Favorite Movie Quotes

[St. Alphonzo]

"Yeah, I'm just going home, grab a shower and shave, give the wife a little pickle-tickle, and I'm on my way."

- A League Of Their Own (so sue me, I love that movie)

[wonkabar]

"You have been recruited by the star league to defend the frontier against Xur
and the Kodan armada!”

[John-Locke]

Gordon is Alive?

Those aren't Pillows!

Your Mother sucks cock in hell.

Strike me down & I'll become more powerful than you could ever imagine.

It's the one that says badass motherfucker

Gentlemen there is to be no fighting in the war room.

And in the sixth grade I pushed my sister down the stairs & I blamed it on the dog.

Look at your reflection in the mirror. You're a creature of the night Michael, just like out of a comic book! You're a vampire Michael! My own brother, a goddamn, shit-sucking vampire, just you wait till mom finds out.

Good one Derek.

[St. Alphonzo]

Dave Moss: What's your name?
Blake: Fuck you. That's my name.
[Moss laughs]
Blake: You know why, mister? 'Cause you drove a Hyundai to get here tonight, I drove an eighty thousand dollar BMW. *That's* my name.

-Glengarry GlenRoss

[wonkabar]

De Jabba no bada

[wonkabar]

Blake: We're adding a little something to this month's sales contest. As you all know, first prize is a Cadillac Eldorado. Anybody want to see second prize?
[Holds up prize]
Blake: Second prize is a set of steak knives. Third prize is you're fired.
Blake: Your name is "you're wanting", and you can't play the man's game, you can't close them, and then tell your wife your troubles. 'Cause only one thing counts in this world: get them to sign on the line which is dotted. You hear me you fuckin' phagits?

[St. Alphonzo]

With an avatar like mine, I gotta throw these in:

Rufus T. Firefly: Remember, you're fighting for this woman's honour, which is probably more than she ever did.

Rufus T. Firefly: Married. I can see you right now in the kitchen, bending over a hot stove. But I can't see the stove.

Rufus T. Firefly: Maybe you can suggest something. As a matter of fact, you do suggest something. To me you suggest a baboon.

- all from "Duck Soup"

[wonkabar]

Yub-nub
http://www.geocities.com/wermosguidetohuttese/

[wonkabar]

Navin: The new phone book's here! The new phone book's here!
Harry: Well I wish I could get so excited about nothing.
Navin: Nothing? Are you kidding?! Page 73, Johnson, Navin, R.! I'm somebody now! Millions of people look at this book every day! This is the kind of spontaneous publicity, you're name in print, that makes people. I'm in print! Things are going to start happening to me now.

[At Madman's house]
Madman: (he picks a name at random from the new phone book) Johnson, Navin, R. Sounds like a typical bastard.

[Back at the gas station]
Madman: Die Navin R. Johnson. Bastard, random son of a bitch, typical run of the mill bastard!

[Man-in-the-Box]

He hates these cans

[Man-in-the-Box]

"You got to shave before you leave the house in a dress like that... and I don't mean your legs!!"

Anyone know it?

[wonkabar]

Don't you ever change your underwear?

Sorry.

Don't be sorry just change your underwear.

[Man-in-the-Box]

Goddamned florsheim shoes
Chinatown

[Man-in-the-Box]

Lord loves a workin' man; don't trust whitey; see a doctor and get rid of it.

[Man-in-the-Box]

Spalding: This is good stuff. I got it from a Negro. You're probably high already and you don't even know it.
Caddyshack

[wonkabar]

Iceman: You can be my wingman any time.
Maverick: Bullshit! You can be mine.

[Pacino86845]

This one's for John-Locke:
"As a matter of fact I'm over there right now."
I just watched this again last night, and my desire for Patricia Arquette has been rekindled.

[wonkabar]

THERE IS NO TOMORROW!

THERE IS NO TOMORROW!




THERE IS NO TOMORROW!

[wonkabar]

"Ding... ding"

[ThisIsTheGirl]

Unforgiven:

Little Bill: You'd be Will Munny out of Missouri; murderer and killer of innocent women and children.
Bill Munny: I'm Will Munny and I've killed most everything that walks or crawls; and now I'm here to kill you Little Bill for what you done to Ned.
Little Bill: [walking toward Will] All right boys, he's only got one barrel left. When he fires, shoot this son of a bitch down.
[Munny's gun misfires]
Little Bill: Misfire. Kill the son of a bitch.

English Bob: A plague on you. A plague on the whole stinking lot of ya, without morals or laws. And all you whores got no laws. You got no honor. It's no wonder you all emigrated to America, because they wouldn't have you in England. You're a lot of savages, that's what you all are. A bunch of bloody savages. A plague on you. I'll be back.

