The Zone

by **colonel_lugz** on Mon Apr 10, 2006 3:01 pm

brilliant

by **Cpt Kirks 2pay** on Mon Apr 10, 2006 3:04 pm

You posted it the times. Are you some kind of pervert?

"Haaaaay!! I'm nort a pwerrveert!!!"

by **papalazeru** on Mon Apr 10, 2006 3:32 pm

Kirk.....even in text you sound so much like him.

I'd tipped my hat to you if it werent for the fear of you doing something rather peculiar involving my death followed by one of the worlds worst puns.

Can anyone think up deaths and puns that Arnie SHOULD HAVE done in a film?

by **colonel_lugz** on Mon Apr 10, 2006 4:15 pm

look at his hair!

Oh, and im thinking of some Papa, ill go down the pub and think reeeaaaall hard

by **Vegeta** on Mon Apr 10, 2006 4:15 pm

Lugz, what is your avatar? I, for the life of me, can't make it out. I see a hand, some lips...?

by **papalazeru** on Mon Apr 10, 2006 4:46 pm

I'll start it off with a weak hypothetical Arnie pun.

If Arnie threw someone into a tank of sharks and got eaten. As hes leaving, someone says,
"What happened to the guy?"

Arnie replies,
"He went fishing"

That sorta think. Any more Hypotheticals.......Captn?

Lets have Arnie in some other films as well like putting him in 'the big lebowski' and think of a quote for him.

by **Cpt Kirks 2pay** on Mon Apr 10, 2006 7:07 pm

OK, I got some for ya Papa.

Let's say that Arni is fighting some guy in a factory or something, then Arnie hits a lever and loads of cornflakes come out of a huge massive container and suffocates the guy.

THen Arnie says, "Cereal Keellerh! Yoo see, yoo see whart ah deed dyere? I twook the wlord 'Ceereahl' and keeled ah marn, and ah deed a plaay on wlyords ahn made ah doarble myeaning ahn der wyord cyrereal - ahnd sooh - Cereahl Kyeelea! AAAAHHHAAAAHAHAHAAAHAAAAAAAAHHHHGGGHH!!!!!!

Or what about if Arnie kills a guy with a 12" record, like slices his head off with eet?

"HaHah!!! Recyorhd Blreakah!! HAHAAH!! Daaht waars vely fyaarhnee!! HAHAAH!! Ah ahm haarhveeng ah gyood tahm ohn dees mwoovee, ah ahm makieeng so mahnee jyokes thaht ah ahm hahving a larf mysyelf! Down't yoo theenk thaht's amaahzeeng?! Doown't yoo thyeenk thaht's incrledeeble?!"

"Fuck Off Arnie."

by **Nachokoolaid** on Mon Apr 10, 2006 7:32 pm

Arnie kills the Shah of Iran:

"Shah-zam!!!"

Arnie kills a milkman:

"It didn't do his body good."

Arnie kills his popularity with the voters:

"?...."

by **papalazeru** on Mon Apr 10, 2006 8:08 pm

Arnie throttles a guy to death after a violent fight scene,

"I guess da CHOKE's on him!"

Arnie ends a fight scene from a deleted scene of Batman by a Rectal Goring of the Joker

Arnie: "He is FANNY ASS HELL (funny as hell)"

by **wonkabar** on Mon Apr 10, 2006 8:10 pm

When he bites the buzzard on the Tree of Woe in Conan. Couldn't find a pic of it anywhere...bummer

by **DinoDeLaurentiis** on Mon Apr 10, 2006 8:12 pm

Arnie at a the end of a the King Kong, eh?

Denham: No, the planes, they dinna get him, eh? 'Twas a the Beauty, she kill a the Beast, no?

Ahnold: Wat are yoo talkeeng about, eh? It waz da planes... da planes, I'm telleeng yoo, dey shot da monkee down. Did yoo not see da same movee as me?

by **Flumm** on Mon Apr 10, 2006 8:56 pm

by **Cpt Kirks 2pay** on Mon Apr 10, 2006 9:03 pm

God that guy is such a moron!!! 'Arnold is Numero Uno'. Pah!

