Retro Computer Game Box Art Appreciation Almanac

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Retro Computer Game Box Art Appreciation Almanac

Postby DerLanghaarige on Wed Aug 05, 2009 10:59 am

The ugliest game covers of all time
You have to click on the arrows under the Alex Kidd pic, to see the others. Apparently it's difficult to catch for some people. Even if they speak German.
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Re: Your links... (NOT VIDEO)

Postby magicmonkey on Wed Aug 05, 2009 11:27 am

DerLanghaarige wrote:The ugliest game covers of all time
You have to click on the arrows under the Alex Kidd pic, to see the others. Apparently it's difficult to catch for some people. Even if they speak German.


Retro nostalgia! :D I recognised too many!
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Re: Your links... (NOT VIDEO)

Postby DerLanghaarige on Wed Aug 05, 2009 1:20 pm

I recognized most of the names, but not always the covers.
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Re: Your links... (NOT VIDEO)

Postby TheBaxter on Wed Aug 05, 2009 1:33 pm

i really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really want to play ninja golf.
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Re: Your links... (NOT VIDEO)

Postby papalazeru on Wed Aug 05, 2009 2:01 pm

DerLanghaarige wrote:The ugliest game covers of all time
You have to click on the arrows under the Alex Kidd pic, to see the others. Apparently it's difficult to catch for some people. Even if they speak German.


That list was very console oriented and I don't think they considered it well enough.
I think a lot of these games have been treated unfairly. I know so many games that didn't live up to the cover and some that were let down by the ugliness of the cover itself.

As for #23, that's not ugly. There was a time when the graphics alone sold the game, and those were cutting fucking edge.

I'll take another example,

ImageImage

Look at that, what the fuck is that Horace thing? It's just a melted lump with eyes, and in some sequels, Skii's, but the graphics were off the charts.

If you really want to see where game covers turn ugly, it's in the sports sections. This is where grown ups THOUGHT, this is what kids wanted.

Sports covers generally sucked.

Image
Who really wants to play this? Come on, WHO!!! Does this look fun to you? or how about

Image

BORING!

Image

Wow! BMX NINJA'S! That kicks ass, but where is the ninja? All I see it a purple alien riding a bike with a really ugly kid in the background.



Football fared equally as bad,



Image
...and this doesn't look like they're going to suck each other off at half time?

Image
SOLD! Where do I sign up to be a manager. What the fuck!

If you're going to sell a cover right, you need to do it right, with

FUCKING ACTION!!!!
ImageImageImage
(Wait, is that Segal!!!! It's the Master Eater!!!!)
or

FAMOUS SHIT!!!

Image

COMMERCIAL BRANDING!!!!

Image

OR JUST LOOKING FUCKING COOL

Image

If all else fails, go to the only option left for boys around the ages of 6-16

Nubs
Image

A lot of people realised this in the early days of video gaming. Sports however, stayed in the ugly covers tree, fell out and broke it's face all the way down.

(By the way, I've played every single game here, and about a third of whats on the link)
Papa: The musical!

Padders: "Not very classy! Not very classy at all!"
So Sorry "I'll give you a word to describe it: classless."
Cptn Kirks 2pay: ".....utterly unclassy....."
DennisMM: "...Decidedly unclassy..."
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Re: Your links... (NOT VIDEO)

Postby Hermanator X on Wed Aug 05, 2009 2:50 pm

WTF?
Image
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Re: Your links... (NOT VIDEO)

Postby magicmonkey on Wed Aug 05, 2009 10:07 pm

Hermanator X wrote:WTF?
Image


HAHAHAHHAHAA! Floaters...

Anybody want me to split this into a Retro Computer Game Box Art thread?
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Re: Your links... (NOT VIDEO)

Postby Wolfpack on Wed Aug 05, 2009 11:00 pm

Floaters! Excellent!
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Re: Your links... (NOT VIDEO)

Postby DerLanghaarige on Thu Aug 06, 2009 3:27 am

magicmonkey wrote:Anybody want me to split this into a Retro Computer Game Box Art thread?

