The Dark Tower (TV Show Time!)

New movies! Old movies! B-movies! Discuss discuss discuss!!!

Re: The Dark Tower (Now with ???% more HBO!!!???)

Postby Peven on Wed Aug 22, 2012 12:00 pm

="TheBaxter" it helps that horror films in general are cheap and easy to make a profit on.


and that is why the genre is so watered down with shit, just like romantic comedies, which are also cheap to make


has anyone considered that many King novels just aren't really written to be made into a satisfying movie? studios would be better served by looking back through old horror comics for some stories that would be much more adaptable, I remember reading some pretty creepy and gory comics back in the 70's and early 80's that would be just the ticket and the rights would be a lot cheaper to acquire, too
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Re: The Dark Tower (Now with ???% more HBO!!!???)

Postby TheBaxter on Wed Aug 22, 2012 12:24 pm

sometimes i read a King book and i can tell he's writing a certain scene with the eventual movie adaptation in mind. his earlier stuff was more film-friendly, but his later books (especially the ones after he got big enough to say "fuck you" to anyone who wanted him to get an editor) are not very filmable. then they end up as long boring tv miniseries with crappy dialogue because it's too close to the original material.
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Re: The Dark Tower (Now with ???% more HBO!!!???)

Postby caruso_stalker217 on Wed Aug 22, 2012 7:31 pm

I'd like to take part in this discussion but
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Re: The Dark Tower (Now with ???% more HBO!!!???)

Postby Peven on Wed Aug 22, 2012 11:25 pm

her hips should be registered as a deadly weapon.....
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Re: The Dark Tower (Now with ???% more HBO!!!???)

Postby TheBaxter on Thu Aug 23, 2012 9:32 am

she's hip-notic!
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Re: The Dark Tower (Now with ???% more HBO!!!???)

Postby Fievel on Tue May 21, 2013 2:56 am

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Re: The Dark Tower (Now with ???% more HBO!!!???)

Postby TheBaxter on Tue May 21, 2013 9:05 am

Dear Ron Howard,

STOP!

Sincerely,
Everyone
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Re: The Dark Tower (Now with ???% more HBO!!!???)

Postby so sorry on Tue May 21, 2013 9:30 am

TheBaxter wrote:Dear Ron Howard,

STOP!

Sincerely,
Everyone



Because of Ron Howard or because of the subject material? Just asking...
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Re: The Dark Tower (Now with ???% more HBO!!!???)

Postby Fievel on Tue May 21, 2013 10:07 am

The Dark Tower movies have become Ron Howard's personal Dark Tower.

And Russell Crowe is too fat to be Roland. Or at least has too much of a paunch. Did Guy Pearce piss on Ron Howard's wife when she was sleeping or something? Or was she awake? :shock:
Why not John Goodman as Roland then?
Paul Giamatti?
Peter Dinklage?
Morgan Freeman?
Ken Jeong?
Chloë Grace Moretz?
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Re: The Dark Tower (Now with ???% more HBO!!!???)

Postby Al Shut on Tue May 21, 2013 10:12 am

answer q): all of the above
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Re: The Dark Tower (Now with ???% more HBO!!!???)

Postby TheBaxter on Tue May 21, 2013 10:23 am

so sorry wrote:
TheBaxter wrote:Dear Ron Howard,

STOP!

Sincerely,
Everyone



Because of Ron Howard or because of the subject material? Just asking...


mostly RH. also because the material can only really be done justice with a GoT-style HBO series. stop this nonsense of movies and series alternating and whatnot.
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Re: The Dark Tower (Now with ???% more HBO!!!???)

Postby so sorry on Tue May 21, 2013 12:01 pm

TheBaxter wrote:
so sorry wrote:
TheBaxter wrote:Dear Ron Howard,

STOP!

Sincerely,
Everyone



Because of Ron Howard or because of the subject material? Just asking...


mostly RH. also because the material can only really be done justice with a GoT-style HBO series. stop this nonsense of movies and series alternating and whatnot.



Yeah this seems damned one way or the other....if by some miracle he did get this together, it can't possibly live up to the hype and anticipation, can it?
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Re: The Dark Tower (Now with ???% more HBO!!!???)