At least he's getting away with it.

by **colonel_lugz** on Mon Apr 10, 2006 9:06 pm

Cpt Kirks 2pay wrote:God that guy is such a moron!!! 'Arnold is Numero Uno'. Pah!

At least he's getting away with it.

Hey hey hey!!! lets keep it friendly here!!!

Arnie is a God!

Bow at his feet kirk, you worm!

by **Flumm** on Mon Apr 10, 2006 9:07 pm

I like the way he has a preceriously placed plate of chicken wings balancing on his lycra clad crutch for afters.

Oh, and after some all to easy googling, there's more where that came from...

by **Cpt Kirks 2pay** on Mon Apr 10, 2006 9:13 pm

LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL!!!!!!!

That might be the best one yet!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

by **papalazeru** on Mon Apr 10, 2006 9:21 pm

by **Cpt Kirks 2pay** on Mon Apr 10, 2006 9:31 pm

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG GGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

by **papalazeru** on Mon Apr 10, 2006 9:34 pm

You're not you....You're Me.
You are.....

by **Lady Sheridan** on Mon Apr 10, 2006 9:48 pm

colonel_lugz wrote:

Does anyone else see the resemblence?

by **Cpt Kirks 2pay** on Wed Apr 12, 2006 12:26 am

Beehtween my Glaahk, ahnd your faythe - aahd rahtha taake mah Glaahk!

by **papalazeru** on Wed Apr 12, 2006 1:13 am

WTF was that meant to say?

Not quite up on my Arnesian language classes

by **wonkabar** on Wed Apr 12, 2006 8:26 pm

by **Cpt Kirks 2pay** on Sat May 27, 2006 5:18 am

Here's one I forgot earlier.

Last Action Hero

"Heeey, yooo waaarn teerr beeee yaa faaarhmaar? Heyeere's aah caaarple aahf Acrrrreees!!"

BOOMMPPHHH!!!! A massive kick to the balls and Arrhhnee seeends da guuy flyeeennn'.

by **colonel_lugz** on Thu Dec 21, 2006 10:49 am

HAHHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAA

You HAVE to watch this all the way through!!

the man is an animal!

http://www.yourdailymedia.com/media/1131802901

by **silentbobafett** on Thu Dec 21, 2006 11:08 am

Arnie: "Ave a couple of acres..."

Bad guy gets booted in the nuts! Classic! Fucking classic! :-)

by **MonkeyM666** on Thu Dec 21, 2006 11:58 am

I just love Commando for so many reasons.... now that was a golden age for Arni.

Now there's a guy who can pick shit up....

by **banthafodderUK** on Thu Dec 21, 2006 12:59 pm

"GET IN THA CHOPPPAA BIIIILLLEEEEE!!!!!!!!"

or

"Why dont they just call him Girl George?"

by **ThisIsTheGirl** on Thu Dec 21, 2006 1:03 pm

I'm very fond of the bit towards the end of Commando, when about 20 guys jump on Arnie, and he throws them all off and they all go flying in opposite directions, cartoon-style.

Other than that, the Tech-Noir scene in The Terminator. Too cool for school...

by **godzillasushi** on Thu Dec 21, 2006 1:48 pm

Some Mr. Freeze,

"Hello, Sorry about the door, Is the party over? "

"Henchman: Sir! Sir! You've gotta see this!
[Freeze freezes him]
Mr. Freeze: I hate it when they talk during the movie."

"Ice to see you!"

"Cool party!"

"Allow me to break the ice. My name is Freeze. Learn it well. For it's the chilling sound of your doom. "

"A laundry service that delivers. Wow!"

"Let's kick some ice!"

Wow I cant believe those are actual lines...

by **WinslowLeach** on Thu Dec 21, 2006 1:49 pm

COMMANDO

"What happened to Sully?"

"I let him go"

Watch that scene where Arnie flips Sully's Porsche over. The whole side is dented in in the first shot and as they drive off, the side is totally nice and shiny. HAHA!

Twins is an awesome Arnie film and funny as hell.

Julius: Where are you?

Vincent: See that little dot in your rear view mirror? Thats me! HELLOOOOOO!

