Stray Film Thoughts/Questions

New movies! Old movies! B-movies! Discuss discuss discuss!!!

Postby RogueScribner on Fri Jul 20, 2007 12:32 am

I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry

This is the new Adam Sandler and Kevin James comedy about two firefighters who fake a Dumbledore marriage in order to lock in the financial benefits for KJ's character's children should he die in the line of duty.

This movie isn't very deep so I'll keep this brief.

It's basically 1.75 hours of stupid g ay humor and 15 minutes of moralizing about how gays are people too. I pretty much think if you're a fan of Sandler, you'll like the movie. However, I didn't really go ga-ga over it. It's chock full of stereotypes and jock humor that undercuts the message the movie purports to put out. The movie's point is completely antithetical to its execution. I am honestly curious about how actual g ay people will respond to this movie.

To give you an idea of what I'm talking about, let's suppose someone made a movie that wanted to show people how racism is bad and then filled the movie with Italian mobsters, rapping hoodlums, Mexicans mowing lawns and dancing around sombreros, and Asians with buck teeth who can't spreak good Engrish (the latter of which is actually in this movie). It seems to work against itself, no? That's pretty much what this movie does.

I'm not sure who the intended audience for this is. Certainly not homosexuals. Probably not anyone who is friendly with or supports homosexuals. Not the biblethumping types who protest every g ay event in the country. I guess the people who don't know any g ay people in real life and think they are as strange as aliens from another planet. The problem is, while the movie wants you believe gays are people too, they fill it to the brim with every flaming g ay stereotype you can think of. There wasn't one believable g ay character in the entire movie. I doubt any g ay people even worked on the movie. Lance Bass does make an appearance, but still. I was pretty much dumbfounded by the whole thing.

Anyhoo, I did laugh here and there, and Jessica Biel is easy on the eyes, but the movie just doesn't work overall. It was like they hired Jerry Seinfeld to direct The Passion of the Christ. The message just gets lost in translation.

**/5 stars
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Postby burlivesleftnut on Sat Jul 21, 2007 12:48 am

Just got back from Hairspray. Yeah, I know, but when you have an older lover undercover, you sometimes have to take a hit.

The movie was actually pretty fun, but don't believe any hype about John Travolta winning people over. He was dreadful. It wasn't until the big dance routine at the end that the character was any fun at all. And the Blonksy chick does a good job, but she spends half the movie running around with the same idiotic smile on her face.
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Postby Cpt Kirks 2pay on Sat Jul 21, 2007 7:45 am

Thanks for the attention to these 2 movies guys. Hairspray I wouldn't mind seeing if forced to, like it was already playing in a room that I walked into etc. But fuck John Travolta. Oooh look, it's me in studly woman's outfit putting on a high pitched voice!!! Oh. Very gimmicky funny. Not to mention that quite frankly, what's the difference between that and all your other recent stuff John? I hate the way he can be overrated in his work. I can imagine peopel raving about him just 'cos they feel they have to, but I can imagine him being a wanker in it too and giving another mediocre performance at best, or being really irritating too, even worse than how I wnted to kick his face in in The General's Dwhoreter.

Chuck and Larry does sound like the typical thing that Adam Sandler does. What looks to him like a paycheck movie that has laughs written all over it that should equal a worthwhile comedy, no matter how cheap shit it actually turns out to be. Thing is, Dumbledore jokes are so easy to make, you've got litters and litters of them, and yeah, they will be at the expense of them no matter what you say. But I imagine this film is filled with as many as possible, but oh yeah, just so we don't offend any in the audience and lose some millions in BO we'll have the odd scene here and there that ticks the box 'oh we like gays really and we don't mean offence by all of what you've just seen'. Bollox, lame.

This is what it sounds like anyway. Is all.

I'm just glad that Kevin James who I really love watching in King of Queens for ages, is doing well in movies and getting what seem to be big parts in big movies. First Hitch with Will Smith, not this, and he's still doing that TV series too! Just hope his wife isn't still putting that weight on in the show.
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Postby burlivesleftnut on Sat Jul 21, 2007 10:17 am

Cpt Kirks 2pay wrote:I'm just glad that Kevin James who I really love watching in King of Queens for ages...


:shock:
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Postby unikrunk on Sat Jul 21, 2007 10:30 am

burlivesleftnut wrote:
Cpt Kirks 2pay wrote:I'm just glad that Kevin James who I really love watching in King of Queens for ages...


:shock:


Seconded. Maybe I need to adjust my Sarcasmeter...kirks, throw me a bone over here; are you serious?
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Postby tapehead on Sun Jul 29, 2007 7:02 am

Eagle Vs Shark - Seen at MIFF today.

The Castle, Love Serenade, and, yes, Napoleon Dynamite. If you've never seen any of these movies, I'm sure you'll find Eagle Vs. Shark a work of charm and originality. However if you know these movies, then Eagle Vs. Shark is going to seem a pretty derivative piece of work, whether it's strictly accurate to say that that is the case or not. And it's kind of a shame since Taika Cohen's début feature has a more substantial narrative and certainly more on it's mind than Dynamite, and a broader appeal than either of the Australian appeal I mentioned above, one that might still find it a good audience overseas.


