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PostPosted: Tue Dec 13, 2005 9:07 am
by asphyx
i just hate it when the bad guy has the hero in his power and instead of just killing him he decides to tell him all about his cunning plan, giving the hero's friends just enough time to come to the rescue...

also, bombs that are somehow defused just the second the ticker reaches 1 - that is soooo old!

PostPosted: Tue Dec 13, 2005 6:19 pm
by circyn
There's a killer in the neighbourhood and every single girl likely to get slaughtered walks around in a house with no lights on and opens the door/looks out the window to investigate a noise.

I hate that ..... done to death (excuse the pun)

PostPosted: Tue Dec 13, 2005 6:22 pm
by Chairman Kaga
How is that a cliche in the new King Kong (depression era person stuffing their face) when that happened in the original?

Cpt Kirks 2pay wrote:Only, it's only at this point does he finally decide to take the fucking safety off, letting it make a huge loud 'CLICK!!!!!!!' sound, blowing his cover, letting his victim spin around or whatever, then shooting him dead.

What a PUTZ!

Silence of the Lambs lost all it's credibility at this point. It ALWAYS happens.
.

I always thought he was thumbing the hammer in that scene..

PostPosted: Wed Dec 14, 2005 5:31 am
by Pops Freshenmeyer
Chairman Kaga wrote:How is that a cliche in the new King Kong (depression era person stuffing their face) when that happened in the original?


Although it probably wasn't cliche back then, it is now since we've seen it so many times. Like the bullet proof vest scene in Lethal Weapon, the first one. It was well done and wasn't cliche back then. Nowadays, it's totally a cliche. At least Shane Black had good enough sense to turn that cliche on it's head in Kiss Kiss Bang Bang.

asphyx wrote:i just hate it when the bad guy has the hero in his power and instead of just killing him he decides to tell him all about his cunning plan, giving the hero's friends just enough time to come to the rescue...


I hear you. Exposition is damn hard to work around. Minor exposition problem but in Kong, Jack Black tells Colin Hanks they need to find a screenplay to film. He's the director and he's telling his assistant this and refers to it as a screenplay. You would think that they would be comfortable enough to have a shorthand going on and actually call it a script but no, they have to say "screenplay" so the audience is completely on top of it.

As opposed to inundating us with exposition, how about letting us figure it out. No one's gonna be lost if they use the term script.

I know this is very petty and minute, but seriously. I think audiences are a step ahead of where filmmakers think they are.

PostPosted: Wed Dec 14, 2005 5:56 am
by Agent Alonzo
Grizzled army general at wooden table surrounded by various important types. Scientist and good looking girl tell him about aliens/earthquake/nuclear warhead/psychic dolphins/crazed giant rabbits with knitting needles. AFter much disbelief, they finally put their big piece of evidence on him. He stares at that like he still doesn't believe, before turning to his subordinate and snapping...

"Get me the President"

At which point the underling picks up the special phone...



It is also my ambition in life to play the 'Get the President' guy in some really bad B movie...

PostPosted: Wed Dec 14, 2005 6:01 am
by doglips
And then the President will either dismiss the evidence, leaving the scientist to overcome the invading armada and political blockades OR the President will defeat the enemy himself by instilling good old fashioned values in his troops /people / country and leading them to victory..........

PostPosted: Thu Dec 15, 2005 2:09 pm
by jgraphix
I just thought of one...

The shot where the hero is running from an explosion and jumps for cover ( a cliché in itself) into water and we get the cam shot of them swimming with the fire above them.

PostPosted: Thu Dec 15, 2005 2:45 pm
by Ribbons
How 'bout whenever somebody has an axe or a knife or something, and they're facing the person they despise, who happens to be in a vulnerable position? And then they rear back the axe or knife or something and go "Erraarrrrgh!" and swing it, and then: cut to shot of their enemy wincing on the ground, and the axe or knife or something has either been used to free them from their bonds or has been thrust into the ground or wall or something?

PostPosted: Thu Dec 15, 2005 2:46 pm
by Cpt Kirks 2pay
Good guys always win.

