...and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull (spoilers!)

New movies! Old movies! B-movies! Discuss discuss discuss!!!

How awesome is the new Indy film?

10
3
4%
9
9
12%
8
11
15%
7
16
21%
6
13
17%
5
7
9%
4
8
11%
3
2
3%
2
1
1%
1
2
3%
The Last Crusade was the LAST friggin' crusade, I ain't watchin' this!!!
0
No votes
Waiting for the Special Edition DVD with extended Cantina/Jabba's Palace scenes
3
4%
 
Total votes : 75

Postby Bob Samonkey on Mon May 26, 2008 3:20 am

Bob Poopflingius Maximus wrote:
Lady Sheridan wrote:Oh, Bob -- monkeys are cool. Too cool to be reduced to an Indy prop...

And they weren't even REAL.


I am telling you. 2010 belongs to Mutt and the Monkeys!!! Heed my word...


And I hope I get the part!!!
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...and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull (spoilers!)

Postby bastard_robo on Mon May 26, 2008 3:20 am

Lady Sheridan wrote:Ugh, I forgot about the snake scene...yeah, that was ALF. It is not possible to use a snake as a rope.

The other story issue I had a problem with was Indy's new James Bond background. The idea that he was a genuine spy was preposterous. If the government had called in a favor when, say, he was attending some symposium in the Soviet Union...ok. But the idea that he was somehow this kickass spy was just really out of character for me. A WWII hero, yes, but not some kind of Cold Warrior.

I also had a huge problem with why he would have ever been called into Roswell. When Spalko said he had identified mummified remains, I thought they would turn out to be something unearthed in Peru. Again, that would have been realistic and fit with his scholarly background. But WHY would he have been called to Roswell to identify anything?! Wouldn't you be calling in NASA or someone?

It was this kind of filler that just yanked me out within twenty minutes. It went against everything Indiana Jones ever was. I think I would have had a much easier time accepting and enjoying the movie (even the aliens!) if it hadn't tried to "catch" me up. I could have begun the movie happily thinking Indy had just been doing the same old all these years.

And while I want to say that this movie ISN'T going to affect my viewing of the first three...it will, solely because of the way they screwed up the Marion and Indy romance. Oh, Indy's a bastard -- but always lamented she got away? Thanks for ruining MY idea of them.

Sigh. It is all off my chest now.


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Postby The Ginger Man on Mon May 26, 2008 7:14 am

If he hadn't already done this same thing in the Mummy movies, I'd really have liked to seen Brendon Fraiser as Indy's son instead of Shia. Fraiser is still young enough looking/acting to conceivebly by Indy's son. He can also carry an action/adventure film...unlike Shia.

I'm not opposed to another film with Mutt as the main character, but the choice of actor really kills it. Shia was fine for Mutt, as a one off character. But if he carries the franchise in the next film, he's not dynamic or interesting enough. He has none of the charisma that Harrison Ford brought to the table.

Shoulda been Brendon Fraiser. Sigh.....
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Postby Fried Gold on Mon May 26, 2008 7:29 am

While a very different film to the previous three (in terms of both style and story), it was still an enjoyable, entertaining, action adventure film.

The only two negative things I honestly thought about while watching it were:- the apparent lack of a noticeable, epic score....and the "This has been shot by Janusz Kaminski" cinematography.
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Postby vicbarry on Mon May 26, 2008 8:55 am

First post, hello from Ireland!

No doubt there will be another Indy flick, but if it has Shia LeBeouf as the lead and Ford as some dothering, pants pissing pensioner in an old folks home at the start of the movie, then its time to hang up the whip!!!!
Thanks for reading!

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Postby The Ginger Man on Mon May 26, 2008 9:01 am

I really enjoyed it, as a whole. It was an Indiana Jones movie. There were some parts that made me groan, but they were far outweighed by things that I enjoyed.

I liked the alien theme as a way of tying into 50s sci-fi pulp. I think it worked great in Indy's world, b/c his world isn't real. I don't mean that it's imaginary...of course it it. I mean his world evolves to fit the story. Indiana Jones is the vehicle...the mythology can be anything. He is pulp...he can encounter anything. Aliens, Bigfoot, Atlantis, the Ark....they all work b/c Indy is constant. He's the light that illuminates whatever unknown exists in the film.

In the end, I think KotCS is better for Indy than Last Crusade. It pulls Indy back to his pulpness. LC has Indy going toe-to-toe with God's leftovers for 2nd time. It makes him almost mythical. But Crystal Skull brings him back to dirty exploration...facing whatever weirdness comes his way. I really would like one more film, with Indy playing the Sean Connery part to Mutt. But I want it to be as pulp as possible. That's the good shit.

Ooooh...maybe it could be something Lovecraftian. I'd love to see a Mutt and Indy tag-team against some Elder Gods. Yeah....that'd be awesome. :mrgreen:
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Postby havocSchultz on Mon May 26, 2008 9:23 am

The Ginger Man wrote:If he hadn't already done this same thing in the Mummy movies, I'd really have liked to seen Brendon Fraiser as Indy's son instead of Shia. Fraiser is still young enough looking/acting to conceivebly by Indy's son. He can also carry an action/adventure film...unlike Shia.