EAGLE: New fans of the HBO comedy Flight of the Conchords will probably go see this to see Jemaine Clement, and although at times he seems eerily reminiscent of Jonathon Heder's character, the Film's Director at the Q&A following tonight's Australian premiere screening as part of the Melbourne International Film Festival, was keen to insist his New Zealand crew only saw the US movie after the script was written, and just before they filmed in Cohen's hometown of Wellington. Despite the resemblance - the hair (Clement opts for a truly horrendous ape drape mullet) the spectacles, the frustrated anger, the fondness for Nunchucks and martial arts without any apparent training to utilise such skills. I don't especially want to dwell upon these similarities, but they are bound to arise in relation to this film, but I would say there is no real question of imitation - this is a modern archetype.
However Jemaine's character Jarrod is subtley given more back story and possible reasons why he has developed into such a retardo. And more importantly, from the film's opening minutes he meets his match in a formidable opponent.


SHARK: Loren Horsley as Lily is a clumsy adolsescent with the features to rival contemporary screen beauty like Cate Blanchett or Miranda Otto (my main reason for comparing this to Love Serenade - If you can get your hands on Shirley Barrett's first film it is well worth watching) - a face which can seem average, even a little plain or ugly, and then the light will catch it's angularity or her green eyes and huge eyelashes will look past the camera and she will radiate bewildering beauty. But somehow she manages to inhabit her character, overgrown teen, stuck in a dead end job in fast food that she can't hold onto because her co-workers don't like her, planning, and waiting, and dreaming of falling in love.


Fans of Eighties/early Nineties console games will get a big laughs from the FIGHT MAN gaming competition where they first spend time together not waiting for a burger to be ready.

I don't want to go into spoilers from this point. The story flows naturally from here, although the pace is occasionally close to glacial. It's a film that insists upon taking it's time, but it's helped by occasional stop-animation sequences about the secret life of discarded apples, whose fates mirror the plight of our main characters (unfortunately, upon watching these scenes my first thoughts went to Gondry's Science of Sleep, but in this case the scenes are diversions which merely reinforce the main story, rather than being an integral part of it).

Both the leads are probably close to thirty but playing eternal teenagers, troubled and kind of damaged and never quite getting beyond dorky adolescence. And it's in this aspect that you will take or leave the story - you'll either go with this artifice or not. I did, and after seeing it tonight, I'd say that Eagle Vs.Shark is a minor gem, and a possible antidote to the overkill of the big blockbusters of recent months.
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Postby LeFlambeur on Sat Aug 11, 2007 2:26 am

Antonioni and Bergman may have passed, but another mid-twentieth century European master lives on and remains in good form. I just got done watching Alain Resnais' Private Fears in Public Places. I haven't totally digested it yet, but all I can say is: see this fucking movie. The film carefully studies the loosely intertwining lives of a handfull of lonely Parisian denizens. It's adapted from a stage play, yet remains highly cinematic nonetheless. Where many directors would approach this material with an aesetic, enervated feel, PFPP has a luminous, iridecent quality, with a few moments of jaw dropping expressionism.
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Postby Ribbons on Sat Aug 11, 2007 2:48 am

Thanks LeFlambeur. I'm a sucker for French movies but the preview for Private Fears... didn't really do much for me; I might have to check it out based on how much you seemed to like it though.
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Postby hookem2008 on Tue Aug 14, 2007 5:24 pm

I really didn't enjoy Becoming Jane. I don't know if anyone else has seen it, but I love Jane Austen's books, and the Colin Firth version of Pride and Prejudice, and this movie was a big disappointment to me.
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Postby wonkabar on Wed Aug 15, 2007 6:02 pm

Pathfinder sucks!

I don't know if there is a pathfinder thread somewhere or not...I don't care

Pathfinder sucks!
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Postby The Vicar on Wed Aug 22, 2007 12:55 pm

wonkabar wrote:Pathfinder sucks!

I don't know if there is a pathfinder thread somewhere or not...I don't care

Pathfinder sucks!


I could have warned you about that - my bad.
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Postby The Vicar on Wed Aug 22, 2007 12:56 pm

Avoid The Last Legion as though your sanity depended on it.
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Random Movie Reviews

Postby bastard_robo on Wed Sep 05, 2007 10:19 pm

Watched DEATH SENTENCE the other day.

A really decent Revenge flick.

Kevin Beacon (or the Beacon as I call him) dose fairly well as a man who wants nothing more than retribution for his son's senseless murder. He kills the guy who murderd his kid, but ends up opening a flood gate of shit upon his family when the rest of the gang comes after him.

Whats really good about the film is that Kevin Beacon's charecter is just a plain bussiness man. He's not tough, he's not a murder, but he's driven mad and when he kills for the fist time, he breaks down. Later when he finally takes the fight to the gang, he picks up some guns from John Goodman (playing a genuine sleezbag.) he has no idea how to use them, or to load them.

Its small touches like that really put a shine on me.

The Violence is a bit over the top at some points, but its all shiney for me.

My only quip with the flick is that

A) the ending, B) to continue on in THE GREAT SHAKEY CAM DEBATE, the camera is all over the place in parts of the flim.

But its still a worth while watch!

I'll drop a good 7/10 on it, and if you like revenge flicks, this one is worth the while.
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Re: Random Movie Reviews

Postby DinoDeLaurentiis on Fri Sep 07, 2007 1:48 pm

bastard_robo wrote:Watched DEATH SENTENCE the other day.

