Power Ballad Dust-Up Round II! X-Tians don't Cry!

[St. Alphonzo]

I can't believe that REO is losing this battle.

Fuckin' Journey Rules.

Hi inFidelity kicks Escape's ass.


Buster may be right.

[buster00]

REO has never had a video game named after them.

Journey had two.





Advantage: Journey.

[St. Alphonzo]

Yeah? Well Journey never had a fire engine named after... er... um... nevermind.

I used to play that stand-up Journey videogame. You haven't lived until you've heard casiotone versions of all Jouney songs.

[DennisMM]

And here I was wasting my quarters on Tron: Lightcycles.

[The Vicar]

Man, I thought REO would keep it a bit closer than that.

[Lord Voldemoo]

Man, I thought REO would keep it a bit closer than that.

Me too! Don't Stop Believin' is the better song, but the REO has always had a special place in my heart for some reason...

[Retardo_Montalban]

Is there going to be any more power ballad face-offs? Because these songs are fine, but Carry on my Wayward Son by Kansas kicks all kinds of ass.




Can't have a power ballad without one of these, boys.

I voted Journey. Never that big into REO.

[The Vicar]

Carry On would be hard to beat.

[Retardo_Montalban]

Nigh impossible. I swear, you just have to mouth the first 5 words and everyone within a 10 foot radius will join in and probably add some instrumental accompaniment.

[DinoDeLaurentiis]

Yes, but that's a not really a the power ballad, eh? Power ballads, they inna'volve a the man professing his a longing for a the woman, no? Not a some self-inna'dulgent progressive rock crappa about a some putz onna the goddamn boat, eh?

[Retardo_Montalban]

Yes, but that's a not really a the power ballad, eh? Power ballads, they inna'volve a the man professing his a longing for a the woman, no? Not a some self-inna'dulgent progressive rock crappa about a some putz onna the goddamn boat, eh?

Why's it got to be about a man and a woman? You some homophobic bigot or something? Maybe Kansas doesn't like women, maybe Kansas likes boys/sons/wayward sons. You can't tell me that Journey isn't prog. rock either, old man. Hell, "I'm gonna leave you" has the same riffs as "Wayward Son".

[Bayouwolf]

Anyone else see the egg and the sperm?

[burlivesleftnut]

Carry On is definitely not a ballad. Next someone's going to suggest Stairway to Heaven or Sail Away. Dorks.

[burlivesleftnut]

Forget a the goddamn Queensryche, eh?

It's alla 'bout a the goddamn Kiss anna "Beth", no?

That song is horrible dude. Kiss is horrible. Just HORRIBLE.

[The Vicar]

Yes, but that's a not really a the power ballad, eh? Power ballads, they inna'volve a the man professing his a longing for a the woman, no? Not a some self-inna'dulgent progressive rock crappa about a some putz onna the goddamn boat, eh?

Why's it got to be about a man and a woman?

Yeah.
One of the best songs The Tubes did
was called Brighter Day, and was described as
"a love song for an unspecified object".

Free thinking, man.
Far fooking out.

[The Vicar]

Forget a the goddamn Queensryche, eh?

It's alla 'bout a the goddamn Kiss anna "Beth", no?

That song is horrible dude. Kiss is horrible. Just HORRIBLE.

Word squared.

[Peven]

Forget a the goddamn Queensryche, eh?

It's alla 'bout a the goddamn Kiss anna "Beth", no?

That song is horrible dude. Kiss is horrible. Just HORRIBLE.

Word squared.

and cubed

[Bayouwolf]

Forget a the goddamn Queensryche, eh?

It's alla 'bout a the goddamn Kiss anna "Beth", no?

That song is horrible dude. Kiss is horrible. Just HORRIBLE.

You are so wrong brother.....That was, by far, the best song in the whole damn concert.

When else during the show are you gonna hit the pisser? Surely not during "God of Thunder" or "Domino"...

[Retardo_Montalban]

Carry On is definitely not a ballad. Next someone's going to suggest Stairway to Heaven or Sail Away. Dorks.

