What have you been watching? (DVD or Films on TV)

[DerLanghaarige]

They straight dropped the ball when Harry confronts the Commish. That should've been an intense scene of power and violence(!) but was somehow upstaged by a werewolf with an eating disorder.

I know, the werewolf design is not very popular, but I love it. Those long, spider-like arms and legs are just downright creepy and the sound of the howl sends chills down my spine.

I also noticed that the word "Harry" isn't censored anymore.

[Spandau Belly]

WARRIOR

In this film Tom Hardy plays Channing Tatum. While in war, he decides to quit and hitchhike back to America. Along the way he rips the door off a sinking tank and saves the people inside, then he catches a ride or steals a bicycle or something and goes back stateside. The army doesn't really take deserting very seriously. They don't bother looking for him in places such as the homes of his two living relatives. He developes an addiction to perscription meds, a habit he then kicks instantly with no effort and is never mentioned again. He trains in mixed martial arts with his estranged father who he deeply resents, yet the two avoid speaking about personal matters until the climax of the film because it is rude to talk over montage music.

Tatum will face many opponents in the big tournament. The plot sets it up that Ivan Drago's son has followed in his father's footsteps and despite being a man who was likely in kindergarten when the Soviet Union ended, he loves the soviet flag and displays it patriotically at his fights. The other potential opponent is his estranged brother, played Joel Edgerton. Edgerton is an all around great guy who believes really really deeply in making his mortgage payments. When he loses his job as a high school teacher, his love of mortgage payments is threatened. BTW, I like that they made him a regular high school teacher. Making him one of those teachers who inspires ghetto kids would've been a bit too much. He seems like one of those proud types who wouldn't be cool with sharing his wife with the general public, so it leaves very few options to make quick money. He quickly gets back in fighting shape and enters the big tournament.

This whole film takes place over the amount of time it takes to listen to Moby Dick on audiobook, so about 7 hours. That really makes me respect the athletisism of these dudes.

This film is generally pretty good. The characters are well established and the tournament is well fleshed out, but the film does feel a bit like something is missing in the middle. I probably would've liked an even longer cut of this film with a few more character moments during the training, especially between Hardy and his dad played by Nick Nolte. But it's a satisfying movie and I liked it.

[Ye Black Knight]

Behold! For this knight hath just witnessed "Shark Zone"!



Tremendous tale of oceanic predators hellbent upon biting and eating all whom enter theire watery realm! These particular beasts growl'eth just as lions in ye darkest jungle; before ripping and chewing ye most delicate flesh from miserable victims!

One beach constable dares to face this legion of sleek, toothsome slayers, as well as Prussian treasure-hunters, whom pursue'eth diamonds from a sunken undersea galley.

Verily, this knight was most satisfied with this tale's most gratuitous gore, yet downhearted was I with an appalling lack of nudity and literally no copulations! In a saga create'thd for home videos and sporting an R rating!!! Dear The Zone'ians, I ask thee: are not softcore pornographies implied with a film of such stature? And, in true artistry, what better way to contrast ye mortality of ye modern scuba'ist, then to show vigorous and acrobatic fornications?

Besides this bitter disappointment this knight give'th this saga 2 horns up!

This post now concludeth!

[Spandau Belly]

HANNA

I got this movie for Christmas and so I watched it for the second time. I liked it back in cinemas but found it really grew on me the second time. I was more patient this time with the English hippy family, who I found to be a bit too quarky and comic reliefish the first time I saw the film.

I still think Cate Blanchette is the weak link. The way her accent changes from one line to the next is really distracting, and her "I'm evil" face looks like Dennis Quaid's "I'm trying to act" face. I think Catherine Zeta-Jones probably would've eaten this role for breakfast.

The DVD features some cut scenes. Most of which it was wise to cut them. Especially a pointless epilogue with Hanna going back to her cabin in the woods and suddenly becoming a narrator. But I think they should've left in the brief scene where a guy shows her how the internet works. I wasn't really buying it in the film when somebody raised without technology would just be googling around with no instruction.

But still, this is a beautiful and touching highbrow action feature. I like it.

[Spandau Belly]

BRIDESMAIDS

So I was home visiting my mum for Thanksgiving and after we drove my grandfather back to the old folks home I was the only dude there and it was time to pick a movie and so my mum, my sweetheart, and both sisters all decided on BRIDESMAIDS. Until Bloo's review (scroll up), I'd heard only good things but was never super interested in seeing it. I'd skipped BRIDE WARS, I have seen AMERICAN PIE III: AMERICAN WEDDING and had some laughs at that, but comedies based around all these stresses of planning weddings generally annoy me because not-so-deepdowninside I feel most weddings are way more trouble than they're worth.

This movie is your typical Judd Apatow venture and I'm sick of writing about his movies in paragraph form, so I'll just go down the list of Apatow convetions observed in this film in point form:
1) 20 - 30 minutes too long. This is a must of Apatow, and most of the problems in this and any other Apatow movie stem from this problem.
2) Poor pacing and anti-climacticness.
3) An ensemble cast that doesn't gel so much as feel like a bunch of comedians trying to out-mug each other for screentime.
4) Humour based less on setup and payoff and more based on just getting people to blurt out inappropriate things.
5) Portrayal of women as nagging shrews (this time they're the main charaters) and men as horndog doofuses.
6) Trying to be a romantic comedy while also being really scathing and bitter about just how disappointing and repressive adult relationships are.

There are definately a few laughs to be had here and there. I can't say I had a bad time watching it, but it's your usual Apatow mess of hollow comedic calories that overstays its welcome.

Whatevs.

Yeah, but is it possible to masturbate to it?

