Simpsons Quotes

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Simpsons Quotes

Postby wharto on Tue Dec 13, 2005 6:22 pm

Just wondering if this hasn't been mentioned before (I am sure it must have been but I couldn't find it) what is everyone's favourite Simpsons quote???

My favourite is:
Marge: ' See Homer that's why your Robot didn't work'.
Last edited by wharto on Tue Dec 13, 2005 6:26 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Postby MasterWhedon on Tue Dec 13, 2005 6:24 pm

Best of my knowledge, it's new. I'm going to move it to Coaxial though. And you can edit your title to just "Simpsons Quotes".
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Postby so sorry on Tue Dec 13, 2005 6:29 pm

"To beer, the cause of, and solution to, all of life's problems"
-Homer Jay Simpson

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Postby Neya on Tue Dec 13, 2005 6:38 pm

"Well, I may not know much about God, but I have to say we built a pretty nice cage for Him."

Homer from Missionary Impossible
~Tonight I go as a Nemesis bearing just and blazingly cataclysmic vengance.~

I bake a good pie too.
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Postby vicious_bastard on Tue Dec 13, 2005 6:39 pm

Homer: Don't let Krusty's death get you down, boy. People die all the time. Just like that (snaps fingers). Why, you could wake up dead tomorrow. Well, good night.
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Postby tapehead on Tue Dec 13, 2005 6:48 pm

'Aaagh, I'm losing my perspicacity' - Lisa won't get many, you got to give credit where it's due
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Postby so sorry on Tue Dec 13, 2005 7:03 pm

"Save me Jeebus!!!!!!"
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Postby tapehead on Tue Dec 13, 2005 7:04 pm

ok... but I think it's "help me Jeebus!"
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Postby athenabodicea on Tue Dec 13, 2005 7:07 pm

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Excellent topic!!!!!
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Postby athenabodicea on Tue Dec 13, 2005 7:08 pm

so sorry wrote:"To beer, the cause of, and solution to, all of life's problems"
-Homer Jay Simpson

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Seconded....

And then...

Son, a woman is like a beer. They smell good, they look good, you'd step over your own mother just to get one! But you can't stop at one. You wanna drink another woman!


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Postby Ribbons on Tue Dec 13, 2005 7:29 pm

This is the best I could come up with for now:

"But Main Street's still all cracked and broken!/Sorry mom, the mob has spoken!/Monorail. Monorail.... MONORRAAIIIILLLL!!!!"
Last edited by Ribbons on Wed Dec 14, 2005 11:53 am, edited 3 times in total.
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Postby athenabodicea on Tue Dec 13, 2005 7:29 pm

I like my beer cold ... my TV loud ... and my homosexuals flaming...
-Homer

Marge, you're as pretty as Princess Leah and as smart as Yoda.
-Homer


(Singing) My Bologna has a first name. It's H.o.m.e.r, my bologna has a second name. It's H.o.m.e.r.
-Homer

(singing) I am so smart s.m.r.t I mean s.m.a.r.t.
-Homer

D'oh!!!! (Duh!!!)

Pffft, English. Who needs that. I'm never going to England
-Homer

War is neither glamorous nor fun. There are no winners, only losers. There are no good wars, with the following exceptions: The American Revolution, World War II, and the Star Wars Trilogy.
-Bart

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Postby thomasgaffney on Tue Dec 13, 2005 9:27 pm

From the episode where they vacation at Flander's beach house.....

Lisa packs nothing in her suitcase because she wants to build a new image for herself. Homer picks up the suitcase to put it on the top of the car and the following exchange occurs:


Homer - "Someone's packing light."

Lisa - "Nah. You must just be getting stronger."

Homer - "Well, I HAVE been eating more!"
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Postby thomasgaffney on Tue Dec 13, 2005 9:29 pm

Homer - "See, Marge! Every time I put something new in my brain, something old falls out. It's like that time I learned how to make my own wine and forgot how to drive!"

Marge - "You didn't forget how to drive! You were drunk all the time!"

