MOVIES THAT NEED TO BE REMADE

[DinoDeLaurentiis]

Meet the Fockers

[thomasgaffney]

I don't know what to think about Witherspoon. Sometimes she looks hot, sometimes I don't get what the appeal is either.....

[DinoDeLaurentiis]

I don't get what the appeal is either.....

Watch a the "Twilight" anna you will understand, eh?

[DinoDeLaurentiis]

She was also inna the movie called "Freeway" which was a the crazy take onna the Little Red Riding Hood, eh? It's a pretty good satire too...

[thomasgaffney]

I don't get what the appeal is either.....

Watch a the "Twilight" anna you will understand, eh?

Okay, old man. I'll take your word for it and check out Twilight.

EDIT - And Freeway.

[athenabodicea]

Salem's Lot

Pete's Dragon

Black Hole.......... You know how you remember some movies being really really cool as a kid but then rewatch the movies & see how bad they really were???? This was one of those for me....

Ten Commandments

Hulk.....................

[Lord Voldemoo]

The Fog... I hear it sucks, eh? They should a remake that one too...

Yeah, HK's review was...well...there's not a lot of gray area here:

http://www.aintitcool.com/display.cgi?id=21562

[athenabodicea]

Time Bandits

and Cat From Outer Space

[Flumm]

Sometimes though it isn;t straight forward. How about classic movies that are just so good, that have so many things going right for them... yet lack in some department or other?

I recently saw The Dirty Dozen for the first time, and I fell in love with it. It had a brilliant cast, a fantastic escalating premise, and some great characters in there too...

...yet for all the elements that make it a classic, there is definate weaknesses... despite the storyline, the first half of the movie - the training phase - is much more entertaining than the actual mission.

The mission itself was a bit of a let down, although the grenade down the air vents idea is brilliant, it messilly done, with tacky gunfights.

It feels cheap, there's no denying it. Especially the transition to the final scenes via the planes n parachutes and in particular, the very abrupt written in 90 seconds ending.

It's one of those things that if remade, could really be imrpoved by some great cinematography, set design and locations. Yet how could you match that cast?

Are there even equivalents of ...Lee Marvin, John Cassavetes, Ernest Borgnine, Bronson, Savals and Sutherland in Hollywood now?

[John-Locke]

The Phantom Menace

Seriously, ROTS just needs to be retitled Episode I and Episodes II and III need to be remade to show Vader kicking ass all across the galaxy.

Most truthfull post ever.

[Cpt Kirks 2pay]

It's like that in all Training/Mission films Flummy dude. Think about it, all these films are much more entertaining in the first half;

Full Metal Jacket
Armageddon
Uncommon Valour
Space Cowboys
er... Rhinestone
The Magnificent Seven I think too.

My mate was asking me who to cast in a Remake of The Magnificent Seven. We did come up with great names, some of the best actors today even, but like you said, dunno if they are the equivalent of the stars of these original films.

[Adam Balm]

George Lucas said something about that. Was that in the Wired interview where he said that fans wanted episode iii to be episode i. Well, if it were, there would be no need for a tv series to do what we thought the prequels were supposed to do.

[Cpt Kirks 2pay]

Before we get into a heated debate (read that as, a big hateful argument where friends end up falling out with each other and killing each other and their families) about SW, let me just say that the Prequel trilogy was about the fall of Anakin to Vader, and nothing afterwards. It's more interesting, and nothing more really needs to be said (maybe a short section of him hunting donw some Jedis with Boba Fett, but only a hint of the Jedi purge beginning). The character of Vader was done in the OT.

So just leave it awright? Just leave it.

[Adam Balm]

I understand and agree with that to a certain extent. I understand the symmetry. The PT is about the fall, the OT is about the redemption. But still, alot of stuff like the creation of the rebellion and what not was stuff we thought we were getting, and didn't.

[Flumm]

Before we get into a heated debate (read that as, a big hateful argument where friends end up falling out with each other and killing each other and their families) about SW, let me just say that the Prequel trilogy was about the fall of Anakin to Vader, and nothing afterwards. It's more interesting, and nothing more really needs to be said (maybe a short section of him hunting donw some Jedis with Boba Fett, but only a hint of the Jedi purge beginning). The character of Vader was done in the OT.