Julius: HAHAHAHA! What are you doing back dare?!

Then after Julius does the two wheelie thing into the supermarket parking lot and turns to Vincent and goes:

"Did you see me on the two wheels?"

I always laugh at his delivery on that one.

I also LMAO in Running Man when hes in the helicopter and hes almost falling out and he does the trademark gutteral Arnie scream:

"ARRRRGhGGHHGHGGHGGGGAAHHHHHHHHH!"

by **bastard_robo** on Thu Dec 21, 2006 2:40 pm

ON Conan O'Brian:

"If you show a man a jingle, he'll jingle for a day. If you teach a man a jingle......HE"LL JINGLE ALL THE WAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

by **godzillasushi** on Thu Dec 21, 2006 2:41 pm

bastard_robo wrote:"If you show a man a jingle, he'll jingle for a day. If you teach a man a jingle......HE"LL JINGLE ALL THE WAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Oh my goodness I remember that. Sooo funny!

by **banthafodderUK** on Thu Dec 21, 2006 2:44 pm

DOOOOIT BEENNNNNETTTTTTTT!!! STICK A KNIFE IN MEEE!

(arnie talking to freddy mercury in Commando)

Is BENNETT the worst EVER baddie in the fucking whole world??

by **so sorry** on Thu Dec 21, 2006 2:53 pm

banthafodderUK wrote:Is BENNETT the worst EVER baddie in the fucking whole world??

studly guys in chain link vests are tought mother fuckers.

"I'm gonna kill you John!"

by **RaulMonkey** on Mon Oct 01, 2007 5:18 pm

"It's all bullsheet! All off it! The Kabinet Minister! The whole bizniss! Got us in here to do your dirty work! ... So you cooked up a story and dropped in us into a meat grindah!"

I just watched PREDATOR over the weekend in Victoria, out for my buddy's wedding. We were rattling Arnold lines off the whole time.

Then on the ferry back to the mainland we started making up our own movie where terrorists took over the ferry, and the three of us had to go John McClane on their asses. And for some reason there wouldn't be any guns involved--only medieval type shit: swords, hatchets, maces, spears, cat o' nine tails... a lot of other surprises that we could get our hands on throughout.

In one scene one of the baddies picks up an electric guitar and starts playing like he thinks he's fucking cool... Then I storm in and say, "Don't rock the boat" and throw a handful of sharpened jacks at the guitar strings, which make them all go PRAAANG!!! And they whip up and scratch the guy in the face.

And then a big-ass fight ensues while the rock 'n' roll music keeps playing. At the very end my buddy Geoff chucks a shuriken right in the middle of the bad guys face, and he's finally down. Geoff quips, "You're a real star now."

by **RaulMonkey** on Mon Oct 01, 2007 5:50 pm

...And did I mention we all have Austrian accents? 8) I think the point of my post was that in later drafts the Matt, Geoff and Travis characters would be consolidated into a single character to be played by Arnold. Pasty Canadian boys obviously can't pull off the kill lines properly.

But I do wonder what it would be like to make a super cheap Canucksploitation flick where the three main good guys all, completely inexplicably, talk like Arnold. I'm sure it would seem stupid at first, but once you got used to it...

by **LaDracul** on Mon Oct 01, 2007 9:08 pm

The scene in "Batman and Robin" where he's making his henchman sing along with the Snow Miser song.

"SING DAMN YOU, SING!!!!!"

by **Wolfpack** on Mon Oct 01, 2007 9:31 pm

It's not a too-mah!

by **DinoDeLaurentiis** on Tue Oct 02, 2007 9:51 am

History wrote:"She seems to me like Cuban," Schwarzenegger says.

"She's not Mexican," Kennedy replies.

"No," the governor agrees.

"But she said something," Kennedy says, "and I thought, I thought she was Puerto Rican."

Then Schwarzenegger offers a theory.

"She maybe is Puerto Rican or the same thing as Cuban. I mean, they are all very hot. They have the, you know, part of the black blood in them and part of the Latino blood in them that together makes it."