Homer - "And how..."
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Postby magicmonkey on Tue Dec 13, 2005 9:50 pm

From the episode where they are snowed in at school.

Skinner : Jimmy! Chew through my ball bag!
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Postby Ribbons on Tue Dec 13, 2005 9:51 pm

Lunch Lady Doris: "More testicles means more iron."
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Postby St. Alphonzo on Tue Dec 13, 2005 9:55 pm

"I think I've been a great citizen."
- O. J. Simpson


What? Oh shit, I'm sorry. I misunderstood the topic.

My bad.
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Postby thomasgaffney on Tue Dec 13, 2005 9:57 pm

In the school movie from the Lisa-vegetarian episode...

Troy McClure - "Come on, Jimmy! Let's have a look at the killing floor!"

Jimmy - "AH!"

Tro McClure - "Ha! Don't let the name fool you. It's not really a floor! It's more of a metal grate to allow meat and by-products to sloosh through!"
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Postby buster00 on Tue Dec 13, 2005 10:02 pm

Willie: "Have yeh got eny greese?"

Lunchlady Doris: "Yes... yes, we do."

Willie: "THEN GREESE ME OOP, WOOMIN!!
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Postby Ribbons on Tue Dec 13, 2005 10:07 pm

so sorry wrote:"To beer, the cause of, and solution to, all of life's problems"
-Homer Jay Simpson
Image


vicious_bastard wrote:Homer: Don't let Krusty's death get you down, boy. People die all the time. Just like that (snaps fingers). Why, you could wake up dead tomorrow. Well, good night.


LOLZORS! Good ones, boys.
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Postby CENOBITE on Tue Dec 13, 2005 10:52 pm

magicmonkey wrote:Skinner : Jimmy! Chew through my ball bag!




LOL... I thought it was "Nibbles! Chew through my ball sack!"
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Postby EliCash on Tue Dec 13, 2005 11:08 pm

with a dry wit like that, i could be an action hero.
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Postby Animorganimate on Tue Dec 13, 2005 11:19 pm

"Do you want to change your name to Homer Junior? The kids at school can call you Ho Ju." -Homer Simpson

"AHHH! The goggles, they do nothing!" -Radioactive Man after getting doused with acid.

"Up and at them!" -Radioactive Man
"Up and ATOM!" -Director
"Up and at them!" -Radioactive Man
"Up and ATOM!" -Director

"Is purple a fruit?" -Homer Simpson

"Does whiskey count as beer?" -Homer Simpson

"Whoa! I'm seein' doubles. Four Krusty's!!!" -Mobster
...methodical, exacting, and worst of all, patient.
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Postby magicmonkey on Wed Dec 14, 2005 12:38 am

When Bart is stuck down the well after impersonating Timmy O'Toole.

Rescuers to come to the rescue and break through the wall of the well;

Bart - Sting! Mum! Dad!
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Postby CENOBITE on Wed Dec 14, 2005 1:10 am

Ralph:"Then, the doctor told me that BOTH my eyes were lazy! And that's why it was the best summer ever."
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Postby CENOBITE on Wed Dec 14, 2005 1:17 am

One that applies to most of us:

Comic Book Guy: Last night's 'Itchy and Scratchy Show' was, without a doubt, the worst episode ever. Rest assured, I was on the internet within minutes, registering my disgust throughout the world.
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Postby Ribbons on Wed Dec 14, 2005 1:46 am

Animorganimate wrote:"AHHH! The goggles, they do nothing!" -Radioactive Man after getting doused with acid.


I was totally waiting for someone to say this one. Probably the best Simpsons quote ever. But, to pull a Comic Book Guy, the actual soundbyte goes like "Arrgh! My eyes! Ze goggles do nothing!"
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Postby Keepcoolbutcare on Wed Dec 14, 2005 8:33 am

heh. In honor of Kong.

