The Zone

by **caruso_stalker217** on Mon Nov 17, 2014 2:07 am

Finally got to see GONE GIRL at my friendly neighborhood cinema theater of films. Don't have much to say except that it is a David Fincher film and a pretty good adaptation of the book. There were a few moments I thought they could have nailed better and I really wanted to see the scene where Nick almost strangles Amybecause that would have been pretty satisfying at that point. Although there is a similar scene near the end of the film and the word "cunt" is said several times and that pleased me. Neil Patrick Harris's character was a little undercooked. Tyler Perry was good as Lawyer Bolt. Affleck was basically born to play this role and I liked seeing Rosamund Pike in her undies. Probably my favorite performance was from an actress I've never heard of named Carrie Coon playing Affleck's twin sister. She was real good.

I would not rank this high in the Fincher canon. It seemed to take the film a while to settle into the Fincherness. It kinda felt by the numbers for the first 30 minutes or so, like Finch's heart wasn't really in it, but things smoothed out after that. The Reznor/Ross score was some mellow keyboard business that will probably end up as reading music for me at some point.

Overall, a well-made picture. One of the better Affleck performances. Ultimately less satisfying than the book, but like Baxter said there was a much bigger build-up to the "twist" and more insight into the minds of the characters and shit because it is a book. Besides this was the best thing I've read in years and not even David Fincher could deliver a film that bonered me as much.

Affleck side dong.

by **TheBaxter** on Mon Nov 17, 2014 11:03 am

caruso_stalker217 wrote:Affleck side dong.

The Dark Knight Rises

by **caruso_stalker217** on Mon Nov 17, 2014 5:28 pm

I should also give props to Rosamund Pike (besides the panties scene) for her performance. She's never been much of a presence for me in the motion pictures, but I thought she was really good in this. Especially the stuff with Doogie.

by **caruso_stalker217** on Mon Nov 17, 2014 5:30 pm

TheBaxter wrote:
caruso_stalker217 wrote:Affleck side dong.

The Dark Knight Rises

Batpants.

Do it.

Keep bustin'.

by **Spandau Belly** on Sun Jan 25, 2015 1:34 pm

I did see GONE GIRL, and since this seems like one of those rare times that people in The Zone not only see a movie aimed at adults but also talk about it, I'll get in on this discussion.

I really dug this movie. The satire is very sharp and steadily amusing. We've seen countless portrayals of shitty yuppie marriages before, but the subject is usually approached straight-on by guys like Sam Mendes. Structuring it all like an updated Hitchcock thriller kept it fresh and steadily engaging. Fincher does break some ground by brining in the self-obsession social media aspect to his satire of yuppie marriages. Another thing they hit on this movie that made me laugh was how everybody these days diagnoses everybody they don't like as a sociopath. I hear this shit all the time "That bitch stole my parking spot, she's a total sociopath!"

The cast is excellent. I agree with all of Caruso's observations and will repeat many of them. Fincher really knew what he wanted here and assembles a cast made up mostly of actors who either get no respect or are unknown, but they all fit perfectly with their roles here. Affleck is somewhat of an odd duck right now. He used to be a complete joke, then he directed but did not act in a movie called GONE BABY GONE (which I didn't see) and that film was respected and somehow the respect for his directing abilities on that one film has given him an odd aura of prestige that he's carried back with him into his acting career. But make no mistake about it: this is the douche that Ben Affleck was born to play. I have no idea where Affleck ends and this character begins.

Rosamind Pike has also been kicking around in high profile roles for quite some time now without ever really impressing anybody as far I know. But she really delivers here.

The chick with the racist name playing Affleck's sister does a solid Janeane Garofalo impression and is probably the most likeable character in the movie. In fact, most of the supporting characters are likeable, it's the main characters who are the only real shit bags in this movie. I liked Tyler Perry's portayal of the lawyer guy as more of a jolly laid-back type than the usual slick 'n sleazy Tom Cruise type depictions of lawyers in movies.

I did have one problem with the movie and it was prettymuch everything to do with Neil Patrick Harris's character. This whole portion of this film just felt like it was on another level of heightened reality than the rest of the film. If this was some wacky Asian thriller like I SAW THE DEVIL or AUDITION or something, I would be expecting and even disappointed if the film didn't include some convoluted theatric detour like this. But here it just felt out of place. Harris comes across like a Bond villain at times with his self-surveillance fetish and absurd level of sophistication. It was just cartoonish the way he'd lounge around in velvet robes in sets that look like they're out of decorating magazines spouting poncey bullshit.

And the bigger problem is Amazing Amy retconning Harris in as the new fall guy. It made sense that Amazing Amy, despite being a lunatic, allowed herself to be dominated so easily by the rednecks. She's comfortable fucking people over, but she never gets her hands dirty. So having her slit Doogie Hauser's throat while he's fucking her so that his blood pours all over her tits just felt like a really big leap for her character. And I think some of this might be intentional, but Amazing Amy's new story would crumble apart under any scrutiny. I mean, Doogie Hauser doesn't exactly seem like the type of guy who washes his own car. This guy would have servants and squash partners and mobile phones and GPS's that would not only show that he wasn't where Amazing Amy said he was, but also reveal that she called him to come pick her up at a casino that also probably has tons of cameras. Like I said, her getting away with such a ridiculous story might be part of what the film is going for in terms of people's biases and willingness to accept anything that confirms the status quo. But I think it maybe might've better if she just killed the rednecks and framed them instead. They seemed like an easier mark seeing as they're already trashy outlaws. And she could've just said they'd kidnapped Amazing Amy in hopes of getting a ransom from her celebrity author parents and she managed to break free. That's just my thoughts. Maybe some of these characters and the transitions are handled better in the novel. I've never read it.

All and all, this is a good movie. Good laughs and mostly good twists.

There's obviously some good set up for sequels and I look forward to how they progress with parenthood in the sequels. Obviously, their kid will eventually want a doll to play with and that will set up AMAZING AMY VS CHUCKY.

