Star Wars 9: SKYWALKERS

[Wolfpack]

Too much story packed into one film, never allowing a moment to breathe. New characters are never even moderately developed. So much blatant fan service designed to upset no one...
..and I ate that shit up, loving every minute of the ride.

Gotta introduce underdeveloped characters so that you have material for new EU novels!

[Ribbons]

I've never been a particularly big Star Wars fan, so take this for what it's worth when I say that I kind of hated Episode 9. It's a bad ending by a director who's notorious for bad endings; all the parts with any dramatic heft are basically lifted from Return of the Jedi. And while I gave The Force Awakens a pass for essentially remaking A New Hope for a new generation, the rest of the series had to do something different to justify its existence. Acting like this is somehow a satisfactory conclusion to what they're calling "The Skywalker Saga" when the Skywalker saga concluded the exact same way 36 years ago is almost offensive. The rest of it is Abrams' worst storytelling instincts on display, as the plot bounces from MacGuffin to MacGuffin to MacGuffin -- we need to find a secret knife that's got a secret language written on it that leads us to a secret map that leads us to a secret, weird space GPS that leads us to Palpatine's secret fortress…? -- and it moves so quickly in an effort to distract you from the fact that none of it makes any sense that there's barely any time for a moment to breathe. And though I know they brought the character of Leia back in an attempt to give fans closure, all the scenes with Carrie Fisher (or the back of someone dressed up to look like Carrie Fisher) are really weird and kind of off-putting. The few lines she actually has are obviously random B-roll from the last two movies that they had to then write the scene around, and when they dub dialogue in from off-screen, I can't turn off the part of my brain that knows it's not her speaking and she's not really there. I get that it was a hard choice, but I'm not sure it was the right choice. It's also hard for me to shut out the behind-the-scenes controversy that's plagued every production since Disney bought Lucasfilm, and so while some fans may welcome a return to form after The Last Jedi or the generous heapings of fan service meant to remind people why they love Star Wars in the first place, I see a franchise that doesn't seem to know what it actually wants to be.


That said, I felt nothing when they brought back musical themes from the original trilogy at the end, or when they gave a loving nod to the birth of the series during a ritual celebration that takes place in the second act, so it's possible that this movie wasn't made for me.

[Fievel]

...I can't turn off the part of my brain...

For some reason, this phrase alone triggered (god I hate that word) something in me I don't think I've ever articulated before - I never have watched any Star Wars movie on its first viewing with any sort of critical eye. Never. I'm solely blaming this on my love of the OT as a child (saw Star Wars & ROTJ in the theater - my mom thought ESB was too intense for me, then bought me multiple story books that told said "too intense" story, Nice, eh?). My initial viewing of the prequels, and now sequels & side films, was all about the experience - as if it were a theme park ride. I guess I'm the Star Wars junkie that's looking to match that first experience, but never quite getting there.

Why am I saying any of this? Because I agree with every fact you pointed out. 100%! But having seen the film after a great dinner, in a Dolby Theater with such unmatchable sound, with my entire family (first SW film with everyone*) as well as my sister and nephew, and all of this in super-comfy recliners that had butt-rumbling subwoofers in each of them...none of that mattered. That the movie was almost nonstop action made it essentially a thrill ride for me. The humor and back-and-forth banter was the best since the original trilogy, making it a fun ride. The Emperor coming back (spoiled in trailers) and monologuing during the fleet battle was like an upside-down loop followed a few moments later by a corkscrew - it's been done before (Luke & Vader) and before (Anakin & Dooku), but there was enough difference to make it interesting for me.

I guarantee you that everything you pointed out will bother me in future viewings, but it's a matter of how much - will I still enjoy it after multiple viewings (as I have the sequels & R1), or will its issues become too much to ignore (the prequels & Solo for me) and cause me to lose the love?

I guess all this comes back to your first line- "I've never been a particularly big Star Wars fan..."
And I just wrote a novel explaining the blueprint of my personal SW fandom.
Shit.