Why not. Sounds like fun. :D
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Re: Retro Computer Game Box Art Appreciation Almanac

Postby travis-dane on Thu Aug 06, 2009 4:59 am

Jesus Papa, I played the shit out of RENEGADE...that was the coolest Beat Em up ever!
Picking up the Baseball bat and beating the shit out of them was fucking awesome.
And International Karate plus was A too...it was the one where the pants of your Fighter drop down if you do nothing. classic.

I played almost every game you listed up there...good times.
Where are all the Ocean's and Micro Prose's gone? and Firebird...
I need to start my C-64 emulator.
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Re: Retro Computer Game Box Art Appreciation Almanac

Postby DerLanghaarige on Thu Aug 06, 2009 5:07 am

What about this?

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Re: Retro Computer Game Box Art Appreciation Almanac

Postby papalazeru on Thu Aug 06, 2009 5:36 am

Most awesome thread EVA!!!

Good to see it split into it's own.
Papa: The musical!

Padders: "Not very classy! Not very classy at all!"
So Sorry "I'll give you a word to describe it: classless."
Cptn Kirks 2pay: ".....utterly unclassy....."
DennisMM: "...Decidedly unclassy..."
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Re: Your links... (NOT VIDEO)

Postby Al Shut on Thu Aug 06, 2009 5:53 am

papalazeru wrote:
Image



Dr. Cox?
Note to myself: Fix this image shit!
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Re: Retro Computer Game Box Art Appreciation Almanac

Postby King Of Nowhere on Thu Aug 06, 2009 7:19 am

travis-dane wrote:Jesus Papa, I played the shit out of RENEGADE...that was the coolest Beat Em up ever!
Picking up the Baseball bat and beating the shit out of them was fucking awesome.
And International Karate plus was A too...it was the one where the pants of your Fighter drop down if you do nothing. classic.

I played almost every game you listed up there...good times.
Where are all the Ocean's and Micro Prose's gone? and Firebird...
I need to start my C-64 emulator.


Ocean & Microprose are part of what is now known as Atari.
Firebird was a part of Microprose by that time as well.
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Re: Retro Computer Game Box Art Appreciation Almanac

Postby papalazeru on Thu Aug 06, 2009 7:37 am

travis-dane wrote:And International Karate plus was A too...it was the one where the pants of your Fighter drop down if you do nothing. classic.
.

And Bruce fucking Lee did the voice overs....sorta, well they stole it all from Enter the Dragon and Game of Death ;)
Papa: The musical!

Padders: "Not very classy! Not very classy at all!"
So Sorry "I'll give you a word to describe it: classless."
Cptn Kirks 2pay: ".....utterly unclassy....."
DennisMM: "...Decidedly unclassy..."
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Re: Retro Computer Game Box Art Appreciation Almanac

Postby Hermanator X on Thu Aug 06, 2009 7:41 am

papalazeru wrote:
travis-dane wrote:And International Karate plus was A too...it was the one where the pants of your Fighter drop down if you do nothing. classic.
.

And Bruce fucking Lee did the voice overs....sorta, well they stole it all from Enter the Dragon and Game of Death ;)


Not to mention if you typed in "wank" while playing the legend

SWEATY HANDS SLIP OFF JOYSTICK

Would flash up on screen. So childish, yet so much fun. Type in fuck twice and the game would reset because of your bad language. Mental.
...and so forth.
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Re: Retro Computer Game Box Art Appreciation Almanac

Postby papalazeru on Thu Aug 06, 2009 7:54 am

Oh yeah, I remember all of that.

I think if you typed in FISH, a fish would jump up in the background. There were tons of things like that.

I loved that game, the old Kempston Joystick could handle a lot of action in that game. I loved doing the split kick and knocking out two people at once :D
Papa: The musical!