All of your marriages are shit.

by **caruso_stalker217** on Sun Jan 25, 2015 6:31 pm

Spandau Belly wrote:And the bigger problem is Amazing Amy retconning Harris in as the new fall guy. It made sense that Amazing Amy, despite being a lunatic, allowed herself to be dominated so easily by the rednecks. She's comfortable fucking people over, but she never gets her hands dirty. So having her slit Doogie Hauser's throat while he's fucking her so that his blood pours all over her tits just felt like a really big leap for her character. And I think some of this might be intentional, but Amazing Amy's new story would crumble apart under any scrutiny. I mean, Doogie Hauser doesn't exactly seem like the type of guy who washes his own car. This guy would have servants and squash partners and mobile phones and GPS's that would not only show that he wasn't where Amazing Amy said he was, but also reveal that she called him to come pick her up at a casino that also probably has tons of cameras. Like I said, her getting away with such a ridiculous story might be part of what the film is going for in terms of people's biases and willingness to accept anything that confirms the status quo. But I think it maybe might've better if she just killed the rednecks and framed them instead. They seemed like an easier mark seeing as they're already trashy outlaws. And she could've just said they'd kidnapped Amazing Amy in hopes of getting a ransom from her celebrity author parents and she managed to break free. That's just my thoughts. Maybe some of these characters and the transitions are handled better in the novel. I've never read it.

This part definitely works better in the novel, since it's a lot easier to buy when you don't actually have to see it happen. Also you'd think they'd let her take a shower before sending her home.

All of your marriages are shit.

Yes.

by **TheBaxter** on Mon Jan 26, 2015 1:27 pm

Spandau Belly wrote:The cast is excellent. I agree with all of Caruso's observations and will repeat many of them. Fincher really knew what he wanted here and assembles a cast made up mostly of actors who either get no respect or are unknown, but they all fit perfectly with their roles here. Affleck is somewhat of an odd duck right now. He used to be a complete joke, then he directed but did not act in a movie called GONE BABY GONE (which I didn't see) and that film was respected and somehow the respect for his directing abilities on that one film has given him an odd aura of prestige that he's carried back with him into his acting career. But make no mistake about it: this is the douche that Ben Affleck was born to play. I have no idea where Affleck ends and this character begins.

i remember when his casting was first announced, thinking it was perfect casting. and it was.

Spandau Belly wrote:I did have one problem with the movie and it was prettymuch everything to do with Neil Patrick Harris's character. This whole portion of this film just felt like it was on another level of heightened reality than the rest of the film. If this was some wacky Asian thriller like I SAW THE DEVIL or AUDITION or something, I would be expecting and even disappointed if the film didn't include some convoluted theatric detour like this. But here it just felt out of place. Harris comes across like a Bond villain at times with his self-surveillance fetish and absurd level of sophistication. It was just cartoonish the way he'd lounge around in velvet robes in sets that look like they're out of decorating magazines spouting poncey bullshit.

his character is more developed in the book, so it made more sense there. basically Amy is really good at transforming herself into whatever type of person she wants to be, or thinks the person she is with wants her to be. that's why she talks about being the Cool Girl with Nick. the book explains a lot more of her past, including with former boyfriends and female friends, where she'd be a different person until finally getting fed up with them and moving on. problem is, NPH's character is one of those obsessive stalker-type guys who got fooled by her act. so what happens when an obsessive stalker hooks up with a manipulative pretender like Amy? it also explains how he got so rich (basically a dot-com millionaire type thing) and why he so readily takes her back, the letters he'd been writing her and his crazy fantasy life in his head where she still wanted to be with him, because he knows the "real" Amy (which of course is just the act she was putting on when they were together).

Spandau Belly wrote:And the bigger problem is Amazing Amy retconning Harris in as the new fall guy. It made sense that Amazing Amy, despite being a lunatic, allowed herself to be dominated so easily by the rednecks. She's comfortable fucking people over, but she never gets her hands dirty. So having her slit Doogie Hauser's throat while he's fucking her so that his blood pours all over her tits just felt like a really big leap for her character. And I think some of this might be intentional, but Amazing Amy's new story would crumble apart under any scrutiny. I mean, Doogie Hauser doesn't exactly seem like the type of guy who washes his own car. This guy would have servants and squash partners and mobile phones and GPS's that would not only show that he wasn't where Amazing Amy said he was, but also reveal that she called him to come pick her up at a casino that also probably has tons of cameras. Like I said, her getting away with such a ridiculous story might be part of what the film is going for in terms of people's biases and willingness to accept anything that confirms the status quo. But I think it maybe might've better if she just killed the rednecks and framed them instead. They seemed like an easier mark seeing as they're already trashy outlaws. And she could've just said they'd kidnapped Amazing Amy in hopes of getting a ransom from her celebrity author parents and she managed to break free. That's just my thoughts. Maybe some of these characters and the transitions are handled better in the novel. I've never read it.

the only problem with setting up the rednecks to be fall guys is that, at that point, Amy didn't want to go back to Nick. originally she was gonna off herself, and let Nick take the blame. then she decides she doesn't want to die after all, but she still doesn't want to go back to Nick, she wants to start a new life with a new identity. it isn't until after her run-in with the rednecks and her "rescue" by NPH that she sees the interview that Nick does on TV, where he purposely manipulates her into wanting to come back to him. only now she's trapped with NPH, so she has to get away from him somehow. once she does decide to escape NPH and go back to Nick, she plans her escape in a way to leave as much implicating evidence of NPH (such as the surveillance video, and there were other things too in the book i think got left out of the movie) so there wouldn't be any suspicion of her. as her plot against Nick shows, she's thinks these things through pretty well.

by **Spandau Belly** on Mon Jan 26, 2015 2:42 pm

I figured they could have her see Affleck's television interview while she was chillin' with the rednecks, then they try to rob her later, she fights back and kills them, then goes back to Affleck and it avoids the whole Doogie Hauser surveillance cabin portion of the film quite neatly.