A really decent Revenge flick.


The Dino, he liked it better a the FIRST time I produce it, eh? Back a when it was a called a the goddamn "Death Wish" anna starred a the Charlie Bronson, no?
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Re: Random Movie Reviews

Postby Chilli on Fri Sep 07, 2007 1:53 pm

DinoDeLaurentiis wrote:The Dino, he liked it better a the FIRST time I produce it, eh? Back a when it was a called a the goddamn "Death Wish" anna starred a the Charlie Bronson, no?


Motherfucking Charlie Bronson and shit. :D
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Postby Cpt Kirks 2pay on Fri Sep 07, 2007 2:08 pm

I wanted to watch Death Sentance the other day, BR. That and Hallam Foe. Missed the oppotunity though. Still wanna see it though. The subject matter alone just grabbed me, and I'm not a fan of the Bacon myself. Death Wish? Similar yeah, but it all happens for different reasons doesn't it?

Care to elaborate more, BR?
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Postby DennisMM on Fri Sep 07, 2007 2:17 pm

In the movie, yeah. But Death Sentence the novel was a direct sequel to Death Wish.
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Postby Cpt Kirks 2pay on Fri Sep 07, 2007 2:19 pm

For real? Man, didn't know that! Then again, I didn't even know it was Friday!!! Aahhhahaaaahaaa!!!
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Postby bamf on Sun Sep 09, 2007 4:29 pm

In the Shadow of the Moon



As we get older, the lines and creases in our faces become more defined. It’s the repetition of a frown, a scowl, or a smile, thousands of times over that train the muscles and the skin that covers it. I am certain I have some very distinct lines on my body, but I cannot see them. These are creases produced by my repetitive desire to simply look up. I am a sky watcher, a star gazer. I set my alarm for two in the morning a few weeks ago to watch the lunar eclipse, a celestial event that created the blood-moon effect, and it was magnificent.

Last week I traveled north towards Santa Maria California to visit an old friend from Alaska who was fighting fires north of Santa Monica. The Alaska crew was getting their butts beat by the heat wave California was experiencing, and Nathan wasn’t too sure if their thick blood was going to let them see any action in the 106 degree heat. As I walked with him around the tent city, I saw faces covered in black soot, a water bottle in every hand, and a lone tree providing shade at capacity. The crew was exhausted, spent, some had heat stroke. I moved my chin up, to look upon a sun still high in the sky at seven in the evening—it was 90 degrees Fahrenheit. After sharing a beer and a conversation with Nate, I had to get on the road back south for a 3 hour trip back home, and I wanted to have some drive time while I still had some light.

I connected back with the 101 south at Santa Maria and about 20 minutes into the ride I came upon a disaster of cars. There were break lights illuminated red for about 2 to 3 miles around a curve. At first I thought I had come upon an accident. So I stayed in the queue and slowly inched my way forward for about an hour until I came to an exit where the highway patrol was directing traffic off the main highway. The bottle neck was causing chaos; there were Semi trucks in all different directions, SUVs and mini coopers parked off the shoulder like a blind man running the valet service. After more inching, I found a spot down a dirt road where I could wait out the congestion of the 101 south shut down. I was tired, I had been driving since noon that day so I could meet up with Nate in his hour of free time, it was now 10 and my body was feeling weary. The most unexpected thing happened when I was deliberating on the amount of sleep I would get, and the commute I had in the morning for work. The wind was howling from the west, I was a few miles away from the Pacific and my muscles sang out in relief as I closed my eyes and arched my back for a well needed stretch. Then I opened my eyes, arms still stretched to the sky and suddenly became aware of where the sky before me. With no light pollution from any city, and a clear sky filled only with westward born wind, the star field in the night sky was overwhelming with points of light. I could actually see the milky way, a band of white going North to south, I tried to get my bearings as an amateur astronomer by picking out some constellations but found the task most difficult. I was lost in a sea of stars on the good ship we call Earth travelling 67000 miles per hour around the sun.

As it turns out it wasn’t an accident, but a fire that had overtaken the 101 and had made it impossible to pass. I could hear it announced over a bull horn by the Highway patrolman who was diverting traffic off the highway. The creases in my neck must have been cut deeper that night, because it was only after another twenty minutes of gazing that I finally gave my neck a rest from the upward position. My arms and legs had become stiff again from the cold ocean air, but my mind was hot from the seduction of outer space.

In David Singleton’s documentary titled In the Shadow of the Moon the nine surviving astronauts tell their stories of America’s journey to the moon. Their voices are complimented by astounding footage of the Apollo program in progress, from the building of the Lunar Excursion Module (LEM) to the various failures of the Saturn rocket engine. Every failure was a success, and bold moves were made with the lessons of each launch until they got it right.

The Astronauts speak to the camera, and you feel like you are in a room with your Grandfather telling the stories of his past. The unique aspect of these tales, as one Apollo astronaut puts it, it all still sounds like a science fiction story. But we did it, man went to the moon over 30 years ago, and then we sadly stopped. Alan Bean brings a light air to the conversation of the film. He has a twinkle in his eyes that says he never really left the moon and the casting of Dave Foley as him in the HBO series From the Earth to the Moon was spot on. Michael Collins, who was part of Apollo 11 but never set foot on the moon, gives insight to what it is like to have two moons in your mind. The one vision of an earthbound watcher and one of a man who watched it pass below his orbit around the foreboding field of grey.