Padders: "Not very classy! Not very classy at all!"
So Sorry "I'll give you a word to describe it: classless."
Cptn Kirks 2pay: ".....utterly unclassy....."
DennisMM: "...Decidedly unclassy..."
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Re: Retro Computer Game Box Art Appreciation Almanac

Postby Hermanator X on Thu Aug 06, 2009 8:00 am

Yeah, there was loads of silly codes for it. Great fun.
And it was a hell of a lot of fun to play. Fast and furious action. Probably my most played amiga game, second only to wings of fury*. Strafing the little dudes running from their bombed bunkers was awesome fun. Good times.

*that makes no sense at all. I meant its a close call between which one I played the most... doh!
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Re: Retro Computer Game Box Art Appreciation Almanac

Postby DerLanghaarige on Thu Aug 06, 2009 9:22 am

I still don't know what the fuck that game was about or what it even looked like, but the Cover creeped me out as a kid.

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Re: Retro Computer Game Box Art Appreciation Almanac

Postby Fried Gold on Thu Aug 06, 2009 12:20 pm

These Master System box covers always seemed odd to me:

Image Image

I mean who wants to see a photo of someone holding the game card?
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Re: Retro Computer Game Box Art Appreciation Almanac

Postby BuckyO'harre on Thu Aug 06, 2009 12:27 pm

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Re: Retro Computer Game Box Art Appreciation Almanac

Postby Fried Gold on Thu Aug 06, 2009 12:36 pm

You want: Awesome cover? Amazing graphics? Cool robots? Appallingly abysmal gameplay?

You need: Rise of the Robots

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Re: Retro Computer Game Box Art Appreciation Almanac

Postby papalazeru on Thu Aug 06, 2009 5:22 pm

Fried Gold wrote:These Master System box covers always seemed odd to me:

Image Image

I mean who wants to see a photo of someone holding the game card?


Hey! Don't knock the Art in Cart, in Box.

That's avant garde.
Papa: The musical!

Padders: "Not very classy! Not very classy at all!"
So Sorry "I'll give you a word to describe it: classless."
Cptn Kirks 2pay: ".....utterly unclassy....."
DennisMM: "...Decidedly unclassy..."
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Re: Retro Computer Game Box Art Appreciation Almanac

Postby papalazeru on Thu Aug 06, 2009 5:32 pm

Another person who doesn't know anything,

Worst game covers

Barbarian 2 had one of the worst covers? WTF!!! It had Maria Whitacker basically naked. And it's a game where you hack fucking heads off!!!!

Tit's and heads rolling, how can you go wrong? It's even on the damned cover!!!!
Papa: The musical!

Padders: "Not very classy! Not very classy at all!"
So Sorry "I'll give you a word to describe it: classless."
Cptn Kirks 2pay: ".....utterly unclassy....."
DennisMM: "...Decidedly unclassy..."
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Re: Retro Computer Game Box Art Appreciation Almanac

Postby Wolfpack on Thu Aug 06, 2009 6:28 pm

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Re: Retro Computer Game Box Art Appreciation Almanac

Postby King Of Nowhere on Thu Aug 06, 2009 7:07 pm

Fried Gold wrote:These Master System box covers always seemed odd to me:

Image Image

I mean who wants to see a photo of someone holding the game card?


Holy shit, TransBot!
I haven't played that in years, well, it'll be decades i suppose.

Did they not introduce that packaging because the some versions of the Master System didn't have a card reader?
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Re: Retro Computer Game Box Art Appreciation Almanac

Postby Fried Gold on Thu Aug 06, 2009 9:13 pm

King Of Nowhere wrote:Holy shit, TransBot!
I haven't played that in years, well, it'll be decades i suppose.

I bought a copy for £1.75 on Ebay last year. It's Transformer-Gobot-ness slightly makes up for the shallow gameplay.

As the Master System knock-offs of famous franchises go...it's okay. Alien Syndrome was better.