And yeah, her meticulousness was well depicted in setting up Affleck, but I think not so much with Doogie. I'm willing to accept that there's some stuff I missed. Aside from Doogie being other places when she claims he was kidnapping her, the whole setup didn't really seem like a prison. I think he said something about giving her peace and quiet and telling the maid not to disturb the lodge, but did they say anything about that lodge locking from the outside? Or having no phone lines? Because it just looked like she could walk out the front door any time.

by **Ribbons** on Mon Jan 26, 2015 4:18 pm

I think the fear there is that Desi would immediately expose her, tell the world that she faked her death to frame Nick, which would not only ruin her plans for him but would probably make the rest of her life very unpleasant. And because she was penniless and had nowhere else to go, she couldn't really run away and disappear like she wanted to. She was physically capable of leaving the house whenever she wanted, but in another way, she could never leave.

The other element of her time with Desi that made it like a prison was that he expected her to be someone else, just like everybody else in her life. He wanted her to wear her hair a certain way, he wanted her to lose weight, etc. And although it's probably true that she appreciated his sophistication in contrast to Nick's or her redneck neighbors, she didn't find being with Desi rewarding or challenging enough to put up with vanishing into the role.

by **Spandau Belly** on Mon Jan 26, 2015 6:41 pm

I did understand the real reasons why she couldn't just walk out on Doogie. But in terms of selling the police her story that she was abducted and held captive for several days by him, the story didn't add up from what I saw. Doogie seemed to leave her alone for long periods of time in a house where she could just walk out the front door or call the police or something. The surveillance videos would show her wandering around freely, not chained up or anything. And any inspection of the house would show that it wasn't a prison.

Like I said, it wasn't a dealbreaker. And I figured it was the type of stuff that is better explained in the novel. It was just the one weaker part of the film for me. I did like the part with the rednecks. It was clever way to have the tables turned on her. And it made sense since she wasn't street smart and had no hands on experience with violence. Which is why her sudden ease with killing Doogie in such a gruesome way felt like a bit of a jump.

by **Ribbons** on Mon Jan 26, 2015 11:13 pm

The story does have some holes, but I guess she could just say she was too afraid to run away or something

by **TheBaxter** on Tue Jan 27, 2015 3:06 pm

by **so sorry** on Tue Jan 27, 2015 4:05 pm

TheBaxter wrote:

Awesome, as usual.

by **shitjet** on Fri Jan 30, 2015 1:03 pm

I saw a turkish film called 'yumurta'. really fucking good. it's not european film in the sense that it's just people talking all day. It's actually quite the contrary. pretty minimalistic in most aspects. just a great movie to watch with introspective people, me thinks.

the other movie i saw in the movie theater was 'mr turner'. what a great film. great biopic. watch it if you haven't already

by **caruso_stalker217** on Sat May 09, 2015 2:54 am

I watched MAGGIE on Amazon Instant Video, not in the cinema, but it is currently playing in some cinemas so it counts. I'd give it a solid B-. Heavy on melancholy, somber piano music and flannel, light on character and dialogue. A moody film that gets by on nice cinematography, good performances and as little story as possible. Emotional, with an ending that leaves you wanting more or maybe just something else. Feels a bit like Malick without the introspective voiceovers. Easily Arnold's best performance after TRUE LIES and PREDATOR. He gets to play a real person for the first time since STAY HUNGRY.

by **so sorry** on Mon Jul 06, 2015 3:02 pm

Ribbons wrote:
caruso_stalker217 wrote:JOHN WICK

Pretty damn good.

I found myself pretty out of the loop on this one. It's been getting a lot of hype, not just here, but everywhere it seems. I went to see it about a week ago and thought it was just okay. The action was well-choreographed and filmed, but it's like how many people can you watch get shot in the head in one movie and not start to go cross-eyed. Keanu was Keanu.

Am I missing something here? I did like the secret society of hitpersons, with their swanky hotel. That part was fun.

Caught this on HBO last night. Decent mindless flick. I started to wonder how the NYC cops and investigators were going to handle dozens and dozens of dead russian mobsters, then I realized I should't actually be wondering about anything with this, just sit back and try and enjoy. Yes, the amount of headshots was getting tedious towards the end, but they did manage to switch it up and have him start killing dudes with his car. This reminded me of that other super assasin movie from a few years back with Angelina and Professor X...

by **TheButcher** on Thu Oct 01, 2015 3:44 am

The Iron Giant tonight.
The Martian tomorrow.
Sicario Saturday.

by **so sorry** on Thu Oct 01, 2015 8:38 am

TheButcher wrote:The Iron Giant tonight.
The Martian tomorrow.
Sicario Saturday.

Interested to hear how the Martian turns out to be.

by **tfactor** on Fri Oct 02, 2015 5:10 pm

OMG M. Night Shamacantmakeagoodfuckingmovielon has crushed me for the last time. We watched The Visit last night and holy shit show, what a steaming pile of crap that movie was. Now comes the kicker. I came here to AICN to read up on the main page reviews, surely this thing can't be as horrible as everyone is saying could it (I thought)?

The answer simply is yes, yes it is every bit as bad as everyone says. I wanted it not to be true, I was thinking: there must be something here worth watching. This can't be another stinker, the MPAA wouldn't possibly allow such a thing.

Nope, it sucks.

