Official X-Men: The Last Stand Review Thread [SPOILERS!]

New movies! Old movies! B-movies! Discuss discuss discuss!!!

With 10 being the best and 1 being the worst, how would you rate X-Men: The Last Stand?

10
4
3%
9
4
3%
8
20
17%
7
27
23%
6
18
16%
5
12
10%
4
9
8%
3
7
6%
2
3
3%
1
5
4%
I will not be seeing this/I am waiting for DVD
6
5%
 
Total votes : 115

Postby Chairman Kaga on Tue May 23, 2006 9:29 pm

Or just a joke outtake of the Boy from Oz...
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Postby Peven on Tue May 23, 2006 9:48 pm

The Ginger Man wrote:
rob_merritt wrote:Its possible that people just want to hate this movie no matter what this film is likely to get more bad reviews than good.. Plus there is a bit of burn out from Super hero movies.


Where's Peven? :wink:


:P :wink: :lol:
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Postby MisterCynic on Tue May 23, 2006 9:56 pm

how can this movie be good? moriarty is a critic i generally align with pretty neatly... but this review just feels like hes saying a lot about nothing. so im guessing im not gonna like this movie at all. the clips speak volumes imo, moreso than any review, positive or negative.
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Postby raasnio on Tue May 23, 2006 10:06 pm

MasterWhedon wrote:
Chairman Kaga wrote:Does anyone know the after the credits spoiler scene?

No, but in the TB for Mori's review, he claims it's one of the three things Shermdawg posts here:

Oh btw, Mori, how about spoiling the...
by Shermdawg May 21st, 2006
04:02:27 AM CST
ultra secret scene after the credits. Is it Scott waking up in a hospital going crazy? Is it Moira visiting someone who sounds like Patrick Stewart? Or is it the rumored Hujh Jackman song and dance number? Please tell!!!

My money is on that they devised a way for either Scott or Xavier to return.


That's the safe bet, though if we forget about the actors playing them, I'd bet it's Scott.
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Postby Adam Balm on Tue May 23, 2006 10:14 pm

I just want to say that Vern is the funniest man on the planet...
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Postby havocSchultz on Tue May 23, 2006 10:15 pm

tfactor wrote: but apparently something chewed thru the power cable for my scanner/printer/expensive paper weight.



athena...?
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Postby Adam Balm on Tue May 23, 2006 10:20 pm

MasterWhedon wrote:
Cpt Kirks 2pay wrote:44% at Rotten Tomatoes, with 9 reviews. Ooouuuch!!!

Yeah, I noticed that. It's early yet. My bet is high 50s, low 60s come Friday.


Yeah, my experience with RT is that those wanting to trash a movie tend to get their reviews out the earliest, to try and influence public opinon the most. I noticed this when the first total for the DaVinci Code was 9%. (It later went up to 22%)
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Review for X-3

Postby Matt_ch on Wed May 24, 2006 1:37 am

REVIEW w/SPOILERS:

So I saw X-3: The Final Straw. Which is my own name for it, despite the cheesy name the Studio gave it. This review has some spoilers, without totally spoiling a movie that has already been spoiled by the studio.

X-Men is an extremely well written character driven comic. As a movie this is not the case. I did enjoy the movie, but its not a good movie. In fact if I didn't love the big blue fur ball, Colossus and Wolverine I'd likely find the movie silly and pretentious. If you haven't seen the first two films or read the books, its likely going to come accross as pointless. However I found I enjoy the Movie versions of the characters and have strong likings of them. Thus a mediocre finish can come off as enjoyable.

There is zero character development in this film for past characters. Well unless you consider death as a development or a poorly used plot tool.

The GOOD:

Kelsey Grammar is a great Beast. I didn't like the wire work, but the scene at the end where he spins on a pole to delived a kick followed by a good old fashioned Beast Bowling Strike was something I'd waited to see on film for years. That scene was as beautiful as the best Spiderman action....

Ice-Man vs. Pyro. It takes a while to get to, but when Ice-Man grows up in the fight you see something we've waited 3 movies to see from the Ice-Man.

Kitty Pryde is GREAT! Her powers are completely realized in this film, and she comes off strong. Her part in the final battle is classic Kitty Pryde using her powers and wits. However we still know nothing about her. She is just an X-Man with no past.... like too many characters in these movies.