The footage shown is cut wonderfully. Sometimes the story tellers are put into contrast with their younger selves in frame. Footage of the surface of the moon is something I could look at on its own for whatever length of tape lasts. Seeing a man moving about on the surface brings a tangible aspect you just don’t get from a static shot on the cover of Life. The moon looks like a beach at night, yet fully illuminated. Having the opportunity to see this all upon a theater screen was a real treat. You get a first person point of view as the lunar rover bounces across the surface and damn does it look fun. David Singleton took archived NASA footage, living American treasures, and told a story with their voices that American’s have forgotten.

Perhaps part of the reason for this is that as our cities grow larger, and the light they give off begins penetrating farther into the reaches of space, we find less to look up to. Or maybe it is the affluence of progress that has made us complacent to the idea of space travel. We live in a time where toasters have silicon chips in them, a call across the Atlantic Ocean costs pennies, and we have men who have walked on the moon. The first two are tangible to anyone; the last is only fully appreciated by the surviving nine men who did it. So the rest of the world may think the idea of going back to the moon is interesting, but would dismiss its importance because they would never get the chance themselves.

You know, if there is one thing missing from In the Shadow of the Moon, I would say it was an interview of the man that started it all for America. I wonder what President Kennedy would have to say about the world he see’s in 2007, almost 50 years after he made his commitment to put a man in space. I wonder what he would say about a public that could identify Paris Hilton faster than Buzz Aldrin (I am just as guilty for this). But then, would we have accomplished his vision had he not been assassinated? It took eight years to accomplish the goal of going to the moon when we as a nation put our best minds, and lowest bidders to the task. Ill restate my position on manned space travel to another world, taken from a piece I wrote on the morning Space Shuttle Columbia never came home. Will we choose to live in a world in which all challenges are perceived as taken? A world where the gravity of an achievement lessens just because it was done before? It is this lot of thinking that separates us from making the bold, risk laden moves that had us protecting President Kennedy’s dream to accomplish a task


“Not because they are easy, but because they are hard.â€
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Postby Keepcoolbutcare on Mon Sep 10, 2007 6:58 pm

EXILED

awesome.

I want to review it, but after voraciously gorging through a bunch of reviews anything I write would smack of plagiarism.

damn you Hoberman, I was dying to use crepuscular to describe a film not directed by Malick!

the shootouts, while not being easy to orient to spatially, are still the best I've seen in a film this year...
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Postby stereosforgeeks on Mon Sep 10, 2007 8:13 pm

Keepcoolbutcare wrote:EXILED

awesome.

I want to review it, but after voraciously gorging through a bunch of reviews anything I write would smack of plagiarism.

damn you Hoberman, I was dying to use crepuscular to describe a film not directed by Malick!

the shootouts, while not being easy to orient to spatially, are still the best I've seen in a film this year...


KC it could be applied to Police Beat. I highly recommend the film as well. It is an African immigrant police officer investigating a bunch of crimes while dealing with a relationship. It was thge first feature from the guy who made Zoo.
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Postby Keepcoolbutcare on Mon Sep 10, 2007 8:53 pm

stereosforgeeks wrote:KC it could be applied to Police Beat. I highly recommend the film as well. It is an African immigrant police officer investigating a bunch of crimes while dealing with a relationship. It was thge first feature from the guy who made Zoo.


is that the flick where the African immigrant po-po is a bike cop in Seattle? I vaguely recall reading some reviews on it, all positive, but I may be confusing titles...
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Postby stereosforgeeks on Mon Sep 10, 2007 8:56 pm

Keepcoolbutcare wrote:
stereosforgeeks wrote:KC it could be applied to Police Beat. I highly recommend the film as well. It is an African immigrant police officer investigating a bunch of crimes while dealing with a relationship. It was thge first feature from the guy who made Zoo.


is that the flick where the African immigrant po-po is a bike cop in Seattle? I vaguely recall reading some reviews on it, all positive, but I may be confusing titles...


That's the right one.
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Postby stereosforgeeks on Tue Sep 11, 2007 9:52 am

I made a mistake, it was his second feature after the woman chaser from '99
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Postby Lord Voldemoo on Wed Sep 12, 2007 7:03 pm

stereosforgeeks wrote:
Keepcoolbutcar e wrote:EXILED

awesome.

I want to review it, but after voraciously gorging through a bunch of reviews anything I write would smack of plagiarism.

damn you Hoberman, I was dying to use crepuscular to describe a film not directed by Malick!

the shootouts, while not being easy to orient to spatially, are still the best I've seen in a film this year...


KC it could be applied to Police Beat. I highly recommend the film as well. It is an African immigrant police officer investigating a bunch of crimes while dealing with a relationship. It was thge first feature from the guy who made Zoo.


There's a review of Zoo on the main page right now from Vern

I discovered it by clicking on a link in the "infamous moments in AICN history" thread.

This one, actually:

Evil Hobbit wrote:
Mr. Nice Gaius wrote:Surely this thread deserves some sort of "infamous" consideration.

This Equinas guy...UNBELIEVABLE. :shock:


So, I'm looking at the review...I've never heard of Zoo before. First, I note, for the first time, that Vern lives in Seattle, YAY VERN!

