DINOTRON!

[DinoDeLaurentiis]

Okay putzes...

So after a the runaway success of a the Dino Kong, this putz inna the marketing department, the one who made a the game, he comes back to a the Dino anna he says "Dino, how inna the hell am I gonna to follow uppa that act, eh? Dinna I achieve a the perfection onna the first try?"

"Goddamn PUTZ!" I say to him, eh? "Perfection? Holy crappa donna let a the Zonie Award for a the 2006 Game of a the Year go alla to a your head, eh? The Dino, he's a hadda to listen to alla the peoples complain ever since, no? 'The monkeys, they fall a too fast! The Dino, he donna move a fast enough! I canna get a the high score! wah wah waaaah!' No, paisan, donna be a so cocky, eh?"

"Yes sir, Mr. DeLaurentiis, sir," he says a to me... "what would a you have a me do for a the follow-uppa game then?"

"Goddamn putz!" I say to him. "Canna you see I'm a too busy moderating alla the goddamn pr0n bots inna the Zone to a deal with a the pedestrian mechanizations of a the goddamn video game, eh? That's a what I pay YOU for, you goddamn putz."

"But you dinna pay me a the last ti..."

"Shut uppa you face, eh? I gotta the pr0n bots a to deal with, eh?"

"Waitaminnit," he says... "did a you just a say a the 'pr0n bots'?"

"Yes, goddamn it. We canna seem a to get rid of a them, eh? The Admins, they add a the verification step onna the registration process, but some of a them keep onna getting through anna posting spam. Plus I gotta keep onna wading through alla the goddamn fluff that Havoc keeps onna spewing out just a to get to a the spam anna the ban button, no? It's a the tough life, being a the Mod."

"EUREKA!" says a the putz. "Have I gotta the game idea a for YOU!" anna he goes anna runs off, eh?

So... after a the years of a the development, he has a succeeded inna surpassing the inna'credible success of a the Dino Kong, eh? Inna the Dino's humble opinion, of a course. The game, she even a features a the Havoc anna the Kirk, eh? Inna honor of a their 10,000 posts, hehehe...

Anna so, without a the further ado, the Dino, he's a proud a to present a to alla you putzes...

DINOTRON: 3007!!!

[Flumm]

*waves goodbye to life*

[Doc Holliday]

Heh heh - that's a lot of fun. For some reason I can't move my Dinotron up or down - going to try it on the home computer and see if it works there.

I smell another Zonie....

[Flumm]

Curse you papa for being the first person at the top of the board....

You and your Germananic silent-partner secret naval training bases.

[Pacino86845]

Dino, the game is genius!!!




You created a the monster!!!

[Pacino86845]

"Shut uppa you face, eh? I gotta the pr0n bots a to deal with, eh?"

IPAMPILASH!!!!

[Doc Holliday]

Oh man - I was supposed to do work this afternoon and everything...

[MonkeyM666]

OH MY LORDY.... a game that my work Firewall doesn't block!


heheh... why is Havoc throwing cream at me?








oh....

[DinoDeLaurentiis]

Level 22, eh Doc? Holy crappa that's a pretty impressive, no?

[MonkeyM666]

yeah, bloody hell Doc.... thats as fast.

I think I know who Dino's lacky is....

[DinoDeLaurentiis]

Level 47 Papa? Holy crappa!

[havocSchultz]

Hahahahaha...nice...

Too bad I suck too much to even make it to myself in the game...

But I will destroy me and my fluff eventually...

Well done old man...

[Boll_KG]

Papa must love ze shooting Havok down.

I have to admit how accurate and true to life ze game is.

First sing to do is to hunt down Havok and kill him before he starts to fluff, den you are free to roam de zone.

[Leckomaniac]

Oh.My.Goddess.

Most fun/laughs/enjoyment I have had in quite some time. Many thanks.

[The Todd]

Damn Fluff.....

[Cha-Ka Khan]

Very cool. Hard though. I doubt I have a chance of making the board before noon.

[DinoDeLaurentiis]

Hmmm... the Dino, he has a the feeling that a the Papa, he's a prolly cheating, eh?

Goddamn putz.

[Flumm]

It's like Dino Kong all over again...

When's a putz gonna be able to catch a break in this crazey world?




I miss Joe the web guy.

[DinoDeLaurentiis]

I miss Joe the web guy.

Yes... The Dino, he likes a to think that a there's a the little bit of a the Joe inna alla us, no?

[DinoDeLaurentiis]

Okay so the Papa, he says that he's a not a cheating onna the game, anna so's the Dino, he's a gonna to publicly apologize for inna'sinna'uating it, eh?

I gonna to leave it uppa to a the popular opinion...

[Boll_KG]

Dino you must box papa.

He must be und cheater...nobody can get scores like dat against so many enemies.

It's like All de Germans against the rest of the vurld and losing.....vait a minute!

[The Todd]

I gonna to leave it uppa to a the popular opinion...

Poll?

[so sorry]

Wow!

That's kick ass old man.

[Boll_KG]

Qvit whining and get on and play ze game.

I can get ze high scores too....but I can't be bothered.

[Boll_KG]

You see...Uwe Proove his vurth.

[The Ginger Man]

Jesus Christ, Dino. That was great!

[Ribbons]

Man I suck at this game.

Damn you, havoc...

[St. Alphonzo]

This is a difficult one to play at work... I'm in here mashing the keyboard, and it's pretty obvious I ain't working on the department budget!

Another winner from Dino!

[Al Shut]

It's fun but not perfect.

The power ups are too powerful, I spent 99,9% of the game invincible.