The Not-So-Good:

Juggernaut looks like a rubber man. Wait he is. He also is no where near the powerhouse he is in the Comics. In the Final Battle scene Juggernaut picks up steam and runs at everyone bowling them down. In the real X-Verse, Collosus would have stepped up to go toe-to-toe with the big ugly. Instead we see nothing of the type.

Mystique is so badass in this you want more. However you don't get it, because she exits stage left way too early.

The so BAD... its Horrible/Unforgivable:

Jean Gray/Phoenix. Ok so she has a split personality. Professor X told us so. So why is it not once truly displayed? She never once refers to herself as Phoenix. In fact she just acts out of control for the most part, not some Evil version of herself. We get a taste... but its like this was an afterthought.

The Cure that isn't a cure. So you watch the movie for almost 2 hours putting up with a cure. Except in the final scene the bad guy who got cured shows that their powers are coming back. So they got upset over nothing!

Colossus. Pete gets to show his strength both in steel and out... but not at all. Besides lugging around a giant TV in the house, his only part is to be there to throw Wolverine at bad things whenever its requested. Thats right, no fighting by the big guy, just throwing Wolverine. Who shoots off him like a bad wire job.

Cyclops. He shows amazing depth worrying about Jean, and just when you think you might learn something about him and watch his character grow thru turmoil they just kill him, without showing you. So I suppose he could still be alive....

Professor X. He dies. He also explains that Jean has a split personality before dying. His sole purpose in the film was to tell us about it. Patrick Stewart may have worked on Oblivion the Xbox360 game longer than this movie.

Wolverine. Ok so I have finally gotten over the fact that the 5'5 living breathing embodiment of fury is 6'2. Those 9 extra inches didn't matter in this movie, because after the Danger Room scene Wolverine gets de-clawed. He is a wuss.

Ok so Wolverine is played by a good lookin guy. He is tall and full of Bravado. Chicks dig him. However in the comics he was a hairy short guy who puffs on cigars and is just damn rude. He falls for Jean in the comics too, except she doesn't love him or even give him the time of day. She loves Cyclops. Period.

I understand the fact that the actor is a good looking guy. However that doesn't mean kill the real love of Jean Gray just to get Wolverine to play his role in the Dark Phoenix Saga. Cyclops kills the only love of his life, and thats a far more moving scene than some guy who falls for a chick he never gets to kill her.

Magneto. He just does silly things. The point of destroying the Golden Gate bridge to get to Alcatraz? Yeah whatever. He goes out like a chump too.

Alcatraz. Put the source of the cure on Alcatraz. Really, the money making tourist spot would easily get sold to someone. Really. Ok I can buy a guy with claws, telekenesis, etc. but this stretches the whole suspension of disbelief for me.

That Chick with Super Speed. She has no purpose but to attack Storm. Oh and she has the power to grade mutants abilities and sense them. So she tells us who is a Level 3, 4, or 5 mutant (only Phoenix is a 5). Mutant Levels is this an RPG or a freakin movie?

CGI. Ok so a rubber muscle suit looked ok for a good bit, and bad for others, and un-noticable for the most part. Beast looks great until they put him in his X-Men uni. His arms make it look like the whole thing is a suit. So wait... I'm complaining about CGI. As bad as that is... the CGI is weird. Young Prof X and Young Magneto look like you're watching a video game. Except for their teeth. If you ever get the option to whiten your teeth thru CGI, choose Crest Whitening Strips instead, because CGI whitened teeth look funky.

Ice-Man's skills look HORRIFYINGLY BAD. Colossus looks like a mirror... he looks so bad you wonder if its the same guys who did the Roger Corman Fantastic 4 FX. Besides some storm to sunlight stuff that looked amazing the rest was LOW GRADE CGI. I mean bad, bad, bad. The Phoenix powers just look crappy. So bad that they don't even bother to render the floor in her old house after its destroyed it remains STAGE (yes I'm not kidding here). They stand on a stage surrounded by destroyed building....

