i finally watched M. Night Shyamalan's OLD on HBO Max.
this movie would more aptly be called M. Night Shyamalan's BAD. or maybe M. Night Shyamalan's DUM.
we all know M Night Hopalong's movies are basically really long twilight zone episodes. some are good. some are bad. some are REALLY bad. this is like one of the really bad ones. think The Happening crossed with the ending of The Village. it's that bad. well, almost, the Village ending was worse. it also has a really amateurish feel to it. some of the shots (like the ones in the canyon when people try to escape the beach and go dizzy) are like something you'd see in a low-budget film student short. maybe that was the intention, but it doesn't work.
it's also really dumb. the whole premise is these people are on a beach that makes you age prematurely. but there's no logical consistency to how this premise is applied. as they age, their medical conditions worsen and sometimes kill them. one woman has a tumor that goes from golfball to softball to canteloupe-sized in seconds. yet, nobody's hair grows? or their fingernails, or their toenails?
and then there's the food issue: when dropping them off at the beach, the driver (played by Hopalong himself) gives them a giant trunk of food, and says something about how kids eat a lot when they ask him why they would need so much food. but it's not nearly enough food to sustain even one person for the amount of time they age while at the beach, let alone the whole group. later on, a baby dies almost immediately after birth because it can't nurse fast enough to survive yet nobody else on the beach starves to death? it's not just babies or kids who need food to survive.
the ending (which isn't really a twist, just a reveal of the motivations of the people who took them to the beach) would probably be fine, but their timing's not so great. making a lab full of greedy medical scientists the bad guys in a sci-fi/horror movie is hardly new or original, but given this movie was released during the height of anti-medicine, anti-vax conspiracy theories during a pandemic, it feels a little gross. i wouldn't be surprised to hear the next QAnon vax conspiracy involves big pharma killing people on a beach to test their vaccines.
in summary, i'd say skip this for a really scary movie set on the beach, like DiCaprio's The Beach, or Bette Midler's Beaches, or Beach Blanket Bingo. M Night Shamalan's OLD is just M Night Shamalan's MEH.