Did they not introduce that packaging because the some versions of the Master System didn't have a card reader?

Yeah the Master System II didn't have the card slot.

Although by the time the Master System II was released, Sega had already stopped releasing card-format games.

And there were only about six games released on the card-format outside of Japan.
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Re: Retro Computer Game Box Art Appreciation Almanac

Postby magicmonkey on Thu Aug 06, 2009 11:02 pm

Image

The cover art is, well, not of todays standard, but it has it's charms. The game itself was fun though. Vic-20 FTW!
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Re: Retro Computer Game Box Art Appreciation Almanac

Postby DerLanghaarige on Fri Aug 07, 2009 2:49 am

magicmonkey wrote:Image

The cover art is, well, not of todays standard, but it has it's charms.


Reminds me of a newspaper comic strip.
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Re: Retro Computer Game Box Art Appreciation Almanac

Postby magicmonkey on Fri Aug 07, 2009 2:55 am

DerLanghaarige wrote:
magicmonkey wrote:Image

The cover art is, well, not of todays standard, but it has it's charms.


Reminds me of a newspaper comic strip.


Yeah, it looks like a satirical piece on Gordon Brown or something.
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Re: Retro Computer Game Box Art Appreciation Almanac

Postby papalazeru on Fri Aug 07, 2009 3:04 am

Hunchback was a huge game back in the day. HUGE!

There were comparisons for ages in the platform market as to whether it was a 'hunchback beater'. Inevitably, it lost when Jet Set Willy came along and blew the market away.
Papa: The musical!

Padders: "Not very classy! Not very classy at all!"
So Sorry "I'll give you a word to describe it: classless."
Cptn Kirks 2pay: ".....utterly unclassy....."
DennisMM: "...Decidedly unclassy..."
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Re: Retro Computer Game Box Art Appreciation Almanac

Postby Hermanator X on Fri Aug 07, 2009 4:09 am

I have great memories of Hunchback. My Mam used to try and play it and she just couldnt manage the jumps.

The teddy bears picnic theme music (Why?) would start up every time you started a level, and cut off when you died. Me and my brother used to roll around laughing as the music cut off at the same point every time. We still actually use it to wind her up now. Give a little whistle and she goes crazy. :lol:
...and so forth.
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Re: Retro Computer Game Box Art Appreciation Almanac

Postby papalazeru on Fri Aug 07, 2009 6:12 am

I always had a love for Roger Deans work with Psygnosis.

Roger Deans' own website

It kinda reminded me of Starblazers cover art in the UK form the early 80's.

Image
Image


oh, and I thought I'd throw this cover in for the fun of it because any person from the UK a certain age will remember this...

*Northern accent*
"Side step left...SIDE STEP LEFT....oh no...." :(
Image
Papa: The musical!

Padders: "Not very classy! Not very classy at all!"
So Sorry "I'll give you a word to describe it: classless."
Cptn Kirks 2pay: ".....utterly unclassy....."
DennisMM: "...Decidedly unclassy..."
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Re: Retro Computer Game Box Art Appreciation Almanac

Postby Fried Gold on Fri Aug 07, 2009 11:23 am

Ooh....nasty....

Knightmare FTW.
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Re: Retro Computer Game Box Art Appreciation Almanac

Postby travis-dane on Fri Aug 07, 2009 12:00 pm

Here is my favorite C-64 game...

Image

I played the shit out of it.

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Re: Retro Computer Game Box Art Appreciation Almanac

Postby papalazeru on Fri Aug 07, 2009 12:19 pm

Oh, you want Ninjas do you?

Do you?

Image

Image
Papa: The musical!