The End. IS stupid. While the Juggernaut/Kitty sequence is brilliant and the Wolverine/Magneto scene works, the Ice-Man/Pyro scene rocks. Yet they still find a way to screw it all up. I just wanted to see what each member of the 6 man X-Men team did. You don't see it. Storm you see some and how she wins, you go "WTF! Why didn't she do that to begin with?" Kitty has her moment in the sun. Beast rocks, and Wolverine claws people in a no-blood manner. Bobby shows off as Ice-Man. If you're counting X-Men that comes out to 5. Colossus is there, but all he does is throw Wolverine. He literally does nothing else. So while you're waiting for the 6th X-Man to show his stuff, all of a sudden its the FINAL FIGHT, and everyone is out except Phoenix and Wolverine.

Which is a bad-ass scene in the sense that Phoenix has unbelievable powers and turns EVERYTHING and EVERYONE into ash in less than a second. Except Wolverine, see he heals faster than she destroys.....

Yeah right. Excuse me I stopped believing this silly stuff when it all got announced to take place on Alcatraz. Now you expect me to believe he heals faster than she dishes out destruction? She has destroyed the entire building (thus likely the Juggernaut inside), and many people in less than a second of her power hitting them. Yet Wolvie gets thru it?

I believed it in the comic when Jean pops out of her other self and begs Scott to blast her with his Optic Beam, which he does. That would have moved everyone in the theater. This ending was hard to swallow.

The Cure. Did I mention that it doesn't work? So again, they got upset over nothing!

So its The Final Straw. These people have sludged thru 3 poorly made renderings of the most amazing comic-book of all time. However these movies are still enjoyable.

I hope that its called the Last Stand because the rights have reverted back to Marvel. Then they can wait 5 years and make their own movies with new cast.... and make the X-Men we've been waiting for.

Cheers,

Matt
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Postby Matt_ch on Wed May 24, 2006 1:49 am

I should state:

I thought X-1 was ok borderline bad. It was 3 out of 10. I loved seeing some of my faves on the big screen and that made me like it far more than it was deserving. However Rogue would never be realized in true form after the horrible start given in the movies.

I thought X-2 was great opening day, but after 2nd viewing things bugged me. Why would Wolvie take 2 kids with him instead of that guy who turns into steel and looks badass? NightCrawler was a badass fun guy in the comics of the 70s and 80s, not some whining g-a-y, g-a-y, g-a-y zealot. He was hip not hippy. Interesting way to move towards the Phoenix saga at the end. Rogue continued down her doomed path as a character for the movie world. It was a 6 out of 10. Again I like the characters far too much and think to highly of the movie.
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Postby Seppuku on Wed May 24, 2006 3:11 am

Harry's XMEN 3 Review!!! And I scored a first post on what's probably the biggest article on this site since his King Kong review. (Don't bitch at me for the talkbackery remark, with it actually being the talkbacks and everything. When in Rome...).

Man, I've had about 6 firsts in the last 24 hours, that's gotta be some kind of a record. How about: worst spent 24 hours EVAR!

Oh yeah and Quint's review just popped-up as well:

Quint calls X3 "meandering", what an evil, foul-mouthed man he is. Then again you'd expect that kind of talk from a sailor.!
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Postby AtomicHyperbole on Wed May 24, 2006 3:55 am

Yo, should we have a spoiler forum? Whilst I appreciate people are listing their reviews here I don't feel the need to read massive spoilers.

Anyhow, now I'm fucking confused. Is this film good or not? WHY CAN'T EVERYONE PINPOINT THE SAME PROBLEMS? There are inconsistencies in BOTH Quint's and Harry's reviews, let alone Moriarty and Vern's. Then there's the other, outside reviews where the script is praised in a BAD review and knocked down in a GOOD review.

Not read reviews like this before.
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Postby AtomicHyperbole on Wed May 24, 2006 3:59 am

Brett Ratner could have made a better film had he had better time to acquaint himself with the material, better time to hone the material with the writers and the freedom to actually listen to the writers instead of the knuckleheads in charge of that studio.


*coffee splurts out of nose*
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Postby doglips on Wed May 24, 2006 4:02 am

So in short, X3 is mostly teh suck.
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Postby AtomicHyperbole on Wed May 24, 2006 4:05 am

Well, no, standing at 60% right now on Rotten Tomatoes.
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Postby Seppuku on Wed May 24, 2006 4:09 am

Have you actually read those "Fresh" reviews on Rotten Tomatoes? They're basically saying that the fact that it's not complete cinematic excrement works in its favour...that's one hell of a recommendation. That Tomatometer gives a positive to anyone giving the film 5/10 or above.
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Postby AtomicHyperbole on Wed May 24, 2006 4:13 am

Yes I have, and they're all over the place. I've been following reviews and posting them here, in fact I think there's ones on this thread that aren't even on the RT meter. Let alone there's rabidly vehement fans on SHH who're giving it good props.