Thank god I'm married and my Mom is dead...otherwise there would be a basement with my name on it.

*My youngest son (age 8) has, up until about a month ago, refused to watch any Star Wars film. Why? Because he has always loved the Stormtroopers. He thought their armor and masks were really cool. But whenever he watched a movie, they always died. So because of that, he stopped watching them and never went to see the new movies at the theater....until a month ago when he joined the whole family and watched Episodes 7&8 in preparation for 9. Now he's hooked.

[TheBaxter]

i haven't seen this film yet and probably wont' till after xmas, but...

i haven't watched most of these films with a critical eye the first time either. the OT obviously because i was a kid, and kids don't have critical eyes, which is why we liked so much crap during the 80s. the ultimate proof is that i actually enjoyed The Phantom Menace the first time i watched it, in a packed theater, on opening night. these days, the only time i would consider watching it again is if i just ingested poison and needed something to make me puke. the OT is so embedded in my brain's nostalgia cells that i won't ever not enjoy them, but every other SW film since has gotten worse each time i've watched it... except Last Jedi, which is the only film i actually DID watch with a critical eye on first viewing. i came out of it feeling really mixed, but mostly preoccupied with the bad parts (the slo-mo starship chase, the convoluted and useless Canto Bight subplot that could have been avoided simply by having one character tell another character where they were headed from the beginning) but subsequent viewings i've been able to enjoy the good parts, mostly involving Luke and Rey, and the ways bits of the mythology get subverted, more each time.

so maybe this final film will ultimately age better if i actually go into it more jaded?

[Fievel]

so maybe this final film will ultimately age better if i actually go into it more jaded?

Genius! Either it sucks and you're justified in your jaded feelings, or you'll enjoy it. Either way, you win.

[TheBaxter]

so maybe this final film will ultimately age better if i actually go into it more jaded?

Genius! Either it sucks and you're justified in your jaded feelings, or you'll enjoy it. Either way, you win.

i'd love to take credit for it, but the source of my wisdom and life philosophy is lloyd dobler

[TheBaxter]

crap. i wrote a review in here last week, but it looks like it didn't get posted. oh well, i don't have the energy to repeat everything, or even to try to remember most of this forgettable film. there was nothing in this movie i loved, and nothing i hated, it all just sort of washed over me in a wave of 'meh'. these films never made me care about these characters enough to care what happened to them in the end. that pretty much sums up this film for me.

two things: all the leia stuff was bad, and they should've killed her off in the previous film. her role is reduced to a bunch of cryptic one-liners and silent worried looks that don't mesh with the rest of the film, and do a disservice to a character who was always a blunt straight-talker in past films. cutting and pasting a performance like this together out of the leftover scraps of past films is no better than just giving her the CGI Peter Cushing treatment would've been, but at least then they could've made her part in the film fit better.

also, how the hell did Palpatine build a massive fleet of death-star-firing star destroyers on that hidden planet? were all those robed figures in the auditorium the zombie remnants of the "contractors" who got blown up while building the death star in ROTJ? it took 18 years for the emperor to build a single death star between ROTS and ANH, and two more films to half-build a 2nd death star... but now he's suddenly able to build thousands of them, and without the massive resources of the Empire to draw on?

[Fievel]

also, how the hell did Palpatine build a massive fleet of death-star-firing star destroyers on that hidden planet? were all those robed figures in the auditorium the zombie remnants of the "contractors" who got blown up while building the death star in ROTJ? it took 18 years for the emperor to build a single death star between ROTS and ANH, and two more films to half-build a 2nd death star... but now he's suddenly able to build thousands of them, and without the massive resources of the Empire to draw on?

Former Imperial day laborers.
Dudes out in the spaceport with signs "Will help build planet-killing spaceships for food."
Gungans.....cuz fuck those guys.

[so sorry]

My intital reaction to Episode 9 was "not bad, better than I anticipated, but just don't think about it in any detail and you'll be fine".

Then I started to think about it in detail, and man does this thing fall to pieces.