Secondly I read this:

Vern wrote:What I didn't know when I saw that one was that the director was somewhat local. He apparently splits his time between L.A. and Seattle, where with local writer Charles Mudede he filmed his second and third movies, POLICE BEAT and now ZOO. Based on a true incident in the small town of Enumclaw, ZOO is mostly set in the outlying rural areas of the Puget Sound region, the camera floating dreamily through barren farms, glimmery blackberry bushes and beneath ominous cloudy skies. But the central character, called "Mr. Hands," works as an engineer for Boeing, so there is some footage of him on a balcony looking out on Seattle proper, the home of John Wayne's McQ, Bruce Lee's grave, me, and I guess Frasier. The cinematography by a guy named Sean Kirby is excellent, and he shows Seattle not as a postcard of the Space Needle, but as a menacing explosion of buildings springing from the earth between water and mountains. This is my Seattle, this is how the city should be shown.


I'm thinking "great! A Seattle love fest!! I love my city, i can't wait to see this..."

and then i think "oh fuck, did he say Enumclaw? I know my Puget Sound history and there is only one potential reason it could be set in Enumclaw..." Then i get to the next paragraph.

Vern wrote:Oh-- except for one thing. I forgot to mention. (SPOILER.) This is a movie about horsefuckers. Or I guess horsefuckees, if you want to get technical. The plight of the horsefucked. Requiem For a Guy Fucked To Death By a Horse, pardon my French. I'm trying to be a gentleman here but if there's a polite way to say "fucked to death by a horse" they never taught me that one in school.


DAMMIT!

The Enumclaw horse-fuckee story is still infamous around here. My buddy who works as a death investigator for the county was actually involved in the investigation.

WHY COULDN'T THIS BE ANOTHER COBAIN BIOPIC????
:P
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Postby minstrel on Wed Sep 12, 2007 7:11 pm

Lord Voldemoo wrote:The Enumclaw horse-fuckee story is still infamous around here. My buddy who works as a death investigator for the county was actually involved in the investigation.

WHY COULDN'T THIS BE ANOTHER COBAIN BIOPIC????
:P


Well, if Cobain is portrayed as having been fucked to death by a horse, then it could be.

And it would also be a more entertaining (?) movie.
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Postby Keepcoolbutcare on Wed Sep 12, 2007 7:15 pm

minstrel wrote:Well, if Cobain is portrayed as having been fucked to death by a horse, then it could be.


he was killed by a horse.

a horse named "Charley".

/drug euphemisms.
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Postby stereosforgeeks on Wed Sep 12, 2007 8:10 pm

Moo check out Police Beat. I totally dug it and it's Seattle based as well.
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Postby Lord Voldemoo on Wed Sep 12, 2007 8:11 pm

stereosforgeeks wrote:Moo check out Police Beat. I totally dug it and it's Seattle based as well.


but is there any horse-fucking?

I've heard good things, I will definitely check it out.
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Postby stereosforgeeks on Wed Sep 12, 2007 8:23 pm

Lord Voldemoo wrote:
stereosforgeeks wrote:Moo check out Police Beat. I totally dug it and it's Seattle based as well.


but is there any horse-fucking?

I've heard good things, I will definitely check it out.


Nah just cow fucking.
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Postby Lord Voldemoo on Wed Sep 12, 2007 8:31 pm

stereosforgeeks wrote:
Lord Voldemoo wrote:
stereosforgeeks wrote:Moo check out Police Beat. I totally dug it and it's Seattle based as well.


but is there any horse-fucking?

I've heard good things, I will definitely check it out.


Nah just cow fucking.


I picked a hell of a week to stop watching porn...
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Postby Peven on Wed Sep 12, 2007 8:37 pm

minstrel wrote:
Lord Voldemoo wrote:The Enumclaw horse-fuckee story is still infamous around here. My buddy who works as a death investigator for the county was actually involved in the investigation.

WHY COULDN'T THIS BE ANOTHER COBAIN BIOPIC????
:P


Well, if Cobain is portrayed as having been fucked to death by a horse, then it could be.

And it would also be a more entertaining (?) movie.


entertaining to watch Courtney fucking Cobain to death?
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Postby DinoDeLaurentiis on Thu Sep 13, 2007 12:36 pm

Lord Voldemoo wrote:The Enumclaw horse-fuckee story is still infamous around here.


Extremely telling when a you realize that a the Moo, he onna the farm where a the "accidental" death, she took a place, no?

Enumclaw-area animal-sex case investigated

King County sheriff's detectives are investigating the owners of an Enumclaw-area farm after a Seattle man died from injuries sustained while having sex with a horse boarded on the property.

Investigators first learned of the farm after the man died at Enumclaw Community Hospital July 2. The county Medical Examiner's Office ruled that the death was accidental and the result of having sex with a horse.

A surveillance camera picked up the license plate of the car that dropped the man off at the hospital, which led detectives to the farm and other people involved, said sheriff's Sgt. John Urquhart.

Deputies don't believe a crime occurred because bestiality is not illegal in Washington state and the horse was uninjured, said Urquhart.

But because investigators found chickens, goats and sheep on the property, they are looking into whether animal cruelty — which is a crime — was committed by having sex with these smaller, weaker animals, he said.

The farm was talked about in Internet chat rooms as a destination for people looking to have sex with livestock, he said.