SPOILERs
the only moment of anything good was when the non-nana was talking about aliens because in that moment I thought "oh fuck yeah, let this be alien related - that would be great" however NOPE it turns out this whole Visit can be chalked up to some next level terrible parenting. Their whore mother ships them off to her estranged parents house, so that she can go on some fuckcation with her new boyfriend. Unfortunaly for the kids, sometime between when mom made the plans and the kids arrival at the train station - two psycho inmates escape a local insane asylum, murder the gparents and decide to sit in for them, while the actual parents bodies are rotting in the basement. So yeah "those aren't your grandparents" was I guess supposed to be the big reveal / twist in this movie. But honestly by is point in the movie you've seen naked grandma walking around at night scratching at walls and walking around with knives, we also see pop pop with a shotgun in his mouth saying "I'm just cleaning it" and all while talking about some little white creature with red eyes that he used to see when he worked at whatever and now sees in the fields. Getting back to the aliens; nana tells this sort of weird story about aliens who spit in a lake, their spit makes people fall asleep but not die, so when people go under the water in this lake they fall asleep and drown. So these aliens have apparently dozens of bodies they are harvesting in the lake for alien thanksgiving or some shit and nana even knows the name of their planet. But it doesn't matter what the planet is called or anything that either nongrandparent says because they just turn out to be boring ass murderers, who sadly can escape an insane asylum, kill people and assume their identity without so much as a cop stopping by the house. Yet they can't manage to murder the whores bastards. In fact it's the kids who end up killing them. But they are like 10 & 13 I'm guessing.

Now I know what you're thinking: T only comes on here to spew bile every couple months, but it's not true. I just wanted to warn you guys,plus I come here and read all the time - I just rarely have time to contribute. So that said; don't waste your time or money on The Visit. Honestly one of the worst movies I've watched in a long time.

M. Night is dead to me and I will never pay for anything he touches again. Even TV ventures staring Matt Dillon, which was a whole other level of suck that I can't even get into. So if you've ever trusted anything I've said about movies - steer clear of this one. You'll thank me later.

K love you guys, bye! Long live the secret zone!
-T

by **Al Shut** on Sat Oct 03, 2015 4:52 am

Great, now I'm curious

by **Wolfpack** on Sat Oct 03, 2015 9:04 am

The twist is...the movie is actually about a girl on her period!

by **so sorry** on Sat Oct 03, 2015 11:10 am

Wolfpack wrote:The twist is...the movie is actually about a girl on her period!

The horror...the horror....

by **tfactor** on Sat Oct 03, 2015 3:37 pm

so sorry wrote:
Wolfpack wrote:The twist is...the movie is actually about a girl on her period!

The horror...the horror....

And her vagina has teeth, and it eats everything that gets close to it.

Too far?

by **TheBaxter** on Sun Oct 04, 2015 5:46 pm

this sounds like one of those movies where it might be a good idea to get drunk before watching and reviewing it.

by **Peven** on Tue Oct 06, 2015 3:57 pm

tfactor wrote:OMG M. Night Shamacantmakeagoodfuckingmovielon has crushed me for the last time. We watched The Visit last night and holy shit show, what a steaming pile of crap that movie was. Now comes the kicker. I came here to AICN to read up on the main page reviews, surely this thing can't be as horrible as everyone is saying could it (I thought)?

The answer simply is yes, yes it is every bit as bad as everyone says. I wanted it not to be true, I was thinking: there must be something here worth watching. This can't be another stinker, the MPAA wouldn't possibly allow such a thing.

Nope, it sucks.

SPOILERs
the only moment of anything good was when the non-nana was talking about aliens because in that moment I thought "oh fuck yeah, let this be alien related - that would be great" however NOPE it turns out this whole Visit can be chalked up to some next level terrible parenting. Their whore mother ships them off to her estranged parents house, so that she can go on some fuckcation with her new boyfriend. Unfortunaly for the kids, sometime between when mom made the plans and the kids arrival at the train station - two psycho inmates escape a local insane asylum, murder the gparents and decide to sit in for them, while the actual parents bodies are rotting in the basement. So yeah "those aren't your grandparents" was I guess supposed to be the big reveal / twist in this movie. But honestly by is point in the movie you've seen naked grandma walking around at night scratching at walls and walking around with knives, we also see pop pop with a shotgun in his mouth saying "I'm just cleaning it" and all while talking about some little white creature with red eyes that he used to see when he worked at whatever and now sees in the fields. Getting back to the aliens; nana tells this sort of weird story about aliens who spit in a lake, their spit makes people fall asleep but not die, so when people go under the water in this lake they fall asleep and drown. So these aliens have apparently dozens of bodies they are harvesting in the lake for alien thanksgiving or some shit and nana even knows the name of their planet. But it doesn't matter what the planet is called or anything that either nongrandparent says because they just turn out to be boring ass murderers, who sadly can escape an insane asylum, kill people and assume their identity without so much as a cop stopping by the house. Yet they can't manage to murder the whores bastards. In fact it's the kids who end up killing them. But they are like 10 & 13 I'm guessing.

Now I know what you're thinking: T only comes on here to spew bile every couple months, but it's not true. I just wanted to warn you guys,plus I come here and read all the time - I just rarely have time to contribute. So that said; don't waste your time or money on The Visit. Honestly one of the worst movies I've watched in a long time.

M. Night is dead to me and I will never pay for anything he touches again. Even TV ventures staring Matt Dillon, which was a whole other level of suck that I can't even get into. So if you've ever trusted anything I've said about movies - steer clear of this one. You'll thank me later.

K love you guys, bye! Long live the secret zone!
-T

you just come here to dump your negativity on us that skeedaddle out until the next time you have some vitriol to unload :-P

by **tfactor** on Wed Oct 07, 2015 1:10 pm

Peven wrote:
tfactor wrote:OMG M. Night Shamacantmakeagoodfuckingmovielon has crushed me for the last time. We watched The Visit last night and holy shit show, what a steaming pile of crap that movie was. Now comes the kicker. I came here to AICN to read up on the main page reviews, surely this thing can't be as horrible as everyone is saying could it (I thought)?

The answer simply is yes, yes it is every bit as bad as everyone says. I wanted it not to be true, I was thinking: there must be something here worth watching. This can't be another stinker, the MPAA wouldn't possibly allow such a thing.

Nope, it sucks.