I guarantee this is a 50/50 hate/love ratio thing. You're either gonna hate it or... er... maybe not love, but like it.
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Postby wheredidigo111 on Wed May 24, 2006 5:58 am

Let's face it there are more reviews saying that this movie is going to suck then there are saying it's great. Can you say Batman & Robin. But without the hip opening. This time we all know it's crap.
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Postby AtomicHyperbole on Wed May 24, 2006 6:44 am

Somehow I don't think it's going to be Batman and Robin. Reading Harry's review, the general public and those into the films (not the comics) will be ok with it, sounds like a fun ride. Most of the complaints come from not translating the comic book directly. A TON of the reviews contradict eachother, which is why I said - on this thread? - that it could be a film that only achieves half of what it sets out, balancing things dependent on your own individual requirements.

Not sure if Mori would be happy that Harry accuses him of giving it a "free pass" in the TB's. I don't think that's a fair comment. He starts a lot of his reviews for lacklustre films with "I saw this as a pack screening at the Alamo Drafthouse" and a ton of movies seem to pick him up in that, but not this. I don't often agree with Harry, as I don't feel he's a balanced reviewer in any way, but he comes from a personal geeky place and respect he is sporadic in his likes and dislikes because of it. Sometimes this means he's wide off base, but hell, it's his opinion as a geek.

This time he's reviewing it from an X-fans perspective rather than trying to enjoy the film... bit of a swing away from the previous Ratner hate too. But he obviously knows that, and accepts it, but can't forgive what they've done knowing the POTENTIAL of the movie.

I'm not going to see this film as a fan of the comics, nor as a major fan of the last two. The second had some great stuff, but felt incredibly messy to me. I'll see if it chimes in with that.
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Postby Seppuku on Wed May 24, 2006 6:54 am

Very well said AH, don't worry though, it's not long now before you get to be put out your misery (or feel pleasantly surprised). Me, I didn't entirely buy Harry's review...like I said in that talkback, it seems more like a 2am knee-jerk rant. Though I think he might have had a point with that comment where he said you wouldn't feel the need to give it a second or third watch.
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Postby AtomicHyperbole on Wed May 24, 2006 7:04 am

Well, I'm never gonna let him forget Van Helsing. :D No, seriously, I went to the cinema to see that cinematic abortion because there was the outside chance it'd be "fun". ;)

Actually, can't completely blame him as I've got a penchant for going to see bad movies to see how bad they are.

With you on that one 'Sep. Sounds like the cinematic equivalent of a Snickers bar. Not everyone likes peanuts, it's filling but you're hungry a few hours later - plus it's never been the same since they changed the name from Marathon.
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Postby Seppuku on Wed May 24, 2006 7:10 am

I swear Marathons tasted more Peanut Buttery, more like Reece Cups. Which in my book made them a hell of a lot better.

Try a Starbar to relive those old times.

You're right though, Snickers bars are hacktacular sell-outs.
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Postby AtomicHyperbole on Wed May 24, 2006 8:06 am

Whilst MSN US hated it, MSN UK are the opposite.

8/10

edit - I must be hallucinating. MSN US haven't reviewed it, no idea where I got that from.

Empire found it reasonable though.
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Postby Worst Part's Almost Over on Wed May 24, 2006 9:04 am

Can somebody just spoil it for me please and tell me exactly who the third person that dies is? I know the first two major players to snuff it...
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Postby AtomicHyperbole on Wed May 24, 2006 9:43 am

Mass's review is up -

And he really really didn't like it one bit.

Again, the film polarises opinion...

Masswyrm -
– the film manages to avoid achieving any emotional connection with the audience at all.


