Pacino's "Great Actors, Lots Of Crap Movies."

Discuss all the finest actors, living or dead -- their films, their talents, and their weird, drug-related escapades.

Postby DanielSan on Thu Dec 22, 2005 12:48 pm

havocSchultz wrote:
ya... damn straight we'd all pay to the see that... it could be big - cutthroat island big... see...

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She must be cold.
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Postby havocSchultz on Thu Dec 22, 2005 12:50 pm

DanielSan wrote:
havocSchultz wrote:
ya... damn straight we'd all pay to the see that... it could be big - cutthroat island big... see...

Image


She must be cold.


Cold-Hearted for not wanting to star in my movie... arrrggghhhhhh.... i even would've put her name in the credits... right behind mine - and the words "Porky's - based on a wet dream by every single pre-pubescent punk from then till forever..."
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Postby cap on Thu Dec 22, 2005 5:32 pm

Vegeta wrote:
I really think elisha cuthbert should fire her agent cause he won't even let me get the script to my latest opus to her (and by opus i mean an epic re-telling of Porky's set in the 1980's where she plays every single female in the movie - even the nasty gym coach in the shower... she would also play every single male character in the movie...) aw hell... it was just gonna be me and a camera... i already had a hole cut into the shower wall...

I'd pay too see that flick!

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Mmmm... Elisha Cuthbert


Im seeing that flick now ..... in my mind...... mmmmmmmmmm!

Yeah, I need help.
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Postby Shane on Thu Dec 22, 2005 5:37 pm

Agent Alonzo wrote:David Hasselhoff still hasn't got an Oscar... I think he needs to get an agent who can get him the parts that will being him the gold...


I think with David's talent and all his agent worked miracles for him.
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Postby wonkabar on Thu Dec 22, 2005 6:20 pm

Robert DeNiro. What's next, Diet-Coke commercials?

"My city is NY...my drink...is Coca-ColaZERO"
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Postby wonkabar on Thu Dec 22, 2005 6:40 pm

Just about everbody that ever starred in a "teen movie" in the 1980's, with the exception of Tom Cruise.
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Postby Cpt Kirks 2pay on Thu Dec 22, 2005 7:05 pm

You do know that a lot of these actors mentioned here aren't that good in the first place.

It's more a case of agents who should fire their actors.

Ewan Mcgregor and John Travolta? (I'm still pissed off that the Mods haven't seen the light to interpret when someone writes 'John Travolta' into 'studly whiney gentlemen'.)
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Postby Cpt Kirks 2pay on Thu Dec 22, 2005 7:09 pm

wonkabar wrote:Robert DeNiro. What's next, Diet-Coke commercials?

"My city is NY...my drink...is Coca-ColaZERO"


He looks so fed up and pissed off in that commercial!!!!

Is his ''bad mood' facial expression' what he calls acting these days?

Or, repeating his lines 3 times.... 3 times... 3... tiiiiimes!!
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Postby wonkabar on Fri Dec 23, 2005 7:57 am

TODAY! TODAY! TODAY!
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Postby wonkabar on Fri Dec 23, 2005 8:05 am

They should have gotten DeNiro to be the "can you hear me now"-guy.


"Can you hear me now?
Well there's nobody else here
Can you hear me now?
Who the fuck do you think you're talkin' to?
Can you hear me now?... you fuck, you mother-fucker you! WHAT DID I SAY?! WHAT DID I SAY?!!!!!?

Good..."
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Postby Brutal Deluxe on Fri Dec 23, 2005 9:18 am

hate to say it: Harrison Ford. He aint been in anything decent for ages...
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Postby DennisMM on Fri Dec 23, 2005 11:35 am

wonkabar wrote:Robert DeNiro. What's next, Diet-Coke commercials?

"My city is NY...my drink...is Coca-ColaZERO"


When the AmEx commercial comes on I make that face with the lips rolled under, to make Julia laugh. One time I squeaked some air out between them, and she laughed hard enough to cough.
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Pacino's "Great Actors, Lots Of Crap Movies."

Postby TonyWilson on Mon Oct 29, 2007 7:44 am

We've all done it, you're browsing some rental choices and you spot an obscure movie with a great actor in. You think it's bound to be worth a watch, and then, you start watching, quickly realising it's so bad you don't know whether to laugh or cry as you see a loved actor either knowingly or unwittingly try to commit career suicide. It's even worse when it's an actor who can usually be be fantastic and yet they seem to be doing more and more of these unmitigated turds, either through lack of choice for better roles or because they're just that egotistical they think their mere prescence will make the material brilliant.

So here, thanks to both Pacino's (86845 for the idea and Al for being a shining example), we can disseminate and discuss this phenomenon and come up with a list of the worst offenders

I'll start with Michael Caine, a man almost as famous for starring in shit as he is for starring in gold, he's had a good half decade now of making great pictures but the 80's and 90's were just fucking appalling e.g On Deadly Ground, the Steven Seagal starring "eco-action" movie that was probably more toxic than the chemicals Caine's bad guy was pumping into the wilderness.