Stairway is a ballad. My definition is a narrative/poem that is sung to a slow iambic meter. A power ballad has electric guitar added. I also count Pink Floyd's "Comfortably Numb" as a ballad. Space Oddity is a ballad as well. Come sail away also follows an iambic meter, so it can be classified as a ballad. Were you being scarcastic or something, Burl???¿

Maybe you're referring to the certain ballads popularized by romanticism in the 18th century which were the first to really have musical accompaniment and usually included a love story.

I just read the definition of a power ballad is a ballad that is a love song with electrical instruments. I guess these songs are just regular ballads then, with kick ass guitar.

[burlivesleftnut]

So you just decided to post that even though you agree with me anyway? TELL HELL WITH YOUR PENTAMETERS AND ROMANTICISMS.

I may be wrong, but I thought we were here to rock!

[minstrel]

Carry On Wayward Son is not a power ballad. It's too uptempo. Its rhythm is too propulsive - it's a straight-out rock song. It has some prog elements (Yay!) but it's a rock song.

If Comfortably Numb is a power ballad, it sure is a non-traditional one. I don't consider it one, that' for sure.

I think one of the most excruciating power ballads is Love Hurts, by Nazareth. Their singer is utterly vomit-wrenching. Unlistenable.

[Bayouwolf]

Would "Love Stinks" qualify?
I mean, it's got that hammer-on riff going for it....

[Zarles]

Can we move on to the next round now? Don't Stop Believin' is the greatest power ballad ever written. Period. I can't wait to see what song is next so I can watch it get its schmaltzy '80s ass kicked, too.

And there's no GODDAMNED g in it, either.

[Retardo_Montalban]

So you just decided to post that even though you agree with me anyway? TELL HELL WITH YOUR PENTAMETERS AND ROMANTICISMS.

I may be wrong, but I thought we were here to rock!

I agree with Dino.

[Keepcoolbutcare]

Can we move on to the next round now?

dude, the thread started a mere two days ago, it looked like it was going to crash 'n burn after a disastrous opening, and I'm thoroughly enjoying Burl's scathing rebuttals of various non-power ballad ballads that have been enthusiastically, if wrongfully, suggested.

plus, not exactly my genre, as evidenced by the questionable selection of "Don't Stop Believing" - "Open Arms", unquestionably, and I think my poor REO would've at least put up a fight against that tune...in short, I need suggestions.

speaking of which, judges!*

"Sister Christian" isn't up for much debate, but I would be cheating with "Jessie's Girl", right? I wanted to set up a battle of the back to back bing deal gone awry BOOGIE NIGHTS ballads, but, alas, my own rigid nerd inflexibility won't allow it.

But expect "Sister Christian" sometime soon...

[burlivesleftnut]

We should make these songs available for download during the contest.

[Retardo_Montalban]

Or you can just look it up on you tube.

[burlivesleftnut]

But then I can't add them to my Power Ballad playlist and rock you the fuck out.

[buster00]

I think one of the most excruciating power ballads is Love Hurts, by Nazareth. Their singer is utterly vomit-wrenching. Unlistenable.

I have never liked any version of "Love Hurts."

I didn't like the Everly Brothers' original, I didn't like Roy Orbison's cover, and I despise Nazareth's version.

It's another good reason the CD was invented...so you can rock out on the Hair of the Dog album without having to sit through "Love Hurts."

[burlivesleftnut]

Love Hurts is indeed a bad song.

[St. Alphonzo]

How about "Play The Game" by Queen? Or "If You Want My Love" by Cheap Trick. Both most excellent power-ballads from just immediately before the time that the hair bands made the "power ballad" a necessity.

[DennisMM]

Any song with a tempo above middle is not a ballad, IMO. So "Come Sail Away" definitely does not qualify.

"Beth" is a ballad but not a power ballad. All of the instrumentation and the mix are low-key. It has no "bigness" to it. Which probably explains why so many Kiss Army brats hated it.

[buster00]

"Beth" is a ballad but not a power ballad. All of the instrumentation and the mix are low-key. It has no "bigness" to it. Which probably explains why so many Kiss Army brats hated it.

On the other hand, Kiss was a big, power group. That's gotta count for points on the Power Ballad Scale.

Much like "Patience" by Guns n' Roses.

[Keepcoolbutcare]

We should make these songs available for download during the contest.

yeah, I know - I only had "Keep on Loving You" through itunes and it was all DRM'd up.