Bill Munny: All right now, I'm comin' out. Any man I see out there, I'm gonna shoot him. Any sumbitch takes a shot at me, I'm not only gonna kill him, but I'm gonna kill his wife. All his friends. Burn his damn house down.

White Men can't Jump:

I'm going to my car, gonna get my gun – shoot everybody's ass!

Kung-Fu Hustle:

In the world of kung-fu, speed defines the winner

I only want to kill you, or be killed by you
(The Beast)

Back to the Future:

Biff: Say hi to your mom for me

Doc: When this baby hits 88 miles per hour, you're gonna see some serious shit.

Sexy Beast:

Don Logan: I come over here….for professional reasons, nothing else. I've gotta put a team together, gotta hand-pick a team. And I had you in mind for that team. But quite frankly, your attitude appals me – it's not what you're saying, it's all the stuff you're not saying. Inssinuendos. You really are demonstrating some whopping great ego there, I'd keep that in check if I were you, cos considering what I know about you and the outrageousness of what's going on inside your head, whatever seedy thoughts you're having – which I don't wanna know! Cos they're so disgusting. [kicks the cupboard] Fuckin' hell, fuckin' hell!! I would like to leave now, this minute. Get me a taxi.

[ThisIsTheGirl]

I gots more:

A selection of Twin Peaks goodness:

Pete Martell: [Pouring coffee] Mr. Cooper, how do you take it?
Dale Cooper: Black as midnight on a moonless night.
Pete Martell: Pretty black.

Dale Cooper: [speaking into tape recorder] Diane, I'm holding in my hands a small box of chocolate bunnies.

Jerry Horne: Sweetheart, I'd like to order two drinks. One double scotch on the rocks, and my brother would like a double scotch on the rocks.
Female bartender at One Eyed Jack's: That's two double scotch on the rocks.
Jerry Horne: Next step: rocket science!

Albert Rosenfield: I do not suffer fools gladly, and fools with badges never. I want no interference from this hulking boob. Is that clear?

Albert Rosenfield: Mr. Horne, I realize that your position in this fair community pretty well guarantees venality, insincerity, and a rather irritating method of expressing yourself. Stupidity, however, is not necessarily a inherent trait, therefore, please listen closely. You can have a funeral any old time. You dig a hole, you plant a coffin. I, however, cannot perform these tests next year, next month, next week or tomorrow - I must perform them now. I've got a lot of cutting and pasting to do, gentlemen, so why don't you please return to your porch rockers and resume whittling.

(My favourite Albert quotation is the one in my sig)

Mulholland Drive:

Cynthia: Do you know somebody called "the Cowboy"?
Adam Kesher: The Cowboy?
Cynthia: Yeah, the Cowboy. This guy, the Cowboy, wants to see you. Jason said he thought it'd be a good idea.
Adam Kesher: Oh, Jason thought it'd be a good idea for me to see the Cowboy. Well, should I wear my ten-gallon hat and my six-shooters?

Cowboy: Now, you will see me one more time if you do good. You'll see me two more times if you do bad. Goodnight

Coco Lenoix: You know, there was a man that lived here once that had a prize-fighting kangaroo. Well, you just wouldn't believe what that kangaroo did to this courtyard!

Herb: Okay, so you had a dream about this place. Tell me.
Dan: Well, it's the second one I've had, but they're both the same. They start out that I'm in here, but it's not day or night. It's kind of half-night, you know? But it looks just like this, except for the light. And I'm scared like I can't tell you. Of all people, you're standing right over there, by that counter. You're in both dreams and you're scared. I get even more frightened when I see how afraid you are and then I realize what it is. There's a man, in back of this place. He's the one who's doing it. I can see him through the wall. I can see his face. I hope that I will never see that face ever outside of a dream. That's it.

Luigi Castigliane: This is the girl!
Adam Kesher: Hey, that girl is not in my film!
Vincenzo Castiliane: It's no longer your film.

Funnily enough, I always felt that the scene above was Lynch's comment on what it's like to work with Dino - how excellent that I've been able to strike up an acquaintance with the man himself here in the zone!

Betty Elms: It's strange to be phoning yourself.
Rita: Maybe it's not me.