So just leave it awright? Just leave it.

Where is you're family. I must kill them.



No no no...


Actually I kid of agree with you Kirk. I think that in premise, the idea of following Anakin from child to Darth Vader works. I can really see why they chose to do it that way. It's just not all that compelling on film, as it in is in theory. :

[Keepcoolbutcare]

El Topo.

Vampire Hunter D, Wicked City, Ninja Scroll...all live action. (yeah, I know there's a Wicked City live action from HK)

The Killer, the way Tsui Hark wanted to cast it...3 female leads. But change nothing else (allright, maybe some more camera moves instead of static shot's of flunky carnage).

Metropolis only with the adjusted budget of $200mil...directed by Aronofsky or Proyas.

Johnny Mnemonic and New Rose Hotel. Those two films could not have been worse.

The Ring 2...just do the Japanese version like y'all did in the first film. And shoot Ehren Kruger repeatedly in the face if he asks to be allowed anywhere near this.

[thomasgaffney]

Before we get into a heated debate (read that as, a big hateful argument where friends end up falling out with each other and killing each other and their families) about SW, let me just say that the Prequel trilogy was about the fall of Anakin to Vader, and nothing afterwards. It's more interesting, and nothing more really needs to be said (maybe a short section of him hunting donw some Jedis with Boba Fett, but only a hint of the Jedi purge beginning). The character of Vader was done in the OT.

So just leave it awright? Just leave it.

Ok, fine. But what the fuck does episode I show about the fall of anakin to vader? That they found him as a child? That he has midichloreans? That he can pilot a fast craft? Total waste. Then they should move ATOC to Episode I, and expand his love for Pamda/turnabout to Palpatine in Episode II and have a bigger, kick ass-er Anakin/Kenobi battle in a remade Episode III.

[RogueScribner]

They should remake Serenity every year until they get it right (meaning it grosses $150 million domestic).

[Eric G]

Ben Hurr?

The Godfather?

The Entire Star Wars Saga

The two Matrix Prequels

..... am I making my point?

Dear Hollywood,
Forget remaking movies and just write your farkin own!. how about using the brain that Satan gave you and start writing something with a bit of originality. Doesn't have to be much....just a bit. But you've gone and fucked that up now as well haven't you? The next bright idea to come out was comic/cartoon adaptions! And why not!? After all, it was only the natural evolution for studio execs with no fucking clue. There a SO MANY novels you can adapt to film, so get off your chunky asses and read them!

Yours faithfully,
Up Yours.

[burlivesleftnut]

Good point about the Matrix "prequels". WTF.

But on that note, it would be nice to remake the Matrix SEQUELS. My ass still hurts from that gang rape.

[doglips]

Oh, were you there too Burl?

I got a right rogering............

[DinoDeLaurentiis]

Here's a the original idea... I donna think a this one has a been filmed a yet, eh?

Some scientist, he uses a the science to create a something that soon gets out of a his a control anna endangers the peoples lives, eh?

[burlivesleftnut]

Here's a the original idea... I donna think a this one has a been filmed a yet, eh?

Some scientist, he uses a the science to create a something that soon gets out of a his a control anna endangers the peoples lives, eh?

I would like to see this same idea realized, but with someone who might be involved in the occult instead. Original, no?

[so sorry]

Ben Hurr?

The Godfather?

The Entire Star Wars Saga

The two Matrix Prequels

..... am I making my point?

Dear Hollywood,
Forget remaking movies and just write your farkin own!. how about using the brain that Satan gave you and start writing something with a bit of originality. Doesn't have to be much....just a bit. But you've gone and fucked that up now as well haven't you? The next bright idea to come out was comic/cartoon adaptions! And why not!? After all, it was only the natural evolution for studio execs with no fucking clue. There a SO MANY novels you can adapt to film, so get off your chunky asses and read them!

Yours faithfully,
Up Yours.

My point of starting this thread was to come up with some movies that Hollywood got WRONG that can be made RIGHT. your examples are the exact opposite (i'm ignoring the Matrix prequels, cause that ain't right at all).
so get off your soapbox already...

[thomasgaffney]

Hollywood got From Justin to Kelly wrong on so many levels, but I don't want them to try to get it right either...