Before the Ship Sails
(Marge asks to join expedition)

Burns: What do you think, Smithers?
Smithers: I think women and seamen don't mix.
Burns: We know what you think.
Personally, I'm an atheist in the voting booth and a theist in the movie theatre. I separate the morality of religion with the spirituality and solace of it. There is something boring about atheism.
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Postby HoodedAvenger on Wed Dec 14, 2005 8:52 am

Comic Book Guy: There is no emoticon for what I feel

still my fav
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Postby vicious_bastard on Wed Dec 14, 2005 9:19 am

That whole "Ice to see you" McBain bit.

And Mcbain asked "How do you sleep at night?"
"With many beautiful women on top of a pile of money"
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Postby ThisIsTheGirl on Wed Dec 14, 2005 9:25 am

SO many great ones - I just know that I won't be able to remember the very funniest ones, but these are definitely the two I quote the most in my day-to-day life.

Homer: "Hey....his name's like my name"

I think this is from the episode where Homer tracks down his brother. If I ever see a person with the same first name or surname as me (or somebody I'm with), you can bet that I will say this. Yes, it got old a long time ago, but I still wet myself with laughter every time.

"Last night's Itchy & Scratchy was, without a doubt, the worst episode ever. Rest assured I was on the internet within minutes registering my disgust throughout the world."

I say this whenever I see a film/tv show I hate. If I see something I really like, I simply change "worst" to "best" and "disgust" to "elation".
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Postby Ribbons on Thu Dec 22, 2005 3:11 pm

Rainier Wolfcastle: "Upon closer inspection, these shoes are loafers."
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Postby Vegeta on Thu Dec 22, 2005 3:30 pm

From Cthulhukid on the TV Quotes thread
Homer: Maybe it's the beer talking Marge, but you got a butt that just won't quit. They got these big chewey pretzles here that pSDasdfjfasASDFasdfHKhjlJsbssf ... FIVE DOLLARS? Get out of here...

______________

Marge was reading that off of a postcard with Homer drunkenly narrating
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Postby Vegeta on Thu Dec 22, 2005 3:33 pm

The episode where Bart becomes Mr. Burns heir

Bart is reading Homer's obviously dyslexic note to make Bart a shoe-in for heir and you here Homer in the backround:

"Him card read good"
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Postby The Ginger Man on Thu Dec 22, 2005 3:39 pm

God, I quoted these two little segments for years.

From "Bart of Darkness," after Homer has finished building the pool.

Homer: All right, everybody in the pool!
Amish Man: 'Tis a fine barn, but sure 'tis no pool, English.
Homer: D'oheth!

And in "Homer Loves Flanders."

Homer: (looking at ceiling) Why do you mock me, O Lord?
Marge: Homer, that's not God. That's just a waffle that Bart tossed up there. (Marge scrapes it off into Homer's hands)
Homer: I know I shouldn't eat thee, but -- [bites] Mmm, sacrilicious.
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Postby CthulhuKid on Thu Dec 22, 2005 4:09 pm

Another of my Favs, from the "Lord of The Flies" Ep:

(Bart sitting in the corner, hugging his knees, rocking back and forth) "Krusty is coming, Krusty is coming..."


Same Ep:

Kent Brockman: "I've been to Vietnam and Desert Storm, and I can honestly say, without hyperbole, this is A THOUSAND times worse than either of them."

Or something to that effect. :-)
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Postby thomasgaffney on Thu Dec 22, 2005 5:32 pm

Also from the "Lord of the Flies" episode:

Milhouse: "I'm so hungry, I could eat at Arby's..."

Nelson: "Wow! He must be hungry!"



I say the Milhouse line every time I pass an Arby's.
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Postby Ribbons on Thu Dec 22, 2005 5:34 pm

Ralph Wiggum: "Go banana!"

^^^(Also from the "Lord of the Flies" esipode)
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Postby CthulhuKid on Wed Dec 28, 2005 2:34 pm

There should just be a Favorite Ralph Wiggun Quote thread here! :-)

I bent my Wookie!

Lisa's dancing makes my feet sad

The Doctor says my nose would stop bleeding if I'd just stop sticking my finger up there!

