Best Song Titles

[Seppuku]

There's a band called Half Man Half Biscuit who pretty much have this market locked up. Quite a lot of the time, their song titles are better than the actual songs themselves. A few examples:

Joy Division Oven Gloves

Styx Gig (I've Just Seen my Mates Coming Out Of A)

It's Cliched to be Cynical at Christmas

We Built This Village on a Trad. Arr Tune

I Love You (Because You Look Like Jim Reeves)





Also, there are quite a few country songs whose titles preclude the need to ever have to listen to the songs themselves, thank God:


Get Your Tongue Outta My Mouth 'Cause I'm Kissing
You Goodbye

Her Teeth Was Stained, But Her Heart Was Pure

How Can I Miss You If You Won't Go Away?

Don't Know Whether To Kill Myself Or Go Bowling

Just Bought A Car From A Guy That Stole My Girl,
But The Car Don't Run, So I Figure We Got An Even Deal

Still Miss You Baby, But My Aim's Gettin' Better

You're the Reason Our Kids Are So Ugly

[Fawst]

Girlfriend In A Coma - The Smiths
Tripping On A Hole In A Paper Heart - Stone Temple Pilots
Boot To The Head - Da Yoopers
Brushstroke: dcbtfoabbaapasba - dredg (short for Dream Caused by the Flight of a Bee around a Pomegranate a Second Before Awakening, a painting by Salvador Dali)

[Zarles]

Nirvana - I Hate Myself and Want To Die

[Nachokoolaid]

D'Yer Mak'er - Led Zeppelin

Without a doubt, the #1 most mispronounced song title in the history of music.

[Bayouwolf]

Frank Zappa "Titties and beer"

[The Vicar]

Broken Hearts Are for Assholes
Frank Zappa

[Keepcoolbutcare]

"Pussy Control" - Prince

"Crack Whore Blues" - The Neckbones

"It's the End of the World as we Know It (and I feel fine)" - R.E.M.

"How a Resurrection Really Feels" - The Hold Steady

"Kill Your Television" - Ned's Atomic Dustbin

[LaDracul]

You Can't Rollerskate in a Buffalo Herd-Roger Miller

[yaz67]

Jesus Thinks You're A Jerk - Frank Zappa

[stereosforgeeks]

If we can land a man on the moon surely I can win your heart - Beulah

[Zarles]

Beck - .000.000
Beastie Boys - Hail Sagan
Dr. Octagon - A Visit To The Gynecologyst

[Vegeta]

Elliott Smith "A Distorted Realitiy is Now a Neccesity to be Free"
Thursday "Understanding in a Car Crash"
Coheed and Cambria "Once Upon Your Dead Body"

[The Vicar]

Crack Whore Blues?
I gots to check that out....

[Retardo_Montalban]

Fred Wolff Combo - Somebody Else Was Suckin' My Dick Last Night

The Toppers - (I Love To Play Your Piano) Let Me Bang Your Box

[Ribbons]

Fred Wolff Combo - Somebody Else Was Suckin' My Dick Last Night

Maybe this just speaks to my inner juvenile sense of humor, but I rate that the best song title EVAR!


I've always been amused by Fall Out Boy's song titles, particularly:

-"Don't You Know Who I Think I Am?"

-"Carpal Tunnel of Love"

-"I Slept With Someone in Fall Out Boy and All I Got Was This Stupid Song Written About Me"

[minstrel]

Other country song titles:

Drop Kick Me, Jesus, Through the Goalposts of Life
If the Phone Doesn't Ring, It's Me
All My Exes Live in Texas

[The Garbage Man]

Say Anything - "You're the Wanker, If Anyone Is"
Godspeed You! Black Emperor - "Motherfucker = Redeemer"
In Flames - "Your Bedtime Story Is Scaring Everyone"

[St. Alphonzo]

Other country song titles:

Drop Kick Me, Jesus, Through the Goalposts of Life
If the Phone Doesn't Ring, It's Me
All My Exes Live in Texas

More!

My Wife Ran Off With My Best Friend, And I Miss Him
It's Commode Huggin' Time In The Valley
I Don't Know Whether To Kill Myself Or Go Bowling

[Ribbons]

My Wife Ran Off With My Best Friend, And I Miss Him

Hehehe... NEW best song title evar!

[St. Alphonzo]

Dead Kennedys: "Too Drunk To Fuck"
Monster Bobby: "The Closest Experience To That Of Being With You Is The Experience Of Taking Drugs"
The Stooges: "I Wanna Be Your Dog"
Yo La Tengo: "Pass The Hatchet, I Think I'm Goodkind"
Captain Beefheart: "Making Love To A Vampire With A Monkey On My Knee"

I'll think of better ones later I'm sure...