[caruso_stalker217]

BRIDESMAIDS

So I was home visiting my mum for Thanksgiving and after we drove my grandfather back to the old folks home I was the only dude there and it was time to pick a movie and so my mum, my sweetheart, and both sisters all decided on BRIDESMAIDS. Until Bloo's review (scroll up), I'd heard only good things but was never super interested in seeing it. I'd skipped BRIDE WARS, I have seen AMERICAN PIE III: AMERICAN WEDDING and had some laughs at that, but comedies based around all these stresses of planning weddings generally annoy me because not-so-deepdowninside I feel most weddings are way more trouble than they're worth.

This movie is your typical Judd Apatow venture and I'm sick of writing about his movies in paragraph form, so I'll just go down the list of Apatow convetions observed in this film in point form:
1) 20 - 30 minutes too long. This is a must of Apatow, and most of the problems in this and any other Apatow movie stem from this problem.
2) Poor pacing and anti-climacticness.
3) An ensemble cast that doesn't gel so much as feel like a bunch of comedians trying to out-mug each other for screentime.
4) Humour based less on setup and payoff and more based on just getting people to blurt out inappropriate things.
5) Portrayal of women as nagging shrews (this time they're the main charaters) and men as horndog doofuses.
6) Trying to be a romantic comedy while also being really scathing and bitter about just how disappointing and repressive adult relationships are.

There are definately a few laughs to be had here and there. I can't say I had a bad time watching it, but it's your usual Apatow mess of hollow comedic calories that overstays its welcome.

Whatevs.

Yeah, but is it possible to masturbate to it?

Is a porn parody really necessary? There are probably thousands of porn movies out there featuring horny, wet, slutty bridesmaids out there.

THOUSANDS!

It's no CLEAVAGEFIELD, is what I'm saying.

[caruso_stalker217]

So I watched the '80s cult(?)(classic[??]) horror-comedy VAMP, starring a guy who looks like a cross between Mel Gibson and Eric Roberts and another guy who looks like Hayden Christensen in Episode III. Also featured are Michelle Pfeiffer's sister who plays a stripper who doesn't strip, Gedde Watanabe as the token Asian guy, Billy Dragon, uncredited Christopher Plummer voice cameo, and Grace Jones looking sometimes incredibly hideous and extremely fuckable (if you're me). It kinda ran out of steam in the last twenty minutes, but there were some good jokes and such, some laffs, some good times, Grace Jones doing a weird "dance" and nobody seems to know how to react. That kind of shit. Yeah, I'd hit it.

Good effort, '80s.

[Spandau Belly]

THE IDES OF MARCH

For some reason I really wanted to see this movie even though I'm not really interested in American politics. It turned out to be absolutely fucking awesome. The dialogue isn't as punchy or as macho as David Mamet would write, but it's that same brand of white collar powerculture that I really dig and this fucker is built like a Swiss watch. I always find Ryan Gosling very easy to relate to and he gives another solid performance here. He's handed a good character arc and when we get to that powerful ending where we the audience are just looking at this fucking guy it all hits home just how much he's changed over the course of the film. Clooney is also trying way harder at that acting stuff than I've seen him try in a long time. The cast is rounded out well with Phil S Hoffman and Paul Giamatti playing to type, and Evan Rachel Wood playing to my pants.

Since the film is about politics, I don't think there's any way to discuss it without mentioning the politics. I think the film plays better if you are a socialist (which I am), and I think it plays even better if you're an American (which I am not), and probably even better if you live and breathe this campaign shit (which I also do not). I think you do have agree with most of Clooney's character's poltical beliefs to really feel the film. If you're some sort of Republican rightwing hawk who believes g@ys are evil and the wealthy need to be emancipated from taxes and war is the best way to solve most household problems, then you probably won't really feel the emotional beats of this film. You might still enjoy it as an acedemic curiousity the same way non-Nazis can watch a film like DOWNFALL and enjoy it.

Overall, I would say this is a perfect film. It realizes all its themes perfectly and with a solid cast across the board. I fucking loved it.

The only thing I can criticize about this movie is its poster:



Seriously, I get what they're going for here with the visual concept of the power behind the throne, but it's one of those things that just didn't come together. Gosling looks awkward holding that magazine in a way that nobody would ever hold a magazine and it all looks like these layers photoshopped on top of each other with Gosling's face then the magazine then the hand holding the magazine just awkwardly pasted on top of each other. Plus, Clooney looking like Chazz Palminteri doesn't give off a good Presidential vibe. So nice try with the concept on that poster, but it just didn't pan out.

[Bloo]

I've been waffling on watching IDES OF MARCH as it seems like the kind of overly preachy political crap that I don't like (looking at you Aaron Sorkin) but if it evokes more like Mamet then color me interested. Thanks for the review Spandau

[caruso_stalker217]

I have also been debating whether or not I should watch IDES OF MARCH, since I'm not into stuff that is too lefty and overly-liberal and (as Bloo said) preachy. And I am a fuckin liberal. But I think I'll check it out now. Thanks, Spandau.

[Ribbons]

There are moments in The Ides of March that will probably get on your nerves, mostly involving Mike Morris' platform, which is basically Clooney's wet dream and not realistic in any way. But that kind of over-the-top idealism is necessary to set up what happens later, and it's really secondary to the plot, which is about the backstabbing, kingmaking world of these campaign lifers. I liked it.

Something that occurred to me while I was watching the film was that all of Clooney's directorial efforts feel like they were made by a different person. It's strange. If I had to list the things they had in common, all I'd be able to say is that two of them (this and Good Night and Good Luck) were about politics.

[Bloo]

There are moments in The Ides of March that will probably get on your nerves, mostly involving Mike Morris' platform, which is basically Clooney's wet dream and not realistic in any way. But that kind of over-the-top idealism is necessary to set up what happens later, and it's really secondary to the plot, which is about the backstabbing, kingmaking world of these campaign lifers. I liked it.