[Pacino86845]

I'm going to take advantage of the apparent fact that no one has yet quoted from one of my favorite films:
---------------------
William Blake: If the doors of perception were cleansed, everything would appear to man as it is: infinite.
--------------------------------------
Big George: I don't give a shit who saw what, and who did what, or who did who.
---------------------------------
Nobody: That weapon will replace your tongue. You will learn to speak through it. And your poetry will now be written with blood.
-----------------------------
Big George: What's a philistine?
Sally: Well, it's just a real dirty person.
--------------------
Big George: By God, I'm hit. Lord have mercy. Burns like hellfire. You son of a bitch. I'm gonna have to kill somebody now.
------------------------
Big George: That's terrible.
Sally: It's horrible.
Big George: Terrible is what it is.
------------------------
Big George: Well Sally, I don't give a pig's ass what anybody says, I still say you make a hell of a pot of beans.
------------------------
Nobody: Stupid fucking white man.
------------------------
Nobody: What name were you given at birth, stupid white man?
--------------------
Nobody: The evil stench of white man precedes him.
----------------
Marvin (Older Marshall): You William Blake?
William Blake: Yes, I am. Do you know my poetry? [Blake fires at the Marshall with the revolver]

----------
Nobody: You were a poet and a painter, William Blake. But now, you're a killer of white men.

--------
Conway Twill: [talking about Cole] Fucked his parents.
Johnny 'The Kid' Pickett: He what ?
Conway Twill: He fucked his parents.
Johnny 'The Kid' Pickett: Both of 'em ?
Conway Twill: Yeah.
Conway Twill: Mother. Father. Parents. Both of 'em. Fucked 'em.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Train Fireman: Look out the window. And doesn't this remind you of when you were in the boat, and then later than night, you were lying, looking up at the ceiling, and the water in your head was not dissimilar from the landscape, and you think to yourself, "Why is it that the landscape is moving, but the boat is still?"

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
William Blake: Do you still have my eyeglasses?
Nobody: No, I traded them. Do you have any tobacco?
William Blake: No, I traded it.
Nobody: For what?
William Blake: I'm not telling.
Nobody: Liar.
William Blake: Thief.

[ThisIsTheGirl]

Donnie Darko had a couple of pearls:

Sean Smith: [at the bus stop] Good shit, eh?
Donnie: Dude, it's a fucking cig<i></i>arette.

Donnie: You're right, actually. I am pretty- I'm, I'm pretty troubled and I'm, I'm pretty confused. But I. . .and I'm afraid. Really, really afraid. Really afraid. But I... I... I think you're the fucking Antichrist.

Dune:

Put the pick in there, Pete – and turn it round, real neat.

My other Dune favourites have already been written here

Carlito's Way:

-Hey man, there's no beers in here
-Sure, way down in the bottom

The Empire Strikes Back:

You are beaten. It is useless to resist. Don't let yourself be destroyed, as Obi-Wan did.

Attack of the Clones:

Anakin: I am a slow learner.

I dunno – I just love the idea of Vader as a slow learner – that's why it takes him so long ot do the right thing!

[WinslowLeach]

"You got to shave before you leave the house in a dress like that... and I don't mean your legs!!"

Anyone know it?

Of course! Ford Fairlane! 8)

"I'm gonna make kaoala burgers with koala chips and koala dip, thats, thats what I think"

[John-Locke]

"It's all in the Reflexes" Jack Burton, Big Trouble in Little China

"When there is no more room in Hell, the dead will walk the earth" Ken Foree, Dawn of the motherfucking dead.

"And the flowers are still standing" Ghostbusters

"Do you like dags?" Pikey Brad Pitt, Snatch.

"Yeah well, this one, this one right here, this was my dream, my dream. And I'm taking it back, I'm taking them all back" Mouth, Goonies.

[WinslowLeach]

"HEY LARDASS! HOW WAS YER TRIP?!" - Stand By Me

"Death By Stereo" - The Lost Boys

"When you pick a lock, dont leave any scratch marks" - The Getaway

"Grammy Hall gave this to me"

"Youre Grammy?"

"Yes, thats what we call her"

"My grammy never gave me anything, she was too busy getting raped by cossacks"

"So we are going to eat lunch and he says to me: JEW eat? JEW? Not Did You Eat? but JEW eat? JEW?" - Annie Hall

[ThisIsTheGirl]

Falling Down:

Captain Yardley: I never liked you. You know why? You don't curse. I don't trust a man who doesn't curse. Not a "fuck" or a "shit" in all these years. Real men curse.

[WinslowLeach]

"Greed Is Good" - Wall Street

"Go Ahead, Make My Day" - Sudden Impact

"Give that man a ciiigaaar!" - First Blood

Judge: "The two what?"

Vinny: "What?"

Judge: "Did you just say the two yutes?"

Vinny: "Yeah"

Judge "Whats a yute?" - My Cousin Vinny

"BOYS! AVENGE MEEEEE!! AVENNNNNGE MEEEE!" - Red Dawn

[Keepcoolbutcare]

"Dead? No excuse for laying off work."