[DinoDeLaurentiis]

It's fun but not perfect.

B4NN3d!!

The power ups are too powerful

Well, it IS a the Kirk we're talking about a here, no? Anna the supreme POWAAAAHHHH!!!! The Dino, he knows, eh? I tried banning the putz but a to no avail...

I spent 99,9% of the game invincible.

That's a perhaps a the strategy, eh? But you can a perhaps a get a the MORE points iffa you DONNA use a the power-ups, eh? You get a the "Unused Powah Uppa" bonuses iffa you donna use a them... anna they acrue over a the time anna add uppa atta the end of a the each level, no?

Or a so I have a been a told...

[so sorry]

There's power ups???

[DinoDeLaurentiis]

Goddamn putz... dinna you read a the "How to Play" inna'structions?!?

[so sorry]

There's instructions???

[DinoDeLaurentiis]

Holy crappa... you see that big red button onna the main screen? The one that a say "How to a Play?" Click that, eh?

[so sorry]

perhaps I should have used an emoticon when I wrote "There's instructions??? "

PUTZ!

[Lord Voldemoo]

Level 47 WTF?!?!?!

When I was helping Dino's assistant test this shit out I never got past level 7.

It would appear that years of drinking and mild drug use have dulled my reflexes, slightly.

DAMNATION!!!!!!!!

[Evil Hobbit]

bloody havoc

[St. Alphonzo]

Jesus, I suck at this thing. My old and gnarled fingers just aren't nimble enough...

[Boll_KG]

It's not being nimble dat saves you.....

It's da vill to survive.

[havocSchultz]

bloody havoc

Yeah...but only for about 5-7 days or so...

[wonkabar]

Damn you Al_Shut......HOW!

[RaulMonkey]

Damn you Al_Shut......HOW!

It's all about the POWAH!!! It becomes a whole different game the first time you transform into Kirk. You can remain almost perpetually invincible. The first 50 v1.0s you kill are slow going, but after that you're wasting 50 of them practically every level. And they usually all march toward you single file! If you want to employ a bit of strategy, you can still go for the Spam Clearance bonus, but I'd recommend building up a few Powah boosts before you get into that--and by that time the Spam bonuses are bigger anyway. Level 5 is probably the hardest in the game because it's hard to get a Powah boost by then and that's when Havoc first appears to slow you down.

It kind of reminds me of RAMPAGE for the NES where you could keep regenerating back to life just by pushing B a bunch of times. But DINOTRON is more than just a matter of persistence--it takes a lot of focus and skill to keep an eye on your Powah timer and find a safe place for your brief reversion back to Dino. Plus you gotta think about wasting Havoc in addition to the hordes of v1.0s 'cause that shifty bastard can tie you up at the end of a level.

I spent 99,9% of the game invincible.

That's a perhaps a the strategy, eh? But you can a perhaps a get a the MORE points iffa you DONNA use a the power-ups, eh? You get a the "Unused Powah Uppa" bonuses iffa you donna use a them... anna they acrue over a the time anna add uppa atta the end of a the each level, no?

Or a so I have a been a told...

The Unused Powah bonus is good, but I think it's nigh on impossible to survive past level 6 or so without becoming Kirk--often. And even when you're Kirk all the time you still end up with 2 or 3 unused Powahs at the end of every level anyway, there's so many 1.0s running at you for their chance to die. I imagine you start carrying over even more without trying as you go on--the highest level I've gotten to so far was forty-something.

[RaulMonkey]

Man, I think I'm straining a tendon over here. I'm gonna end up like that GUITAR HERO pitcher.

[Cpt Kirks 2pay]

HAHHAHAHHHHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!

I LOVE THIS GAME!!!!!!!!!!!

Thank You Dino. Pure brilliance!!!!!!! Thanks for honouring Havoc and me here by putting us in the game too. I laughed my head off when I was told about the Powah!!!! function and what happens with it, as told by the UKers today at the meet up. I wanted to go to bed when I got home just now, but I had to play it just to see it for myself.

I think it's farking excellent!!! Just brilliant hilarity!

[Lady Sheridan]

Holy crap, this game is HARD. I can't even get to the second level...

[The Todd]

Holy crap, this game is HARD. I can't even get to the second level...

HA! Even The Todd got farther than that!

[Lady Sheridan]

Holy crap, this game is HARD. I can't even get to the second level...

HA! Even The Todd got farther than that!

But The Todd is used to handling hard things, right?

[Cpt Kirks 2pay]

Man now matter how many lives you have and how much POWAH! you can really lose this game completely within seconds can't you?!?!? That's the frustration and addiction of it. Everytime it was Game Over, no matter how well and for how long I had been doing without getting killed, no matter what you've learnt about staying alive here - you STILL can be killed out of your game in seconds, just like that!

Literally, I had about 3 lives remaining, lost 1, then lost like, the remaining 2 lives in like a SECOND!!! This is like, after being up to about level 40, really far into the game.

Watch out for this game folks. It can REALLY kill you off with Sudden Death in a snap of Dino's fingers.

Anyway I got up to No 2 for the day. I love this game.

Best games with this amount of fun, energy, pure addiction and wrist ache and smile aches are games like this, those that echo a more past civilised age.

OLD SCHOOL DINO BABY!!!

[Cpt Kirks 2pay]

Oh, and let me say how much pleasure it gave me to keep on kicking Havoc's ass.

Also, even when he kept on covering my face with all that white stuff, I could still make him explode.

[The Todd]

Holy crap, this game is HARD. I can't even get to the second level...

HA! Even The Todd got farther than that!

But The Todd is used to handling hard things, right?

The Todd's got nothing.....