[burlivesleftnut]

Did anyone ever see a TV movie that came out in the early 80s called Dark Night of the Scarecrow? When I was a kid I fucking LOVED this movie. It had Larry Drake playing yet another retard who runs afoul of the small town elders for his alledged part in the rape (?) or molestation of a little girl. Larry runs from these hombres which is lead by that sexpot Charles Durning. Eventually Larry hides inside an old scarecrow in a corn field and while he is there he gets totally blown away by shot gun blasts.

Anyway, a year later, a scarecrow starts stalking the town elders... chaos and random old lady death ensue. Anyway, I have always loved the premise and think it would make a fucking fantastic big screen horror movie.

[thomasgaffney]

Burl, I believe that you brought this up in the old scary movie thread. While I haven't seen it, I think the premise is great and I'd definitely go see a big screen remake in the theater.

[burlivesleftnut]

Sorry to be repetitive, but I am totally bummed that the movie isn't available AT ALL!

[thomasgaffney]

Hey, no need to be sorry, you just reminded me to add that to the list of movies that I need to hunt down and see if I can find a copy of. I meant to go looking for that after the scary movie thread, but I got sidetracked.

[Pacino86845]

I meant to go looking for that after the scary movie thread, but I got sidetracked.

Yet another hapless consumer dissuaded by Grannies and Trannies 8.

[DinoDeLaurentiis]

Sorry to be repetitive, but I am totally bummed that the movie isn't available AT ALL!

That's a because it was not a the movie... it was REAL! IT WAS REAL!!!

(CUE SPOOKY MUSIC)
ooooooWEEEEEEEEOOOOOOoooooo........

[DinoDeLaurentiis]

Yet another hapless consumer dissuaded by Grannies and Trannies 8.

Okay now THAT'S a the Grade-A material, no? Nice one paisan!

[thomasgaffney]

I meant to go looking for that after the scary movie thread, but I got sidetracked.

Yet another hapless consumer dissuaded by Grannies and Trannies 8.

I only just got done Grannies and Trannies 7. But how can they make an 8? Grannie number 2 died at the end. Unless.....

[burlivesleftnut]

Man, this is totally bad ass. I have been checking eBay for a couple of years hoping that a DVD copy of Dark Night of the Scarecrow would pop up. Well it has! There is a region 0 DVD and I am pretty sure its just a dub of a VHS copy, but I bought it anyway. I only wish I had checked sooner. Having horror movie night with a friend of mine tomorrow and it would have been awesome to bring this since I talk about it all the time!

[Pacino86845]

Yet another hapless consumer dissuaded by Grannies and Trannies 8.

Okay now THAT'S a the Grade-A material, no? Nice one paisan!

I'm just temporarily filling in for Alonzo... he hasn't been the same since the ban from the main site, and as a fellow 3rd shifter I've regrettably witnessed the fall of a once, um, ... witnessed the fall of a guy, who would've made this joke had he been his own normal self. Here's to you, big guy!

[thomasgaffney]

Yet another hapless consumer dissuaded by Grannies and Trannies 8.

Okay now THAT'S a the Grade-A material, no? Nice one paisan!

I'm just temporarily filling in for Alonzo... he hasn't been the same since the ban from the main site, and as a fellow 3rd shifter I've regrettably witnessed the fall of a once, um, ... witnessed the fall of a guy, who would've made this joke had he been his own normal self. Here's to you, big guy!

I haven't been on the main site in a while, nor have I been in the LFN/ESM thread... Alonzo got banned from the main site? What for?

[Pacino86845]

Well, see for yourself muchacho:
http://wooderson.aintitcool.com/viewtopic.php?t=15617&highlight=herc+banned

[thomasgaffney]

Well, see for yourself muchacho:
http://wooderson.aintitcool.com/viewtopic.php?t=15617&highlight=herc+banned

Thanks for the link, Pacino. Damn, that sucks.....

[Keepcoolbutcare]

that sexpot Charles Durning

Now there's something you don't hear everyday...

[thomasgaffney]

that sexpot Charles Durning

Now there's something you don't hear everyday...

Really? I hear it everyday.... Maybe it's just you.

[Keepcoolbutcare]

that sexpot Charles Durning

Now there's something you don't hear everyday...

Really? I hear it everyday.... Maybe it's just you.

no wonder I don't see that nebula in my bedroom...