Harry -
After the film – I saw Massawyrm tremblingly upset, Robogeek visibly annoyed, Quint yawning, Merrick’s dust. The regular audience… they were entertained.
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Postby TonyWilson on Wed May 24, 2006 9:44 am

LOL I don't think annoying or so crap it uspets you is the emotional repsonse Masswyrm was talking about.
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Postby AtomicHyperbole on Wed May 24, 2006 10:01 am

I'm talking about the audience, dufus. ;)
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Postby Vegeta on Wed May 24, 2006 10:37 am

I will wait and see... no offense to Harry (since this is AICN), but I was never a big fan of his reviews. Usually, I disagreed with him quite often. But who knows with X3? I will say I am not stoked, but I'll cross my fingers for a good experience.
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Postby Peven on Wed May 24, 2006 10:50 am

AtomicHyperbole wrote:
Harry -
After the film – I saw Massawyrm tremblingly upset, Robogeek visibly annoyed, Quint yawning, Merrick’s dust. The regular audience… they were entertained.


oozing arrogance. if only we "regular audience" members were as worthy as the aicn crew. :roll:
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Postby TonyWilson on Wed May 24, 2006 11:10 am

Peven wrote:
AtomicHyperbole wrote:
Harry -
After the film – I saw Massawyrm tremblingly upset, Robogeek visibly annoyed, Quint yawning, Merrick’s dust. The regular audience… they were entertained.


oozing arrogance. if only we "regular audience" members were as worthy as the aicn crew. :roll:


He'll mean non x-men comic fans. I wouldn't say it was arrogant, there's a heck of a difference between a geek and an average moviegoer.
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Postby Chairman Kaga on Wed May 24, 2006 11:22 am

So as someone who is more familiar with the oldd animated show then the comic I supopose I won't have too much trouble with the movie. Good to hear.
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Postby tfactor on Wed May 24, 2006 11:24 am

Peven wrote:
AtomicHyperbole wrote:
Harry -
After the film – I saw Massawyrm tremblingly upset, Robogeek visibly annoyed, Quint yawning, Merrick’s dust. The regular audience… they were entertained.


oozing arrogance. if only we "regular audience" members were as worthy as the aicn crew. :roll:


ow no he didn't :shock:

b4nn3d!
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Postby MasterWhedon on Wed May 24, 2006 11:41 am

Well, those were all expected...

A good deal of what H@rry, Massawyrm and Quint have to say has me concerned, but I can still see me really, really liking this film, me being a comic fan and all.

It's up to 63% at Rotten Tomatoes.
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Postby Pacino86845 on Wed May 24, 2006 11:44 am

I don't trust comicbooks... their flimsiness to the touch is highly perturbing.
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Postby Matt_ch on Wed May 24, 2006 11:49 am

MOD EDIT - Removed. Gaffney
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Postby so sorry on Wed May 24, 2006 11:53 am

TonyWilson wrote:
Peven wrote:
At omicHyperbole wrote:
Harry -
After the film – I saw Massawyrm tremblingly upset, Robogeek visibly annoyed, Quint yawning, Merrick’s dust. The regular audience… they were entertained.


oozing arrogance. if only we "regular audience" members were as worthy as the aicn crew. :roll:


He'll mean non x-men comic fans. I wouldn't say it was arrogant, there's a heck of a difference between a geek and an average moviegoer.


wow, i can't beolieve i'm about to do this, but i think i actually agree with Peven!
Oh noes!
I read taht line from harry and had the same reaction...
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Postby Seppuku on Wed May 24, 2006 11:55 am

Harry's got a mobile wheel chair thingy? Are you being serious?
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Postby so sorry on Wed May 24, 2006 11:57 am

on second thought... scratch what i just said...
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Postby Chairman Kaga on Wed May 24, 2006 11:59 am

MASSIVE SPOILERS ther Matt_ch
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Postby tfactor on Wed May 24, 2006 11:59 am

great so it's not worth staying up until 2am for when you know you've got to get up the next day and work @ 9am. Not to mention unless I make friends in the theatre I'm not going to have many people to talk about this movie with for a couple days.

OK anyone want to buy two tickets for tonights midnight show?

Tickets here ... for tonights sold out show ... get your tickets here, only $20 :shock: :?
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Postby so sorry on Wed May 24, 2006 12:05 pm

tfactor wrote:great so it's not worth staying up until 2am for when you know you've got to get up the next day and work @ 9am. Not to mention unless I make friends in the theatre I'm not going to have many people to talk about this movie with for a couple days.