I'm not opposed to another film with Mutt as the main character, but the choice of actor really kills it. Shia was fine for Mutt, as a one off character. But if he carries the franchise in the next film, he's not dynamic or interesting enough. He has none of the charisma that Harrison Ford brought to the table.

Shoulda been Brendon Fraiser.
Sigh.....




Shoulda been Billy Zane...





Also, not sure if this will mean much to anyone, but my buddy, who I saw the midnight show with, went again last night because his girlfriend wanted to see it...

I haven't talked to him since, save for a text I received from him after...

Text to havoc wrote:Indy was better 2nd time around.


Now, this coming from a guy who was quite a bit more Meh on the film than I was...

I gave it around a 7...
From the way I read his reaction after, I'd say he felt it was more like a 5.5 or 6.

I will probably end up seeing it again because my girlfriend wants to see it as well(the ladies had to work way too early to catch the midnight show apparently).
So I'll let you guys know if that's true or not...

But I figured I would pass it on...

Also, everybody here is bitching about George Lucas and his Cute Animal CGU Madness...

Spielberg is not completely innocent from the cute & cuddly standpoint...

I believe it was his idea to make Gizmo the cute and cuddly hero of Gremlins...

Because he figured audiences would appreciate it more, and it gave them a merchandising opening...

So I wasn't really surprised by them...annoyed...but not completely surprised...

I'm not saying it wasn't Lucas' idea...
I'm just saying I don't really see Spielberg fighting it at all...
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Postby caruso_stalker217 on Mon May 26, 2008 9:25 am

Spielberg is a pussy. He's gotten too soft.
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Postby Retardo_Montalban on Mon May 26, 2008 9:25 am

The thing about the 50s pulp aliens is that those weren't 50's pulp aliens at all. They were mid nineties X-Files, Charlie Sheen Aliens. A fifties Alien would have lizard scales or a robotic body. I hated those fucking aliens. If Spielberg was smart enough to make them aliens a bunch of robots (could explain the magnetic skeleton tons) then Spalko's death could have been killer awesome as she could have had all kind of gnarly electronics and shit spewing out of her as she blows up.
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Postby Fried Gold on Mon May 26, 2008 9:33 am

havocSchultz wrote:
The Ginger Man wrote:
Shoulda been Brendon Fraiser.
Sigh.....




Shoulda been Billy Zane...

Both are a nice change from the ridiculous "Shoulda been Crispin Glover".
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Postby Pacino86845 on Mon May 26, 2008 9:38 am

The Ginger Man wrote:I really enjoyed it, as a whole. It was an Indiana Jones movie. There were some parts that made me groan, but they were far outweighed by things that I enjoyed.

I liked the alien theme as a way of tying into 50s sci-fi pulp. I think it worked great in Indy's world, b/c his world isn't real. I don't mean that it's imaginary...of course it it. I mean his world evolves to fit the story. Indiana Jones is the vehicle...the mythology can be anything. He is pulp...he can encounter anything. Aliens, Bigfoot, Atlantis, the Ark....they all work b/c Indy is constant. He's the light that illuminates whatever unknown exists in the film.

In the end, I think KotCS is better for Indy than Last Crusade. It pulls Indy back to his pulpness. LC has Indy going toe-to-toe with God's leftovers for 2nd time. It makes him almost mythical. But Crystal Skull brings him back to dirty exploration...facing whatever weirdness comes his way. I really would like one more film, with Indy playing the Sean Connery part to Mutt. But I want it to be as pulp as possible. That's the good shit.

Ooooh...maybe it could be something Lovecraftian. I'd love to see a Mutt and Indy tag-team against some Elder Gods. Yeah....that'd be awesome. :mrgreen:


I think we may have similar tastes at least when it comes to action-adventure films, Ginger... I remember you'd also liked At World's End last year right? And you hated Transformers? Check and check! Any chance to see Speed Racer yet?
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Postby havocSchultz on Mon May 26, 2008 9:38 am

Fried Gold wrote:
havocSchultz wrote:
The Ginger Man wrote:
Shoulda been Brendon Fraiser.
Sigh.....




Shoulda been Billy Zane...

Both are a nice change from the ridiculous "Shoulda been Crispin Glover".


What if Zemeckis gets to direct the next one...?
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Postby Retardo_Montalban on Mon May 26, 2008 9:42 am

havocSchultz wrote:
Fried Gold wrote:
havocSchultz wrote:
The Ginger Man wrote:
Shoulda been Brendon Fraiser.
Sigh.....




Shoulda been Billy Zane...

Both are a nice change from the ridiculous "Shoulda been Crispin Glover".


What if Zemeckis gets to direct the next one...?