Aside from the massive illogical problems (as noted above for example, how the f did Palpatine build/man/hundreds of new/better destroyers in that amount of time), some of the more personal plotlines I had issues with. I really think they screwed up by shoehorning Carrie Fisher in this one. And I call cop out for having Rey declare herself a Skywalker at the end like that, and not own up to her true heritage. #BeYouRey

My list of gripes is too long, and maybe more of them have to do with MY feelings towards star wars, so I'll just say that overall, the final trilogy was just OK for me, but leaps and bounds better than the prequels (which lets face it, is some of the worst filmmaking out there). I'm happy to move on if they are, and find a new set of characters work with (I think? I don't even know what the plan is moving forward).

I did like the Han Solo cameo, which honestly took me by surprise (mostly because my mind was wandering at that point with the endless light saber battle).

[TheBaxter]

i think these movies would have been better off if they had focused solely on the new characters. these films did nothing to make me care about the new characters, and managed to make me stop caring about the old characters at the same time. we all knew leia was going to die, so it didn't carry as much weight as it should have (and all the weird scenes of her shoehorned into the first part of the film almost made it feel like a relief when she finally kicked the bucket). and chewie's "death" didn't carry any weight because it was obvious he wasn't on the ship that exploded, because they wouldn't dispatch an OT character so offhandedly.

i think this trilogy would have been more successful if it had been set further in the future, and luke and leia and han were nothing but stories and legends for the new characters. instead they tried to balance between the old and new characters, and the end result felt disjointed and unsatisfying for all of them. i have no doubt though, that there will be plenty of new Rey material, whether in films or tv or what. episodes VII-IX felt like one long origin story for her, especially where the final film ends.

[so sorry]

i
i think this trilogy would have been more successful if it had been set further in the future, and luke and leia and han were nothing but stories and legends for the new characters. instead they tried to balance between the old and new characters, and the end result felt disjointed and unsatisfying for all of them. i have no doubt though, that there will be plenty of new Rey material, whether in films or tv or what. episodes VII-IX felt like one long origin story for her, especially where the final film ends.

They kinda are doing that in the Mandolorian, with the baby yoda and its force powers not really being recognized by anyone (as "the force"). And that's not set in the future, but right after Return of the Jedi.

Listen, they shouldn't have "tried to balance" old and new characters in the Prequels either, but they did. Freaking C3PO being BUILT BY DARTH VADER!!!!!! R2D2 knew EVERYTHING that happened to Anikan too!

[TheBaxter]

star wars is a hot mess

first of all, anyone who's still outraged by anything to do with star wars at this point should, in the words of william shatner, "get a life"

that said, all this expanded universe and novelization stuff is really getting out of hand, and sure enough, it's making the entire SW universe appear more and more stupid. so Rey's dad is a failed Palpatine clone? if that's so, then Rey isn't even really Palpatine's granddaughter, since a clone is not the same thing as a son... that would make her closer to his daughter, if anything. how many times are they really gonna retcon her heritage? every new comic book or novel seems to be obsessed with making some new shocking revelation about how some character is related to another character, which is pointless because you're never going to outdo "luke, i am your father" so why bother trying? at this point, the whole series has devolved into ancestry.com with laser guns. it's almost enough to make you nostalgic for midichlorians.

i'm so glad i don't waste time on any of this E.U. crap. Disney seems intent on running this property into the ground after extracting as many dollars as possible from it, so i guess it was all inevitable.

[so sorry]

star wars is a hot mess.

“The Rise of Skywalker” ends with Rey discovering she is the granddaughter of Palpatine. The reveal hinted at Palpatine having a lover who gave birth to his child, but the novelization of the film confirms that’s not the case. After Palpatine’s apparent death in “Return of the Jedi,” he “thrust his consciousness” into a clone body but “the transfer was imperfect.” Various members of the Sith worked to create a host for Palpatine’s consciousness, but not all of these host bodies were successful. One of the failed hosts was “useless” and “powerless” and “a not-quite-idenitcal clone” of the Sith Lord. The clone body was not strong enough to host Palpatine, but it was strong enough to live a life and become Rey’s father.