Love conquers all.

Hero always gets the girl.

Always a Happy Ending.

PostPosted: Thu Dec 15, 2005 2:59 pm
by MelaWolf
Whoever is happy, well-adjusted and whose family loves him is going to die first.

"This here's a picture of my lovely wife. She's just had our first baby boy. I love that woman."

*BANG*

PostPosted: Thu Dec 15, 2005 3:46 pm
by DorkmanScott
Buzz McCool wrote:The phrase "You look like you've seen a ghost" is only ever used when the other person has actually seen a ghost (or soemone they thought was dead or will be dead in the future or whatever)

I just watched The Jacket last night and I screamed at my TV when they dared to use this stupid line.

DinoDeLaurentiis wrote:Anna right a before a the shot, he gotta to say something like "Fried egg anna ham samich, you sonofa..." BOOM!!!

Goddamn....

This may be the funniest thing I've ever fucking read.

jgraphix wrote:The shot where the hero is running from an explosion and jumps for cover ( a cliché in itself) into water and we get the cam shot of them swimming with the fire above them.

The shot of the explosion behind a person as they jump/dive for cover has never, ever worked. I have never seen it done in any way that doesn't look stupid.

Pops Freshenmeyer wrote:I hear you. Exposition is damn hard to work around. Minor exposition problem but in Kong, Jack Black tells Colin Hanks they need to find a screenplay to film. He's the director and he's telling his assistant this and refers to it as a screenplay. You would think that they would be comfortable enough to have a shorthand going on and actually call it a script but no, they have to say "screenplay" so the audience is completely on top of it.

Would they have called it a script back then? Maybe it's actually accurate. :P

My most loathed cliches are both directorial issues, and mainly with regards to horror movies.

One, the shot is framed with a character way off to the side, with a doorway or window or hillside or something else that you just KNOW something is going to happen over there, something's going to come crashing through the window, or appear in the doorway when the camera cuts to a reverse angle and then back, or something stupid. Just telegraphs it from miles away.

Two, the soundtrack goes silent (or, alternatively, quietly tense strings hold a 7th chord) as a character slowly enters a room where something creepy is going on, discovers some crazy secret or a clue that things are not as they seem, then a hand falls on their shoulder and the entire orchestra fucking explodes with noise -- and of course it's just the boyfriend or drunken chum making sure they're okay. WTF? Doesn't anyone have the brains to call out and let people know they're there instead of sneaking up on their goddamn friends all the time?

In the same vein, someone's in a dark room with some kind of creature or slasher, with a flashlight, they hear a noise, swing the light over, and it's a cat knocking something over. Why is it always a goddamn cat? Then of course they relax completely and are summarily murdered the moment they turn around.

PostPosted: Fri Dec 16, 2005 6:16 pm
by Keepcoolbutcare
Characters "escaping" into elevators, doors are closing and what do the pursuers do...just stand there, gripe, pound walls...intstead of STICKING THEIR HANDS, GUNS, KNIVES, COCKS or whatever into doors to prevent them from closing.

Puh-leeze.

I guess T2 had a good riff on this, with the T-1000 actually ripping the doors open...'course, he got a shotgun to the face for his troubles, but at least the T-1000 tried.

PostPosted: Fri Dec 16, 2005 6:27 pm
by havocSchultz
keepcoolbutcare wrote:Characters "escaping" into elevators, doors are closing and what do the pursuers do...just stand there, gripe, pound walls...intstead of STICKING THEIR COCKS or whatever into doors to prevent them from closing.


i tried this once - actually more pleasurable than you'd expect... especially one of those elevators that just keeps closing - then opening - then closing - then opening... ahhhh memories...

or how bout in some movies - when somebody wants to express themselves and can't find the way - so they suddenly break into song - and then everybody suddenly breaks into song - then suddenly they're all professional singers and dancers and all the bystanders that are bystanding around that don't break into song and dance don't think nothing of it... like what - is this the fucking sound of music or what the hell...

PostPosted: Sat Dec 17, 2005 5:59 pm
by minstrel
Has anyone mentioned "I'm getting too old for this s***"?