"A significant number of people, we believe, have likely visited this farm," said Urquhart.

The Humane Society of the United States intends to use the case during the next state legislative session as an example of why sex with animals should be outlawed in Washington, said Bob Reder, a Humane Society regional director in Seattle.

"This and a few other cases that we have will allow us a platform to talk about sex abuse of animals," Reder said.

Thirty-three states ban sex with animals, he said.

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Susan Michaels, co-founder of local animal-rights organization Pasado's Safe Haven, said she has been fighting to have bestiality made illegal. "It's animal cruelty behind closed doors," Michaels said.


Note:
bestiality is not illegal in Washington state


This a fact, she explains a so much, eh Moo?
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Postby Lord Voldemoo on Thu Sep 13, 2007 1:26 pm

DinoDeLaurentiis wrote:
Lord Voldemoo wrote:The Enumclaw horse-fuckee story is still infamous around here.


Extremely telling when a you realize that a the Moo, he onna the farm where a the "accidental" death, she took a place, no?

Enumclaw-area animal-sex case investigated

King County sheriff's detectives are investigating the owners of an Enumclaw-area farm after a Seattle man died from injuries sustained while having sex with a horse boarded on the property.

Investigators first learned of the farm after the man died at Enumclaw Community Hospital July 2. The county Medical Examiner's Office ruled that the death was accidental and the result of having sex with a horse.

A surveillance camera picked up the license plate of the car that dropped the man off at the hospital, which led detectives to the farm and other people involved, said sheriff's Sgt. John Urquhart.

Deputies don't believe a crime occurred because bestiality is not illegal in Washington state and the horse was uninjured, said Urquhart.

But because investigators found chickens, goats and sheep on the property, they are looking into whether animal cruelty — which is a crime — was committed by having sex with these smaller, weaker animals, he said.

The farm was talked about in Internet chat rooms as a destination for people looking to have sex with livestock, he said.

"A significant number of people, we believe, have likely visited this farm," said Urquhart.

The Humane Society of the United States intends to use the case during the next state legislative session as an example of why sex with animals should be outlawed in Washington, said Bob Reder, a Humane Society regional director in Seattle.

"This and a few other cases that we have will allow us a platform to talk about sex abuse of animals," Reder said.

Thirty-three states ban sex with animals, he said.

advertising
Susan Michaels, co-founder of local animal-rights organization Pasado's Safe Haven, said she has been fighting to have bestiality made illegal. "It's animal cruelty behind closed doors," Michaels said.


Note:
bestiality is not illegal in Washington state


This a fact, she explains a so much, eh Moo?


Damn you, sir.

For the record, bestiality IS illegal in Washington now, mostly thanks to this case.
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Postby DinoDeLaurentiis on Thu Sep 13, 2007 2:50 pm

Lord Voldemoo wrote:For the record, bestiality IS illegal in Washington now, mostly thanks to this case.


One a bad apple, as a they say, no?
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Postby Lord Voldemoo on Thu Sep 13, 2007 2:51 pm

DinoDeLaurentiis wrote:
Lord Voldemoo wrote:For the record, bestiality IS illegal in Washington now, mostly thanks to this case.


One a bad apple, as a they say, no?


HAHAHAHAHAHA

i hate you so much.
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Postby Peven on Thu Sep 13, 2007 5:22 pm

Lord Voldemoo wrote:
DinoDeLaurentiis wrote:
Lo rd Voldemoo wrote:The Enumclaw horse-fuckee story is still infamous around here.


Extremely telling when a you realize that a the Moo, he onna the farm where a the "accidental" death, she took a place, no?

Enumclaw-area animal-sex case investigated

King County sheriff's detectives are investigating the owners of an Enumclaw-area farm after a Seattle man died from injuries sustained while having sex with a horse boarded on the property.

Investigators first learned of the farm after the man died at Enumclaw Community Hospital July 2. The county Medical Examiner's Office ruled that the death was accidental and the result of having sex with a horse.

A surveillance camera picked up the license plate of the car that dropped the man off at the hospital, which led detectives to the farm and other people involved, said sheriff's Sgt. John Urquhart.

Deputies don't believe a crime occurred because bestiality is not illegal in Washington state and the horse was uninjured, said Urquhart.

But because investigators found chickens, goats and sheep on the property, they are looking into whether animal cruelty — which is a crime — was committed by having sex with these smaller, weaker animals, he said.

The farm was talked about in Internet chat rooms as a destination for people looking to have sex with livestock, he said.

"A significant number of people, we believe, have likely visited this farm," said Urquhart.

The Humane Society of the United States intends to use the case during the next state legislative session as an example of why sex with animals should be outlawed in Washington, said Bob Reder, a Humane Society regional director in Seattle.

"This and a few other cases that we have will allow us a platform to talk about sex abuse of animals," Reder said.

Thirty-three states ban sex with animals, he said.

advertising
Susan Michaels, co-founder of local animal-rights organization Pasado's Safe Haven, said she has been fighting to have bestiality made illegal. "It's animal cruelty behind closed doors," Michaels said.


Note:
bestiality is not illegal in Washington state


This a fact, she explains a so much, eh Moo?


Damn you, sir.