Hehehehe... the putz.

by **unikrunk** on Tue Oct 02, 2007 10:02 am

oh, this easy

The Butcher of Bakersfeild wrote:"Hey Killlian, Sub-Zero, now plain zero"

and

Conan wrote:"They all slut"

by **Cpt Kirks 2pay** on Tue Oct 02, 2007 10:15 am

I think he was playing a Lene Marlin song.

AAAHM SSEEEETEEN DWOOOYOOOWN HYEAAAARRRRHHHH!!!! NGGGGYYAAAAAAAARRRHHH!!!

YOOOO CAAAAHHN'D SYEEEEEE MYEEEEAHH!!!

by **unikrunk** on Tue Oct 02, 2007 10:25 am

Cpt Kirks 2pay wrote:

I think he was playing a Lene Marlin song.

AAAHM SSEEEETEEN DWOOOYOOOWN HYEAAAARRRRHHHH!!!! NGGGGYYAAAAAAAARRRHHH!!!

YOOOO CAAAAHHN'D SYEEEEEE MYEEEEAHH!!!

Why does this photo remind me Southland Tales...oh yeah, because essentially, Californians have The Rock as their governator.

The crazy thing is when he uses the vocoder ala Frampton, and makes his guitar say "Are you Sarah Connaaaah?" Mind blowing. He even has the inflatable pig (Maria Shriver).

by **Seppuku** on Sat Mar 08, 2008 5:24 am

I have stared into the void- and it stared right back at me...

I'm hung-over and this is really the last thing I need to see right now. BUT I CAN'T TURN IT OFF!!!

[Link Courtesy of the Good Cap'n.]

by **AtomicHyperbole** on Sat Mar 08, 2008 6:12 am

Thanks, hung over here too but now but feel much better. :wink:

NOT.

by **vicious_bastard** on Sat Mar 08, 2008 6:45 am

Not a movie moment, but Schwarzenegger aficionados will appreciate this, from the blog of English folk guitarist (ex-Fairport Convention) and LA resident Richard Thompson. It's worth the time to read it properly.

Apologies for the sheer length of this post, but it brings together all the hilarious Arnie anecdotes which have peppered Thompson's blog for the last four years and gives you a taste of what the man is like in real (or as real as it gets for him) life. Wonderfully written. Go listen to 'Shoot Out The Lights' if you haven't heard of him - great record.

Best line for me has to be "In China, they love me...I am like a god over there! But back in California, everything goes wrongâ€¦my special election is a disaster, organized labour hates me, my war chest is empty. Why canâ€™t I just be leader of the Chinese people?â€

by **Pacino86845** on Sat Mar 08, 2008 7:03 am

seppukudkurosawa wrote:I have stared into the void- and it stared right back at me...

I'm hung-over and this is really the last thing I need to see right now. BUT I CAN'T TURN IT OFF!!!

[Link Courtesy of the Good Cap'n.]

Heheheh, here's the "original" in case anyone's wondering: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hlxoyw_8I7I

by **Seppuku** on Sat Mar 08, 2008 8:01 am

VB, I'm a big Richard Thompson fan (probably not as big as Dennis MM, but I still love his stuff), so that is definitely up there with the top ten most surreal things I've read on teh Zone. I mean, his relationship with Arnie is one thing, but does he really strike you as the kind of guy who'd end up coaching a football team in LA? I guess it must be like when a Brit goes to Thailand and ends up getting a job teaching English, even though he doesn't know a word of Thai. "He's from Beckham country, so he must know something about soccer."

Glad to hear Wolfy Schwarzenegger got his just desserts too. I don't know what he looks like, but in my head I've got an image of a young Rainier Wolfcastle singing, "My bologna has a first name, it's F-R-I-T-Z. My bologna has a second name itâ€™s S-C-H-N-A-C-K-E-N-P-F-E-F-F-E-R-H-A-U-S-E-N."

by **DaleTremont** on Tue Mar 25, 2008 11:28 pm

When he punches that camel in the face in Conan.

lolzers

Gets me every time!

by **DennisMM** on Wed Mar 26, 2008 1:19 am

I just caught up with this thread. No, RT doesn't seem a likely soccer coach. But you forget, dads of young second families can change in many ways.

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