SPOILERs
the only moment of anything good was when the non-nana was talking about aliens because in that moment I thought "oh fuck yeah, let this be alien related - that would be great" however NOPE it turns out this whole Visit can be chalked up to some next level terrible parenting. Their whore mother ships them off to her estranged parents house, so that she can go on some fuckcation with her new boyfriend. Unfortunaly for the kids, sometime between when mom made the plans and the kids arrival at the train station - two psycho inmates escape a local insane asylum, murder the gparents and decide to sit in for them, while the actual parents bodies are rotting in the basement. So yeah "those aren't your grandparents" was I guess supposed to be the big reveal / twist in this movie. But honestly by is point in the movie you've seen naked grandma walking around at night scratching at walls and walking around with knives, we also see pop pop with a shotgun in his mouth saying "I'm just cleaning it" and all while talking about some little white creature with red eyes that he used to see when he worked at whatever and now sees in the fields. Getting back to the aliens; nana tells this sort of weird story about aliens who spit in a lake, their spit makes people fall asleep but not die, so when people go under the water in this lake they fall asleep and drown. So these aliens have apparently dozens of bodies they are harvesting in the lake for alien thanksgiving or some shit and nana even knows the name of their planet. But it doesn't matter what the planet is called or anything that either nongrandparent says because they just turn out to be boring ass murderers, who sadly can escape an insane asylum, kill people and assume their identity without so much as a cop stopping by the house. Yet they can't manage to murder the whores bastards. In fact it's the kids who end up killing them. But they are like 10 & 13 I'm guessing.

Now I know what you're thinking: T only comes on here to spew bile every couple months, but it's not true. I just wanted to warn you guys,plus I come here and read all the time - I just rarely have time to contribute. So that said; don't waste your time or money on The Visit. Honestly one of the worst movies I've watched in a long time.

M. Night is dead to me and I will never pay for anything he touches again. Even TV ventures staring Matt Dillon, which was a whole other level of suck that I can't even get into. So if you've ever trusted anything I've said about movies - steer clear of this one. You'll thank me later.

K love you guys, bye! Long live the secret zone!
-T

you just come here to dump your negativity on us that skeedaddle out until the next time you have some vitriol to unload

Busted! You should totally gather up as many people as you can, tell them this is the best movie ever and buy tickets for all of them. I'm sure you'll all walk away with a sense of wonder and enjoyment. Bring the kids too, because nothing will get those young minds going like seeing popop smearing he shit filled diaper on the germappobic kids face for no apparent reason. Should be a great conversation starter about incontinence and the importance of proper diaper disposal.

Oh and I nearly forgot the young boy is a grade A rapper, so there is that little gem as well. And even better is that he ends every rap with "yeah hoo!" Which I didn't realize - from what I now understand all girls like to be called.

Seriously I think M. Night should be shot for making this film. Yeah hooo!

by **caruso_stalker217** on Wed Oct 07, 2015 3:12 pm

tfactor wrote:
Peven wrote:
tfactor wrote:OMG M. Night Shamacantmakeagoodfuckingmovielon has crushed me for the last time. We watched The Visit last night and holy shit show, what a steaming pile of crap that movie was. Now comes the kicker. I came here to AICN to read up on the main page reviews, surely this thing can't be as horrible as everyone is saying could it (I thought)?

The answer simply is yes, yes it is every bit as bad as everyone says. I wanted it not to be true, I was thinking: there must be something here worth watching. This can't be another stinker, the MPAA wouldn't possibly allow such a thing.

Nope, it sucks.

SPOILERs
the only moment of anything good was when the non-nana was talking about aliens because in that moment I thought "oh fuck yeah, let this be alien related - that would be great" however NOPE it turns out this whole Visit can be chalked up to some next level terrible parenting. Their whore mother ships them off to her estranged parents house, so that she can go on some fuckcation with her new boyfriend. Unfortunaly for the kids, sometime between when mom made the plans and the kids arrival at the train station - two psycho inmates escape a local insane asylum, murder the gparents and decide to sit in for them, while the actual parents bodies are rotting in the basement. So yeah "those aren't your grandparents" was I guess supposed to be the big reveal / twist in this movie. But honestly by is point in the movie you've seen naked grandma walking around at night scratching at walls and walking around with knives, we also see pop pop with a shotgun in his mouth saying "I'm just cleaning it" and all while talking about some little white creature with red eyes that he used to see when he worked at whatever and now sees in the fields. Getting back to the aliens; nana tells this sort of weird story about aliens who spit in a lake, their spit makes people fall asleep but not die, so when people go under the water in this lake they fall asleep and drown. So these aliens have apparently dozens of bodies they are harvesting in the lake for alien thanksgiving or some shit and nana even knows the name of their planet. But it doesn't matter what the planet is called or anything that either nongrandparent says because they just turn out to be boring ass murderers, who sadly can escape an insane asylum, kill people and assume their identity without so much as a cop stopping by the house. Yet they can't manage to murder the whores bastards. In fact it's the kids who end up killing them. But they are like 10 & 13 I'm guessing.

Now I know what you're thinking: T only comes on here to spew bile every couple months, but it's not true. I just wanted to warn you guys,plus I come here and read all the time - I just rarely have time to contribute. So that said; don't waste your time or money on The Visit. Honestly one of the worst movies I've watched in a long time.

M. Night is dead to me and I will never pay for anything he touches again. Even TV ventures staring Matt Dillon, which was a whole other level of suck that I can't even get into. So if you've ever trusted anything I've said about movies - steer clear of this one. You'll thank me later.

K love you guys, bye! Long live the secret zone!
-T

you just come here to dump your negativity on us that skeedaddle out until the next time you have some vitriol to unload

Busted! You should totally gather up as many people as you can, tell them this is the best movie ever and buy tickets for all of them. I'm sure you'll all walk away with a sense of wonder and enjoyment. Bring the kids too, because nothing will get those young minds going like seeing popop smearing he shit filled diaper on the germappobic kids face for no apparent reason. Should be a great conversation starter about incontinence and the importance of proper diaper disposal.

Oh and I nearly forgot the young boy is a grade A rapper, so there is that little gem as well. And even better is that he ends every rap with "yeah hoo!" Which I didn't realize - from what I now understand all girls like to be called.