Should have been Michael J Fox
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Postby RogueScribner on Mon May 26, 2008 9:47 am

Should have been Eric Stoltz . . .
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Postby havocSchultz on Mon May 26, 2008 10:03 am

Retardo_Montalban wrote:
havocSchultz wrote:
Fried Gold wrote:
havocSchultz wrote:
The Ginger Man wrote:
Shoulda been Brendon Fraiser.
Sigh.....




Shoulda been Billy Zane...

Both are a nice change from the ridiculous "Shoulda been Crispin Glover".


What if Zemeckis gets to direct the next one...?


Should have been Michael J Fox


Smoking Gunn II...?
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Postby The Ginger Man on Mon May 26, 2008 10:31 am

Pacino86845 wrote:
The Ginger Man wrote:I really enjoyed it, as a whole. It was an Indiana Jones movie. There were some parts that made me groan, but they were far outweighed by things that I enjoyed.

I liked the alien theme as a way of tying into 50s sci-fi pulp. I think it worked great in Indy's world, b/c his world isn't real. I don't mean that it's imaginary...of course it it. I mean his world evolves to fit the story. Indiana Jones is the vehicle...the mythology can be anything. He is pulp...he can encounter anything. Aliens, Bigfoot, Atlantis, the Ark....they all work b/c Indy is constant. He's the light that illuminates whatever unknown exists in the film.

In the end, I think KotCS is better for Indy than Last Crusade. It pulls Indy back to his pulpness. LC has Indy going toe-to-toe with God's leftovers for 2nd time. It makes him almost mythical. But Crystal Skull brings him back to dirty exploration...facing whatever weirdness comes his way. I really would like one more film, with Indy playing the Sean Connery part to Mutt. But I want it to be as pulp as possible. That's the good shit.

Ooooh...maybe it could be something Lovecraftian. I'd love to see a Mutt and Indy tag-team against some Elder Gods. Yeah....that'd be awesome. :mrgreen:


I think we may have similar tastes at least when it comes to action-adventure films, Ginger... I remember you'd also liked At World's End last year right? And you hated Transformers? Check and check! Any chance to see Speed Racer yet?


I did like At World's End...but I also liked Transformers. I'll openly admit to enjoying Michael Bay's movies. I enjoy action movies that don't take themselves too seriously or are just plain ridiculous (hence my love for Shoot Em Up), so I'll probably like Speed Racer.
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Postby The Ginger Man on Mon May 26, 2008 10:35 am

Retardo_Montalban wrote:The thing about the 50s pulp aliens is that those weren't 50's pulp aliens at all. They were mid nineties X-Files, Charlie Sheen Aliens. A fifties Alien would have lizard scales or a robotic body. I hated those fucking aliens. If Spielberg was smart enough to make them aliens a bunch of robots (could explain the magnetic skeleton tons) then Spalko's death could have been killer awesome as she could have had all kind of gnarly electronics and shit spewing out of her as she blows up.


Ok, I'll give you that. The alien design was very 1990s. It lacked 50s pulp roots, but I can see why they went that way. The alien design allowed the skull to have a humanoid-like shape, making the "twist" more of a twist. I loved the alien tomb though. Those 13 skeletons sitting in a circle were bad-ass.
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Postby JpPrewitt789 on Mon May 26, 2008 11:07 am

George Lucas wrote:"I haven't even told Steven [Spielberg] or Harrison


God they'll be doing spit takes when they see the first trailer...

I'd love to be a fly on the wall if and when he DOES tell them.
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Postby burlivesleftnut on Mon May 26, 2008 11:33 am

The Ginger Man wrote:
Retardo_Montalban wrote:The thing about the 50s pulp aliens is that those weren't 50's pulp aliens at all. They were mid nineties X-Files, Charlie Sheen Aliens. A fifties Alien would have lizard scales or a robotic body. I hated those fucking aliens. If Spielberg was smart enough to make them aliens a bunch of robots (could explain the magnetic skeleton tons) then Spalko's death could have been killer awesome as she could have had all kind of gnarly electronics and shit spewing out of her as she blows up.


Ok, I'll give you that. The alien design was very 1990s. It lacked 50s pulp roots, but I can see why they went that way. The alien design allowed the skull to have a humanoid-like shape, making the "twist" more of a twist. I loved the alien tomb though. Those 13 skeletons sitting in a circle were bad-ass.


Twist? What twist? Do you mean how someone who is obviously mentally impaired could also be a single mom? Because I am not sure how that ties in with Crystal Alien Skulls.
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Postby Vegeta on Mon May 26, 2008 12:06 pm

burlivesleftnut wrote:
The Ginger Man wrote:
Retardo_Montalban wrote:The thing about the 50s pulp aliens is that those weren't 50's pulp aliens at all. They were mid nineties X-Files, Charlie Sheen Aliens. A fifties Alien would have lizard scales or a robotic body. I hated those fucking aliens. If Spielberg was smart enough to make them aliens a bunch of robots (could explain the magnetic skeleton tons) then Spalko's death could have been killer awesome as she could have had all kind of gnarly electronics and shit spewing out of her as she blows up.