Then there's Dennis Hopper who's not only starred in, but actually directed one of those most dreaded of all movies, an Alan Smithee film. The godawful Catchfire, which as (un)luck would have it also stars two other good nominees, Jodie Foster and John Turturro.

So if we start with some suggestions and discussion then we can get a mod to add a poll and let the witch hunt begin.
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Postby judderman on Mon Oct 29, 2007 7:49 am

I wish this was more difficult

John Hurt

Ben Kinglsey

Jeremy Irons

Christopher Lee

Christopher Walken

Gary Oldman

And hell, why not the rest of the Godfather cast?

Brando, Caan and de Niro have all done their share of crap
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Postby thebostonlocksmith on Mon Oct 29, 2007 8:03 am

What was that film with Samuel L Jackson and Eugene Levy... I like both of them and yet in the film 'The man' (i believe) they were both really and truly awful... When it felt the need to start with the fart gags i knew it was time to stop...

Not really a terrible fim but in 'See no evil, hear no evil' Kevin Spacey plays the main bad guy 'Kirgo' and he fucking sucks...
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Postby colonel_lugz on Mon Oct 29, 2007 8:05 am

Michael Caine in Jaws The Revenge. "It ate my bloody plane"

Oh dear me
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Postby Peven on Mon Oct 29, 2007 8:10 am

wasn't Lawrence Olivier in some real stinkers?
also

Orsen Welles
Sydney Portier
Peter O'Toole
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Postby Pacino86845 on Mon Oct 29, 2007 8:32 am

HAHAH, love the thread title!! I was off for lunch, but good on you for kicking things off!!!

It's cool that we're already building a fairly comprehensive list, but we should also try to explain a bit for each actor what makes 'em great and what films they were in that were crap. :)
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Postby Fawst on Mon Oct 29, 2007 9:35 am

Viggo Mortenson. American Yakuza. Nuff said on that one.

Michael Ironside. He's no A-lister by any stretch, but the man is good. Probably my favorite "side" bad guy in any film, Richter in Total Recall. The man was in fucking Karate Kid 4, which as we all know, starred Oscar-winning actress Hillary Swank. Quick side note to KK4: I used to work with the guy who bungie jumped into the gazebo in the prom scene (the actual actor, not the stunt guy). Turns out he got injured doing it, and when they have a shot of him being released from the harness going "Ow. Ow. Ow," he wasn't faking it. Which makes it even funnier because he sounds so ridiculous. I wonder where that guy is today, he was a funny sonofabitch...
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Postby godzillasushi on Mon Oct 29, 2007 10:18 am

Sam Neill seems to be a pretty good actor but then he did Jurassic Park 3 and some crappy Merlin movies that I probably never have to see. Plus, quite a few TV things. Lots really.

Wierd choices.
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Postby havocSchultz on Mon Oct 29, 2007 10:20 am

Would Lance Henriksen be considered a good actor...?

Because if so, then I'd also say he's been in the most amount of crap and drivel and pointless unmitigated shit...
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Postby tapehead on Mon Oct 29, 2007 10:30 am

havocSchultz wrote:Would Lance Henriksen be considered a good actor...?


He is, but like Ironsides and say, Edward James Olmos, he's also always had a bit of a b-movie / television actor thing going. All really great actors, though...with bad acne scars. Maybe I should start a thread about great actors with bad acne scars...
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Postby havocSchultz on Mon Oct 29, 2007 10:34 am

tapehead wrote:
havocSchultz wrote:Would Lance Henriksen be considered a good actor...?


He is, but like Ironsides and say, Edward James Olmos, he's also always had a bit of a b-movie / television actor thing going. All really great actors, though...with bad acne scars. Maybe I should start a thread about great actors with bad acne scars...


Brad Pitt...?
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Postby Dee E. Goppstober on Mon Oct 29, 2007 10:43 am

tapehead wrote:
havocSchultz wrote:Would Lance Henriksen be considered a good actor...?


He is, but like Ironsides and say, Edward James Olmos, he's also always had a bit of a b-movie / television actor thing going. All really great actors, though...with bad acne scars. Maybe I should start a thread about great actors with bad acne scars...



Bill Murray on number one on that one. And I'm sure he's been in some crap movies as well.
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Postby TonyWilson on Mon Oct 29, 2007 10:48 am

tapehead wrote:
havocSchultz wrote:Would Lance Henriksen be considered a good actor...?


He is, but like Ironsides and say, Edward James Olmos, he's also always had a bit of a b-movie / television actor thing going. All really great actors, though...with bad acne scars. Maybe I should start a thread about great actors with bad acne scars...