[thomasgaffney]

that sexpot Charles Durning

Now there's something you don't hear everyday...

Really? I hear it everyday.... Maybe it's just you.

no wonder I don't see that nebula in my bedroom...

IPAMPILASH!

[Eric G]

My point of starting this thread was to come up with some movies that Hollywood got WRONG that can be made RIGHT. your examples are the exact opposite (i'm ignoring the Matrix prequels, cause that ain't right at all). so get off your soapbox already...

I was just taking the piss mate. But if you want me to take things seriously.....I demand a remake of Superman II
The original director, Richard Donner was fired after reportedly finishing over 70 percent of the film before his replacement, director Richard Lester took the project's reins. Lester reshot the bulk of Donner's footage and even slipped in a great deal of that mysterious and groan inducing campiness. In the end, we have a film where an accomplished director exits and his replacement is clearly in over his head. Donner deserves his version, with HIS director's credit. Lester had his take, now the original master of the series needs his vision realized. Somewhere out there is Donner's true version.....a better film than we've known exists. Some of it has scenes with Marlon Brando which Bryan Singer is using in Superman Returns.

[TheButcher]

An ultra violent remake of Alien vs Predator.

Godzilla '98 only this time make it exciting with lot's of monster fights.
I'd want Michael Bay on this one. Nobody makes big crazy explosions as good as he does.

[ZombieZoneSolutions]

No film should ever be remade. Are books re-written? No. (Koontz's take on Frankenstein doesn't count).

Instead of remaking a particular film (like, for instance, the totally unecessary and just nigh blasphemous planned remake of The Wild Bunch), I would prefer to see filmmakers invest their talents into crafting original films which explore similar themes or portray similar situations from a new viewpoint.

The orignal Wild Bunch was a thinly veiled allegory of the Vietnam War. Why not a western that is a thinly veiled allegory of the US's latest foreign policy disaster / imperilaist aggression -- the Iraquagmire / Endless War? I'd be first in line! But a Wild Bunch remake? No fucking thanks. They're gonna turn it into Young Guns. (Made you cringe there didn't I?)

[Man-in-the-Box]

Zapped, I can't get enough Zapped. FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THINGS GOOD AND HOLY, CAN SOMEBODY PLEASE REFUCKING-MAKE ZAPPED!!!!!

[Cpt Kirks 2pay]

Horror films these days are lame in appearence and have such an unscary feel to them, in the way they are shot and simply the way they look. Too clean, polished and simply without grit or with a sense of ugliness that should be there.

Was watching Halloween H20 last week and it just reminded me of I Know What You Did last Summer, and all so called horror films of that ilk, Scream etc. The production values look to clean and expensive even.

The cheapness of Texas Chainsaw Massacre was one of the things that made it work. Can't comment on the remake. I heard it looked either suprisingly good/or too clean compared to the original.

Even films which are trying to be more horrifying and gory than these (poor! - sorry couldn't think of any better) examples have this 'comfortable' feel to them.

That's why I doubt that Dark Night of The Scarecrow - or other remakes of 70s, 80s horror movies that you used to get down at 2001 video in the 80s - will be as scary. We live in too much of a PC movie environment today. Not much is genuinely horrific.

Or am I being a miserable git today?

[burlivesleftnut]

Yes.

By the way, I received my Dark Night of the Scarecrow region 0 DVD, and I have to say, for an early 80s TV movie, it is still surprisingly effective. And Charles Durning is a bad bad man.

In all the right ways.

[Bean]

The Hatchet TV movie needs to be redone, that series could be great films if done right.

[DinoDeLaurentiis]

And Charles Durning is a bad bad man.

In all the right ways.

Burl, I gonna to remake a the "When a Stranger, he Calls, eh?" just a for you, no? Only inna 'stead of a the Carol Kane as a the Babysitter, it's a gonna to be some up anna coming cub that a you like, eh? Anna when a the police call onna the phone anna say "the calls, they coming from inna the house a you putz! Get outta the house... Get OUTTA THE HOUSE!" anna the cub babysitter, he run downstairs anna rips open a the door, anna Charles Durning is a standing there, anna he gonna say "did a somebody, they order a the pizza?" Anna then a the fun, she gonna to begin...

Just a for you.