Ok, I'll give you that. The alien design was very 1990s. It lacked 50s pulp roots, but I can see why they went that way. The alien design allowed the skull to have a humanoid-like shape, making the "twist" more of a twist. I loved the alien tomb though. Those 13 skeletons sitting in a circle were bad-ass.


Twist? What twist? Do you mean how someone who is obviously mentally impaired could also be a single mom? Because I am not sure how that ties in with Crystal Alien Skulls.


I guess there is a drawback to all those drinking contests after all.
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Postby Bob Samonkey on Mon May 26, 2008 12:25 pm

Vegeta wrote:
burlivesleftnut wrote:
The Ginger Man wrote:
Retardo_Montalban wrote:The thing about the 50s pulp aliens is that those weren't 50's pulp aliens at all. They were mid nineties X-Files, Charlie Sheen Aliens. A fifties Alien would have lizard scales or a robotic body. I hated those fucking aliens. If Spielberg was smart enough to make them aliens a bunch of robots (could explain the magnetic skeleton tons) then Spalko's death could have been killer awesome as she could have had all kind of gnarly electronics and shit spewing out of her as she blows up.


Ok, I'll give you that. The alien design was very 1990s. It lacked 50s pulp roots, but I can see why they went that way. The alien design allowed the skull to have a humanoid-like shape, making the "twist" more of a twist. I loved the alien tomb though. Those 13 skeletons sitting in a circle were bad-ass.


Twist? What twist? Do you mean how someone who is obviously mentally impaired could also be a single mom? Because I am not sure how that ties in with Crystal Alien Skulls.


I guess there is a drawback to all those drinking contests after all.


IPAMPILASH on both of the last two comments
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Postby Fried Gold on Mon May 26, 2008 1:08 pm

The Ginger Man wrote:
Retardo_Montalban wrote:The thing about the 50s pulp aliens is that those weren't 50's pulp aliens at all. They were mid nineties X-Files, Charlie Sheen Aliens. A fifties Alien would have lizard scales or a robotic body. I hated those fucking aliens. If Spielberg was smart enough to make them aliens a bunch of robots (could explain the magnetic skeleton tons) then Spalko's death could have been killer awesome as she could have had all kind of gnarly electronics and shit spewing out of her as she blows up.


Ok, I'll give you that. The alien design was very 1990s. It lacked 50s pulp roots, but I can see why they went that way. The alien design allowed the skull to have a humanoid-like shape, making the "twist" more of a twist. I loved the alien tomb though. Those 13 skeletons sitting in a circle were bad-ass.

The idea of the "Greys" has been around since HG Wells first wrote about them c.1900.

It is neither a particularly 50s or 90s design, just one that was heavily referred to in popular culture during those times.

HOWEVER, the term "little green men" was more heavily in the 50s so one would expect a 50s pulp story to include them.
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Postby Zarles on Mon May 26, 2008 1:27 pm

The Ginger Man wrote:I really enjoyed it, as a whole. It was an Indiana Jones movie. There were some parts that made me groan, but they were far outweighed by things that I enjoyed.

I liked the alien theme as a way of tying into 50s sci-fi pulp. I think it worked great in Indy's world, b/c his world isn't real. I don't mean that it's imaginary...of course it it. I mean his world evolves to fit the story. Indiana Jones is the vehicle...the mythology can be anything. He is pulp...he can encounter anything. Aliens, Bigfoot, Atlantis, the Ark....they all work b/c Indy is constant. He's the light that illuminates whatever unknown exists in the film.

In the end, I think KotCS is better for Indy than Last Crusade. It pulls Indy back to his pulpness. LC has Indy going toe-to-toe with God's leftovers for 2nd time. It makes him almost mythical. But Crystal Skull brings him back to dirty exploration...facing whatever weirdness comes his way. I really would like one more film, with Indy playing the Sean Connery part to Mutt. But I want it to be as pulp as possible. That's the good shit.

Ooooh...maybe it could be something Lovecraftian. I'd love to see a Mutt and Indy tag-team against some Elder Gods. Yeah....that'd be awesome. :mrgreen:


Well put. Only thing I'd change about it would be to make Indy's further adventures into an animated/CG series. I still bought Indy this time around despite his age, but I'm not sure that he's going to be able to get much older and still pull it off. Maybe ONE more movie that LS won't see (;)), but that's it. I'd like to see an animated series that would bridge a few of the gaps between what happened in Indy's life between the 1930s and the 1950s. I wouldn't mind seeing Indy portrayed as a Cold War spy at all...
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Postby Evil Hobbit on Mon May 26, 2008 2:28 pm

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Jungle before and after a visit to ILM. I like it better before the surgery. But you gotta hand it to them, never thought the jungle would be this fabricated. Hell of a job.
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Postby Simon Quinlank on Mon May 26, 2008 6:01 pm

Apparently the leaves are actually modified Gungan ears.
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Postby Maui on Mon May 26, 2008 6:43 pm

The crystal skull looked like something I would pick up at Target or Kmart for $19.99 and put in my front window for Halloween.