Something that occurred to me while I was watching the film was that all of Clooney's directorial efforts feel like they were made by a different person. It's strange. If I had to list the things they had in common, all I'd be able to say is that two of them (this and Good Night and Good Luck) were about politics.

Yeah Cloony is a...diverse (I was going to say weird but it's not that) director. It's like he can't decide if he wants to be quirky or serious

[Spandau Belly]

I think it was necessary to be explicit about Clooney's platform in the film. I don't think the film would've worked if you just left it so that all the other characters believe he's a good man or if Clooney just spoke in vague rousing non-statements that every politician says about "helping the good people" and "building a strong tomorrow" blah blah blah. We in the audience need to hear his specific ideas and those ideas need to be revoluntionary in the context of the American political scene for the whole film to work. We the audience need to see why people would really believe in this guy and think that the righteousness of his message would put him above the mud-slinging of other politicians.

But the film is not about his political platform. Like Ribbons said, it focuses on the backstage powerculture of these campaign guys. The film explores an interesting theme. There's a key conversation in the film where Clooney is on a talk show discussing the death penalty and how society's strength is that it is worth more than the sum of its parts. Clooney tells the talk show host how the ideals of a group need to be more important than the strength or weakness of any one man, including himself. In my opinion, this becomes the point of the film.

[Spandau Belly]

CONTAGION

I have seen many bad films in my life, but for the most part I can see what they were trying to do and where they went wrong. To say that CONTAGION failed is to imply that it ever tried and that would be giving it too much respect. Steve Soderbergh has crafted a textbook case of a non-movie that doesn't even seem to want be entertaining, thought-provoking, or emotionally compelling. This film is a procedural in the worst sense of the word. We watch a modern plague scenario play out with absolutely zero originality or the attention to detail it would take to make it informative.

You could say that this movie could be summed by saying that "People get sick and die, the general public panics while medical professionals work to find and distribute a vaccine" but that wouldn't be a *summary* because there really is nothing more to this movie. It has no plot, just a scenario. You spend the movie watching field researchers collect samples and data, send the data to the lab, and then the lab researchers try different things until something works. If looking at a dude looking at a chart is your idea of entertainment, then CONTAIGON is the movie for you.

The high-profile cast all collect an easy paycheck for their respective five minutes of screentime playing characters that are less than one dimensional. Most characters are defined exclusively by their job and they neither get a character arc nor a plotline, all they get is a task. Morpheus is probably the only actor to possibly get more than 10 minutes of screentime because he is the top dog at America's Centre For Disease Control and so his character interacts with most of the other characters asking for status updates. So we breeze through this cast watching various characters do exactly what you'd expect them to do because it's their job and all we know about any of them is their job. Collecting data. Looking at maps and charts. Chin stroking. Brow furrowing. Looking into microscopes. These characters come as quickly as they go and Soderbergh breaks up the non-character development with the occassional montage of people touching dooknobs and Asian people coughing on the metro set to TRON music.

The film starts with a sly dig at M. Night's THE HAPPENING . But THE HAPPENING and even any given stupid medical drama tv show understand something that CONTAGION does not, and that's that textbook scenarios and process are not entertaining in themselves, audiences need some sort of human drama they can connect with.

When I did my review of films in 2011, I couldn't think of a film that really stood out as the worst of the year so I didn't name one, now I feel that search is over. CONTAGION is the worst film of 2011.

P.S.
Hubba-hubba. I mean, seriously, yo. Kate Winslet as a field researcher, Marion Cotillard as a top plague investigator, Jennifer Elhe as a lab researcher. I half expected Christina Hendricks to show up as the President of the United States.

[Yelsaeb]

I've been viddying some Godzilla. I'm finally taking the chance to watch all 29 in a complete streak. Well, 28 of those 29. I don't have acces to Godzilla vs. Megalon. I did have a piece of crap VHS of it but it recently went busto. I'm about to watch Son of Godzilla. I did also buy the Color Purple on blu-ray last night and I'll probaly watch that too.

[The Vicar]

Running through a one month trial with Netflix, and just watched The Centurion by Neil Marshall,
who I thought did a bang up job on the under-appreciated Dog Soldiers ( but shat out the woeful
Doomsday, so you just never know). Michael Fassbender & Dominic West star with Marshall stalwart
Liam Cunningham & Immogene Poots ( really? Poots? Okay then). Like The Eagle, Centurion is yet another
go at the fate of the 9th Legion of Rome. The 9th makes for great theatre, because on-one knows
what the hell actually happened to the 9th, so writers can have their way with the legend any way they'd like.
I'm waiting for a version with aliens in it.
It was a good, solid flick. I liked Dog Soldiers more.

[Ribbons]

& Immogene Poots ( really? Poots? Okay then).

[Spandau Belly]

DETECTIVE DEE & THE MYSTERY OF THE PHANTOM FLAME

This is an action adventure fantasy detective movie about a detective in China in the 600s trying to solve a mystery about why the Empress's top cronies all spontaneously combusting. It's pretty similiar to Guy Ritchie's SHERLOCK HOLMES in that it is all very stylish, has lots of action, and everybody seems to be having fun, but I don't really care. The mystery never seems to take the importance it should and I occassionally thought that I was maybe missing bits of it when I would drift off, but then I would realize that I hadn't missed anything. And since there are so many fantasy elements at play, it always feels like the movie can just explain anything by saying "oh yeah, this guy has magic powers too".

Despite the occassional dodgy CGI moment, the production design is really good. They create a cool looking world. The action is pretty good too. There's a pretty funny sequence in which the hero fistfights a heard of CGI elk in a statue garden. But I just didn't really care about the plot. I never cared about the resolution of this mystery nor did I really feel there was any consequence if the hero failed to solve it.

And of course, the film has a pretty fascist message that feels more forced than in Zhang Yimou's movies.