"Oh Benson, dear Benson, you are so mercifully free of the ravages of intelligence."

"God isn't interested in technology. He cares nothing for the microchip or the silicon revolution. Look how he spends his time, forty-three species of parrots! Nipples for men!"
"Slugs! HE created slugs! They can't hear. They can't speak. They can't operate machinery. Are we not in the hands of a lunatic?"

Time Bandits

[Keepcoolbutcare]

"Sometimes it's a hard world for small things."

"...and when there was no meat, we ate fowl and when there was no fowl, we ate crawdad and when there was no crawdad to be found, we ate sand."
"You ate what?"
"We ate sand."
{beat}
"You ate SAND?"
"That's right!"


"Son, you got a panty on your head."

Raising Arizona

[Keepcoolbutcare]

for so sorry...
"You sound like an asshole! Jesus, nobody twisted your arm to be here. You're here of your own volition. You like to think the weight of the world rests on your shoulder. Like this place would fall apart if Dante wasn't here. Jesus, you overcompensate for having what's basically a monkey's job. You push fucking buttons. Anybody can just waltz in here and do our jobs. You-You're so obsessed with making it seem so much more epic, so much more important than it really is. Christ, you work in a convenience store, Dante! And badly, I might add! I work in a shitty video store, badly as well. You know, that guy Jay's got it right, man. He has no delusions about what he does. Us, we like to make ourselves seem so much more important than the people that come in here to buy a paper, or, god forbid, cigarettes. We look down on them as if we're so advanced. Well, if we're so fucking advanced, what are we doing working here?"

"Which did you like better? "Jedi" or "The Empire Strikes Back"?"
"Empire".
"Blasphemy!"
""Empire" had the better ending. I mean, Luke gets his hand cut off, finds out Vader's his father, Han gets frozen and taken away by Boba Fett. It ends on such a down note. I mean, that's what life is, a series of down endings. All "Jedi" had was a bunch of Muppets."

"Hey, try not to suck any dick on the way through the parking lot!"

"This job would be great if it wasn't for the fucking customers."

Clerks

[Man-in-the-Box]

H.I. You're young and you got your health, now WHAT DO YOU WANT WITH A JOB.
Words to live by from Raising Arizona.

[bluebottle]

what's the song Steve Martin sings in the Jerk, when he's in the bathtub... about the thermos?

"i'm picking out a thermos... for you"

[St. Alphonzo]

Field Reporter: Are they slow-moving, chief?
Sheriff McClelland: Yeah, they're dead. They're all messed up.

-NOLD

[St. Alphonzo]

what's the song Steve Martin sings in the Jerk, when he's in the bathtub... about the thermos?

"i'm picking out a thermos... for you"

"I'm picking out a Thermos for you. Not an ordinary Thermos for you. But the extra best Thermos that you can buy, with vinyl and stripes and a cup built right in."

[WinslowLeach]

"Do these balloons blow up into funny shapes?"

"Well no...unless round is funny" - Raising Arizona

[Keepcoolbutcare]

"Exterminate all rational thought. That is the conclusion I have come to."

"America is not a young land. It is old and dirty, evil. Before the settlers, before the Indians, the evil is there, waiting."

"Did I ever tell you about the guy who taught his asshole to speak?"

Naked Lunch

oh and Pacino, great call with Dead Man.

[bluebottle]

what's the song Steve Martin sings in the Jerk, when he's in the bathtub... about the thermos?

"i'm picking out a thermos... for you"

"I'm picking out a Thermos for you. Not an ordinary Thermos for you. But the extra best Thermos that you can buy, with vinyl and stripes and a cup built right in."

THANK YOU!

LOL!

[St. Alphonzo]

News Announcer: And today the president closed the nation's last remaining submarine base at Groton, Connecticut. When asked why he had made the startling decision the president responded, "Those funny little black ships just keep sinking anyway."

-Attack of the Killer Tomatoes

[Man-in-the-Box]

Hey Blue http://tinyurl.com/dpvpo

[St. Alphonzo]

Hey Blue http://tinyurl.com/dpvpo

I forgot about "a rear-end thermometor too"! IPAMPILASH!!

[Keepcoolbutcare]

"So, you're not gonna go to law school? What do you wanna do then?"
"I wanna dance!"


"Say, man, you got a joint?"
"No, not on me, man."
"It'd be a lot cooler if you did."

"Behind every good man there is a woman, and that woman was Martha Washington, man, and everyday George would come home, she would have a big studly bowl waiting for him, man, when he come in the door, man, she was a hip, hip, hip lady, man."