I won't repeat what you all have said. I was not impressed with this film. I will forever hold Raiders of the Lost Ark close to my heart and remember Indy as he was being chased after by a giant boulder.
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Postby caruso_stalker217 on Mon May 26, 2008 7:55 pm

Maui wrote:The crystal skull looked like something I would pick up at Target or Kmart for $19.99 and put in my front window for Halloween.


I agree. It looked really bad. Same goes for the skeletons at the end. They looked like Halloween decorations, not like real aliens or whatever.

I don't really like this movie much. I like the actors in the movie. A lot of them don't get much to do, but it's nice to see them. I like the banter between the Beef and Indy and Sandlot's mother. I love that part at the beginning when Boris tries to play chicken with Indy and Mr. French keeps yelling, "You don't know him! You don't know him!" That's right, Boris, you fuck. This is Indi-fucking-ana Jones.

It's the film itself that shits in my ear. The first three Indy movies never talked down to the audience. This one treats us like we're mentally disabled and/or small children. The snake gag was stupid, but Ford's reactions made me laugh. In fact, I don't think people appreciate Ford enough in this. I thought the scene where Marion shows up was kind of cheesy, but Indy's reaction is priceless and saved it. Ford saved as much of this movie as he could. The Beef picked up the slack. And even the most hardened of CRYSTAL SKULL haters should love that scene in the diner. "That's my BOYFRIEND!" I was rolling in the aisle! My popcorn flew out of my hand! I spilled my drink on my pants and it looked like I pissed myself and it had ice cubes in it! (this entire statement is false. I did not roll in the aisle and I never eat or drink in the theater)

The scene was great, though.

Anyway, the more I think about it the more I feel like we got screwed out of a really good Indy picture. But then I remembered Old Indy from "The Young Indiana Jones Chronicles." Holy shit, that was fucking bad. Lucas got that one right at least when he cut him out of the DVDs. But he doesn't get a pat on the back from me. Cutting out Old Indy is like Mostow cutting out that awful "Sergeant Candy" scene from TERMINATOR 3. I don't care if it didn't end up in the final product. They took the time to write it, to hire actors to appear in it and to spend money shooting it. That's fucking unforgivable.

Fuck you, Mostow.
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Postby burlivesleftnut on Mon May 26, 2008 8:30 pm

The skull looked like it had saran wrap stuffed inside.
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Postby Maui on Mon May 26, 2008 8:53 pm

burlivesleftnut wrote:The skull looked like it had saran wrap stuffed inside.


Oh man, did it ever. I first thought glad sandwich baggies.
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Postby caruso_stalker217 on Mon May 26, 2008 9:05 pm

I thought it was filled with shampoo, with little flecks of tin foil in it, a la THE MANHATTAN PROJECT.
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Postby Maui on Mon May 26, 2008 9:17 pm

caruso_stalker217 wrote:I thought it was filled with shampoo, with little flecks of tin foil in it, a la THE MANHATTAN PROJECT.


No, I think they used the shampoo for the ant goo.
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Postby caruso_stalker217 on Mon May 26, 2008 9:19 pm

I want to be squished like shampoo ants between Cate Blanchett's ridiculously big gloves.
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Postby Maui on Mon May 26, 2008 9:38 pm

See that was another thing, those ants. Carrying off that guy back into the ant hill. Was that supposed to be a comedic moment? It was for me. Last thing we saw was his boots.
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Postby Maui on Mon May 26, 2008 9:49 pm

tapehead wrote:
You'd think that gopher special effects might have advanced since the making of 'Caddyshack', but they haven't, not really - sure, the furry little critters are more limber than Chuck Rodent in his performance as "Mr. Gopher", but there's a reason I didn't go see Alvin & the Chipmunks, and I didn't much appreciate their cameos here, (much less the pompadour monkeys seen later swinging through a cgi jungle with Shia, Lord of the Greaser Apes).
same way over the years.



hahahahahahahaha

You know when the movie first started I was like cool - there's the George Lucas Green logo that we all know and love. My next thought, I sure hope they make the paramount logo turn into something cool, like they do with all the Indy movies. Guess what, they didn't. They had a stupid gopher come out of a dirt mound.
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Postby Vegeta on Mon May 26, 2008 10:11 pm

Maui wrote:
tapehead wrote:
You'd think that gopher special effects might have advanced since the making of 'Caddyshack', but they haven't, not really - sure, the furry little critters are more limber than Chuck Rodent in his performance as "Mr. Gopher", but there's a reason I didn't go see Alvin & the Chipmunks, and I didn't much appreciate their cameos here, (much less the pompadour monkeys seen later swinging through a cgi jungle with Shia, Lord of the Greaser Apes).
same way over the years.



hahahahahahahaha

You know when the movie first started I was like cool - there's the George Lucas Green logo that we all know and love. My next thought, I sure hope they make the paramount logo turn into something cool, like they do with all the Indy movies. Guess what, they didn't. They had a stupid gopher come out of a dirt mound.