I don't really recommend this film, but I'm sure there are people who would love it.

[Spandau Belly]

ANIMAL KINGDOM
starring Joel Edgerton!

This is a low budget Australian family crime drama. The story centres around a teenage boy named Joshua, who after the death of his mother, goes to live with his trashy criminal extended family. The movie plays out like a modern day take on the James gang. We watch the various distrusts, betrayals, and power struggles all play out within this group of outlaws on the decline. The plotting is pretty good with the right beats coming at the right moments. The movie has all the right characters in place with interesting relationships that develop well throughout the film. It's everything else that could use a little work. The tv movie level production values kinda hold this thing back from being as gripping as it could be, and the script probably could've used another pass to smooth out the dialogue. The acting is okay, it wouldn't surprise me if a lot of it was improvised and that the director had hoped the actors would find something more for their character to say but didn't.

So I thought this movie was okay but could've been a lot better.

[Ribbons]

Yeah, I agree about the dialogue. Pretty good story but parts of it felt oddly flat.

I saw Animal Kingdom about a year ago and I still think about the cops in that movie. Worst cops ever? I have no idea if Michod was being accurate or even trying to be, but it blew me away how almost every single cop was corrupt or terrible at their job.

[so sorry]

I got to sit down saturday night and watch my Season 5 DVDs for Curb Your Enthusiasm. This show if freaking hysterical. The "bonus" material is spartan at best, but on this particular season there was a featurette that basically said that Larry David will probably never release any of the "cutting room floor" scenes because in his mind if it wasn't good enough to make the show its not good enough to make the DVDs.

So I have season 6 and 7 to get thru now. Not sure if Season 8 is out yet, but I'll end up waiting until Christmas for that anyway... FYI Best Buy does an HBO Series sale every christmas that features up to half-off regular price. Over the past couple of years I've taken advantage of this with Curb as well as both seasons of Rome.

Preeety, preeety, preeety good.

[justcheckin]

I decided to watch the original Superman tonight. It's been a really long time (like at least 15 years) and I had forgotten how cool it was.

[Bloo]

watched Tucker and Dale Vs Evil (Netflix stream) and my god was it funny, a little contrived at the end but good

[Spandau Belly]

MATHA MAMMARIES MAY MARLENE

This an indie movie set in present times dealing the subject of a cult society. The film can be described as a character piece or a pschological snapshot, it's definitely not a plot driven movie. In fact, I would probably describe it as all middle with no no real beginning or end. Breasts. The film cuts back and forth between two timelines, but it doesn't use the fractured timeline in some annoying deceptive way like some 21 GRAMS bullshit. The two timelines are Elizabeth Olsen's time in the cult and then her time after leaving the cult and living with her yuppie sister and English brotherinlaw during which she flops around their lavish estate and has bizarre outbursts inbetween long stretches of catatonic aloofness. Breasts.

The film is at times masterfully nuanced and maybe at other times just plain vague. I liked that they never had any explicit scenes of cult leader Patrick (played by John Hawkes looking like a crackhead) doing any preaching or making any obvious statements about values. We just learn the cult's values and teachings through Olsen's outbursts and the way she no longer seems to completely see the reason behind regular society. Breasts. However, I found the film a little vague about her relationship with her sister. Elizabeth Olsen and Sarah Paulson at times look 15 years apart in age (because they are). And so the way they relate sometimes doesn't ring true. Breasts. They act like they grew up together sometimes (which they wouldn't have if the one was off at college when the other started kindgarten), but at other times they have the type of dynamic that comes from siblings who are like 4 years apart. I think a bit more about their relationship growing up or a younger actress in Paulson's role might've made their relationship make more sense.

I will also say Elizabeth Olsen has really distracting perfect breasts. I'm sure they'll serve her well when she makes the leap to playing one of the X-Men or whatever, but I mean, jeez, back when ScarJo did the respectable indie circuit she could keep those things strapped down under a baggy sweater or something. While watching the film, I was actually confused as to whether the many leering shots of Olsen's boobs were meant to serve some sort of purpose in the film like it was trying to make it part of her character that she was oblivious to her own sexuality or whether I'm just a perv. There was one good long take in particular with Olsen washing her sister's floor leaning forward in a low-cut shirt with her breasts jiggling back and forth and smacking into each other that seemed to go on for a lifetime in boner years. Maybe I've seen too many Lars Von Trier movies, but I falsely preditcted that all this flaunting of Olsen's sexuality was leading up to Olsen getting raped by her brother in law, which didn't happen.

All and all, I would say this is a good film. It tackles a subject matter that I don't see often in films and when I do it's usually in the 60s. The only other recent present-day-set cult movie I can think of was THE BEACH with Leo D, which didn't do big things for me. I think people who like more character driven movies would probably at least enjoy this, it doesn't go for MEEK'S CUTOFF levels of audience-alienating lack of reward, but it's definitely a movie more interested in psychology than story.

[so sorry]

FYI the Godfather saga is on full loop on AMC.

[Spandau Belly]

GLEAMING THE CUBE

I know this film is considered by many to be the best in the teen skateborder versus Vietnamese drug lords subgenre, so I decided to check it out. A pre-STAR TREK Christian Slater stars as a teenage skateboarder whose adopted Vietnamese brother gets killed when he realizes that the charity he works for is actually Vietnamese drug lords. The police are no help because they are played by Steve Bauer who doesn't do any investigation stuff unless it leads to a softcore lovescene with Pamela Anderson. Bauer continually makes the wrong assumption in most situations such as when several Vietnamese biker dudes all try to kill Christian Slater and Bauer accuses Slater of probably doing something to deserve it. This is the type of thinking that got Bauer killed in SCARFACE, he should know better.