Good grief. So if the clone was inferior, then shouldn't Rey's Force abilities be inferior too?

[TheBaxter]

star wars is a hot mess.

“The Rise of Skywalker” ends with Rey discovering she is the granddaughter of Palpatine. The reveal hinted at Palpatine having a lover who gave birth to his child, but the novelization of the film confirms that’s not the case. After Palpatine’s apparent death in “Return of the Jedi,” he “thrust his consciousness” into a clone body but “the transfer was imperfect.” Various members of the Sith worked to create a host for Palpatine’s consciousness, but not all of these host bodies were successful. One of the failed hosts was “useless” and “powerless” and “a not-quite-idenitcal clone” of the Sith Lord. The clone body was not strong enough to host Palpatine, but it was strong enough to live a life and become Rey’s father.

Good grief. So if the clone was inferior, then shouldn't Rey's Force abilities be inferior too?

logic is a path to the dark side. logic leads to confusion. confusion leads to disappointment. disappointment leads to suffering.

[caruso_stalker217]

I wasn't around at the time to review this film, so I guess I'll review it now.

It's a bloated fucking mess of a disaster and it's probably the worst Star Wars movie ever made.

But I saw it with a friend of mine, we basically made fun of it the whole time, and there were some cool puppets in there, so it wasn't a total loss.

[so sorry]

It's a bloated fucking mess of a disaster

No debate there.

it's probably the worst Star Wars movie ever made.

I may still give the nod to Attack of the Clones or Revenge of the Sith.

[TheBaxter]

it's probably the worst Star Wars movie ever made.

I may still give the nod to Attack of the Clones or Revenge of the Sith.

ex-squeeze me, but no Jake Lloyd, no/less Jar-Jar... meesa thinkin' Phantom Menace is muy muy worse. yippee!

[caruso_stalker217]

Look, PHANTOM MENACE is terrible. But it's terrible in a cohesive way. RISE OF WHATEVER is an absolute mess that feels like they were literally making shit up as they went along, which can't be true because somebody had to sit down and write this shit. Introducing Palpatine in the first five minutes (fuck, during the opening crawl!) felt desperate and weird. Introducing a bunch of new bullshit Force powers, characters dying only to be resurrected immediately for no reason, Mark Hamill not giving a single fuck, and Luke just tossing off "Yeah, I always knew you were a Palpatine and so did Leia somehow" like it's nothing.

Who wrote this shit, a CHILD?

Then the fact that this is supposed to wrap up the whole Star Wars saga just makes it worse. If this was just some random Marvel movie or something it could easily be dismissed and forgotten. This was supposed to wrap up forty years of Skywalkers and Vaders and goongas and such and it's such a tossed off pile of garbage. It's like they didn't even try.

So, yeah, this pretty much killed Star Wars I guess.

[TheBaxter]

as a standalone film, it was fun and entertaining and empty, like a typical blockbuster film.
as the final film of a trilogy, it's a huge disappointment.
as the final film of the "Skywalker Saga" or whatever we're calling the entire 9-film arc, it's an abomination.

p.s. there will be an Episode X-XII, mark my words.

i think the prequels were worse because they ruin characters that were built up in the original trilogy, especially Anakin/Vader. they turn Yoda into a flying monkey doing lightsaber gymnastics. they have much worse acting and much worse dialogue, from start to finish. and they indirectly ruined one of my favorite moments of the OT, because Lucas sampled Vader's "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO" from ROTS and transplanted it into ROTJ and now i can't even watch that scene anymore except on an old crappy DVD version. Eps VII-IX were pointless and disappointing, but at least i can ignore them if i want.

[Fievel]

as a standalone film, it was fun and entertaining and empty, like a typical blockbuster film.
as the final film of a trilogy, it's a huge disappointment.
as the final film of the "Skywalker Saga" or whatever we're calling the entire 9-film arc, it's an abomination.