Will do for the future though, may need some help from others in that regard though.

[burlivesleftnut]

"Beth" is a ballad but not a power ballad. All of the instrumentation and the mix are low-key. It has no "bigness" to it. Which probably explains why so many Kiss Army brats hated it.

On the other hand, Kiss was a big, power group. That's gotta count for points on the Power Ballad Scale.

Much like "Patience" by Guns n' Roses.

Buster is right. For a long time, I also harbored the ignorance that "power" ballads needed to have big sweeping power chords for it to deserve their name. Similarly, I thought they had to follow the start small, go big, back to small some more, and then just biggin it up for the next 5 minutes throughline, but in truth, a power ballad is merely a ballad (by pop music standards Retardo), which means it's a love song, a song of heart ache or a song of longing, but sung by a band traditionally seen as being harder rocking. By your standards, Dennis, "Open Arms" wouldn't be a power ballad because it contains a relatively low tempo throughout, but the fact is, "Open Arms" is almost a DEFINITIVE Power Ballad.

And Max, just let us know if you need help finding the music. We could end up creating the greatest power ballad mix of all time. One so powerful that it might spread rockin' love throughout the world.

[buster00]

"Beth" is a ballad but not a power ballad. All of the instrumentation and the mix are low-key. It has no "bigness" to it. Which probably explains why so many Kiss Army brats hated it.

On the other hand, Kiss was a big, power group. That's gotta count for points on the Power Ballad Scale.

Much like "Patience" by Guns n' Roses.

Buster is right. For a long time, I also harbored the ignorance that "power" ballads needed to have big sweeping power chords for it to deserve their name. Similarly, I thought they had to follow the start small, go big, back to small some more, and then just biggin it up for the next 5 minutes throughline, but in truth, a power ballad is merely a ballad (by pop music standards Retardo), which means it's a love song, a song of heart ache or a song of longing, but sung by a band traditionally seen as being harder rocking. By your standards, Dennis, "Open Arms" wouldn't be a power ballad because it contains a relatively low tempo throughout, but the fact is, "Open Arms" is almost a DEFINITIVE Power Ballad.

Ouch, dude! Put this on.



I don't like "Beth" any more than you do, but I still think it counts as a power ballad.

When the same band who did "Calling Dr. Love" and "Detroit Rock City" records a shitty love song, that files under "Power Ballad," yes no?

[burlivesleftnut]

I was, uh... agreeing with you. Note:

Buster is right.

[buster00]

I was, uh... agreeing with you. Note:

Buster is right.

I'm so used to your bitterness, I couldn't tell!

I was reading into this:

By your standards, Dennis, "Open Arms" wouldn't be a power ballad because it contains a relatively low tempo throughout, but the fact is, "Open Arms" is almost a DEFINITIVE Power Ballad.

"Open Arms" is SUCH a power ballad, and a good one!

So is Journey's "Lights." Yes no?

[burlivesleftnut]

Oh man Lights is a turrible song. Journey is good, but to me they only have like 5 good songs:

Open Arms
Don't Stop Believin'
Wheel in the Sky
Stone in Love
Anyway You Want It

The rest, to in my opinion anyway, is such fluffy crap. As far as late-70s, early 80s cheese, I always found Styx to be a much more thorough rock experience.

But that's only my opinion.

True story though (I am about to go all Dennis on your ass!), I wasn't able to listen to Don't Stop Believin' for nearly a decade because it dredged up all these old memories of living with my first step-dad, who was an evil old drunk devil. But then I got over it... cause that's what people who watch The Legend of Billy Jean do... they fight and they don't worry about fighting because we're invincible and shit.

Now I love Don't Stop Believin'. Still takes me back to those dark dark days though.

[DennisMM]

I would never argue that "Open Arms" is not a power ballad. However, I've just listened to "Beth" a few times. I don't care what has been written. To me, a power ballad has to contain obvious rock elements. "Beth" has the vocal harmonies during the chorus and the big orchestral swell before the last verse. But the latter was stolen from the Beatles, who didn't do power ballads.

Yeah, I'm never gonna admit I'm wrong (though I might have just done so - syntax is a tricky thing sometimes).

True story though (I am about to go all Dennis on your ass!)

And you did it well.