So Slater must find a way to solve his brother's murder, take down the gangsters in skateboarderish way, but also incorporate a product placement. This all works out pretty well when the bad guy takes a hostage to the airport and Slater gets help from his buddy, who drives a novelty Pizza Hut delivery vehicle shaped like a Pizza Hut restaurant with the red roof. Slater rides on the back of Pizza Hutmobile and catches a jump flying through the air and using his skateboard to knock the pistol out of the hand of the gangster during which the hostage teleported four feet away so she wouldn't get hit by the skateboard.

I learned some interesting things about Vietnamese culture in this film. Such as how they believe their language to be untranslatable and will discuss their crimes in Vietnamese into a police taperecorder and laugh at how Americans will never be able to find out what they just said.

This is one of those movies that is trying to be sincere and respectful of a foreign culture and ends being awkwardly more racist because of its good intentions. I liked how every time an Asian person came on screen a wooden flute noise would play and I'm sure somewhere in the world, David Carradine would squint. You also get Slater mourning his dead brother in the form of crying about how now he has to do his own math homework. And of course, the part where Slater has to infiltrate the Asians by dressing up as a nerd.

This film was made at the tail end of that era when every film had to have a rock theme song with the title worked into it. They come up with the usual shit that sounds like the theme from BAYWATCH, but do manage to get the words "gleaming the cube" in the refrain, which makes me think Jack White and Alicia Keys really weren't trying with their QUANTUM OF SOLACE theme and also makes me wish Andrew Dominik had hired Van Hagar to work something out for THE ASSASSINATION OF JESSE JAMES BY THE COWARD ROBERT FORD.

This film is generally a piece of shit, but I think you knew that. I'm glad I witnessed this crap, but I wouldn't watch it again, however if they wanted to make a crossover with BMX BANDITS, I would definitely see that.

[minstrel]

Recently I received Hugo on Blu-Ray 3D. Our big-screen set is 3D-enabled and we have the glasses for it (roomie is a nerd for this kind of stuff, and he paid for it all), so we watched it in 3D. It worked great!

I reviewed Hugo here when I saw it in the theaters, so I won't repeat everything I said, but I do want to emphasize that it absolutely deserved every technical Oscar it won. It is gorgeous to look at in 3D. Magnificent visuals. Maybe the best-looking movie I've ever seen.

We haven't been using the 3D function of our TV, because there's just no material available to watch with it. Hugo is the first thing that came out, except for a sampler disk we got with our 3D Blu-Ray machine. I mean, there's that cloudy meatballs movies, but who wants to watch that?

I hope Hugo is a successful 3D release, so that we get more in the near future. I still don't have a 3D Avatar disk here, and I'd love to get one.

[Yelsaeb]

I finally got around to watching the Godfather last night. It wasn't half bad. I had no idea Sterling Hayden was in it.

[justcheckin]

I watched The Watchmen tonight. It was really long but I liked the story line. I bet it has a fairly cool soundtrack as well.

[The Vicar]

One thing you won't be watching on your telly anymore is Terra Nova,
which has gone extinct.

[Spandau Belly]

BLACK NARCISSUS

So on the weekend I rented this highbrow nunsploitation movie and enjoyed it quite a bit. The film follows a gaggle of Anglican nuns who journey to India to set up a nunery in the former brothel of the local majestrate. The film is mostly an interpersonal drama focussing on the relationships between the nuns and with the locals. Surprisingly for its time, it explores the intercultural issues and religious repression quite well. The film has a somewhat dry tone, although it never goes to Kubrick levels of clinicalness; I'd say it's got more of a Cronenberg feel in that the human drama is engaging but the storytelling is told from a step back at a more neutral point of view.

It's a shame my local videostore did not have the bluray because this film is a feast for the eyes. The cinematography is great. The film uses backdrops and glass paintings instead of filming on location and the effect is magnificent. I watched the special features and it wasn't a surprise that the filmmakers were inspired by painters when planning the look of this film. What surprised me was which painters they were drawing from. To me, the film really looked like the works of one of my favourite painters, Nikolai Roerich:






But they said they were drawing from the works of Dutch masters Rembrandt Van Rijn and Johannes Vermeer.




I found this odd, since the film was so bright and colourful and those painters were so dark. They explained it terms of using these painters' style of lighting human faces, which I guess is true, but I don't think this film really looks like those Dutch paintings brought to life as much as it does the work of Roerich.

Anyway, I really liked this film and will probably watch it again at some point in my life.

[caruso_stalker217]

Watched PANDORA'S BOX today. This is the second silent film I've seen and I thought it was a good piece of work. The picture quality is amazing, especially the first act of the film. Hard to believe it was filmed over eighty years ago. Louise Brooks was a dish.

I will buy this in the future.

[Spandau Belly]

YOUNG ADULT

So I was pretty eager to see this film. Despite getting stellar reviews and starring a famous lady, I don't really remember this one even playing in cinemas. But now it is on home video!

Chuck Theron takes on her least glamorous role since MONSTER. This time playing a drunken slobby bitchy mildly-successful writer of a teen book series like Sweet Valley High. The film follows her as she returns to her hometown in the middle of buttfuck nowhere in an effort to break up the marriage of her ex-boyfriend (Patrick Wilson). Her character is completely unlikeable and the film comes pretty close to BAD SANTA territory with her behaviour. The film is consistently funny in that awkward way of watching somebody who doesn't seem to get that they're an asshole. Theron gives a great natural performance always seeming sincerely oblivious to other people's feelings and never seeming like she's going for shock value.