Robert Davi is King of AWBAS
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Postby tapehead on Mon Oct 29, 2007 10:54 am

TonyWilson wrote:
tapehead wrote:
havocSchultz wrote:Would Lance Henriksen be considered a good actor...?


He is, but like Ironsides and say, Edward James Olmos, he's also always had a bit of a b-movie / television actor thing going. All really great actors, though...with bad acne scars. Maybe I should start a thread about great actors with bad acne scars...


Robert Davi is King of AWBAS


Oh fuck yeah, he's totally in the club with these guys
The AWBAS club.
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Postby Cpt Kirks 2pay on Mon Oct 29, 2007 11:02 am

tapehead wrote:
TonyWilson wrote:[quote= "tapehead"][quote= "havocSchultz"]Would Lance Henriksen be considered a good actor...?


He is, but like Ironsides and say, Edward James Olmos, he's also always had a bit of a b-movie / television actor thing going. All really great actors, though...with bad acne scars. Maybe I should start a thread about great actors with bad acne scars...


Robert Davi is King of AWBAS[/quote]

Oh fuck yeah, he's totally in the club with these guys
The AWBAS club.[/quote]

Considering I was gonna put myself down as good actor in bad movies (The Riddle anyone? That piece of shit Vinnie Jones movie that went straight to free DVD with the The Daily Mail on Sunday - all with me doing a 20 second continuity leap forward in time when they cut to a different camera angle?), I think you should totally do the acne thread, seeing as my skin condition before the days of Roaccutane wonder drug, have still left my face fucked up.

Meanwhile, how about Sarah Jessica Parker for all of this actor in bad movies with bad acne leaving her messed up?






Oh no! Wouldn't work! Her fucked up face isn't down to acne. It's her horse shaped face being in the horse nose bag too long.


I'm gonna start a thread on that.

And THEN make a thread about that thread.

And THEN make a thread about THAT thread.

And THEN make a thread about THAT thread.
And THEN make a thread about THAT thread.
And THEN make a thread about THAT thread.
And THEN make a thread about THAT thread.
And THEN make a thread about THAT thread.And THEN make a thread about THAT thread.vAnd THEN make a thread about THAT thread.And THEN make a thread about THAT thread.vAnd THEN make a thread about THAT thread.And THEN make a thread about THAT thread.And THEN make a thread about THAT thread.And THEN make a thread about THAT thread.And THEN make a thread about THAT thread.And THEN make a thread about THAT thread.And THEN make a thread about THAT thread.And THEN make a thread about THAT thread.And THEN make a thread about THAT thread.And THEN make a thread about THAT thread.And THEN make a thread about THAT thread.And THEN make a thread about THAT thread.
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Postby Pacino86845 on Mon Oct 29, 2007 11:03 am

Joe Viterelli also belongs in that club...
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Postby Fried Gold on Mon Oct 29, 2007 11:04 am

Any of the good actors that sullied their reputations with those Pirates films.

judderman wrote:Ben Kinglsey

I'm still not convinced he's a "great" actor, but that's for another debate.
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Postby tapehead on Mon Oct 29, 2007 11:07 am

Yep, Jelly is in.

I think Lord Kingsley has some acne scars too.
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Postby Orcus on Mon Oct 29, 2007 11:12 am

Would Lance Henriksen be considered a good actor...?



He is if you like Bigfoot/Sasquatch movies. How many did he do? 3?4?
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Postby judderman on Mon Oct 29, 2007 11:14 am

Fried Gold wrote:Any of the good actors that sullied their reputations with those Pirates films.

judderman wrote:Ben Kinglsey

I'm still not convinced he's a "great" actor, but that's for another debate.


He was great as Gandhi, and as Meyer Lansky, and as Itzak Stern (in Schindler's List), and in Sexy Beast. All very different roles, so yes, I'd call him a great actor.
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Postby judderman on Mon Oct 29, 2007 11:16 am

And speaking of Lance Henriksen, what about poor Michael Beihn? Guy was on the way to being the thinking woman's Van Damme and now he's doing Left Behind sequels.
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Postby tapehead on Mon Oct 29, 2007 11:25 am

Orcus wrote:
Would Lance Henriksen be considered a good actor...?



He is if you like Bigfoot/Sasquatch movies. How many did he do? 3?4?


...two.
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Postby havocSchultz on Mon Oct 29, 2007 11:26 am

Two of the best damn Bigfoot/Sasquatch movies ever MADE!!!
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Postby thebostonlocksmith on Mon Oct 29, 2007 11:27 am

judderman wrote:
Fried Gold wrote:Any of the good actors that sullied their reputations with those Pirates films.

judderman wrote:Ben Kinglsey

I'm still not convinced he's a "great" actor, but that's for another debate.