Seriously I think M. Night should be shot for making this film. Yeah hooo!

This sounds almost as good as THE HAPPENING (Night's masterpiece) but I think I'll wait and Redbox it.

by **Peven** on Wed Oct 07, 2015 4:55 pm

tfactor wrote:
Peven wrote:
tfactor wrote:OMG M. Night Shamacantmakeagoodfuckingmovielon has crushed me for the last time. We watched The Visit last night and holy shit show, what a steaming pile of crap that movie was. Now comes the kicker. I came here to AICN to read up on the main page reviews, surely this thing can't be as horrible as everyone is saying could it (I thought)?

The answer simply is yes, yes it is every bit as bad as everyone says. I wanted it not to be true, I was thinking: there must be something here worth watching. This can't be another stinker, the MPAA wouldn't possibly allow such a thing.

Nope, it sucks.

SPOILERs
the only moment of anything good was when the non-nana was talking about aliens because in that moment I thought "oh fuck yeah, let this be alien related - that would be great" however NOPE it turns out this whole Visit can be chalked up to some next level terrible parenting. Their whore mother ships them off to her estranged parents house, so that she can go on some fuckcation with her new boyfriend. Unfortunaly for the kids, sometime between when mom made the plans and the kids arrival at the train station - two psycho inmates escape a local insane asylum, murder the gparents and decide to sit in for them, while the actual parents bodies are rotting in the basement. So yeah "those aren't your grandparents" was I guess supposed to be the big reveal / twist in this movie. But honestly by is point in the movie you've seen naked grandma walking around at night scratching at walls and walking around with knives, we also see pop pop with a shotgun in his mouth saying "I'm just cleaning it" and all while talking about some little white creature with red eyes that he used to see when he worked at whatever and now sees in the fields. Getting back to the aliens; nana tells this sort of weird story about aliens who spit in a lake, their spit makes people fall asleep but not die, so when people go under the water in this lake they fall asleep and drown. So these aliens have apparently dozens of bodies they are harvesting in the lake for alien thanksgiving or some shit and nana even knows the name of their planet. But it doesn't matter what the planet is called or anything that either nongrandparent says because they just turn out to be boring ass murderers, who sadly can escape an insane asylum, kill people and assume their identity without so much as a cop stopping by the house. Yet they can't manage to murder the whores bastards. In fact it's the kids who end up killing them. But they are like 10 & 13 I'm guessing.

Now I know what you're thinking: T only comes on here to spew bile every couple months, but it's not true. I just wanted to warn you guys,plus I come here and read all the time - I just rarely have time to contribute. So that said; don't waste your time or money on The Visit. Honestly one of the worst movies I've watched in a long time.

M. Night is dead to me and I will never pay for anything he touches again. Even TV ventures staring Matt Dillon, which was a whole other level of suck that I can't even get into. So if you've ever trusted anything I've said about movies - steer clear of this one. You'll thank me later.

K love you guys, bye! Long live the secret zone!
-T

you just come here to dump your negativity on us that skeedaddle out until the next time you have some vitriol to unload

Busted! You should totally gather up as many people as you can, tell them this is the best movie ever and buy tickets for all of them. I'm sure you'll all walk away with a sense of wonder and enjoyment. Bring the kids too, because nothing will get those young minds going like seeing popop smearing he shit filled diaper on the germappobic kids face for no apparent reason. Should be a great conversation starter about incontinence and the importance of proper diaper disposal.

Oh and I nearly forgot the young boy is a grade A rapper, so there is that little gem as well. And even better is that he ends every rap with "yeah hoo!" Which I didn't realize - from what I now understand all girls like to be called.

Seriously I think M. Night should be shot for making this film. Yeah hooo!

maybe you just didn't "get it"??? :wink:

by **tfactor** on Sat Oct 10, 2015 4:18 am

Peven wrote:
tfactor wrote:
Peven wrote:
tfactor wrote:OMG M. Night Shamacantmakeagoodfuckingmovielon has crushed me for the last time. We watched The Visit last night and holy shit show, what a steaming pile of crap that movie was. Now comes the kicker. I came here to AICN to read up on the main page reviews, surely this thing can't be as horrible as everyone is saying could it (I thought)?

The answer simply is yes, yes it is every bit as bad as everyone says. I wanted it not to be true, I was thinking: there must be something here worth watching. This can't be another stinker, the MPAA wouldn't possibly allow such a thing.

Nope, it sucks.

SPOILERs
the only moment of anything good was when the non-nana was talking about aliens because in that moment I thought "oh fuck yeah, let this be alien related - that would be great" however NOPE it turns out this whole Visit can be chalked up to some next level terrible parenting. Their whore mother ships them off to her estranged parents house, so that she can go on some fuckcation with her new boyfriend. Unfortunaly for the kids, sometime between when mom made the plans and the kids arrival at the train station - two psycho inmates escape a local insane asylum, murder the gparents and decide to sit in for them, while the actual parents bodies are rotting in the basement. So yeah "those aren't your grandparents" was I guess supposed to be the big reveal / twist in this movie. But honestly by is point in the movie you've seen naked grandma walking around at night scratching at walls and walking around with knives, we also see pop pop with a shotgun in his mouth saying "I'm just cleaning it" and all while talking about some little white creature with red eyes that he used to see when he worked at whatever and now sees in the fields. Getting back to the aliens; nana tells this sort of weird story about aliens who spit in a lake, their spit makes people fall asleep but not die, so when people go under the water in this lake they fall asleep and drown. So these aliens have apparently dozens of bodies they are harvesting in the lake for alien thanksgiving or some shit and nana even knows the name of their planet. But it doesn't matter what the planet is called or anything that either nongrandparent says because they just turn out to be boring ass murderers, who sadly can escape an insane asylum, kill people and assume their identity without so much as a cop stopping by the house. Yet they can't manage to murder the whores bastards. In fact it's the kids who end up killing them. But they are like 10 & 13 I'm guessing.