That is one cliched line!

PostPosted: Sat Dec 17, 2005 6:01 pm
by minstrel
Also, there's that hack bit in which a character is about to tell the hero the information the hero really needs (the identity of the villain, or something), and says "The information you need to know is URRRK!" And he gets stabbed or shot or otherwise killed JUST AS HE'S ABOUT TO REVEAL THE IMPORTANT INFO!!

PostPosted: Sat Dec 17, 2005 6:08 pm
by Pops Freshenmeyer
man, these cliches are so cliche, I'm shocked they still occur. It'll be difficult watching the already listed cliches still pop up in some future movies.

PostPosted: Sat Dec 17, 2005 6:25 pm
by Cpt Kirks 2pay
Americans talking about fucking baseball!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Talking about the Nicks or whatever, like the rest of the world that will watch the film will give a shit.

PostPosted: Sat Dec 17, 2005 6:38 pm
by Chairman Kaga
Cpt Kirks 2pay wrote:Americans talking about fucking baseball!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Talking about the Nicks or whatever, like the rest of the world that will watch the film will give a shit.

Good point.

PostPosted: Sat Dec 17, 2005 6:41 pm
by Cpt Kirks 2pay
The line 'Do you think the Nicks are gonna win next season?' completely ruined a brilliant, fascinating moment in The Insider.

PostPosted: Sat Dec 17, 2005 6:41 pm
by Keepcoolbutcare
characters plunging off precipices, preposterously plucked from peril.

PostPosted: Sun Dec 18, 2005 12:52 am
by Ribbons
Chairman Kaga wrote:
Cpt Kirks 2pay wrote:Americans talking about fucking baseball!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Talking about the Nicks or whatever, like the rest of the world that will watch the film will give a shit.

Good point.


I would just like to add that the Knicks are a basketball team. Goddamn putzes...

PostPosted: Sun Dec 18, 2005 1:32 am
by Gheorghe Zamfir
RockyDennis wrote:Just once I want to see an action movie where the main charactor in the stressful moment knows how to defuse a bomb.


No where did this make less sense than Armageddon. The guy is struggling with the red wire, green wire cliche, hello, its YOUR BOMB, you were brought on the mission cause you're the BOMB EXPERT, you learned everything about the bomb except for which one of the two wires would defuse it? Sheez.

PostPosted: Sun Dec 18, 2005 4:40 am
by Nachokoolaid
Cpt Kirks 2pay wrote:Good guys always win.

Love conquers all.

Hero always gets the girl.

Always a Happy Ending.


Reminds me of REQUIUM FOR A DREAM.

I hate the cliche where the parents (who've most likely been fighting, and have sworn not to have another kid, but have just made up ask their kid what they want for X-mas/Birthday, etc., and he/she says "A baby brother" and the folks look at each other and give each other a knowing smile like they're saying, "Well kid, with the way we just made up and I knocked thsi pussy out, it should be about nine months."

That's pretty shitty.

PostPosted: Sun Dec 18, 2005 4:43 am
by Nachokoolaid
DorkmanScott wrote:The shot of the explosion behind a person as they jump/dive for cover has never, ever worked. I have never seen it done in any way that doesn't look stupid.


TRUE LIES did it right. There were others, but that shot of Arnie jumping off the pier is one of my favorite jumping from an explosion shots.

PostPosted: Mon Dec 19, 2005 3:59 am
by Pops Freshenmeyer
Cpt Kirks 2pay wrote:Americans talking about fucking baseball!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


This cliche will occur in movies as long as it occures in reality. It's like the cliche where the guy likes the girl. Or when somebody dies from a gunshot wound. That never happens in real life. Or does it?

When I posted the cliche of a scene starting with a hungry person gorging on a meal provided by someone that wants something from them, I was afraid I may have been a little petty but I don't think so anymore. Some things are very cliche but some things are true to life. People talk about sports.

For me, a cliche is a commonly used movie moment that occurs much more often in films than in reality. Ripping one's shirt open to show the audience one's bulletproof vest as opposed to talking about sports.

