks any real wit or substance. in addition, i hate having the whole supernerd thing flaunted in my face all the time. this may work for some, but i find it to be annoying and stupid. That adult swim show Mission Hill did the same thing too. like ok, i get it we are all nerds. And when its coming from the mouth of someone like Ben Affleck (see: Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back) well, i find it to be downright insulting.
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Postby wonkabar on Thu Aug 18, 2005 1:34 am

Hey Smith, I LOVE JESUS MORE THAN YOU FUCKER! Can anybody find out if KS got around to sucking KG's dick yet?
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Postby wonkabar on Thu Aug 18, 2005 1:56 am

I really do think Smith would be awsome for that star-wars show though....cuz he's a fan , and he knows what's up.
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Postby burlivesleftnut on Thu Aug 18, 2005 8:20 am

KG? Kyle Gass?
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Postby ThisIsTheGirl on Thu Aug 18, 2005 8:51 am

It's weird, but the one I've come to hate the most is Chasing Amy, just because it doesn't really have anything to say. I'll award anyone who can explain the message/theme of that movie with The Houses of Parliament! - It also proved rather painfully that Smith, while having a good ear for geeky fanboy dialogue, cannot write for women to save his life.

The whole movie just feels uncomfortably like one of Smith's wank-bank fantasies; a lesbian is "turned" simply because she meets the right guy. And the guy ultimately comes to "forgive" said lesbian's adolescent promiscuity because he realises that she doesn't want anybody as much as him. Then he blows it because he wants to have a 3some with the lesbian and his best friend. WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?

I mean, if Smith had wrapped the story in some kind of clever subtext which played with the fact that the storyline is clearly a male fantasy, I might have been impressed - but it always stops short of saying anything really interesting, and goes for the dick and fart jokes instead

Having said that - the scene where Affleck confesses his love is probably the most moving scene either the director or the actor has ever participated in.

So, no Chasing Amy for me thanks, but I thought the others are all harmless fun (precisely because they don't try too hard to make some sort of "point" about society in general) - Dogma being my favourite of the rest.

I haven't seen Jersey Girl, but I will one day, just for the sake of gestalt.
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Postby burlivesleftnut on Thu Aug 18, 2005 9:03 am

God, I just love that the geeks have finally turned on him. I am such a visionary. I knew this day would come and it brings me such voluminous joy.
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Postby so sorry on Thu Aug 18, 2005 9:10 am

that's why you are AIRWOLF burl....

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Postby burlivesleftnut on Thu Aug 18, 2005 9:16 am

so sorry wrote:Image


AHAHHAhHAHA
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