OK anyone want to buy two tickets for tonights midnight show?

Tickets here ... for tonights sold out show ... get your tickets here, only $20 :shock: :?

i'll buy them off you if i get to take your date :wink:
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Postby tfactor on Wed May 24, 2006 12:10 pm

ok maybe I should clarify ...

Anyone other than So Sorry want to buy two tickets to tonights show...
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Postby Matt_ch on Wed May 24, 2006 12:20 pm

seppukudkurosawa wrote:Harry's got a mobile wheel chair thingy? Are you being serious?


He has an electronic moving chair on 4 wheels like old people use, not exactly a wheel chair.
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Postby The Ginger Man on Wed May 24, 2006 12:24 pm

Chairman Kaga wrote:MASSIVE SPOILERS ther Matt_ch


I think Matt_ch was referring to what Massawyrm mentioned in his review.


POSSIBLE SPOILER IF YOU HAVEN'T READ MASSAWYRM'S REVIEW

[quote="Massawyrm"]we’re treated to a wrap up that begins to unravel virtually everything – that only adds insult to injury. It begins to say “Hey, remember that dead character. Maybe they’re not really dead. Remember all those people who lost their powers. Maybe the powers will come back.â€
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Postby Matt_ch on Wed May 24, 2006 12:28 pm

MOD EDIT - Removed. Gaffney
Last edited by Matt_ch on Wed May 24, 2006 12:29 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Postby doglips on Wed May 24, 2006 12:29 pm

Now that is a massive spoiler.
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Postby TonyWilson on Wed May 24, 2006 12:31 pm

Ah this is the infamous post credit moment. I read it on Chud and I must say that it's odd...but it should actually please the the comic book fans more than the non comic fans.
What is revealed basically mocks the previous 94 minutes but restores certain things to how they were before the film started.
Elitism is positing that your taste is equivalent to quality, you hate "Hamlet" does it make it "bad"? If you think so, you're one elite motherfucker.
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Postby ZombieZoneSolutions on Wed May 24, 2006 12:32 pm

Wellp, the Village Voice liked it:

http://www.villagevoice.com/film/0621,lim,73310,20.html

Why do I get the feeling that I am going to like this film despite
the fact that geeknation already "hates it" (you can always rely on
geeknation to bring the 'hate'; not having actually seen it
yet, but going to see it, multiple times, then buy several copies
of the DVD, all to 'prove' that they 'hated it', it 'sucks', and heres
a rambling, incoherent reason why; something to do with a long
forgotten corner of byzantine backstory minutae that nobody outside
of the unwashed, unloved, but very well fed crusty 800 pound comic
book guy knows or even remotely cares about...)

Point blank -- the average viewer hasn't internalized 20 years of
backstory and minutae, nor do they want to.

I don't expect X3 to be great, but I reckon of the reviews I read,
its OK and fun to watch, if somewhat disappointing given how
great the first two were.
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Postby Matt_ch on Wed May 24, 2006 12:32 pm

MASSIVE SPOILER WARNING!!!

thedoglippedone wrote:Now that is a massive spoiler.



SPOILERS:


Maybe so... but it's so revolting of an ending it has to be brought up.

How could they possibly have a movie be about something that doesn't work?

Well for the obvious reason:

They want to possibly use the "cured," mutants in new movies. So lets make sure we point out that its "temporary."

They better not be implying that only one person is "immune," to the cure for no apparent reason.
Last edited by Matt_ch on Wed May 24, 2006 12:39 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Postby The Ginger Man on Wed May 24, 2006 12:32 pm

Well fuck, dude. Now we do need a spoiler warning on the this thread.
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Postby doglips on Wed May 24, 2006 12:34 pm

Matt_ch wrote:
thedoglippedone wrote:Now that is a massive spoiler.

Maybe so... but it's so revolting of an ending it has to be brought up.

How could they possibly have a movie be about something that doesn't work?

Well for the obvious reason:

They want to possibly use the "cured," mutants in new movies. So lets make sure we point out that its "temporary."

They better not be implying that only one person is "immune," to the cure for no apparent reason.




Man, don't be a douche.

Put spoiler warnings up for this shit, please.

Some of us want to watch this tripe untainted........
Last edited by doglips on Wed May 24, 2006 12:45 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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