I myself have a hard time distinguishing between cliche and almost cliche. For instance I found the Kong '33 reference in Kong '05 a bit cliche. Especially the forced laughter from my fellow moviegoers that laughed not because it was funny, it wasn't, but because they wanted their neighbors to know that clever allusion, that personal inside joke between director and audience member wasn't lost on them. Cliche. I suppose if Fay Wray was alive, they would've cameoed her. I think that's cliche. Giving someone a cameo because they were in the original. Like in War of the Worlds or countless other movies.

The next level of cliche is inside joke that isn't. It's supposed to be an inside joke yet everyone in the theater gets it. In this case, Kevin Smith's films are a string of cliches.

PostPosted: Mon Jan 02, 2006 2:30 pm
by Cpt Kirks 2pay
You have a right to remain silent. You have a right to an attorney. If you do not have an attorney, one will be appointeed to you. If you give up that right to remain silent...

OH FUCK OFF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

PostPosted: Sun Feb 12, 2006 11:27 am
by Doc Holliday
Just randomly watching TV yesterday and it popped into my head


Bad Guys...is your Safe-House under surveillance? Don't worry, just stroll right up and walk in, safe in the knowledge that WITHOUT FAIL you will be doing so during the only ten seconds that day the watching cop will have turned round to remonstrate with his partner/stooped to pick something up off the floor/ a big dumpster drives past.

PostPosted: Sun Feb 12, 2006 12:30 pm
by Cpt Kirks 2pay
Every time a detective is questioning the suspect who most of the time IS the guilty party of a crime, the scene I guarantee you, will always involve the detective asking loads of questions that the suspect will outwit with his allibi answers thus getting imself off the hook.

BUT, just as it's all over, this is when the detective finally nails the suspect when the detective says, "Oh, one more thing before you go..." followed by a question that will ALWAYS prove the suspect to be the guilty party.

Keep a look out for it. I picked it up from Sam Gerard questioning Jerone Krabbe (the bad doctor) at the Chicago Hilton Hotel, and in Match Point (though without SPOILING things, the detective shoots himself in the foot later on and fucks it up for himself).

PostPosted: Sun Feb 12, 2006 12:35 pm
by Doc Holliday
Cpt Kirks 2pay wrote:Every time a detective is questioning the suspect who most of the time IS the guilty party of a crime, the scene I guarantee you, will always involve the detective asking loads of questions that the suspect will outwit with his allibi answers thus getting imself off the hook.

BUT, just as it's all over, this is when the detective finally nails the suspect when the detective says, "Oh, one more thing before you go..." followed by a question that will ALWAYS prove the suspect to be the guilty party.

Keep a look out for it. I picked it up from Sam Gerard questioning Jerone Krabbe (the bad doctor) at the Chicago Hilton Hotel, and in Match Point (though without SPOILING things, the detective shoots himself in the foot later on and fucks it up for himself).


Keep an eye out for it? This whole premise MADE the career of at least one actor I can think of....

Image

Good one Kirk!

PostPosted: Mon Feb 13, 2006 1:39 am
by MiltonWaddams
CHIEF: You busted up that crackhouse pretty bad McGarnigle. Did you really have to break all that furniture?

McGARNIGLE: I don't know chief, you musta had a pretty good view from behind your DESK!

http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-2460944945363859076

I think that's a pretty appropriate video for the thread. My least favorite cliche is the one where characters get seperated, and one will say "Your husband is dead, he has to be, the plane crashed into the side of the mountain", and the wife says "Oh, he's alive, I just know it, I can feel it in my bones.". Lo and behold, he's alive. Fuck that.

Cpt Kirks 2pay wrote:You have a right to remain silent. You have a right to an attorney. If you do not have an attorney, one will be appointeed to you. If you give up that right to remain silent...

OH FUCK OFF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


OH I hate that! Or when cops use guns and handcuffs, please!

Four Cliches

PostPosted: Mon Feb 13, 2006 4:08 am
by mehatch
as many cliches as I have abs.....