The film was written by Diablo Cody, which was my main interest in seeing it because I really like her work. I know a lot of people hated JUNO, but I would say that YOUNG ADULT doesn't feature any of the things that annoyed people about JUNO such as snappy rapports between over-quarked characters with goofy gimmick names. I don't think anybody would've guessed that Cody had written this if they weren't told. I have a lot respect for this movie, and the things I respect most about it are probably what kept it from mainstream success or the Oscar buzz. The film does not take the easy way out or offer the lead character any redemption, in fact, she's probably a worse person at the end of the film than at the start. I'm sure if they'd ended the film with Theron apologizing to somebody and going to AA followed by your standard end-of-GREY'S-ANATOMY-montage showing her changing her life this film would've been a bigger hit. The resolution feels so wrong for a movie and that's what makes it so right in my opinion. So I really like this movie and would probably say it's my favourite of Theron's performances and of Cody's writings.

[Ribbons]

YOUNG ADULT

So I was pretty eager to see this film. Despite getting stellar reviews and starring a famous lady, I don't really remember this one even playing in cinemas. But now it is on home video!

Chuck Theron takes on her least glamorous role since MONSTER. This time playing a drunken slobby bitchy mildly-successful writer of a teen book series like Sweet Valley High. The film follows her as she returns to her hometown in the middle of buttfuck nowhere in an effort to break up the marriage of her ex-boyfriend (Patrick Wilson). Her character is completely unlikeable and the film comes pretty close to BAD SANTA territory with her behaviour. The film is consistently funny in that awkward way of watching somebody who doesn't seem to get that they're an asshole. Theron gives a great natural performance always seeming sincerely oblivious to other people's feelings and never seeming like she's going for shock value.

The film was written by Diablo Cody, which was my main interest in seeing it because I really like her work. I know a lot of people hated JUNO, but I would say that YOUNG ADULT doesn't feature any of the things that annoyed people about JUNO such as snappy rapports between over-quarked characters with goofy gimmick names. I don't think anybody would've guessed that Cody had written this if they weren't told. I have a lot respect for this movie, and the things I respect most about it are probably what kept it from mainstream success or the Oscar buzz. The film does not take the easy way out or offer the lead character any redemption, in fact, she's probably a worse person at the end of the film than at the start. I'm sure if they'd ended the film with Theron apologizing to somebody and going to AA followed by your standard end-of-GREY'S-ANATOMY-montage showing her changing her life this film would've been a bigger hit. The resolution feels so wrong for a movie and that's what makes it so right in my opinion. So I really like this movie and would probably say it's my favourite of Theron's performances and of Cody's writings.

I saw Young Adult too and I agree with pretty much all the points you made. This didn't get repped much during awards season, which is kind of surprising to me since I ended up liking it better than most of the stuff that did. And you've got to admire the cajones on a movie where the main character learns absolutely nothing.

[caruso_stalker217]

I'll check it out on your recommendation, Spandau.

[so sorry]

I'm slowing making my way thru my ROME DVDs.

I almost (appropriately!) got to the Caesar assasination episode, but I ran out of time today.

This show was awesome even though it took some crazy mad liberties with what we supposedly know as fact. And honestly I think this was one of HBO's most ambitious projects, budget and scale wise. Which I think is why it only lasted 2 seasons. So if you haven't watched it, I recommend seeking it out and giving it a go. At the very least you'll get some good gore an boob action.

[DennisMM]

I watched Cutter's Way, original title Cutter and Bone. It's the first movie I've seen on my new HDTV. The film is not remastered in any way, there are no English subtitles or closed captions, the sound is hardly outstanding, and the print is visibly damaged at times. Still, wow. Until now, I've only seen this film on crappy TVs, in pan-and-scan versions. Viewing it in proper aspect, I'm even more a fan. In the past, I've had to focus primarily on the performances of John Heard as Alex Cutter and Jeff Bridges (even in 1981, among the best actors of his generation) as Richard Bone, along with the twisted, maddening Lisa Eichorn as Maureen Cutter. (Her line that breaks my heart each time: "The Richard Bone fan club is now complete.") With this adequate widescreen transfer and 40" of 1080p, I can see the beautiful cinematography of Jordan Cronenweth and better appreciate Ivan Passer's direction. Jack Nitzsche's score benefits from better speakers and stereo, even if the sound isn't wonderful.

Thank you, MGM Classics. But you couldn't have popped for some restoration? 8/10

[minstrel]

Last night I watched Breakheart Pass, with Charles Bronson. Usually I like adaptations of Alistair MacLean's work, but this film was so badly directed I couldn't get into it. Roomie and I just wound up spending the whole running time of the movie talking about how crap it was. We were doing the MST3K thing.

[The Vicar]

Last night I watched Breakheart Pass, with Charles Bronson. Usually I like adaptations of Alistair MacLean's work, but this film was so badly directed I couldn't get into it. Roomie and I just wound up spending the whole running time of the movie talking about how crap it was. We were doing the MST3K thing.

You really want to have some fun, rent Bronson's Assassination....MST2K territory all around. Some horrible editing, tin ear dialogue
and another pathetic stab at "acting" by Jill Ireland.
Seriously, it's almost Ed Wood bad. Sloppy editing. Mind numbingly bad sound effects....( Bronson is driving a hog, and is being chased by one guy in a large truck. Both drivers have their hands on the wheel/handle bars, and yet shots are ringing out all over the place! Bronson peels out ON GRAVEL!!! Christ is Ireland aweful.

[Ribbons]

I'm slowing making my way thru my ROME DVDs.

I almost (appropriately!) got to the Caesar assasination episode, but I ran out of time today.

This show was awesome even though it took some crazy mad liberties with what we supposedly know as fact. And honestly I think this was one of HBO's most ambitious projects, budget and scale wise. Which I think is why it only lasted 2 seasons. So if you haven't watched it, I recommend seeking it out and giving it a go. At the very least you'll get some good gore an boob action.

Yeah, I think the reason HBO shut it down was how ridiculously expensive it was. But you can see every cent of that money on the screen. It's one of my favorite shows from the last few years (well... it first aired in 2004, but I only saw it a couple years ago). This is the kind of series you'd show someone if you were making the case for why TV is awesome.