And that right there basically told us exactly what we were in for...

*buries head in hands*
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Postby Bob Samonkey on Mon May 26, 2008 10:44 pm

Vegeta wrote:
Maui wrote:
tapehea d wrote:
You'd think that gopher special effects might have advanced since the making of 'Caddyshack', but they haven't, not really - sure, the furry little critters are more limber than Chuck Rodent in his performance as "Mr. Gopher", but there's a reason I didn't go see Alvin & the Chipmunks, and I didn't much appreciate their cameos here, (much less the pompadour monkeys seen later swinging through a cgi jungle with Shia, Lord of the Greaser Apes).
same way over the years.



hahahahahahahaha

You know when the movie first started I was like cool - there's the George Lucas Green logo that we all know and love. My next thought, I sure hope they make the paramount logo turn into something cool, like they do with all the Indy movies. Guess what, they didn't. They had a stupid gopher come out of a dirt mound.


And that right there basically told us exactly what we were in for...

*buries head in hands*


You guys are just jealous of the awesomeness that is pompadour monkeys. The ants wish they could be as cool as us...
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Postby Vicarious on Mon May 26, 2008 11:02 pm

For those that hated this film, like myself, I strongly encourage another viewing. I went again just to see if it really was that bad and this time I just went along with it... enjoyed the silliness. It's not "Indy," nor is it particularly well made, but it is fun.

Formerly 4/10, now 6/10.
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Postby Zarles on Mon May 26, 2008 11:10 pm

I can't say I'm not disappointed on a few levels, but I respect it because it at least tried something new. It wasn't just another re-hash of Raiders (as Last Crusade was), a move which would've been perhaps a bit safer than some patchwork tale involving trained monkeys and an on-screen nuclear explosion. As I said before, it's certainly one of the weirdest sequel movies I've ever seen.

I'll be seeing it again this week with my roommate who hasn't yet. Maybe going into it without a predetermined expectation of the second coming will change a few things for me. We'll see.
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Postby Retardo_Montalban on Mon May 26, 2008 11:34 pm

Fried Gold wrote:
The Ginger Man wrote:
Retardo_Montalban wrote:The thing about the 50s pulp aliens is that those weren't 50's pulp aliens at all. They were mid nineties X-Files, Charlie Sheen Aliens. A fifties Alien would have lizard scales or a robotic body. I hated those fucking aliens. If Spielberg was smart enough to make them aliens a bunch of robots (could explain the magnetic skeleton tons) then Spalko's death could have been killer awesome as she could have had all kind of gnarly electronics and shit spewing out of her as she blows up.


Ok, I'll give you that. The alien design was very 1990s. It lacked 50s pulp roots, but I can see why they went that way. The alien design allowed the skull to have a humanoid-like shape, making the "twist" more of a twist. I loved the alien tomb though. Those 13 skeletons sitting in a circle were bad-ass.

The idea of the "Greys" has been around since HG Wells first wrote about them c.1900.

It is neither a particularly 50s or 90s design, just one that was heavily referred to in popular culture during those times.

HOWEVER, the term "little green men" was more heavily in the 50s so one would expect a 50s pulp story to include them.


A grey alien in the fifties would look tons different than a grey in the nineties. Just like how a chevy in the fifties looks different from a chevy now a days.
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Postby Vegeta on Mon May 26, 2008 11:40 pm

Vicarious wrote:For those that hated this film, like myself, I strongly encourage another viewing. I went again just to see if it really was that bad and this time I just went along with it... enjoyed the silliness. It's not "Indy," nor is it particularly well made, but it is fun.

Formerly 4/10, now 6/10.


That may be... but I am not paying to see this cinematic abortion again.
Sorry, that was probably a little harsh. :-P
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Postby Maui on Tue May 27, 2008 12:27 am

Vegeta wrote:
That may be... but I am not paying to see this cinematic abortion again.
Sorry, that was probably a little harsh. :-P


No, just do a theatre sneak.
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Postby The Vicar on Tue May 27, 2008 12:28 am

Indiana Jones by Charles Dickens?

( SPOILERS? LOTS OF 'EM )

Not a review - no need for that.

Some people's great expectations regarding Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull just seem to have been ridiculous. This was never going to be, nor was it ever meant to be, the Greatest Indiana Jones Film of All Time. That's Raiders of the Lost Ark you're thinking of. You weren't ever going to beat that. Can't be done.

For what it's worth -

To expect Indy to be the exact same hard ass guy he was over 20 years ago is absurd. Only a poorly drawn, two dimensional character would play that way. Indy may have been the stuff of Saturday morning serials but he was human. He loved Marion and several posters here don't seem to get it. He was ready to die in the street to kill Belloq and get riddled full of holes by Arabs with machine guns because he watched Marian die.
Even so, so what?
Not really giving Doctor Jones much credit, are you?