For the record, bestiality IS illegal in Washington now, mostly thanks to this case.


but it wasn't illegal so many years ago when Moo was conceived, back when the BovineBangers ran wild in that neck of the woods.
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Postby DennisMM on Thu Sep 13, 2007 5:27 pm

Bovine Bangers is just too much like Rescue Rangers for me not to have awful visions of Fievel stuck in my head until sweet, sweet death claims me.
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Postby magicmonkey on Thu Sep 13, 2007 10:46 pm

Lord Voldemoo wrote:WHY COULDN'T THIS BE ANOTHER COBAIN BIOPIC????
:P


Just leave Britney alone!!!!
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Postby Pacino86845 on Sat Sep 22, 2007 5:40 pm

It pains me to even write as little as I'll end up writing about Breach, the Chris Cooper and Ryan Philippe-starring FBI security breach movie. Worst 2007 release I saw so far. I gave it a 2/10 in my journal, but I have to give everyone a general advisory: DO NOT WATCH BREACH!!!!
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Postby Ribbons on Sat Sep 22, 2007 6:30 pm

Pacino86845 wrote:It pains me to even write as little as I'll end up writing about Breach, the Chris Cooper and Ryan Philippe-starring FBI security breach movie. Worst 2007 release I saw so far. I gave it a 2/10 in my journal, but I have to give everyone a general advisory: DO NOT WATCH BREACH!!!!


I saw Breach; I thought it was kind of middle-of-the-road, but not horrible. What about it did you rate so low?
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Postby Pacino86845 on Sat Sep 22, 2007 6:40 pm

Oh boy, where to start!

Middle of the road is a good description Ribbons, but I found that it was excessively so. It was so middle of the road it hurt. There was absolutely not one single surprise, not one breath of freshness, not one ioata of originality or uniqueness, not even the slightest character to this film.

It was as if the filmmakers aspired to reach middle of the road, and what made it truly terrible is that they really had a decent story in their hands: the story of the GREATEST SECURITY BREACH IN U.S. HISTORY. They botched it. The script was terrible, the characters were dull, so much so that most actors looked half asleep in their roles.

Ryan Philippe's permanent pursed lips never looked so annoying. His wife was a horribly written character, with a terrible actor playing the role. Even Chris Cooper appeared to be phoning it in for several scenes, but nevertheless he's the ONLY reason I didn't give the film a 1/10.
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Postby Ribbons on Sat Sep 22, 2007 6:56 pm

Yeah, that sounds about right. The story got really dull after Chris Cooper's character was outed as a double agent; the hour or so's worth of near-misses and exposures made it pretty obvious that the movie was just treading water. Although I thought Laura Linney was pretty good too.
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Postby Pacino86845 on Sun Sep 23, 2007 4:40 am

Laura Linney, like most of the supporting cast, appeared to be sleepwalking through the entire film... I can picture it now, director Billy Ray's instructions:

"Ok guys, for this scene, I want you all to look really tired. Remember, you've been chasing this guy for months, your entire career was worthless, you're tired. More tired! Ok, a little less tired. Great! You walk through the door... and CUT!"

And later, when the film's over:

"Ok Laura, so you caught the bad guy, but remember, you're still tired. You say your line, no, more tired! Ok, that's better, but more tired!! Great! Ryan, purse your lips a little more. Remember, you're a hot shot rookie, purse your lips more 'cause you saved the day! Ok, great! CUT!!!"
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Postby Ribbons on Sun Sep 23, 2007 4:44 am

Speaking of Ryan Phillippe, did you notice that huge bump on his forehead? What was up with that?
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Postby Pacino86845 on Sun Sep 23, 2007 4:45 am

Ribbons wrote:Speaking of Ryan Phillippe, did you notice that huge bump on his forehead? What was up with that?


HAHAH, I'm glad you mentioned it 'cause I was feeling really bad for focusing on it throughout the film. I have no idea what that is, but Harry Dean Stanton has the same sort of bump, no?
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Postby Ribbons on Sun Sep 23, 2007 4:50 am

Yeah, Stanton's is like a monster version of the same bump. Maybe Phillippe just got whomped on the head right before production.
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Random Movie Reviews

Postby bastard_robo on Sun Sep 23, 2007 6:35 am

DRAGON WARS (D-WAR)

I saw this last weekend, but I havent had time to write about it.

I've been following Dwars since it was announced and the first bit of footage was show all the way back in 2002, So I've been invested into this flick.

Going in, based on the directors previous outing in the remake of the Korean monster flick called YOUNGGARY, which was bad... very bad, effects and all, I was expecting bad.

What I got was Camp!

Great camp.

The flick is shot with what a Korean thinks that American action flicks should be like, and to be honest, he's not far off. The charecters are one dimensional, the acting is stiff and just down right bad at points, and there are plot holes galor!!! But it delivers on the romantic subplot, a bad guy that looks like it was written for Micheal Ironside, and action that has a lot of destruction.

The story is very basic. Heaven chooses a Moogi (or a giant snake) every 500 years to become a Dragon and use its power for either good or evil. The power to become a dragon is kept in a young woman, and there are 2 men who have a vast array of martial arts skills to protect her. Well, one of the giant snakes didnt get chosen to become the next dragon, so he builds an army and tries to take the power by force.

SHit happens and he's got to wait 500 years were people who were Korean reincarnate into white folks that live in L.A. Evil Snake god comes back, destroys a bunch of shit, goverment knows about it and sends army after it. Battle, crappy acting and another battle and thats the movie.