(to Bart) I don't like you, Boy Mommy!
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Postby Keepcoolbutcare on Wed Dec 28, 2005 8:45 pm

CthulhuKid wrote:There should just be a Favorite Ralph Wiggum Quote thread here! :-)
I bent my Wookie!
Lisa's dancing makes my feet sad
The Doctor says my nose would stop bleeding if I'd just stop sticking my finger up there!
(to Bart) I don't like you, Boy Mommy!


heh. Ask an ye' shall Receive!

For some reason, an elderly italian movie producer originally put this topic in general interest. We were all n00bs once...
Personally, I'm an atheist in the voting booth and a theist in the movie theatre. I separate the morality of religion with the spirituality and solace of it. There is something boring about atheism.
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Postby Retardo_Montalban on Wed Dec 28, 2005 9:52 pm

Homer: Moe, I need your advice.
Moe: Yeah.
Homer: See, I got this friend named...Joey Jo-Jo...Junior...Shabadoo --
Moe: That's the worst name I ever heard.
[A man run outta the bar, crying]
Barney: Hey, Joey Jo-Jo!


Grandpa Simpson: The last time the meteors came, we thought the sky was on fire. Naturally, we blamed the Irish. We hanged more 'n a few.
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Postby MiltonWaddams on Thu Dec 29, 2005 2:04 am

Bart: Those Shelbyville kids think they're so hot, but you know what? They're not.
Milhouse: I really agree with you on this one, Bart.

Milhouse: Is this the untimely end of Milhouse?
Milhouse2: But Milhouse is my name!
Milhouse: But I thought I was the only one!
Milhouse2: [shakes head] A pain I know all too well.
Milhouse: So this is what it feels like...when doves cry.

good stuff.
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Postby tapehead on Thu Dec 29, 2005 6:25 am

There out to be a thread for comic book guy all his own:

"oh Jar Jar, everybody hates you but me"
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Postby The Wrong Guy on Thu Dec 29, 2005 9:22 am

"Mr. Simpson, this is the most blatant case of fraudulent advertising since my suit against the film The NeverEnding Story."

"My cat's breath smells like cat food."

"Marge, can you close your eyes? I'm trying to sleep here.'
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Postby Chairman Kaga on Thu Dec 29, 2005 11:16 am

Retardo_Montalban wrote:Homer: Moe, I need your advice.
Moe: Yeah.
Homer: See, I got this friend named...Joey Jo-Jo...Junior...Shabadoo --
Moe: That's the worst name I ever heard.
[A man run outta the bar, crying]
Barney: Hey, Joey Jo-Jo!

Damn beat me to it.

Bart: Dad! You shot the zombie Flanders.

Homer: He was a zombie?
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Postby vagaholic on Thu Dec 29, 2005 4:34 pm

Dr Hibberd -"You had what we like to call a cardiac episode"
Comic Book Guy -"Worst episode ever"
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Postby tfactor on Thu Dec 29, 2005 4:40 pm

do the stuff that buys me beer

ray, the guy that brings the beer

me, the guy who drinks the beer

far, to far to go for beer

so I think I'll have beer

La I'll have another beer

tee no thanks I'll drink my beer

and that brings us back to do do do DOH!


on a side note
Vagaholic I'm going to have to ask you to change your avatar, there can be only one j/k no really
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Postby tapehead on Thu Dec 29, 2005 4:48 pm

that reminds me!

'When I was seventeen
I drank some very good beer.
I drank some very good beer
I purchased with a fake ID.
My name was Brian McGee.
I stayed up listening to Queen.
When I was seventeen'

sung to the tune of that old Sinatra song


for a couple of years in Australia, some opportunist illegally marketed and sold 'Duff' beer - oh man, it was sweet"
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Postby minstrel on Fri Jan 06, 2006 10:28 pm

In Moe's tavern:

Moe: Barney, show these two the exit.
Barney: There's an exit??
"Everybody is equally shitty and wrong." - Ribbons
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Postby DennisMM on Fri Jan 06, 2006 11:09 pm

A really obscure one:

Nelson: And if the huckleberries are too bitter, you can just sprinkle some sugar on them! (sees non-thug approaching, acts tough)
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