That sums up my feelings over time. My initial viewing was a blast at the theater. I knew the movie wasn't great, but I still had a fantastic viewing experience. That will never change. But to put it in terms of a trilogy and the Skywalker Saga, you're spot-on with that assessment.

I'm extremely disappointed they didn't follow Trevorrow's script - which I hated at first and then loved over time. It still isn't great, but I think it would have fared better on your last two points.

My current order of ranking:
1. Star Wars
2. Empire Strikes Back
3. The Force Awakens
4. Return of the Jedi
5. The Last Jedi
6. Rise of Skywalker
7. Revenge of the Sith
8. The Phantom Menace
9. Attack of the Clones

3-6 are pretty fluid for me. And Rogue One woud be at 5 and Solo would be at 8. Of course this could all change when my copy of Rise of Skywalker comes today.

[TheBaxter]

My personal ranking at this particular time and place in the universe would be:

1: Star Wars
2: Return of the Jedi (pre-NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO)
3. Empire Strikes Back
4. Force Awakens
5. Revenge of the Sith
6. Last Jedi
7. Rise of Skywalker
8. Attack of the Clones
9. Phantom Menace

on any given day, i could possibly switch 5-6 and 7-8. Rogue One would be between 3-4, and possibly worm it's way up higher. Solo would be slightly above or below 6.

[Fievel]

I thought I was bold for putting Star Wars ahead of Empire, but you put ROTJ in front of Empire! Mad respect!

I rewatched Rise of Skywalker yesterday. I knew that the viewing would not even come close to my theatrical experience, but I was so, so disappointed.

It really is a bunch of random moments that are shoehorned together by the thinnest of threads. I enjoyed parts, but that was it - much like Revenge of the Sith.


-I still don't know what the hell Exogol is. Is it a planet? A random surface with atmosphere just floating in space? As a location that should have been Epic (a sith temple!!!), it was the weakest and worst location in all of Star Wars. The video game Knights of the Old Republic (and its sequel) depicted a Sith world in a much more grandiose manner - and the atmosphere wasn't black.

-Luke as a Force Ghost was completely wasted (as he was in the previous two films).
-Lucas's idea of R2-D2 holding the memories of all 9 films was wasted.
-The abandonment of Coruscant as a capital/central hub was a missed location opportunity. That's my preference of Trevorrow's script showing through.
-Wedge's blink-and-you'll-miss-it appearance is stupid. He is Snap Wexley's (Greg Grunberg) stepfather. Missed opportunity. Hey your stepson just exploded, but how are ya?
-Didn't they learn from the Matrix films that dance party sequences are just stupid? And why not a planet that at least looked slightly different from Tatooine and Jakku? This moment reminded me of the casino scenes from Last Jedi - I get what they were going for, but it is ultimately a forgettable scene.
-Dominic Monoghan's character and Rose Tico existed in this film solely to offer exposition regarding Leia's thoughts/actions. Leia surrogates, if you will. I get it, but it was a waste of those characters. Rose hanging with Finn could have offered depth/perspective to him meeting the other ex-Stormtroopers.

And those are just the thoughts off the top of my head. All in all, a wasted opportunity. All they had to do was map out the trilogy from the beginning. That's it! And then we would have had a cohesive set of films where the intentions of an action in one film lead to an obvious reaction in another.

I'm going to watch the 2-hour documentary that came with Rise of Skywalker - it supposedly makes the movie better......(if a movie needs a documentary to make it better....)
But after that I think I'll take a Star Wars break for a while.

[so sorry]

Here's my ranking:

1. Star Wars
2. Empire Strikes Back
3. Return of the Jedi

The abandonment of Coruscant as a capital/central hub was a missed location opportunity. That's my preference of Trevorrow's script showing through.

Didn't that planet get vaporized in the movie with the planet sized weapon?

I'm going to watch the 2-hour documentary that came with Rise of Skywalker

wow, you've got some serious Covid-19 time on your hands, don't you?

