Best Song Titles

Sigur Ros is the greatest living band. Discuss.

Best Song Titles

Postby Seppuku on Tue Jan 01, 2008 4:38 pm

There's a band called Half Man Half Biscuit who pretty much have this market locked up. Quite a lot of the time, their song titles are better than the actual songs themselves. A few examples:

Joy Division Oven Gloves

Styx Gig (I've Just Seen my Mates Coming Out Of A)

It's Cliched to be Cynical at Christmas

We Built This Village on a Trad. Arr Tune

I Love You (Because You Look Like Jim Reeves)


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Also, there are quite a few country songs whose titles preclude the need to ever have to listen to the songs themselves, thank God:


Get Your Tongue Outta My Mouth 'Cause I'm Kissing
You Goodbye

Her Teeth Was Stained, But Her Heart Was Pure

How Can I Miss You If You Won't Go Away?

Don't Know Whether To Kill Myself Or Go Bowling

Just Bought A Car From A Guy That Stole My Girl,
But The Car Don't Run, So I Figure We Got An Even Deal

Still Miss You Baby, But My Aim's Gettin' Better

You're the Reason Our Kids Are So Ugly
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Postby Fawst on Tue Jan 01, 2008 4:45 pm

Girlfriend In A Coma - The Smiths
Tripping On A Hole In A Paper Heart - Stone Temple Pilots
Boot To The Head - Da Yoopers
Brushstroke: dcbtfoabbaapasba - dredg (short for Dream Caused by the Flight of a Bee around a Pomegranate a Second Before Awakening, a painting by Salvador Dali)
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Postby Zarles on Tue Jan 01, 2008 5:13 pm

Nirvana - I Hate Myself and Want To Die
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Postby Nachokoolaid on Tue Jan 01, 2008 6:13 pm

D'Yer Mak'er - Led Zeppelin

Without a doubt, the #1 most mispronounced song title in the history of music.
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Postby Bayouwolf on Tue Jan 01, 2008 6:14 pm

Frank Zappa "Titties and beer"
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Postby The Vicar on Tue Jan 01, 2008 6:17 pm

Broken Hearts Are for Assholes
Frank Zappa
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Postby Keepcoolbutcare on Tue Jan 01, 2008 6:36 pm

"Pussy Control" - Prince

"Crack Whore Blues" - The Neckbones

"It's the End of the World as we Know It (and I feel fine)" - R.E.M.

"How a Resurrection Really Feels" - The Hold Steady

"Kill Your Television" - Ned's Atomic Dustbin
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Postby LaDracul on Tue Jan 01, 2008 6:42 pm

You Can't Rollerskate in a Buffalo Herd-Roger Miller
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Postby yaz67 on Tue Jan 01, 2008 6:45 pm

Jesus Thinks You're A Jerk - Frank Zappa
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Postby stereosforgeeks on Tue Jan 01, 2008 6:49 pm

If we can land a man on the moon surely I can win your heart - Beulah
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Postby Zarles on Tue Jan 01, 2008 6:51 pm

Beck - .000.000
Beastie Boys - Hail Sagan
Dr. Octagon - A Visit To The Gynecologyst
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Postby Vegeta on Tue Jan 01, 2008 7:14 pm

Elliott Smith "A Distorted Realitiy is Now a Neccesity to be Free"
Thursday "Understanding in a Car Crash"
Coheed and Cambria "Once Upon Your Dead Body"
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Postby The Vicar on Tue Jan 01, 2008 7:19 pm

Crack Whore Blues?
I gots to check that out....
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Postby Retardo_Montalban on Tue Jan 01, 2008 7:30 pm

Fred Wolff Combo - Somebody Else Was Suckin' My Dick Last Night

The Toppers - (I Love To Play Your Piano) Let Me Bang Your Box
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Postby Ribbons on Tue Jan 01, 2008 8:48 pm

Retardo_Montalban wrote:Fred Wolff Combo - Somebody Else Was Suckin' My Dick Last Night


Maybe this just speaks to my inner juvenile sense of humor, but I rate that the best song title EVAR!