1.“When should I open itâ€

Re: Four Cliches

PostPosted: Mon Feb 13, 2006 5:47 am
by Tubbs Tattsyrup
[quote="mehatch"]1.“When should I open itâ€

PostPosted: Mon Feb 13, 2006 5:51 am
by Doc Holliday
Hero or Heroine of the piece says to accompanying damsel-in-distress/pathetic guy

"Wait here whilst I go disable the guards/check on hostage/bypass the security system".

Predictably, despite any lack of formal combat training, said Mule goes wandering off to find a means of being put in further jeopardy ten minutes hence...

PostPosted: Mon Feb 13, 2006 5:56 am
by Tubbs Tattsyrup
"Oh no, the killer's name is an anagram of some other character's name!"

Scenes where you have nothing but two characters walking resolutely down a corridor talking about some vastly important matter. Like, they have nowhere else to set the scene, so it's like - corridor! Yay! Star Trek is a reeeal victim of this. The West Wing did a nice parody of it though.

PostPosted: Thu Feb 16, 2006 12:47 pm
by Dotta Jones
I hate when movies always feature some sort of really old Indian who seems to know everything about the plot and spoon feeds us the facts. It's almost as if the audience isn't trusted to be smart enough to understand the movie (which is further re-enforced by the clumsy English the person often speaks).

PostPosted: Thu Feb 16, 2006 12:59 pm
by cap
Vegeta wrote:Speaking of the "wooden sounding sound FX" alot of you have been talking about: Probably twenty years ago HBO used to run a short (I don't know if it had a title) of a split screen fight. One side was the fight and the other was a sound fx guy watching a making the sounds. He'd break boards, punch sides of beef, make running or stumbling sound fx. it was actually pretty neat. Does anyone remeber that or if it had a title?


Don't remember the title, but I remember the short. I was pretty neat to watch.

PostPosted: Thu Feb 16, 2006 1:03 pm
by cap
Doc Holliday wrote:Hero or Heroine of the piece says to accompanying damsel-in-distress/pathetic guy

"Wait here whilst I go disable the guards/check on hostage/bypass the security system".

Predictably, despite any lack of formal combat training, said Mule goes wandering off to find a means of being put in further jeopardy ten minutes hence...


If people would just listen.... Especially since their bacon was already saved by said hero/heroine.

Every time I see that now I get that - I just sat in something wet - look on my face.

Another thing that is very cliche is every hero in an action movie has to have a total ass kickin car.
And the bad guy has to have his own goofy theme music.

PostPosted: Fri Apr 14, 2006 1:31 pm
by Cpt Kirks 2pay
If I see you round these parts I'll kill you.

If I see you round my wife and children, I'll kill you.

If I see you looking at my wife, I'll kill you.

If I see you talking to my wife, I'll kill you.

If I see you near my house, I'll....

OH SHUT UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

PostPosted: Fri Apr 14, 2006 1:35 pm
by Chairman Kaga
Cpt Kirks 2pay wrote:You have a right to remain silent. You have a right to an attorney. If you do not have an attorney, one will be appointeed to you. If you give up that right to remain silent...

OH FUCK OFF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm lost on this one since this is an actual police procedure. Since this is something that happens on a constant basis in the US it's like complaining that Gravity prevents people from floating off into space in movies.

PostPosted: Fri Apr 14, 2006 1:43 pm
by Chairman Kaga
I like that somehow this fits in with your avatar.

PostPosted: Fri Apr 14, 2006 1:43 pm
by Cpt Kirks 2pay
Chairman Kaga wrote:
Cpt Kirks 2pay wrote:You have a right to remain silent. You have a right to an attorney. If you do not have an attorney, one will be appointeed to you. If you give up that right to remain silent...

OH FUCK OFF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm lost on this one since this is an actual police procedure.


Yeah, but that don't give it reason to keep on being repeated in movie after movie, especially as the movie makers know that even the audience know it off by heart.

I HATE IT YOU HERE ME?!?!?! I HATE IT!!!!!!!!!!!!

PostPosted: Fri Apr 14, 2006 1:43 pm
by Lady Sheridan
I posted about this in the Heist thread already but it deserves repeating!