[TheBaxter]

I thought I was bold for putting Star Wars ahead of Empire, but you put ROTJ in front of Empire! Mad respect!

like so much with these films, it comes down to nostalgia. i remember seeing TESB as a kid, though strangely i can't remember how i felt or reacted to the vader reveal. i just remember that, after hoth, it felt like there wasn't enough action or space battles. it also felt incomplete because of the unresolved endings. those are the feelings of an 8-year-old kid at the time; as an adult, i've since gained more respect for what they did with that film, and if i'd seen the series for the first time as an adult TESB would probably be #1.

ROTJ, on the other hand, gave me exactly what i wanted as a 10-year-old kid... but enough about Carrie Fisher in a metal bikini. it also had more action, cool creatures, and the finale cutting between Endor, Death Star Jr., and the space battle, was fantastic. the ewoks never bothered me back then, they only started bothering me decades later once i found out they were supposed to be wookieees instead. i still feel like the 3-part final battle is one of the greatest sci-fi action sequences, only somewhat damaged by the silliness of a pack of teddy bears defeating a massively technologically superior army, and the luke/vader/emperor scenes still hold up as some of the best moments of the entire series, especially vader's turn back to the light to save his son (until that stupid NOOOOOOOO bullshit).

i suppose it's similar to how kids who grew up on the prequels might choose phantom menace as their #1. the nostalgia factor can overwhelm the rational part of the brain that should recognize that they are terrible films.

[Fievel]

Here's my ranking:

1. Star Wars
2. Empire Strikes Back
3. Return of the Jedi

The abandonment of Coruscant as a capital/central hub was a missed location opportunity. That's my preference of Trevorrow's script showing through.

Didn't that planet get vaporized in the movie with the planet sized weapon?

I'm going to watch the 2-hour documentary that came with Rise of Skywalker

wow, you've got some serious Covid-19 time on your hands, don't you?

The planet that blew up was Hosnian Prime. The New Republic moved the capitol.

And I ain't doing shit right now. Such a weird time.

[Al Shut]

And I ain't doing shit right now.

That's because you quit your shit business.

[so sorry]

And I ain't doing shit right now.

That's because you quit your shit business.

Well played...

[TheBaxter]

And I ain't doing shit right now.

That's because you quit your shit business.

[Fievel]

What can I say? That was brilliant.
I'd like to offer the following retort - "It's okay. I have given myself to a higher calling."

[Wolfpack]

Good thing, because the stores are all out of toilet paper.

[Ribbons]

the fact that this is supposed to wrap up the whole Star Wars saga just makes it worse. If this was just some random Marvel movie or something it could easily be dismissed and forgotten. This was supposed to wrap up forty years of Skywalkers and Vaders and goongas and such and it's such a tossed off pile of garbage. It's like they didn't even try.

I think the problem with this trilogy is that they never knew what story they were telling. The Force Awakens just ripped off old Star Wars to remind everybody why they loved the franchise, then The Last Jedi pretty much wrapped everything up. The Rise of Skywalker had no idea what to do except "Oh hey Palpatine's back we guess." Each movie didn't need to be written by the same person, but it would have been nice if they'd at least had a map.

[TheBaxter]

the fact that this is supposed to wrap up the whole Star Wars saga just makes it worse. If this was just some random Marvel movie or something it could easily be dismissed and forgotten. This was supposed to wrap up forty years of Skywalkers and Vaders and goongas and such and it's such a tossed off pile of garbage. It's like they didn't even try.