I love giant monster films, I'm probably the biggest Godzilla whore here and own every gamera film too, so I dont expect oscar caliber stuff. But stiff acting reminded me of the 60's batman show and the battle sceens with the dragon army in Downtown L.A made the movie very watchable. The Effects were fairly decent and some shots were really great while some were, well, they wernt Sci Fi Orginal movie bad, and I'll leave it at that.

While I'm sure that Cloverfield will be spades better, if you have some time to kill and want to watch a fun but dumb as hell movie, then I'd recommend DWars. Its not the Host,, but its not Python either.
Last edited by bastard_robo on Sun Sep 23, 2007 6:36 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Postby Ribbons on Tue Oct 09, 2007 1:46 am

The TV Set


The movie opens with a parade of cars inching their way into an anonymous studio lot. A personal manager makes pleasantries with a security guard; a young actor tries reading a line off of his crumpled script in every way imaginable; and a man with a scruffy beard stands around looking very nervous. That man is Mike Klein, the writer of a semiautobiographical pilot called "The Wexler Chronicles," which is the toast of town. He's spent the better part of his career doing grunt work on mediocre network jobs, but now that the fate of his own story is in his hands, he's determined to take responsibility for the creative content of the show, and he's found the guy that he knows to be just perfect for the lead role. Sure, the executives sitting in on his script sessions demanded that he bring in another actor to test for the lead, "just in case," but life is good nonetheless.

The rest of the movie chronicles how everything manages to fall apart.

The actor, premise, tenor, and even the title of the show get hijacked -- slowly but surely turning "The Wexler Chronicles" into a horrifically unappealing sitcom called "Call Me Crazy!" -- by Lenny, the network president (Sigourney Weaver, alternately incompetent and ruthless), whose mantra is "original scares me." The actors, directors, and even writer help to unwittingly sabotage the pilot as well, as each of their personalities collide and form a mash-up of discordant agendas. The thing about entertainment is that it's a business first, and everything ostensibly important about storytelling -- personal gratification, humanity, artistic integrity, good taste -- gets steamrolled by various aspects of the business, whether it be a personal manager who's more concerned about sucking up to the most powerful person in the room than defending her client, or a not-quite-sexy actress who's worried about raising her profile, or a writer who needs to help facilitate the destruction of his own script in order to afford health insurance for his children.

David Duchovny makes for a good Chayefsky-an hero. With his hangdog face and his froggy voice, he's well-cast as the character of Mike Klein, both jaded and earnest at the same time, whose indignities eventually end up manifesting themselves in the form of a literal malady (in this case, he's hospitalized about halfway through the film and finds himself confined to crutches for the rest of the run-time). Judy Greer is excellent, as always, and sometimes steals a scene with just a facial expression. But real kudos go to Fran Kranz, who I don't think I've seen in anything besides for a ten-second scene in Orange County, and who's graduated to a significantly larger role here. He plays Zack, the horrendous actor that the network saddles Duchovny's show with, but who plays well in a room full of suits because he's got an adorable puppy-dog face and he mugs for the camera. I imagine it's got to be hard for an actor to play a (hilariously) bad actor without overselling it, but Kranz walks the line very well.

It's a comedy, but it's not really a gut-buster (watch the trailer for a pretty accurate read on the tone). The humor is more like the BBC version of "The Office" -- almost painful to watch at times. But Jake Kasdan (son of Lawrence, and who has his own horror story with his aborted pilot "Zero Effect") has good instincts, and he packs the film with sly details that really make it work. Zack tells Mike (Duchovny) during the shooting of the pilot that he's planning on buying a Jetta, to which Mike recommends he hold off on doing until the pilot actually gets greenlit. Twenty minutes later, cut to a throwaway moment where Zack is smoking a Smokey Thingie while leaning against a brand new Jetta in the parking lot.

It's not a great film (and from what little we see of it, "The Wexler Chronicles" doesn't look especially mind-blowing either), but at the very least it is Kasdan's film, and as Mike says about his script while it's on its way to perdition, "I know it's not Shakespeare. And I knew it was never going to be The Sopranos. But it's my story, and it's important to me, and if I don't take responsibility for my show -- if I just sit back and let them do whatever they want to it -- then I'M responsible for churning mindless crap into people's homes. I'M making the world more mediocre." That sense of artistic outrage, that exploration of how most creative aspirations ultimately get processed and destroyed is, at all times, The TV Set's greatest asset, and to that end, it ends on the perfect note. It's not a great film, but it's a good one. I'd give it a 7/10. And it's on Netflix now!, so, you know, queue it up. :wink:

Comments? Criticisms? I'd love to hear some feedback, even if you're not particularly interested in my opinions or this movie.

(EDIT: Shameless Bumpage!)
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Postby Pacino86845 on Tue Oct 09, 2007 3:51 am

I usually have a bit of a problem with films that are about making films/television shows... I feel that there's a big onus on them to bring something new to the table, something relevant to the rest of us, or else it's just celebrity masturbation (look at us, we can take tongue-in-cheek jabs at ourselves, we're not so stuck up after all!!!).

That said, you wrote an excellent review Ribbons!! I give it a 9/10!!!

But based on your opinion, I don't think I'd go out of my way to watch this movie. Charlie Kaufman's Synecdoche, on the other hand...
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