I've always been amused by Fall Out Boy's song titles, particularly:

-"Don't You Know Who I Think I Am?"

-"Carpal Tunnel of Love"

-"I Slept With Someone in Fall Out Boy and All I Got Was This Stupid Song Written About Me"
Last edited by Ribbons on Tue Jan 01, 2008 8:53 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Postby minstrel on Tue Jan 01, 2008 8:53 pm

Other country song titles:

Drop Kick Me, Jesus, Through the Goalposts of Life
If the Phone Doesn't Ring, It's Me
All My Exes Live in Texas
"Everybody is equally shitty and wrong." - Ribbons
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Postby The Garbage Man on Tue Jan 01, 2008 8:59 pm

Say Anything - "You're the Wanker, If Anyone Is"
Godspeed You! Black Emperor - "Motherfucker = Redeemer"
In Flames - "Your Bedtime Story Is Scaring Everyone"
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Postby St. Alphonzo on Tue Jan 01, 2008 9:09 pm

minstrel wrote:Other country song titles:

Drop Kick Me, Jesus, Through the Goalposts of Life
If the Phone Doesn't Ring, It's Me
All My Exes Live in Texas


More!

My Wife Ran Off With My Best Friend, And I Miss Him
It's Commode Huggin' Time In The Valley
I Don't Know Whether To Kill Myself Or Go Bowling
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Postby Ribbons on Tue Jan 01, 2008 9:15 pm

St. Alphonzo wrote:My Wife Ran Off With My Best Friend, And I Miss Him


Hehehe... NEW best song title evar!
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Postby St. Alphonzo on Tue Jan 01, 2008 9:16 pm

Dead Kennedys: "Too Drunk To Fuck"
Monster Bobby: "The Closest Experience To That Of Being With You Is The Experience Of Taking Drugs"
The Stooges: "I Wanna Be Your Dog"
Yo La Tengo: "Pass The Hatchet, I Think I'm Goodkind"
Captain Beefheart: "Making Love To A Vampire With A Monkey On My Knee"

I'll think of better ones later I'm sure...
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Postby minstrel on Tue Jan 01, 2008 9:21 pm

Pink Floyd:

Careful With That Axe, Eugene

Several Species of Small Furry Animals Gathered Together in a Cave and Grooving with a Pict
"Everybody is equally shitty and wrong." - Ribbons
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Postby tapehead on Tue Jan 01, 2008 10:34 pm

Set the controls for the Heart of the Pelvis - Barry Adamson with Jarvis Cocker (from the album 'Oedipus Schmoedipus')

Lessons learned from Rocky I to Rocky III - Cornershop

Young, Dumb and Full of Cum - Whale
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Postby Bayouwolf on Tue Jan 01, 2008 10:46 pm

Wow, has this thread digressed into EFBR fodder.

I hope I'm not completely to blame... 8)


I always thought OU812 was a cool album title. Even if it was by Van Hagar... :P
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Postby DennisMM on Tue Jan 01, 2008 11:02 pm

"An Acceptable Level of Ecstasy (The Wedding Song)" - Lyle Lovett

"I've Got Tears in My Ears (From Lyin' on Back in My Bed as I Cry Over You)" - Homer & Jethro

"You're Breakin' My Heart (You're Tearin' It Apart, So Fuck You)" - Harry Nilsson
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Postby Seppuku on Tue Jan 01, 2008 11:05 pm

My personal favourite:

John Cale - The Man Who Couldn't Afford to Orgy
Dale Tremont Presents...

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Postby St. Alphonzo on Tue Jan 01, 2008 11:10 pm

DennisMM wrote:"An Acceptable Level of Ecstasy (The Wedding Song)" - Lyle Lovett


The title is great, but the song itself is funnier!

But nobody knew
That the flowers were furnished by the funeral parlor
and the whole thing was paid for by the funeral director
who poisoned the saxophone section.