I think the problem with this trilogy is that they never knew what story they were telling. The Force Awakens just ripped off old Star Wars to remind everybody why they loved the franchise, then The Last Jedi pretty much wrapped everything up. The Rise of Skywalker had no idea what to do except "Oh hey Palpatine's back we guess." Each movie didn't need to be written by the same person, but it would have been nice if they'd at least had a map.

yeah, it's fine when you're making standalone films to have individual writers and directors to put their stamp on things and exercise their creative freedom. but when you set out to make a trilogy from the very beginning, you need a guiding voice to ensure the whole three-film arc tells a single compelling and cohesive story. at the same time, it can be just as bad to have TOO MUCH of a single-minded vision, as the prequel trilogy showed. the OT got it right: Lucas wrote and directed the first film, but while the next two had different writers/directors, it was still Lucas' story and vision providing the framework in which they worked and guaranteeing they felt like a single piece.

i suppose you could think of their approach to this trilogy as an experiment, one that ultimately failed. turns out starting a major franchise trilogy without any clear idea of what the ending will be or how to get there is doomed to disappoint people... kinda like starting a serial mystery tv show about a plane crashing on a magical island with no clear direction or ending is bound to disappoint. who would ever think of doing such a thing?

[TheBaxter]

i watched Episode IX: Rape of Childhood again this weekend because it wasn't good enough to watch tonight for May the 4th, but i figured i should see it again at some point.
yup, it's still bad.

one thing that really bugged me this time around are the ridiculous force powers that suddenly appear out of nowhere. the prequels had this problem too, but to a smaller degree. and even Last Jedi introduced the whole "unconscious floating through space" power we never knew about before, which is still one of the silliest moments in any SW film (and that's saying alot when you have at least 3 films with Jar-Jar Binks in them). but in this film, suddenly Rey is able to heal people, something no Jedi has ever been able to do before. that sure would've come in handy when Anakin got his arm cut off! in ROTJ, Palpatine can barely summon enough force lightning to torture Luke... i mean, he probably could've blasted him strong enough to kill him outright, probably, but those Sith like to make their victims suffer a bit first. but in this movie, suddenly Palpatine can shoot out enough force lightning to disable thousands of starships flying above. that sure would've come in handy during the attack on the Death Star! but best of all... the entire prequel trilogy is based on Anakin's desire to find a way to save the lives of the people he loves, like his mom or Padme, and falling to the Dark Side because Palpatine promises to show him how. but now, suddenly, Kylo Ren can just bring Rey back to life like it's nothing. that sure would've come in handy in, oh, every single previous film? Qui-Gonn: "promise me you'll train the boy." Obi-Wan: "screw that, i'll heal you and you can train him yourself!" maybe it's supposed to be an extension of Rey's healing power taken to the extreme, which Ren knows how to do now because that one time Rey healed him and now he has the power too, i guess? apparently, the SW universe had a cheat code this whole time, and it took til Episode IX for someone to figure it out.

[Peven]

i finally watched this because it was added to Disney+ and i didn't have to spend a penny more than i had to this month to watch it. thank God, because that is easily the worst SW movie ever made. holy shit, i thought i detested the last steaming pile of SW but this made that actually look half competent in comparison. fucking ridiculous how they went full on saturday morning cartoon sensibility and made already relatively shallow material paper thin without any substance or depth. blech

[so sorry]

Yeah I re-watched it on SW Day too.

Yeah it didn't get any better on the second viewing.

Yeah, they rode space horses on the side of a star destroyer two miles up in the atmosphere.

[TheBaxter]

i watched this movie again. what is wrong with me. well, i watched the whole Rey trilogy, so that's my excuse. i was gonna say more stuff, but realized i'd already said everything i would've said about it this time. so i'll just repeat myself and once again mention that the ending of this movie is totally nonsensical, like literally everything that happens on Exogol makes no sense in the Star Wars universe or any other universe whatsoever. characters dying for no discernible reason, then being brought back to life through brand-new Jedi powers that were invented solely for this film. Palpatine somehow becoming more powerful than Thanos despite being a zombie clone or something. a massive fleet of Star Destroyers created out of thin air, along with the crews to man them. and they all fly at an altitude that still apparently has a breathable atmosphere and non-freezing temperatures. fuck, i just repeated myself anyway. oh well, fuck this.

[so sorry]

Of all the ridiculous non-sensical stuff my eyeballs have been thru in Star Wars movies, nothing, and I mean NOTHING, comes close to the battle on the side of a star destroyer in upper atmosphere on space horses vs lazer troopers. NOTHING.