Yeah, he went on and had a shit load of different adventures, adventures that were dictated by the times he lived through. Raiders starts when two government men toss the Ark problem into his lap. Wouldn't the government start looking at this guy as a goto kind of player? Governments tend to remember people who find Lost Arks and Holy Grails.
The Sankara Stones?
please.

This was a farewell tour. A parting gift to everyone who was ever just glad to see Indiana Jones and his occasional stunt double walk through their door, one more time.

Indiana Jones is an old friend I haven't seen in twenty some years. I 'm willing to cut appropriate slack, cause because I miss having him around. The Brenden Frazer/Mummy stuff was lots of fun, but how much cooler would they have been as Indiana Jones films?

We are being given a chance to say good bye to Indiana Jones, a 65 year
old newlywed raising a son and laboring in academia, who used to really get into shit and comes out of academia/retirement for one last go.
"It ain't the years, honey, it's the mileage..."


In Raiders it was Marion's missing father that starts the ball. In Skull, it's Marion's son with a new mission. Balance. The ties that bind. The lovely farewells to Marcus Brody ( painting and statue and photo ) and Denholm Elliot, who would have been there if he could. The villians were a bit weak, but they didn't get all that much screen time. That's a plus on balance. The Ark. Melting Russians. Marian. Aw layoff the goddam prairie dogs. Area 51 is in the gorram desert and the desert is rotten with prairie dogs. They weren't Caddyshack terrible. They didn't have any lines. No sex scenes. Speilberg is bonerific over animals. Dogs, when ever practicable, but prairie dogs when nothing else is handy.
What, you want he should hire a Gila Monster? No facial expression, just like Joan Rivers.

Could it have been better? Jesus, couldn't everything? Does it fit nicely into the Indiana Jones Canon? In almost every way, yes.
And, in point of fact, you CAN use a boa constrictor to get yourself out of a sand trap. It's something Lucas/Speilberg borrowed from the old serials Indy was birthed by.

It was just meant to be fun. They didn't outright wink at us, tear at The Wall or camp it up ( although Cate........damn). I'm only sorry there will never be more than four Indiana Jones films. This Indy.

I'm glad he's going out in style, with monster box office.
( It's also amazing how Iron Man is still racking up numbers. )
It's the least we can do for a guy who made going to the cinema fun.

I'm not stepping on anybody else's slams of Indy4, just reacting to the negatives. The voting looks like a dead heat, with as many scoring it a 7 or above as below. The American public seemed to go apeshit for it. Next week will be the true test. I'll pitch in and try to keep it on top.
For Raiders alone, I owe Indy that.
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Postby Retardo_Montalban on Tue May 27, 2008 12:33 am

Maui wrote:
Vegeta wrote:
That may be... but I am not paying to see this cinematic abortion again.
Sorry, that was probably a little harsh. :-P


No, just do a theatre sneak.


I suggested that back in page 25
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Postby Vegeta on Tue May 27, 2008 12:43 am

Very nice "review", Vicar! I will say that you gave me a couple of points to ponder that I hadn't quite given much pause. I thank you for that. Maybe I will change my mind when I eventually catch KOTCS on DVD.
I think the so called "hate" is more of a "pile on of disappointment". I never said I hated KOTCS, I just said that I didn't think it was very good. And honestly, there is a lot of rather large targets to pick at (far beyond gophers) in KOTCS.
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Postby Maui on Tue May 27, 2008 12:48 am

Yeah, Vic always knows how to put things in perspective.


*Maui goes and hangs her head in the corner*
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Postby RogueScribner on Tue May 27, 2008 1:09 am

Maui wrote:
Vegeta wrote:
That may be... but I am not paying to see this cinematic abortion again.
Sorry, that was probably a little harsh. :-P


No, just do a theatre sneak.


Interesting proposition. Maybe I'll buy a ticket for Speed Racer and sneak into this one. :-P
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Postby Lady Sheridan on Tue May 27, 2008 1:24 am

The Vicar wrote:Could it have been better? Jesus, couldn't everything? Does it fit nicely into the Indiana Jones Canon? In almost every way, yes.
And, in point of fact, you CAN use a boa constrictor to get yourself out of a sand trap. It's something Lucas/Speilberg borrowed from the old serials Indy was birthed by.


Old serials -- always bastions of factual accuracy...

In theory, I suppose you could, but not without completely killing the snake. You would basically be putting a snake on the rack if you used it as a rope. Once a snake began suffering that kind of pain, it would thrash around and probably deliver one hell of a bite to whoever had the other end. (And constrictors can land one heck of a bite.) Which means you would let it go, and sink to your death in the sand.

Not to mention, a snake is slippery as hell. Not slimy, but completely smooth. No traction. And with sweaty hands? Good luck.

Indy was only knee deep in the sand when he sent Shia and Ox off for help...why the hell didn't he throw them his whip and use THAT as a rope?