There's a tough girl cop, and she's at the range, and one of her fellow tough cop girls is at the asks: "So, how was your date last night" or "What's up with you and Steve?"

And Tough Girl Cop #1 promptly empties a clip into the paper target, and answers flippantly. "It sucked/it's not going well"

PostPosted: Fri Apr 14, 2006 1:45 pm
by thomasgaffney
Lady Sheridan wrote:I posted about this in the Heist thread already but it deserves repeating!

There's a tough girl cop, and she's at the range, and one of her fellow tough cop girls is at the asks: "So, how was your date last night" or "What's up with you and Steve?"

And Tough Girl Cop #1 promptly empties a clip into the paper target, and answers flippantly. "It sucked/it's not going well"


Is it me or is it ironic that this post comes from a female zoner who has regaled us with tales of horrible dates and has an avatar that shows a woman emptying the clip of her pistol?

PostPosted: Fri Apr 14, 2006 1:47 pm
by Chairman Kaga
How she gets such terrible dates I will never understand.....

PostPosted: Fri Apr 14, 2006 1:49 pm
by Cpt Kirks 2pay
I don't actually think it's that much of a cliche myself.

PostPosted: Fri Apr 14, 2006 1:53 pm
by Al Shut
Cpt Kirks 2pay wrote:
Chairman Kaga wrote:
Cpt Kirks 2pay wrote:You have a right to remain silent. You have a right to an attorney. If you do not have an attorney, one will be appointeed to you. If you give up that right to remain silent...

OH FUCK OFF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm lost on this one since this is an actual police procedure.


Yeah, but that don't give it reason to keep on being repeated in movie after movie, especially as the movie makers know that even the audience know it off by heart.

I HATE IT YOU HERE ME?!?!?! I HATE IT!!!!!!!!!!!!


But you can't let every movie end with the criminals getting away because nobody read them their rights.

PostPosted: Fri Apr 14, 2006 1:55 pm
by Cpt Kirks 2pay
Al_Shut wrote:
Cpt Kirks 2pay wrote:
Chairman Kaga wrote:
Cpt Kirks 2pay wrote:You have a right to remain silent. You have a right to an attorney. If you do not have an attorney, one will be appointeed to you. If you give up that right to remain silent...

OH FUCK OFF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm lost on this one since this is an actual police procedure.


Yeah, but that don't give it reason to keep on being repeated in movie after movie, especially as the movie makers know that even the audience know it off by heart.

I HATE IT YOU HERE ME?!?!?! I HATE IT!!!!!!!!!!!!


But you can't let every movie end with the criminals getting away because nobody read them their rights.


Yeah, but can't we just skip that read 'em their rights bit?

I HATE THEM!!!!!

PostPosted: Fri Apr 14, 2006 2:07 pm
by Al Shut
If you skip that you would have to skip the whole arrest or you woould be up for some rough editing.

PostPosted: Fri Apr 14, 2006 2:08 pm
by Lady Sheridan
thomasgaffney wrote:Is it me or is it ironic that this post comes from a female zoner who has regaled us with tales of horrible dates and has an avatar that shows a woman emptying the clip of her pistol?


PWNT!! :lol:

Indeed, most of my problems would be solved if I just had the oppertunity to empty a clip or two. ;)

But in all seriousness, it's a shallow way to write any character, sort of a "It worked for Martin Riggs" approach. But when they did it in Lethal Weapon, it was funny and said something new about the character--Riggs was insane, but he was also a really good shot. But you never see a male character firing off several rounds in a frenzy of sexual frustration!

You never saw Dana Scully engage in such silliness and if there was ever a more lonely FBI Agent, it was her. Lara Croft would just save the paper and empty her clip into the man in question.

I think it's probably more of a TV cliche than a movie, but I know I've seen it several times which makes it a cliche.

PostPosted: Fri Apr 14, 2006 2:09 pm
by Cpt Kirks 2pay
Al_Shut wrote:If you skip that you would have to skip the whole arrest or you woould be up for some rough editing.


Look, can't we just shoot the fucker?