Dazed and Confused

[DennisMM]

for so sorry...

EDIT

"This job would be great if it wasn't for the fucking customers."

Clerks

Ten years in retail. I laughed my balls off.

[Keepcoolbutcare]

"This job would be great if it wasn't for the fucking customers."

Ten years in retail. I laughed my balls off.

I think I just hit my tenth anniv. as a serviceindustrywhore.

[Man-in-the-Box]

Mike Damone: First of all Rat, you never let on how much you like a girl. "Oh, Debbie. Hi." Two, you always call the shots. "Kiss me. You won't regret it." Now three, act like wherever you are, that's the place to be. "Isn't this great?" Four, when ordering food, you find out what she wants, then order for the both of you. It's a classy move. "Now, the lady will have the linguini and white clam sauce, and a Coke with no ice." And five, now this is the most important, Rat. When it comes down to making out, whenever possible, put on side one of Led Zeppelin IV.

Words to live by from "Fast Tiimes at Ridgemont High".

[Man-in-the-Box]

I really like the fact that it cut into Kasmir off of Physical Graffiti.

[Keepcoolbutcare]

"Can you stop watching TV for a minute?"
"No."
"Why?"
"Because. I had a bad day at work. I had to subvert my principles and kow-tow to an idiot. Television makes these daily sacrifices possible. Deadens the inner core of my being."
"Let's move away then."
"They have television everywhere, there's no escape."

Trust

"Once - I forget where I was. Central America, maybe. Somewhere hot. Stupid job, bad pay, dangerous location, and water so foul the natives wouldn't even piss in it - this crowd of drunken motherfuckers hired by the local drug cartel showed up at my hotel room and threatened to tear me limb from limb. And I say, "Listen hombres, OK, you got me outnumbered here four to one and you're gonna kill me here tonight and not a soul in this dimly lit world is gonna notice I'm gone. But one of you, one of you, one of you is gonna have his eye torn out. Period." Silence. "I repeat myself: One of you poor, underpaid jerks is gonna have an eye ripped out of its socket. I promise. It's a small thing perhaps, all things considered, but I will succeed, because it's the only thing I have left to do in this world. So why don't you just take a good look at one another one last time, and think it over a few minutes more."

Henry Fool

"I can't stand the quiet!"

"I've never been to Long Island."
Yes you have.
I have?
Yeah, you've been to Queens. Queens is Long Island.
Queens is part of New York City. I don't think it's really considered Long Island.
It's part of New York City, but it's on Long Island.
Queens is a borough.
A Borough on Long Island.
A borough of New York City.
Right.
Long Island's a terminal moraine.
What?
Terminal moraine. It's the earth deposited by a receding glacier.
Well shit! What the hell are we waiting for? Come on!


Look, the difference between Dad and me is that I fuck with the law, he fucked with the government.
The law and the government are the same thing.
No it isn't. The government doesn't have to obey the law.
Well maybe that's not the way things should be.
Who wants a fucking government that's go to obey the law?
A lot of people do
Yeah? Well that's why a lot of people aren't running this country.

and I can't find the brilliant discourse on Madonna, the music industry, and favorite bands that ends with someone saying..."Hot fucking Tuna."

Simple Men

Hal Hartley. Most people hate him, but I love a lot of his films (obviously).

[St. Alphonzo]

"Shut up. We didn't lose Vietnam. It was a tie."

-A Fish Called Wanda

[Keepcoolbutcare]

For Dennis, who very early on in this thread mentioned one of my fave quotes of all time...

"In Italy, for thirty years under the Borgias, they had warfare, terror, murder and bloodshed - they produced Michelangelo, Leonardo Da Vinci and the Renaissance. In Switzerland, they had brotherly love and five hundred years of democracy and peace, and what did they produce? The cuckoo clock."

[Keepcoolbutcare]

King Tito: [after Jump and Test-Tube have "paid" for a shipment of cocaine with a suitcase full of... tampons!] What the fuck is this!
Jump: [pulling a pair of semi-autos from his jacket] They're for the bullet holes, puta!

"From now on, nothing goes down unless I'm involved. No blackjack no dope deals, no nothing. A nickel bag gets sold in the park, I want in. You guys got studly while everybody starved on the street. Now it's my turn."

"There are some things I don't do." Then the dance.

King of New York

"We drink to escape the fact we're alcoholics. Existence is the search for relief from our habit, and our habit is the only relief we can find."

"You can't kill what's dead. Eternity's a long time. Get used to it."

"The old adage from Santayana, that those who don't learn from history are doomed to repeat it, is a lie. There is no history. Everything we are is eternally with us."

The Addiction