Postby caruso_stalker217 on Tue May 21, 2013 11:27 pm

I think this would make a great series for say an HBO or a Netflix. The problem is cost. Most shows take place really in only a few locations, because of money and so forth. This Dark Tower business nobody stays in one place for too long. They're always on the move. Going back and forth to New York and shit. Hanging out in the woods. Fighting giant robot bears. Also, Roland is a fairly cold bastard for most of the series. My fear is that they will water down the character. Soften him. The thought makes me sick to my stomach. And Russell Crowe, that studly fuck, he's no Roland. He might be able to pull off a Maximus, a beautiful fucking mind, something. Not in my house!

You want to go the affordable route, try this on for size:

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Think about it now. Motherfucker is starting to get good and grizzled. And don't tell me he won't work for TV money.

But whoever the fuck they cast in this turd, they ought to throw me a bone and get Ian McShane to play Cort, since Brian Glover is fucking dead. That would be tits.

If Opie actually pulls off a movie and I go see it in the theater, I predict that I will throw a blood clot, die of an aneurysm, something.

I am so prepared to hate this on principle, I'm almost wishing they do fucking make it.
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Re: The Dark Tower (Now with ???% more HBO!!!???)

Postby TheBaxter on Wed May 22, 2013 9:16 am

i can see the Biehn in that role.

i'm sticking with Michael Ironside for Cort though.
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Re: The Dark Tower (Now with ???% more HBO!!!???)

Postby travis-dane on Wed May 22, 2013 12:05 pm

I would like to see Fassbender as Fannin/ Flagg.
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Re: The Dark Tower (Now with ???% more HBO!!!???)

Postby Fievel on Wed May 22, 2013 12:10 pm

TheBaxter wrote:i'm sticking with Michael Ironside for Cort though.


Yes.

travis-dane wrote:I would like to see Fassbender as Fannin/ Flagg.


Please.
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Re: The Dark Tower (Now with ???% more HBO!!!???)

Postby caruso_stalker217 on Wed May 22, 2013 5:58 pm

TheBaxter wrote:i'm sticking with Michael Ironside for Cort though.


Oh I can see that. And just think how cheap they could get him!

Now that I think about it, Biehn might be too American for the role. But that gnarly W.C. Fields nose he's got now just might make up for it.

And, man, now that I'm looking through some current pictures, he is really looking like shit these days, which is PERFECT.

I mean, Jesus.

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Re: The Dark Tower (Now with ???% more HBO!!!???)

Postby Fievel on Wed Jan 22, 2014 2:03 am

Aaron Paul to Star in The Dark Tower Adaptation?

Talk about fanboy casting!!

One thing that made me both laugh and roll my eyes in the article was the following:

While Paul is only halfway through reading the series, he's aware of what a great character Dean is.

"I'm excited. Their goal is to do three films, but also have a television element to it, which will be very interesting. From what I hear, Eddie Dean is a pretty epic, iconic character."


Ummmm.... if you can't tell that by the end of Book 2.... I don't know what to say! Maybe he meant to say he was halfway through the first book?

Physically, he's nothing at all like I pictured Eddie to be. But his voice could be perfect - an odd trait to praise, but there it is.

EDIT:
Main site has their own article

And Paul admits to not having read the series there.... (WTF IGN?)

Quint: For what it's worth when I watched the first season of Breaking Bad I immediately thought you'd be perfect as Eddie Dean in a Dark Tower movie. I don't know if you've read those books...

Aaron Paul: I have not read them all. He shows up midway through the second book, right?
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Re: The Dark Tower (Now with ???% more HBO!!!???)

Postby caruso_stalker217 on Wed Jan 22, 2014 1:00 pm

Another day goes by with the threat of the Dark Tower adaptation on the horizon.
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Re: The Dark Tower (Now with ???% more HBO!!!???)

Postby so sorry on Wed Jan 22, 2014 1:12 pm

Somebody is going to be able to write a book about Hollywood's decades long attempt at adapting this book. Then someone will try and adapt THAT book in a brilliant meta-documentary.
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Re: The Dark Tower (Now with ???% more HBO!!!???)