Now I know what you're thinking: T only comes on here to spew bile every couple months, but it's not true. I just wanted to warn you guys,plus I come here and read all the time - I just rarely have time to contribute. So that said; don't waste your time or money on The Visit. Honestly one of the worst movies I've watched in a long time.

M. Night is dead to me and I will never pay for anything he touches again. Even TV ventures staring Matt Dillon, which was a whole other level of suck that I can't even get into. So if you've ever trusted anything I've said about movies - steer clear of this one. You'll thank me later.

K love you guys, bye! Long live the secret zone!
-T

you just come here to dump your negativity on us that skeedaddle out until the next time you have some vitriol to unload

Busted! You should totally gather up as many people as you can, tell them this is the best movie ever and buy tickets for all of them. I'm sure you'll all walk away with a sense of wonder and enjoyment. Bring the kids too, because nothing will get those young minds going like seeing popop smearing he shit filled diaper on the germappobic kids face for no apparent reason. Should be a great conversation starter about incontinence and the importance of proper diaper disposal.

Oh and I nearly forgot the young boy is a grade A rapper, so there is that little gem as well. And even better is that he ends every rap with "yeah hoo!" Which I didn't realize - from what I now understand all girls like to be called.

Seriously I think M. Night should be shot for making this film. Yeah hooo!

maybe you just didn't "get it"???

If I missed something please enlighten me, but otherwise I stand behind every word. I wish there was something more to get but I don't think so... Please prove me wrong?

by **Spandau Belly** on Mon Dec 21, 2015 6:19 pm

ROOM

This movie is a fictional composite of a bunch of crimes that happen disturbingly often in which a young woman is abducted and held captive for many years by a sicko. It is sort of like 12 YEARS A SLAVE, except it takes place in a time when abducting somebody and then keeping them captive in a shack and beating and raping them is no longer socially acceptable on a wide scale.

This film is really well done in that it commits a substantial amount of screentime to the daily life in captivity. We never see the kidnapper guy outside of his interactions with his captive (played by Brie Larson) and the son he fathered with her in a shed where she has been trapped for the last seven years since she was 17 years old. But he is never characterized as some Jigsaw style horror movie bad guy, his behaviour is actually just like a very normal grouchy working class guy who mostly complains about work and how much shit costs. Which makes it all the more creepy.

What I really liked was how much the film got into how hard it was for everybody once the woman and her son are reintroduced into the outside world. Aside from having written their daughter off as dead, only to find out she is still alive, her parents have a lot of trouble accepting that their newfound grandson is also the rapechild of the man who systematically abused their daughter. They still think of their daughter as a teenager because that's how old she was when she was abducted, so they also have to learn to accept her as an adult and a different person than she was before years of trauma.

The acting is very impressive and natural from Brie Larson, but especially from the kid playing her son, who probably deserves a best supporting actor nomination. I think this is a unique and very well-done film.

by **Maui** on Mon Dec 28, 2015 11:01 pm

The best thing about the movie Joy is Jennifer Lawrence's sunglasses.

While Lawrence gives a good performance, it's not enough for the film to really be successful. They are trying to sell this movie with the teaming of Jennifer Lawrence and Bradley Cooper and hey, why not....but it's not always going to be a win. I found the supporting casts performances quite good, especially Isabella Rosellini. My biggest complaint is that the storyline was continually being pulled in different directions. The movie tries too hard to be offbeat then it switches gears back to normalcy and this makes for a very disjointed film.

by **Maui** on Thu Dec 31, 2015 11:46 am

The Diary of a Teenage Girl. Raging hormones, drama queens and a messed up love triangle. This coming of age film has it all. It's a very honest look at a 15 year old's insight into her own sexuality. It reminded me of the film Welcome to the Dollhouse. The setting is a free spirited San Francisco in the 1970s. Bel Powley, Alexander Skarsgård and Kristen Wiig are all very good in this film. This is Marielle Heller's directorial debut and it's impressive.

by **Maui** on Wed Jan 27, 2016 8:46 pm

How many posts in a row until I can call this my own thread?

I watched The Big Short last night. This movie can be difficult to follow at times due to the complexity of the subject matter, however I did appreciate the comical side of looking at CDOs, hedge funds and tranche documents as it relates to class A, class B and Class C.

Seriously though, this is a fantastic movie. It's a lot of fun too. Steve Carrell is impressive in this. Christian Bale's not too shabby on the drums either. I don't know if I liked Ryan Gosling talking to the camera all the time. Only Kevin Spacey in HOC knows how to pull this off.

8.5/10

by **Spandau Belly** on Wed Jan 27, 2016 9:50 pm

Maui wrote:How many posts in a row until I can call this my own thread?

It used to be mine, I bequeath it to you. Enjoy.

by **Ribbons** on Wed Jan 27, 2016 11:17 pm

Maui wrote:How many posts in a row until I can call this my own thread?

I watched The Big Short last night. This movie can be difficult to follow at times due to the complexity of the subject matter, however I did appreciate the comical side of looking at CDOs, hedge funds and tranche documents as it relates to class A, class B and Class C.

Seriously though, this is a fantastic movie. It's a lot of fun too. Steve Carrell is impressive in this. Christian Bale's not too shabby on the drums either. I don't know if I liked Ryan Gosling talking to the camera all the time. Only Kevin Spacey in HOC knows how to pull this off.

8.5/10

Hey, it usually takes me a while to see movies! Like three years after release on average.