I will suspend my disbelief with Indy films -- I even swallowed him leaping off the tank and clutching dead weeds in Last Crusade. But it wasn't THAT kind of disbelief, it was stupidity borne out of the desire for a wacky snake gag.
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Postby Chairman Kaga on Tue May 27, 2008 1:28 am

I haven't seen the film yet but to play devil's advocate snakes scales tend to only be "smooth" in one direction to aid in their locomotion (in the case of a Boa/Python its rectilinear locomotion). If the snake's head was facing him while he pulled himself up, as I assume it probably is based on the description of the gag, he would actually be going "against the grain" so to speak of the snakes scales thus it wouldn't be slippery.
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Postby Retardo_Montalban on Tue May 27, 2008 1:32 am

Chairman Kaga wrote:I haven't seen the film yet but to play devil's advocate snakes scales tend to only be "smooth" in one direction to aid in their locomotion. If the snake's head was facing him while he pulled himself up he would actually be going "against the grain" so to speak of the snakes scales thus it wouldn't be slippery.


That's fine on Indy's end, but what about Shia's tapery end? The snake gag would have been funnier if Indy outright refused to use the snake and sunk into the sand pit only to pull himself out from shear force of will or to have Marion jump in and save him.
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Postby Lord Voldemoo on Tue May 27, 2008 1:46 am

To expect Indy to be the exact same hard ass guy he was over 20 years ago is absurd. Only a poorly drawn, two dimensional character would play that way.


Point very much taken. One thing that bothered me though was how he seemed to vacillate between Dr. Henry Jones, Jr. and an (somewhat feeble) attempt at the Indy hardass. The Indy hardass persona felt about as believable to me as a cow typing on the internet. The bits with him playing Dr. Jones, though, were kinda fun (I loved the gag when he slides into the library on the motorcycle and starts lecturing that kid on archaeology).

Indy may have been the stuff of Saturday morning serials but he was human. He loved Marion and several posters here don't seem to get it. He was ready to die in the street to kill Belloq and get riddled full of holes by Arabs with machine guns because he watched Marian die.


Agreed 100%. That's why it was so disappointing that the two of them had absolutely 0 chemistry up to (and most certainly including) the kiss that would have creeped my grandparents out...

This was a farewell tour. A parting gift to everyone who was ever just glad to see Indiana Jones and his occasional stunt double walk through their door, one more time.


I'm glad that was enough for you, i wish it'd been enough for me, i really do...


The lovely farewells to Marcus Brody ( painting and statue and photo ) and Denholm Elliot, who would have been there if he could.


Really?? I'm shocked the Brody-lovers who have been lambasting Last Crusade aren't out in droves about their last little bit of comic relief at his expense chopping off the head of his statue. Even I thought that was actually kinda in bad taste...but maybe i was just being overly sensitive.


The villians were a bit weak, but they didn't get all that much screen time. That's a plus on balance. The Ark. Melting Russians. Marian. Aw layoff the goddam prairie dogs. Area 51 is in the gorram desert and the desert is rotten with prairie dogs. They weren't Caddyshack terrible. They didn't have any lines. No sex scenes. Speilberg is bonerific over animals. Dogs, when ever practicable, but prairie dogs when nothing else is handy.
What, you want he should hire a Gila Monster? No facial expression, just like Joan Rivers.


JUSTIFY THE MONKEYS! heheheheh

Could it have been better? Jesus, couldn't everything?


that's a specious argument. Not to be a Struggling Background Artist, but yeah you can say that about anything.

Does it fit nicely into the Indiana Jones Canon? In almost every way, yes.


I didn't think so. Not really. The more i think about this movie the more i'm annoyed by it, honestly. I've already gone off about WHY it doesn't work with the other 3 films above so i wont rehash it here.


And, in point of fact, you CAN use a boa constrictor to get yourself out of a sand trap.


No you can't.

It was just meant to be fun. They didn't outright wink at us, tear at The Wall or camp it up ( although Cate........damn)


I'm with you there. They could have made it uber-camp and I was really afraid that with Lucas' ALF sense of humor they might have. I just didn't have as much fun with it as I wanted to.

I'm glad he's going out in style, with monster box office.
( It's also amazing how Iron Man is still racking up numbers. )
It's the least we can do for a guy who made going to the cinema fun.


Strangely, i'm glad that it's doing well financially even though i didn't like the film...though i can't really explain why. I think i'm genetically incapable of rooting against Indy. heh. The Speed Racer freaks should be really pissed about this one, tho (and the Caspian fans).

I'm not stepping on anybody else's slams of Indy4, just reacting to the negatives. The voting looks like a dead heat, with as many scoring it a 7 or above as below. The American public seemed to go apeshit for it. Next week will be the true test. I'll pitch in and try to keep it on top.
For Raiders alone, I owe Indy that.


I'm glad you liked it. i wish I liked it nearly as much. I just couldn't get there, unfortunately. It's doing HUGE business, no doubt, but I do wonder what the general feelings of the audiences are coming out? My audience was quite subdued when it was over. I'm wondering if others had the same experience?

I'm not trying to have a go at you vicar, just responding in kind to keep discussion going.
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