[Spandau Belly]

Kirschblüten Hanami

This is the German mashup of UP! and LOST IN TRANSLATION that, like Aliens fighting Predators, prettymuch seemed inevitable to happen. You've got your old man who, upon losing his wife, is inspired to go on the exotic trip she always wanted to take; and once he gets to Japan, he forms a nice intergenerational friendship with a young woman going through the same emotional problems he is and they help each other by providing company and compassion.

The old man is Rudi, whose kids Karolin, Klaus, and Karl (like the Kardashians! ) are a bunch of ungrateful yuppie Struggling Background Artists. Karl took up his mum's fascination with Japan and lives there. So Rudi goes to stay with him. Karl acts like a complete shit and makes no time for his grieving father. In fact, he gets drunk and tells his father that he was a shitty father and a loser for working in the government, but Karl is one of those guys who blacks out so he doesn't remember any of that stuff the next day and is back to being somewhat polite to his father. Rudi gets bored snooping through his son's hentai collection and so he goes out to Tokyo's strip clubs. Rudi ultimately has a breakdown in a Tokyo rub 'n tug jerkoff parlour and decides to honour his dead wife in a way that doesn't involve Japanse snatch flying at his face.

Rudi then starts wearing his dead wife's clothes and wandering the streets of Tokyo, believing that in wearing her clothes, he is taking her on the trip with him. He quickly befriends a young homeless Japanese girl who likes old crossdressing German men, the two bond over losing loved ones and then simulate spring rolls by rolling themselves up in a giant tarp in a city park.

The two head out on a trek to see Mount Fuji, just like Rudi's dead wife always wanted to. Rudi puts on her clothes as well as Kabuki theatre makeup and does some Kabuki Tai Chi poses at the shore across from Mount Fuji and then drops dead. This movie was fucking great.

[minstrel]

Anybody ever see this movie called Sanctum, that James Cameron produced but didn't direct? We recorded it on our DVR and have watched it a couple of times so far. It's about some cave divers exploring a huge cave system in Papua New Guinea, and shit gets fucked up badly because the deep parts of the cave are flooded and they have to find a way out underwater.

This scared the shit out of me, because when I was a kid I had a recurring nightmare about being trapped underwater and drowning. I literally had to turn away from the screen quite a few times when watching this because the terror was hitting too close to home.

My roomie is fascinated by this movie and is going to buy it on DVD (or Blu, if it's available), which means it'll be regularly watched in our house and there will be times when I will have to endure it. It's good, with some good performances (Richard Roxburgh in the lead role is pretty intense). But I haven't seen a movie in years that's this hard for me to watch just because of its subject matter. Wow. I get cold sweats just thinking about it now.

[Ribbons]

Just got done with a fucking amazing triple bill of Monsters, Skeletons and Trollhunter.


Low budget sci-fi movie making is the way forward!!

I'll try to post something more in depth later in the week, but wow, all 3 of these films are excellent in their own right, wonderful explorations of their respective sub-genres and about a 1000 times deeper and more heartfelt than their bigger budget counterparts released over the past, say, 5 years.

i've got monsters at home, waiting to be watched. i can't wait to see trollhunter. never heard of skeletons though.

Skeletons honestly is the best of the bunch. A great concept with sharp witty writing. The main characters being a comedy duo really worked in their favor as the 2 have an amazing rapport. The film manages to be a comment on film-making as well as a treatise on loss, memory and secrets. The Rasputin conversation alone makes it worth a watch and thats before the movie even really starts.

Skeletons was pretty cool. It wasn't really a comedy, but it had a quirky sort of charm. I was never exactly sure what the two leads' job was, but the movie wisely chose not to over-explain things. I also appreciated the surprise appearance and game performance of Jason Isaacs as Viridcal's loopy boss.

[Spandau Belly]

Anybody ever see this movie called Sanctum, that James Cameron produced but didn't direct?

Yes, I saw this about a year ago. I think Cameron produced it to put more 3D content out there back when he thought 3D would be a tough sell. The film does very much feel like an homage to Cameron's work. It's almost like THE ABYSS without the aliens crossed with THE DESCENT without monsters.

It's good, with some good performances (Richard Roxburgh in the lead role is pretty intense).

I actually found the acting pretty bad. I agree that the lead guy was the best. The whole movie kinda felt like that ACT OF VALOUR thing. I guessed that these guys weren't real actors and were recruited for their diving abiltiies for authenticity or something. I thought the corporate guy and his girlfriend were the worst, but the sulky teenage son wasn't much better. The acting turned me off a bit at first, but I was glad I stuck with it because once the action starts it's pretty intense and the underwater cave cinematography was great.

[Spandau Belly]

THE FANTASTIC MR FUXXX

I had not watched any of these porno parody movies, but when I saw that they had made one of Wes Anderson's THE FANTASTIC MR. FOX, that just demanded to be seen. Honestly, they put a phenomonal amount of work into this creating what might be the world's first stop motion porno movie. I don't think they did the whole thing stop motion, some scenes I think are just two fox dolls being manipulated in real time by offscreen hands. But still, the care they put into recreating these sets and figures was amazing. In keeping with Anderson's style, the sex scenes are all treated as montages set to oldies songs. I really liked the use of Tommy James & The Shondells when Mr. Badger gets a boner, and they did a really good job showing his brown and white badger dick twitch to life at the sight of a big pile of money. They also re-used that funny glowing effect from the movie in a funny porno way buy having Mrs. Fox's breasts glow when she demands that Mr. Fox cum on them. And I liked how they re-used the way the characters eyes would go all spirally, only in this it would be usually after they cummed. Good stuff. I recommend this to fans of Wes Anderson, beastiality, and porn alike.