Postby Fievel on Wed Jan 22, 2014 2:04 pm

so sorry wrote:Somebody is going to be able to write a book about Hollywood's decades long attempt at adapting this book. Then someone will try and adapt THAT book in a brilliant meta-documentary.


With someone playing the dude that's playing the part of Stephen King.
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Re: The Dark Tower (Now with ???% more HBO!!!???)

Postby caruso_stalker217 on Wed Jan 22, 2014 4:26 pm

I must say I grow weary of these monkeyshines.

http://www.aintitcool.com/node/65859
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Re: The Dark Tower (Now with ???% more HBO!!!???)

Postby caruso_stalker217 on Wed Jan 22, 2014 4:27 pm

Although I will say that they should just do a straight series on Netflix. None of this movie bullshit. That will never happen.

Also, this should never happen.
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Re: The Dark Tower (Now with ???% more HBO!!!???)

Postby Ribbons on Wed Jan 22, 2014 8:04 pm

caruso_stalker217 wrote:I must say I grow weary of these monkeyshines.

http://www.aintitcool.com/node/65859


I don't even know anything about The Dark Tower and I'm sick of it already
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Re: The Dark Tower (Now with ???% more HBO!!!???)

Postby so sorry on Thu Jan 23, 2014 11:10 am

Ribbons wrote:
caruso_stalker217 wrote:I must say I grow weary of these monkeyshines.

http://www.aintitcool.com/node/65859


I don't even know anything about The Dark Tower and I'm sick of it already


+1
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Re: The Dark Tower (Now with ???% more HBO!!!???)

Postby TheBaxter on Thu Jan 23, 2014 12:04 pm

so sorry wrote:Somebody is going to be able to write a book about Hollywood's decades long attempt at adapting this book. Then someone will try and adapt THAT book in a brilliant meta-documentary.


directed by terry gilliam, of course.
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Re: The Dark Tower (Now with ???% more HBO!!!???)

Postby SooperPooperScooper on Fri Jan 24, 2014 10:11 pm

piss off
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Re: The Dark Tower (Now with ???% more HBO!!!???)

Postby justcheckin on Sat Jan 25, 2014 8:48 pm

I think it'd be cool for it to be on Netflix...
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Re: The Dark Tower (Now with ???% more HBO!!!???)

Postby Fievel on Sun Jan 26, 2014 12:17 am

justcheckin wrote:I think it'd be cool for it to be on Netflix...


I don't.

I don't have Netflix! :D
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Re: The Dark Tower (Now with ???% more HBO!!!???)

Postby caruso_stalker217 on Thu Jun 26, 2014 12:07 pm

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Re: The Dark Tower (Now with ???% more HBO!!!???)

Postby so sorry on Thu Jun 26, 2014 12:19 pm

caruso_stalker217 wrote:http://www.aintitcool.com/node/67791

Fuck you.



I don't care one way or the other about this property but man does that look like some Grade A ass. That's intro to 3D modelling level shit. Yes its only concepts, and like the article says there's no frame of reference for what they are for. but sitll, that's some embarrassing shit to get out on the intertubes.
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Re: The Dark Tower (Now with ???% more HBO!!!???)

Postby caruso_stalker217 on Fri Jun 27, 2014 12:34 am

Those STAR TREK: THE NEXT GENERATION yurts are about as far from THE DARK TOWER as you can get.

And Susannah with legs? Fuck right off.
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Re: The Dark Tower (Now with ???% more HBO!!!???)

Postby caruso_stalker217 on Sat Apr 11, 2015 7:36 am

This shit is going to kill me. It's going to fucking kill me.

http://deadline.com/2015/04/dark-tower- ... 201407880/
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Re: The Dark Tower (Now with ???% more HBO!!!???)

Postby Cpt Kirks 2pay on Sat Apr 11, 2015 9:02 am

And get the casting suggestions right please. At the end of The Gunslinger with his 10 year aging, Roland is about 50 years old. With a face that I picture to look even older due to all the shit that he's been through.
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Re: The Dark Tower (Now with ???% more HBO!!!???)

Postby caruso_stalker217 on Sat Apr 11, 2015 6:46 pm

Someone on the main page suggested Norman Reedus for Eddie. Norman Reedus is a 57 year old man. We need to be realistic here, folks.
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Re: The Dark Tower (Now with ???% more HBO!!!???)