Padders: "Not very classy! Not very classy at all!"
So Sorry "I'll give you a word to describe it: classless."
Cptn Kirks 2pay: ".....utterly unclassy....."
DennisMM: "...Decidedly unclassy..."
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Re: Retro Computer Game Box Art Appreciation Almanac

Postby so sorry on Fri Aug 07, 2009 12:28 pm

Did you guys ever see the light of day as kids?
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Re: Retro Computer Game Box Art Appreciation Almanac

Postby papalazeru on Fri Aug 07, 2009 12:33 pm

so sorry wrote:Did you guys ever see the light of day as kids?



HISSSSSS!!!!
*Makes hissing nooise, bares claws and scurries away to shadowy corner of the room*


I played a shit lot of computer games, also, if I listed all the computers and consoles that I skrimped, saved and worked for, I could be hear a while.

I loved computer games, so much so when I was younger I wanted to programme some. Unfortunately when it got to the quake years, the 3d Modelling generation left me well in the dust...and tha'ts where it stayed.

Sufficed to say, I've played...A LOT. I've also completed...ALOT. There should be more appreciation for cover art, it used to be quintessential to selling a game, especially in the 1.99 days where you never even saw a review of these games.
Last edited by papalazeru on Fri Aug 07, 2009 12:40 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Papa: The musical!

Padders: "Not very classy! Not very classy at all!"
So Sorry "I'll give you a word to describe it: classless."
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DennisMM: "...Decidedly unclassy..."
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Re: Retro Computer Game Box Art Appreciation Almanac

Postby travis-dane on Fri Aug 07, 2009 12:36 pm

Papa, you forgot the NINJA...

Image

Image

I loved my Game Gear.
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Re: Retro Computer Game Box Art Appreciation Almanac

Postby papalazeru on Fri Aug 07, 2009 12:36 pm

Ah! Shinobi.

The ultimate ninja game.
Papa: The musical!

Padders: "Not very classy! Not very classy at all!"
So Sorry "I'll give you a word to describe it: classless."
Cptn Kirks 2pay: ".....utterly unclassy....."
DennisMM: "...Decidedly unclassy..."
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Re: Retro Computer Game Box Art Appreciation Almanac

Postby travis-dane on Fri Aug 07, 2009 12:40 pm

papalazeru wrote:Ah! Shinobi.

The ultimate ninja game.


Yeah, it was pretty awesome. It was the reason why I bought my Game Gear in the first place. And about a gazzillion batteries...
But it was worth it.
My cousin in Croatia still has it.
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Re: Retro Computer Game Box Art Appreciation Almanac

Postby papalazeru on Fri Aug 07, 2009 12:42 pm

travis-dane wrote:
papalazeru wrote:Ah! Shinobi.

The ultimate ninja game.


Yeah, it was pretty awesome. It was the reason why I bought my Game Gear in the first place. And about a gazzillion batteries...
But it was worth it.
My cousin in Croatia still has it.


Now Lynx is where the moneys at YO.

Atari made the flops but damn they are expensive doorstops now.
Papa: The musical!

Padders: "Not very classy! Not very classy at all!"
So Sorry "I'll give you a word to describe it: classless."
Cptn Kirks 2pay: ".....utterly unclassy....."
DennisMM: "...Decidedly unclassy..."
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Re: Retro Computer Game Box Art Appreciation Almanac

Postby CeeBeeUK on Fri Aug 07, 2009 12:44 pm

papalazeru wrote:
travis-dane wrote:
papalazeru wrote:Ah! Shinobi.

The ultimate ninja game.


Yeah, it was pretty awesome. It was the reason why I bought my Game Gear in the first place. And about a gazzillion batteries...
But it was worth it.
My cousin in Croatia still has it.


Now Lynx is where the moneys at YO.

Atari made the flops but damn they are expensive doorstops now.


But Atari made the Jaguar, which gave us Alien Vs Predator. Without them, you have nothing... NOTHING! ;)
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Re: Retro Computer Game Box Art Appreciation Almanac

Postby papalazeru on Fri Aug 07, 2009 12:45 pm

so sorry wrote:Did you guys ever see the light of day as kids?