I have, however, seen The Big Short. My one complaint about the film is that it becomes very morose and didactic by the end. Obviously it's serious subject matter, but if I wanted to watch Too Big To Fail I could have done that, 5 years ago. The first 3/4 are great, though, with funny characters and an array of clever cinematic tricks to explain the subprime housing market. It was weirdly distracting to me that Christian Bale didn't interact with anybody else in the cast.

by **Maui** on Sat Jan 30, 2016 9:53 am

I was also waiting for Bale to join the crew in Las Vegas and party it up. NOT! It didn't bother me that he was isolated in his role. It actually made sense given his neurotic state through most of the film. He was in his own little world...crunching numbers and listening to Metallica at insane volumes. Absent minded professor, introvert...yep!

by **TheBaxter** on Tue Feb 23, 2016 11:13 am

The VVitch

the trailer for this film promised a slow, atmospheric, creepy film, and that's what it delivered. if you're an impatient sort, you might get bored waiting for stuff to finally start happening. but once it does, it's worth the wait. the authentic dialogue of the film can be a little difficult to understand or follow at first, but once you get in the flow it's clear what's going on. this is a film that succeeds on the terms it promises.

on another note, i'll never look at Finchy from the Office the same way again.

by **Ribbons** on Tue Feb 23, 2016 1:05 pm

Wait, who is Finchy from The Office again?

by **so sorry** on Tue Feb 23, 2016 1:18 pm

TheBaxter wrote:The VVitch

the trailer for this film promised a slow, atmospheric, creepy film, and that's what it delivered. if you're an impatient sort, you might get bored waiting for stuff to finally start happening. but once it does, it's worth the wait. the authentic dialogue of the film can be a little difficult to understand or follow at first, but once you get in the flow it's clear what's going on. this is a film that succeeds on the terms it promises.

on another note, i'll never look at Finchy from the Office the same way again.

So would you describe it as "scary"?

And yeah, who is Flinchy?

by **TheBaxter** on Tue Feb 23, 2016 1:18 pm

by **TheBaxter** on Tue Feb 23, 2016 1:20 pm

so sorry wrote:
TheBaxter wrote:The VVitch

the trailer for this film promised a slow, atmospheric, creepy film, and that's what it delivered. if you're an impatient sort, you might get bored waiting for stuff to finally start happening. but once it does, it's worth the wait. the authentic dialogue of the film can be a little difficult to understand or follow at first, but once you get in the flow it's clear what's going on. this is a film that succeeds on the terms it promises.

on another note, i'll never look at Finchy from the Office the same way again.

So would you describe it as "scary"?

And yeah, who is Flinchy?

i didn't find it "scary" but i don't really find hardly any movies scary. i guess it could be scary to someone. it's got some creepy and unsettling bits.

by **Ribbons** on Wed Feb 24, 2016 1:19 pm

Audiences seem to agree with you. This has a C- on CinemaScore, which is really bad. I have a feeling a lot of people went to see this based on the advertising that it was the scariest movie ever and felt cheated, regardless of whether it's any good.

by **TheBaxter** on Wed Feb 24, 2016 2:08 pm

Ribbons wrote:Audiences seem to agree with you. This has a C- on CinemaScore, which is really bad. I have a feeling a lot of people went to see this based on the advertising that it was the scariest movie ever and felt cheated, regardless of whether it's any good.

yeah i had the feeling this movie was probably too slow and artsy for most people. if someone went in expecting The Conjuring or Insidious, they'd probably think this film was just weird and boring. i really enjoyed it, but i don't think it's something that would be appealing to the average moviegoer, or teenage kids who want to go see a scary movie with jump scares and freaky looking ghosts.

by **Ribbons** on Tue Apr 19, 2016 3:49 pm

I just saw The vvitch and have decided I would like to live deliciously

by **caruso_stalker217** on Sun Jul 03, 2016 2:01 pm

Grandma took the baby for the weekend so Mrs. Caruso and I went to see FINDING DORY, a talking fish movie.

This is the first Pixar movie I've seen since UP and I see they're still into breaking the audience's heart in the first five minutes.

The movie starts off a little shaky as the journey kicks off and feels a bit contrived. Once the adventure really gets going and new characters are introduced it becomes a lot of fun.

There are many laffs and goofy bits and a lot of heart. Becoming a dad has further softened me and I got all misty-eyed several times.

The bit with the clam was my favorite part.

by **TheBaxter** on Sun Jul 03, 2016 4:33 pm

caruso_stalker217 wrote:The bit with the clam was my favorite part.

that's what he said.

by **Maui** on Wed Jul 06, 2016 11:55 am

I saw The Shallows last night. As far as rogue shark movies go, this is a fairly solid film.
Blake Lively gives a great performance as the stranded surfer that goes head to head with the great white.
The shark looks very realistic and the underwater scenes are quite eerie. This is definitely a movie I would add to my shark horror collection. Jaws of course still owns this genre but this movie is quite good and is getting some decent reviews. Definitely worth checking out.

by **bastard_robo** on Thu Dec 29, 2016 5:18 am

Watched Spectral last night on Netflix.

Movies a hell of a lot of fun. Feels like the movie that Final Fantasy Spirits Within wanted to be, and what a hardcore "Ghostbusters" film could be as well. FX are top notch.

by **Peven** on Thu Dec 29, 2016 1:21 pm

saw "Fences" last night and it is an unabashed stage play adaptation, a small film set almost exclusively in one location, very basic camera work, and dialogue that at times seems stilted and forced. some really solid acting, though, the weakest performance is from Washington, to be honest. its is long, too, about 2:20. BUT, i liked it overall and it has stayed with me, so that earns it points.

by **Fievel** on Wed Feb 15, 2017 1:40 am

Saw Lego Batman with the family today.
Probably the most entertaining Batman film I've seen. I can't get over how much I was laughing throughout the film. There were so many quick jokes and references during the movie. It will likely take many viewings to get them all. And the overall plot of the film* is so absurd for being part of the Batman universe (every Batman film is directly referenced at some point)....even though this version of Batman is part of the Lego film universe..... and that barely makes sense, if at all.

*The plot being that Joker gets himself intentionally sent to The Phantom Zone with the intention of recruiting the worst villains there to bring back to Earth to destroy Gotham... all because Batman denies the bond and relationship that he and Joker have. And those recruited villains include The Eye of Sauron, Voldemort, Dracula, the Gremlins, and the Wicked Witch from Wizard of Oz, among others. I didn't really get this from the trailers i saw, so the inclusion of those other-property villains really through me for a loop and had me laughing my ass off.

Very entertaining film.