[minstrel]

Pink Floyd:

Careful With That Axe, Eugene

Several Species of Small Furry Animals Gathered Together in a Cave and Grooving with a Pict

[tapehead]

Set the controls for the Heart of the Pelvis - Barry Adamson with Jarvis Cocker (from the album 'Oedipus Schmoedipus')

Lessons learned from Rocky I to Rocky III - Cornershop

Young, Dumb and Full of Cum - Whale

[Bayouwolf]

Wow, has this thread digressed into EFBR fodder.

I hope I'm not completely to blame... 8)


I always thought OU812 was a cool album title. Even if it was by Van Hagar...

[DennisMM]

"An Acceptable Level of Ecstasy (The Wedding Song)" - Lyle Lovett

"I've Got Tears in My Ears (From Lyin' on Back in My Bed as I Cry Over You)" - Homer & Jethro

"You're Breakin' My Heart (You're Tearin' It Apart, So Fuck You)" - Harry Nilsson

[Seppuku]

My personal favourite:

John Cale - The Man Who Couldn't Afford to Orgy

[St. Alphonzo]

"An Acceptable Level of Ecstasy (The Wedding Song)" - Lyle Lovett

The title is great, but the song itself is funnier!

But nobody knew
That the flowers were furnished by the funeral parlor
and the whole thing was paid for by the funeral director
who poisoned the saxophone section.

Good stuff.

[DennisMM]

What was Lyle smoking that afternoon? Half of it's racial-struggle commentary and the rest morbid surrealism.

[Bayouwolf]

What was Lyle smoking that afternoon? Half of it's racial-struggle commentary and the rest morbid surrealism.

Julia's used panties...

[St. Alphonzo]

"Just Dropped In (To See What Condition My Condition Was In)" by Plastic Man and...er... Kenny Rogers and The First Edition
"If You Don't Start Drinking (I'm Gonna Leave)" - George Thorogood
"White Punks On Dope" - The Tubes
"Don't You Ever Wash That Thing?" - Zappa
"No Christmas While I'm Talking" - The Walkmen
"Let's Make Love And Listen To Death From Above" - CSS

[DennisMM]

"Does This Bus Stop At 82nd Street?" - Bruce Springsteen ('cos what the hell kinda title is that?)

[KarmicRelief]

Bloodhound Gang - The Lapdance Is So Much Better When the Stripper is Crying

[Dee E. Goppstober]

Bloodhound Gang - The Lapdance Is So Much Better When the Stripper is Crying

The Bloodhound Gang don't always are the height of subtle humour, but this one I find very funny too.

"Just Dropped In (To See What Condition My Condition Was In)" by Plastic Man and...er... Kenny Rogers and The First Edition
"If You Don't Start Drinking (I'm Gonna Leave)" - George Thorogood
"White Punks On Dope" - The Tubes
"Don't You Ever Wash That Thing?" - Zappa
"No Christmas While I'm Talking" - The Walkmen
"Let's Make Love And Listen To Death From Above" - CSS

Great selection. Especially the first one - that's a song that can be on repeat all day long.

There must be more goodness from Zappa too, I'm sure. Maybe - "Don't Eat The Yellow Snow' or "Why Does It Hurt When I Pee?"

To further add to the list:

"I'll Never Get Out Of This World Alive" - Hank Williams
"Can your Pussy Do The Dog?" - The Cramps
"Crack Hitler" - Faith No More

[Al Shut]

Wie ich den Marilyn-Manson-Änlichkeitswettbewerb verlor - Farin Urlaub

translates to: How I lost the Marilyn Manson lookalike-contest

[Zarles]

Country songs have some of the dumbest titles/lyrics ever. I've heard two that have the words "Tequila makes her clothes fall off" and "Her favorite color is chrome" in them. No, really.

[Fawst]

She Thinks My Tractor's Sexy is a good title.

[Bayouwolf]

Two of a kind, workin' on a full house

Garth Brooks has some catchy titles too...

[DerLanghaarige]

Wie ich den Marilyn-Manson-Änlichkeitswettbewerb verlor - Farin Urlaub

Wanted to post that one too, but my substitute is just:

There's Something Very Wrong With Us So Let's Go Out Tonight - Electric Six

[Ribbons]

This probably wouldn't qualify as one of the best titles EVAR, but I'm amused by the name of Phantogram's song, Running from the Cops:

[TheBaxter]

i wouldn't run from that cop.

[Ribbons]

This is actually an album title, but Bury Me At Makeout Creek by Mitski

[Peven]

Careful With That Ax, Eugene