ALL THE REAL GIRLS 2: HEARTBREAK COUNTY

In the continuing downward spiral of David Gordon Green's career, he is now showing up as executive producer to DTV sequels to his own films. This is one of those DTV sequels like those CRUEL INTENTIONS sequels where it's sort of a remake just with other actors (Cam Gigandet and Brittany Snow standing in for Paul Schneider and Zooey Deschannel) and lousy production quality. They rehash the first film and try to put new little spins on it that mostly don't work. Instead of that weird hug they did across a bowling lane they now do an unconventional hand holding standing on opposite sides of a cotton candy machine. They also still have the main character's parent be a clown, only this time they got Lance Henrikson as the main character's dad and seeing him in clown makeup was kinda scary.

They use many DTV conventions to fill out the running time such as characters having flashbacks to things that just happened. But since they use the first film's improvised style of people talking over each other, these flashbacks allow me to get a second chance of hearing what was said.

They also abondon the first film's mature take on love and go with a much more conventional final act. They take the dunebuggy racing from the first film and put it back in here like this is some sports movie or something. The first film was about growing up and realizing nobody's an angel. Here, when the Zooey Deschanel character cheets on the Paul Schneider character, they play it so that he then has to beat the other man in a dunebuggy race to win his girl back. It's all just so wrong. The fact that David Gordon Green would produce this shows he has obviously lost all understanding of what made him an interesting filmmaker at the start of his career.

But the main thing being that both these films are completely made up and this post represents my April Fool's Day joke. And I think that's what we need to keep in mind. Pull my finger.

[caruso_stalker217]

THE FANTASTIC MR FUXXX

I had not watched any of these porno parody movies, but when I saw that they had made one of Wes Anderson's THE FANTASTIC MR. FOX, that just demanded to be seen. Honestly, they put a phenomonal amount of work into this creating what might be the world's first stop motion porno movie. I don't think they did the whole thing stop motion, some scenes I think are just two fox dolls being manipulated in real time by offscreen hands. But still, the care they put into recreating these sets and figures was amazing. In keeping with Anderson's style, the sex scenes are all treated as montages set to oldies songs. I really liked the use of Tommy James & The Shondells when Mr. Badger gets a boner, and they did a really good job showing his brown and white badger dick twitch to life at the sight of a big pile of money. They also re-used that funny glowing effect from the movie in a funny porno way buy having Mrs. Fox's breasts glow when she demands that Mr. Fox cum on them. And I liked how they re-used the way the characters eyes would go all spirally, only in this it would be usually after they cummed. Good stuff. I recommend this to fans of Wes Anderson, beastiality, and porn alike.

ALL THE REAL GIRLS 2: HEARTBREAK COUNTY

In the continuing downward spiral of David Gordon Green's career, he is now showing up as executive producer to DTV sequels to his own films. This is one of those DTV sequels like those CRUEL INTENTIONS sequels where it's sort of a remake just with other actors (Cam Gigandet and Brittany Snow standing in for Paul Schneider and Zooey Deschannel) and lousy production quality. They rehash the first film and try to put new little spins on it that mostly don't work. Instead of that weird hug they did across a bowling lane they now do an unconventional hand holding standing on opposite sides of a cotton candy machine. They also still have the main character's parent be a clown, only this time they got Lance Henrikson as the main character's dad and seeing him in clown makeup was kinda scary.

They use many DTV conventions to fill out the running time such as characters having flashbacks to things that just happened. But since they use the first film's improvised style of people talking over each other, these flashbacks allow me to get a second chance of hearing what was said.

They also abondon the first film's mature take on love and go with a much more conventional final act. They take the dunebuggy racing from the first film and put it back in here like this is some sports movie or something. The first film was about growing up and realizing nobody's an angel. Here, when the Zooey Deschanel character cheets on the Paul Schneider character, they play it so that he then has to beat the other man in a dunebuggy race to win his girl back. It's all just so wrong. The fact that David Gordon Green would produce this shows he has obviously lost all understanding of what made him an interesting filmmaker at the start of his career.

But the main thing being that both these films are completely made up and this post represents my April Fool's Day joke. And I think that's what we need to keep in mind. Pull my finger.

This is the best birthday present I have ever gotten.

[DennisMM]

Last night I watched Hellboy II: The Golden Army. I wasn't impressed, particularly, but I was entertained. Ron Perlman was hilarious and Seth McFarlane was fun as the voice of the ectoplasmic Dr. Krauss ("mit two 'S's!"). This was the first "big" movie I watched on my new HDTV, and the difference in the image quality was amazing compared to my old 27" CRT unit. The digital effects and stunt work may have taken up too much of the running time but, dang, they looked great. 7/10

[so sorry]

I was inspired by the new Total Recall trailer to go back and watch the original.

Hadn't watched it in a few years. Story still holds up well. You're never quite sure if the entire movie is Quiad's implanted dream/vacation, or wether its all real. My vote is for the implant. That in the end, he would wake up as the construction worker again, and continue on his life banging Sharon Stone (who, by the way, is deliciously hot in her limited role in this flick).

But I still couldn't shake some of the goofiness of the effects, and Arnold's attempts at acting. The rubber Arnold head when he pulls the thing out his nose or when he breathes Martian air, the mutants and their so clearly prosthetic mutations, the goofy ass side plots like Benny the Cabbie and his 7 kids). In the end for me its still a fun movie to revisit from time to time, but its lower on my list of Arnold movies. And as I said in the other thread about the new Total Recall, I welcome a new take on it.

[TheBaxter]

Hadn't watched it in a few years. Story still holds up well. You're never quite sure if the entire movie is banging Sharon Stone (who, by the way, is deliciously hot in her limited role in this flick).

this sentence reads so much better when you remove the spoiler quote.

[DerLanghaarige]

But I still couldn't shake some of the goofiness of the effects

Yeah, this isn't really Rob Bottin's finest work.