Postby TheBaxter on Sun Apr 12, 2015 12:26 am

norman reedus would be the trendy choice for Roland, kinda like how Russell Crowe was the trendy choice for Roland 3-5 years ago, and vigo mortensen 3-5 years before that.
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Re: The Dark Tower (Now with ???% more HBO!!!???)

Postby caruso_stalker217 on Sun Apr 12, 2015 11:56 am

Also, Christian Bale.
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Re: The Dark Tower (Now with ???% more HBO!!!???)

Postby TheBaxter on Sun Apr 12, 2015 3:22 pm

well, they better hurry because in a few years the new trendy choice will probably be jai courtney, and nobody wants to see that.
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Re: The Dark Tower (Now with ???% more HBO!!!???)

Postby Fievel on Mon Apr 13, 2015 2:13 am

TheBaxter wrote:well, they better hurry because in a few years the new trendy choice will probably be jai courtney, and nobody wants to see that.


FUUUUCCCCCKKKKK!!!!
I was starting to get excited by this news again. Now just the mere joke of JC in this makes me ill.
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Re: The Dark Tower (Now with ???% more HBO!!!???)

Postby minstrel on Mon Apr 13, 2015 4:54 am

I haven't read these books, and I don't know who Roland is, but I bet Kirk Cameron is available and probably pretty cheap.
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Re: The Dark Tower (Now with ???% more HBO!!!???)

Postby Fievel on Mon Apr 13, 2015 10:56 am

Damn you, minstrel.
Damn you straight to hell for that.
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Re: The Dark Tower (Now with ???% more HBO!!!???)

Postby TheBaxter on Mon Apr 13, 2015 11:04 am

Kirk Cameron would be a good choice to play Oy.
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Re: The Dark Tower (Now with ???% more HBO!!!???)

Postby caruso_stalker217 on Mon Apr 13, 2015 11:23 am

Is this project dead yet?
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Re: The Dark Tower (Now with ???% more HBO!!!???)

Postby minstrel on Tue Apr 14, 2015 3:39 am

Fievel wrote:Damn you, minstrel.
Damn you straight to hell for that.


My work here is done! :D
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Re: The Dark Tower (Now with ???% more HBO!!!???)

Postby TheBaxter on Tue Apr 14, 2015 11:03 am

if they were to cast Kirk Cameron as Roland, does that mean Jake would be played by a banana?
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Re: The Dark Tower (Now with ???% more HBO!!!???)

Postby Fievel on Tue Apr 14, 2015 3:03 pm

TheBaxter wrote:if they were to cast Kirk Cameron as Roland, does that mean Jake would be played by a banana?


No, Roland's guns would be bananas - because they were designed by god to fit perfectly in his hands.
This is The Dark Tower, not The Jerry Sandusky Story.
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Re: The Dark Tower (Now with ???% more HBO!!!???)

Postby caruso_stalker217 on Thu Aug 06, 2015 1:06 am

I find this most upsetting.

http://www.aintitcool.com/node/72599
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Re: The Dark Tower (Now with ???% more HBO!!!???)

Postby Fievel on Tue Nov 17, 2015 2:48 pm

Matthew McConaughey as Roland Deschain in DARK TOWER?!

First of all, I can't stand any article written by Vinyard.

Second....... yes, please. He is someone I have never considered when fantasy-casting this series. After seeing how sickly gaunt he became for Dallas Buyer's Club, he'd make the transition into Roland's final years perfectly! Plus he has that slow-speaking drawl of his that would translate great to Roland in my mind.

He has supposedly also been offered the role of Walter, The Man in Black. He'd totally kill that role, too!!

Now..... what if he played both parts?
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Re: The Dark Tower (Now with ???% more HBO!!!???)

Postby TheBaxter on Tue Nov 17, 2015 5:00 pm

"Ka is a wheel... like the chrome-plated rims of the new Lincoln MKZ."

cast Woody Harrelson as the Man in Black and then we're onto something.
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Re: The Dark Tower (Now with ???% more HBO!!!???)

Postby caruso_stalker217 on Wed Nov 18, 2015 1:30 am

I'd much rather see him play Walter. Hes a bit too....Texan...for Roland.
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