Good stuff.
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Postby DennisMM on Tue Jan 01, 2008 11:24 pm

What was Lyle smoking that afternoon? Half of it's racial-struggle commentary and the rest morbid surrealism.
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Postby Bayouwolf on Tue Jan 01, 2008 11:30 pm

DennisMM wrote:What was Lyle smoking that afternoon? Half of it's racial-struggle commentary and the rest morbid surrealism.


Julia's used panties...
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Postby St. Alphonzo on Tue Jan 01, 2008 11:38 pm

"Just Dropped In (To See What Condition My Condition Was In)" by Plastic Man and...er... Kenny Rogers and The First Edition
"If You Don't Start Drinking (I'm Gonna Leave)" - George Thorogood
"White Punks On Dope" - The Tubes
"Don't You Ever Wash That Thing?" - Zappa
"No Christmas While I'm Talking" - The Walkmen
"Let's Make Love And Listen To Death From Above" - CSS
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Postby DennisMM on Tue Jan 01, 2008 11:41 pm

"Does This Bus Stop At 82nd Street?" - Bruce Springsteen ('cos what the hell kinda title is that?)
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Postby KarmicRelief on Wed Jan 02, 2008 12:44 am

Bloodhound Gang - The Lapdance Is So Much Better When the Stripper is Crying
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Postby Dee E. Goppstober on Wed Jan 02, 2008 5:52 am

KarmicRelief wrote:Bloodhound Gang - The Lapdance Is So Much Better When the Stripper is Crying


The Bloodhound Gang don't always are the height of subtle humour, but this one I find very funny too.


St. Alphonzo wrote:"Just Dropped In (To See What Condition My Condition Was In)" by Plastic Man and...er... Kenny Rogers and The First Edition
"If You Don't Start Drinking (I'm Gonna Leave)" - George Thorogood
"White Punks On Dope" - The Tubes
"Don't You Ever Wash That Thing?" - Zappa
"No Christmas While I'm Talking" - The Walkmen
"Let's Make Love And Listen To Death From Above" - CSS



Great selection. Especially the first one - that's a song that can be on repeat all day long.

There must be more goodness from Zappa too, I'm sure. Maybe - "Don't Eat The Yellow Snow' or "Why Does It Hurt When I Pee?"

To further add to the list:

"I'll Never Get Out Of This World Alive" - Hank Williams
"Can your Pussy Do The Dog?" - The Cramps
"Crack Hitler" - Faith No More
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Postby Al Shut on Wed Jan 02, 2008 8:45 am

Wie ich den Marilyn-Manson-Änlichkeitswettbewerb verlor - Farin Urlaub

translates to: How I lost the Marilyn Manson lookalike-contest
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Postby Zarles on Wed Jan 02, 2008 8:50 am

Country songs have some of the dumbest titles/lyrics ever. I've heard two that have the words "Tequila makes her clothes fall off" and "Her favorite color is chrome" in them. No, really.
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Postby Fawst on Wed Jan 02, 2008 11:53 am

She Thinks My Tractor's Sexy is a good title.
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Postby Bayouwolf on Wed Jan 02, 2008 11:58 am

Two of a kind, workin' on a full house

Garth Brooks has some catchy titles too...
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Postby DerLanghaarige on Thu Jan 03, 2008 9:10 am

Al_Shut wrote:Wie ich den Marilyn-Manson-Änlichkeitswettbewerb verlor - Farin Urlaub


Wanted to post that one too, but my substitute is just:

There's Something Very Wrong With Us So Let's Go Out Tonight - Electric Six
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Re: Best Song Titles

Postby Ribbons on Sat Apr 23, 2016 11:24 am

This probably wouldn't qualify as one of the best titles EVAR, but I'm amused by the name of Phantogram's song, Running from the Cops:

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Re: Best Song Titles

Postby TheBaxter on Sun Apr 24, 2016 11:30 pm

i wouldn't run from that cop.
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Re: Best Song Titles

Postby Ribbons on Fri Jan 13, 2017 12:38 pm

This is actually an album title, but Bury Me At Makeout Creek by Mitski

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Re: Best Song Titles

Postby Peven on Fri Jan 13, 2017 1:22 pm

Careful With That Ax, Eugene
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