I just realised the irony of that thread...on a film forum site where we are all confirmed geeks...with someone who has exactly the same post count...and IS A MOD.

Have at you, with your life, sir!

:lol:
Papa: The musical!

Padders: "Not very classy! Not very classy at all!"
So Sorry "I'll give you a word to describe it: classless."
Cptn Kirks 2pay: ".....utterly unclassy....."
DennisMM: "...Decidedly unclassy..."
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Re: Retro Computer Game Box Art Appreciation Almanac

Postby papalazeru on Fri Aug 07, 2009 12:47 pm

CeeBeeUK wrote:But Atari made the Jaguar, which gave us Alien Vs Predator. Without them, you have nothing... NOTHING! ;)


Oh, I'm not knocking them. Tempest 2000 was one of the most addictives games ever made. Jeff Minter was a mad man, and without Jeff and Atari, you wouldn't have games like, REZ, or microsoft wouldn't have their firm grasp on things like Galaxy Wars (which isn't theirs, it's JEFFS....or robotron/defender if you go way back).

Nice of you to chip in Ceebs. Now post some boxes yo!
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Padders: "Not very classy! Not very classy at all!"
So Sorry "I'll give you a word to describe it: classless."
Cptn Kirks 2pay: ".....utterly unclassy....."
DennisMM: "...Decidedly unclassy..."
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Re: Retro Computer Game Box Art Appreciation Almanac

Postby travis-dane on Fri Aug 07, 2009 12:49 pm

CeeBeeUK wrote:
papalazeru wrote:
travis-dane wrote:
papalazeru wrote:Ah! Shinobi.

The ultimate ninja game.


Yeah, it was pretty awesome. It was the reason why I bought my Game Gear in the first place. And about a gazzillion batteries...
But it was worth it.
My cousin in Croatia still has it.


Now Lynx is where the moneys at YO.

Atari made the flops but damn they are expensive doorstops now.


But Atari made the Jaguar, which gave us Alien Vs Predator. Without them, you have nothing... NOTHING! ;)


A buddy of mine had a Jaguar...talk about dead on arrival.
AvP was about the only good game together with Tempest...
Doom was okay too, but hey you know...

Oh and Atari... :P
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Re: Retro Computer Game Box Art Appreciation Almanac

Postby King Of Nowhere on Fri Aug 07, 2009 12:50 pm

Shinobi had a better cover on the c64.
Image

papalazeru wrote:Now Lynx is where the moneys at YO.


I actually have an Atari Lynx & Gates Of Zendocon lying about somewhere.
The screen is away though, I think one of the contacts is loose.
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Re: Retro Computer Game Box Art Appreciation Almanac

Postby travis-dane on Fri Aug 07, 2009 12:55 pm

King Of Nowhere wrote:Shinobi had a better cover on the c64.
Image


I disagree there Sir!
The GG cover has a Ninja in a flashy costume doing a flying kick, a giant fucking Robot on a rooftop, a floating head and five Ninjas in funky colored costumes!
And a Ninja throwing star!
the C-64 cover is just classy....
:wink:
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Re: Retro Computer Game Box Art Appreciation Almanac

Postby so sorry on Fri Aug 07, 2009 1:05 pm

papalazeru wrote:
so sorry wrote:Did you guys ever see the light of day as kids?


I just realised the irony of that thread...on a film forum site where we are all confirmed geeks...with someone who has exactly the same post count...and IS A MOD.

Have at you, with your life, sir!

:lol:


Whatever nerd.

I was all about D&D in my youth. Actually, truth be told, I was an Atari addict when I was a kid, but I never stuck with console gaming as I grew up (although I did spend waaay too much time at the arcades in college).
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Re: Retro Computer Game Box Art Appreciation Almanac

Postby Fried Gold on Fri Aug 07, 2009 1:09 pm

Did the Commodore version have a scary eagle-eyed Shinobi on it's title screen like the Master System?

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