[minstrel]

To me, a power ballad is a ballad that is performed in a "power rock" kind of way. Big electric guitar chords. Crashing drums. Throbbing bass. If you don't have guitar, then substitute huge keyboards (Vanilla Fudge did early power ballads without guitars).

Take "Fire and Rain", by James Taylor. It's a ballad, and in his version, it's all acoustic and intimate and that's ok. But if someone were to play it with massive guitar crunch and drum thunder, along with an over-the-top vocal, it would become a power ballad.

I haven't heard "Beth" for a long time, but as I recall, it is not a power ballad. Sure, Kiss is a straight-out rock group, but that doesn't mean they always play rock. "Beth" is an ordinary ballad, and the reputation of Kiss doesn't make it a "power ballad". That's ridiculous.

[BuckyO'harre]

~

[minstrel]

What the hell?
> Putzes... <

Lameness personified. It's a standard rock song, not a "power ballad". And a complete waste of decibels.

[Keepcoolbutcare]

I had my first real kiss to "Keep On Lovin' You." It was at my 8th-Grade Night Dance, and this chick named Ruth, who had liked me since 6th-grade, but I kept putting off, asked me to dance. Ruth had "developed" early... in 5th grade she was a 36B, and her Amazon-like size scared me off, seeing as how she was taller than I was.

But now, it was 8th grade, and I was finally taller than she was. As we were dancing, she kept telling me how much she had always liked me, and as Kevin Cronin belted out "Baby I'm gonna keeeeeeep on lovin' yoooouuuuu! 'Cos it's the only thing I wanna doooooooo!!" she looked up into my eyes and said "Kiss me."

This was it! This was my moment! So I did what any other red-blooded 13-year-old boy would do and I jammed my tongue down her thoat, trying my best to suck out her adenoids, uvula, tonsils... the works. A la francais!

So romantic.

True story though (I am about to go all Dennis on your ass!), I wasn't able to listen to Don't Stop Believin' for nearly a decade because it dredged up all these old memories of living with my first step-dad, who was an evil old drunk devil. But then I got over it... cause that's what people who watch The Legend of Billy Jean do... they fight and they don't worry about fighting because we're invincible and shit.

Now I love Don't Stop Believin'. Still takes me back to those dark dark days though.

aside from the debate over what qualifies a track as a proper power ballad, my favorite bits of this surprisingly still thriving thread are the various reminisces and ruminations to both how certain songs get scratched into our souls...

and the AWESOME MUSICAL POWER of a particularly well crafted power ballad...

[burlivesleftnut]

Thanks, but since you started this madness, I think you need to lay some ground rules about what a proper Power Ballad is. The wiki I linked to earlier is a good place to start, but that might not be definitive enough for you. This is your chance to shine, Man w/ Lickable Calves. Don't let us down.

[Retardo_Montalban]

Any song with a tempo above middle is not a ballad, IMO. So "Come Sail Away" definitely does not qualify.

wait a minute, Journey's "Don't stop believin'" is way more up tempo than "Come Sail Away". Does that mean that KCBC's whole face-off is a sham??¿ This whole power ballad thing is sounding dodgier by the post.

[DennisMM]

John Waite, "Missing You," 1984. It was perfect for the moment. After two years I finally wasn't missing the grad student who'd become almost an obsession after our brief relationship. Sure, there was a storm raging through my frozen heart, but I wasn't missing her at all.

The video is wonderful, trying so desperately to be cool with its blend of color and B&W, the bare loft apartments, the photographer/model relationship with the Asian girlfriend and the slo-mo when Waite shatters the receiver on the pay phone. Waite's look is the apotheosis of early '80s New Wave hipster, from the t-shirt under the sports jacket (why aren't the sleeves pushed up?) to the wedge hair cut and the teardrop earring. I looked like that for a while and I heard the song hundreds of times on radio and MTV and thousands of times in my head.

[burlivesleftnut]

Just a ballad, Dennis. John Waite was never known for rocking out. In fact all he he was known for was Missing You... which is a BALLAD.

[Zarles]

Def Leppard - Photograph?

[Retardo_Montalban]

Def Leppard - Photograph?

Sorry Zarles, the song was recorded before Rick Allen lost his Arm. Photograph is definitely not a power ballad.