He was great as Gandhi, and as Meyer Lansky, and as Itzak Stern (in Schindler's List), and in Sexy Beast. All very different roles, so yes, I'd call him a great actor.


He was really good in house of sand and fog too... Not a great film, but an excellent bit of acting...
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Postby tapehead on Mon Oct 29, 2007 11:28 am

havocSchultz wrote:Two of the best damn Bigfoot/Sasquatch movies ever MADE!!!


damn straight - he's also, along with John Hurt, one of the all-time best android actors ever.
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Postby havocSchultz on Mon Oct 29, 2007 11:30 am

tapehead wrote:
havocSchultz wrote:Two of the best damn Bigfoot/Sasquatch movies ever MADE!!!


damn straight - he's also, along with John Hurt, one of the all-time best android actors ever.


Hmmm...

Great Android Actors could be another thread all to itself...
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Postby tapehead on Mon Oct 29, 2007 11:35 am

havocSchultz wrote:
tapehead wrote:
havocSchultz wrote:Two of the best damn Bigfoot/Sasquatch movies ever MADE!!!


damn straight - he's also, along with John Hurt, one of the all-time best android actors ever.


Hmmm...

Great Android Actors could be another thread all to itself...


Plus it would give you a chance to talk about that creepy 'Small Wonder' show again...

OMFG!!! John Hurt has acne scars too!!
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Postby Fawst on Mon Oct 29, 2007 11:36 am

Wow... Michael Biehn was in one of the Left Behind sequels? That's unfortunate. I mean, that's Casper Van Diem (ripoff of Left Behind) territory...
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Postby Cpt Kirks 2pay on Mon Oct 29, 2007 11:40 am

Image

I see no reason why this guy shouldn't be considered for the acne/crap film thread. No. No way, what so - ever.


Three Fugitives is the best movie ever commited to celluloid - EVAAAAHHH!!!!! - And I should know!!! Seeing as I haven't seen every movie ever made!!!
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Postby TonyWilson on Mon Oct 29, 2007 11:42 am

tapehead wrote:
havocSchultz wrote:Two of the best damn Bigfoot/Sasquatch movies ever MADE!!!


damn straight - he's also, along with John Hurt, one of the all-time best android actors ever.


When did John Hurt play an android?
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Postby Fawst on Mon Oct 29, 2007 11:45 am

Cpt Kirks 2pay wrote:Image

I see no reason why this guy shouldn't be considered for the acne/crap film thread. No. No way, what so - ever.


Three Fugitives is the best movie ever commited to celluloid - EVAAAAHHH!!!!! - And I should know!!! Seeing as I haven't seen every movie ever made!!!


I saw that in a theater. With 3 other people. My mom was one of them. The only other people in the theater were the other two. They left. We should have.
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Postby tapehead on Mon Oct 29, 2007 11:49 am

TonyWilson wrote:
tapehead wrote:
havocSchultz wrote:Two of the best damn Bigfoot/Sasquatch movies ever MADE!!!


damn straight - he's also, along with John Hurt, one of the all-time best android actors ever.


When did John Hurt play an android?

nah you're right - I don't think he ever did. I was thinking of him as the android in Alien for some reason.
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Postby Orcus on Mon Oct 29, 2007 11:52 am

tapehead wrote:
Orcus wrote:
Would Lance Henriksen be considered a good actor...?



He is if you like Bigfoot/Sasquatch movies. How many did he do? 3?4?


...two.


Could have sworn it was more, or did he star in another movie with a big hairy guy?
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Postby TonyWilson on Mon Oct 29, 2007 11:52 am

tapehead wrote:
TonyWilson wrote:
tapehead wrote:
havocSchultz wrote:Two of the best damn Bigfoot/Sasquatch movies ever MADE!!!


damn straight - he's also, along with John Hurt, one of the all-time best android actors ever.


When did John Hurt play an android?

nah you're right - I don't think he ever did. I was thinking of him as the android in Alien for some reason.



:oops:

I just spent 10 minutes clicking on every film on John Hurt's IMDB page, going "Android... what? How did I miss this, I'm so not a geek"


Phew.
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Postby Cpt Kirks 2pay on Mon Oct 29, 2007 11:53 am

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Discuss.
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Postby Pacino86845 on Mon Oct 29, 2007 11:54 am

What are you trying to say, Kirks, that Sean's little Sir has acne scars? :shock:
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Postby TonyWilson on Mon Oct 29, 2007 11:55 am

Cpt Kirks 2pay wrote:Image


Discuss.



Bwahahahahahahaha


I like it Kirk. Although, rather perversely, I think Connery is crap and Zardoz great.
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Postby TonyWilson on Mon Oct 29, 2007 11:56 am

Pacino86845 wrote:What are you trying to say, Kirks, that Sean's little Sir has acne scars? :shock:


I think he's saying if you ever saw Kirk in that get up the mental scarring would be far worse than any acne.
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